The Human Capacity For Burden Is Like Bamboo

   Far more flexible than you'd ever imagine. ( continued from blog title, Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper)
   Just this week in April, I put on makeup to listen to an opera singer online. During the mascara swipe, I laughed, talking to myself, "Bonnie he is blind!" I was sure he would know it was me listening, I wanted to look nice. My friend Perlotta let me know, that He Knew!!! Friends are the Gorilla Glue of life. Love my friends.
  Also same week, I think???
  Husband said, "Wizard of Oz is on TV?" ( knows I love the movie) I told him, I was good, did not feel like watching Dorothy, but I may have said, " That person singing sounds like Judy Garland!!"
  People, this virus, is changing all of us.
  Such suffering and horror, and together time!!!
  What do they call it? Stay home time?
  I love home, and my family but I need things!!!
  I don't really need anything, ( that is not totally true!!)
  Paul Simon is playing on Alexia right now, I need them both!!
  I need a new President, period. ( Let the facts talk !) ( We may forgive you for voting for this human) ( but.....I will have to pray hard for forgiveness)
 I need spring plants. I know my nursery, has curb pick up, but I like to touch plants, and commune with what is coming into my yard. ( I get the same ones!!) ( maybe I can do it online!) ( will they understand, my purple and yellow, design element!!) (YES, I may be high maintenance )( No I am not, I am very particular !!)
 Each night before I go to sleep, my prayers are for all the people, you know, essential people, who are still working for us. So many angels among us, I pray they get paid for their hard, dangerous labor. Teachers, truck drivers, postal workers, nurses, doctors, all care workers, any and all, OH, Grocery delivery people . ( one at my door right now)
Corona Virus, has changed us, and I think for the better. I hope so.
It is a heavy burden on the human race, but we are known for adaptation.
A world full of suffering, heartache, and strong opinions, I am a Dreamer! John Lennon told me so.
I need the Beatles music !!
My mom is with us now, and has good days, and not so good. I remind her, that we all have those.
Life is what it is, and we all hang on. Some hang on the rope, and are very still. Some swing on the rope, and soar.
 Shooting for the stars, seems right in my wheelhouse around this 2020 year.
Be safe, love each other, keep learning, and pray that my nail people come back!!( OK, maybe its not at the top of my list, but damn if its not pretty high!)

Where Did You Go? MARCH!!! I am Talking To You

When you have a blog for 12 years, and then don't write for a month. Something is UP!!

Let us start in the beginning.
Flu A, jumped on me and my Wyatt ( g-kiddo)
My 50 year high school reunion, I had to miss. ( Broke my heart) ( our class of 70, Andrew Jackson Senior High, was and is remarkable. Friends for life, love them all)
Sent my son, Hart and the Dr. ( hubs and father of Hart) to Florida, like was planned to pack up my mothers home and bring her back to live with us.
Throw in a virus, that is killing, right now, 1 person every 17 minutes in New York City.
The all return, mom is very ill. ( big move)
Bonnie, (me) is still tired from the Flu.
And The United States has put the entire country, almost, on a complete lockdown for the elderly.
AND now that includes me!!! Bill and Mom, and a slew of other humans.
Groceries are flying off the shelf, news causing panic.
Second week, mom is much better. Her cute self is showing up. Still very weak, Flu Bug, Corona weak.
I have always known I was a tiny (????) bit spoiled, but these days, I have gone to my knees, and the back deck at 4 am to pray, Hard!!!!!
I have had cleaning people, who are like family, almost 40 years. Now they cannot come, and I miss them. I never wanted to clean, like my mother, all the time. A spotless house, that smelled of pledge and bleach, not happening. So even when first married, and no money, we had help!! Maybe not new furniture then, but I was not going to clean the floor with a toothbrush, evah!!! ( mom didn't do that, or did you mom??) ( I just remember Aunt Dot and a few others.)
We have yard people, that can still come, and I tell them with prayerful hands through the door, Thank you a million times!
After the children had grown up and out, and it was just the two Barons, we ate out a LOT. Why cook, like Thanksgiving everyday of the week??
NOW, I am cooking like Mrs. Cleaver in pearls!!
Three weeks, I have cooked, and I feel crazy!! I want Mexican food, and a Margarita the size of my thigh!!
I don't order food out, little iffy of nobody being tested for this virus, cooking.
I cancelled my hair appointment, don't get me started on nails!!!
I firmly believe, if momma is happy, I may be sweeter?!!
My seamstress, Grace, I need all the time. Short people, need to have all things altered.
Online shopping, no fun, not going anywhere.
My flower shop does have curb side pick up, I may have to cave a little. ( ask a child to bring me, spring annuals!!)
Oh March Madness, you also took away sports, its not good.
I do feel so blessed, so blessed.
I love having my mom, here and safe.
I love my family, near, far, and miss them so much.
Bill and I are retired, so we were use to each other, and very thankful we have a huge house, we need our space.
Animals are ok, Vet is doing curb side.
I had a visit with my doctor, over the phone.
We all need to be tested, everyone, the person in charge of this dropped the ball. Now we are in the trenches, of very few people have been tested. Hospitals are under staffed, and without equipment and protection from this horror.
I see the glass half full, always, but now I hesitate to drink from the cup!!
What is in that glass?
Oh heck, I will still drink, I know what I put in that glass.
Love, Joy and Hard Science thrown in. Stirred by Jesus, and another day.
Be safe, smart, love wins, with a little music turned UP!!!

Create Assemblages

 While watching Sunday Morning program, my church service/combo learning show, took me to my knees.
 Betye Saar, the artist, whom I had never heard of, touched me.
She creates assemblages!!
That is me, I require assembly!! I gather, summon, accumulate, hold a Come To Jesus meeting, rally, pack them in, herd together!!! Then somehow find the art, the joy in my stuff!! My thoughts, ideas, collections, evoke chaos and feelings of deep, down laughter or tears. Betye Saar, who is ninety, and still working, creates assemblages!! I love that word!!
 Years ago, while antique hunting, I found a bag of watch faces!! I looked at them during many different visits. I showed whatever kid was with me, these broken watch pieces, and thirty different size watch faces. They laughed at me, asking, "what cha going to do with those?" I don't ever know, I just know they should be coming home with me. I never bought them, the store closed down, and that was it.
Now to connect the dots.
Betye Saar had a beautiful project of clock faces, watch faces yesterday on the show!! She was having a gallery show, at MOMA. I yelled, "there it is, my watch pieces." I was like a proud mama.
She had other work, go online and view, one was a hanging, antique, christening gown, with all the names she had been called stitched in the hem!!! ( she is a beautiful, black woman, and these words had stung her) Very powerful. Also and old wooden ironing board with a print of slaves on a ship, a map of where their bodies would lay. Too much wonder and thought, amazing.
Her warehouse, where she works, needs me to visit. AND I am convinced she does not think about the clothes that need washing, or if the dryer just went off!! All people, need a space, an altar to create, touch, feel, be quiet in. She had a shelf of bird cages, I sighed!!
If that wasn't enough, the show had a little snippet about Richard Dreyfuss, take me home now!!
Goodbye Girl, one of my fav movies of all time, he stole my heart. I was a happy non church going human, ( Saturday Night Church, and all week mass, peeps!!) I thanked the good lord, for my Sunday morning service.
Today is Monday, rain all of February has, soaked my spirit, but I had Sunday Morning!!
I am headed to the art room, to create some assemblages!!
Where ever you are, join me, make something, think something wonderful. Travel, Read, Pray, Write, assemble your story.( ps, I can't find spell check on my webpage , they must know, I am not a big fan, of fixing mistakes!!) Oh wellllll, opps

Telly Savalas, Paul Simon, Sean Penn, Mikhail Baryshnika, Joe Namath, Rafa, Mick Jagger, Rory, The List is Endless........

 I woke up yesterday, singing Chances Are. Not humming it, singing my heart out.
Standing in the upstairs hall, coming down the stairs, loudly singing, and took pause before I saw the hubs.
 Before I come into the den, I ask the doctor, " Is Johnny Mathis dead?"
He(Bill Baron) replies, " Not that I know of."
I then proceed to explain, my thought process. ( you know us by now, it is not even five o'clock!)
" Well I woke up singing this song, and just had a thought that one of my loves ( dreams or no dreams) had gone onto glory"...…."And I need you (husband) to just ease me into any bad news."
" Better yet, I am on a need to know basis in my life, and I do not want to know!"
Just last week, I had to explain to my favorite (only) daughter's boyfriend, that you can not blurt out " Kobe is Dead!!"
I am one click away from stopping any social media, because of bad stuff jumping off the page at me!! Politics, Death, Missing people, what my color choices say about my personality, or lack of!!
I am NOT a fragile person, strong as an ox, would be a better cover title!!
However, I know how I operate, and people around me, know my limit!!
Ease me down the road, of horror stories!!
Tell me in a sweet, gently way, that there may have been an accident, and some people could be dead.
If it is any of my loves, and that covers MANY!!!!!! in all categories ( blog title)
Especially at my advanced age, people and things seem to be going away.
My days are short, my lists are long. Just when I think I can't possibly stand one more goodbye, something or someone I thought would be here forever isn't. Big life shifts, changes fast. ( words from a book, Fifty Things That Aren't My Fault by Cathy Guisewite. ( share words, some are mine, but you know I am a big borrower!)
Bulk guilt, multigenerational guilt, take personal responsibility, personal power to not look at headlines, and shop instead!!! ( Still Cathy!!) ( read this book)
Mom and Dad make weekly pilgrimages to the bank to visit people watching their money. AND post office to buy stamps!! ( Mary mom, does this sound familiar??) ( book words!!)
She had the cool, worldly aura of someone who'd just traveled to the neighborhood Goodwill and dropped off eight garbage bags full of her life. ( MOM, this is us!!!) ( Cathy wrote this book for us!!)
Untapped potential hangs over me like a giant pair of unused running shoes! ( has she been in my closet??) YASS!!
Ease me on down, that Yellow Brick Road...
Johnny Mathis is still with me this morning, and if he checks out, keep it to yourself.
Chances Are I will still be singing, he is in my heart, and my heart is FULL UP!!!!
Happy Monday, and give Johnny a listen, I will share.

Trials in Life, This is Nothing New

   I do not know if you are a political person. A spiritual person, a rock star or the postman, matters none. I hope you are a good human, a very smart, kind, educated, flawed, GOOD HUMAN. AND..if you are not....fix it.
  There is a trial going on in Washington, D.C. and maybe you have seen it, or heard about it.
  I'm sure it cost a lot of money, and its shameful. Both parties, I just have a bad taste in my mouth over this ordeal. I promise you, I have seen very little, but what I have seen, has stayed with me.
You see behind each speaker, there is a giant black, veined hunk of marble/granite that I tune into each day. I wonder where did they get it, who decided on this piece, and I want to touch it.
It is beautiful, strong, a masterful chunk of rock, that has my heart. I want each person, to turn around and look at this thing behind you.
Before each side speaks, take your finger and follow the lines on this marble, where do they go?
This is the earth, that you both have forgotten about.
Lay on it, lick it, if needed. She tells a story, and you all are not listening.
Trials are a part of everyday life. We have all been lied to, hood-winked, cajoled, scared, thrilled, loved, bullied, guided, each morning there is a new trial. We are young and old, in-between those ages, trial after trial and we learn, or don't.
This is not new.
We have had trials on TV before, impeached people before.
Have you ever spent a minute looking at the black marble??
Fatigue and illness, those are trials, in every day homes.
This is a trial of our country, maybe the world, its pretty vulgar and huge.
I think we all need to take turns, sitting in a senate seat, pondering the truth. Do we know what the truth is? Does it matter anymore? I think so, but what matters more, is you are not seeing the black marble. You have to look at both sides, research, learn, vote your heart and mind. Open your eyes, we have so much to lose, it may be gone already.
Only one planet, that I happen to be on, I need people to pay attention. Invest in your home, your people, all different kinds of people. We are not all right, or wrong. We have to try and at least be good, fair and honorable. We have to see it all, and make a good choice about our decisions.
Have you seen the trial? Did you see the black marble?
A simple question, varied are the answers.
Take a look, learn, listen, be a part of the solution.
and I know there is a story behind this piece of beauty, somebody tell it, before its all destroyed and gone. The marble or the people? Maybe both? I see a connection, and a disconnect, go look.

Show Up and Show Out - Billy Porter

Put your Kinky Boots on, and just suck it up!
That is my winter mantra.
I have very little complaints, because it has been rather warmish, so I have nothing to say.

When it comes to gathering stories, writers have no shame - Cassandra Conroy
Shameless, and full of material.

I love reading in the winter, and naps, and the mysterious way light enters my house.

I put many photos on facebook, so I don't feel the need to repeat here. Just know magic happens in the afternoon winter light at my house in Georgia.

The light shows up and shows out, around corners, slivers of dancing light, peeping in at me.
It is just delightful. So I don't have to ask you to "witness my tragic moment" again Billy Porter.
I seem to be hanging pretty sweet this January day, nearly 70 degrees today, and that my friends, is doable. ( I did notice, next Sunday, high hovers around 45, so enjoy this sweet post while you can)

Have started to read The Water Dancer, twice now. Ta-Nehisi Coates, I like, but this book has be baffled. ( I may follow Purlotta's advice and listen to it!)
Troublesome Creek by Michele Richardson, three pages in, may be good??I will let you know.
Keep It Moving by Twyla Tharp, is a masterpiece. All women, go get this book, now, and hang on.
( men could read it too, buttttttt maybe I am just speaking to my girls today) ( mom that includes you)
Ms T says that you can shuffle along carefully, or you can dance. We are all dancers. We have to move and expand, not shrink and contract, at any age.
Perspective always reduces our misfortunes to more manageable proportions.
The TRY is everything!! All these are her words
I love that, The TRY!! Show up and Show out, however you want to say it. Keep moving.
Stamina is a choice, not a birthright.
Endurance is a combination of willpower, focus, intention, and grit-essentially a matter of character and mental toughness. Twyla words of wisdom.
Is there a shelf life for anticipation?? NO, NO and NO. As we age we should still anticipate beauty, magic, feeling strong, music, nature, there is no shelf life for anticipation peeps!!
Fear is dirty fuel. Matisse wrote, " My destination is always the same but I work out different routes to get there." ( all of these words are coming from this book)
We age, just take a different route to health and happiness. ( my words)
Believing we cannot change our outcome leads to lethargy, Stagnation is horrible, move all your cells.
Show up to work, or retirement, with a purpose, adaptation. Make your obstacles your collaborators.
Genius words!!
You know I believe in dancing, whenever and however you do it. My friends and I, ( most of them) will be first on the floor, and last to leave.
Your body has been entrusted to you, let it dance. Keep trying, reach out, devote your life to something wonderful, or change it. ( now you will just have to figure out, which words are mine or Twylas)
Age is no excuse for inaction, or the term finished. NEVER. My grandchild, Wyatt, age 3, keeps me popping Tylenol, but boy does he take me on an adventure in movement. Just this week, exploring the jungles of our back yard, he told me he saw an Alligators tail, under some rocks!! I told him to just let the alligator rest, don't touch him. We continued turning over rocks, to see what we could find, and I let his imagination soar. We both kept moving and learning from each other I also had to prove to him that all leaves are not dog poop, and pine cones are our friends, but that story is for another day.
We are writers, sculptors or our lives, get working.
Master Cellist Pablo Casals was asked late in his life, "Why practice at age ninety-one?' " Because Iam making progress" was his answer.
Bend in the Wind, dance is any motion, do it. Age is not the enemy, stagnation is the enemy.
Creative lives come to us, who stop waiting.
My creative, and yours, most likely are very different. That is right and awesome.
Billy Porter, my spirit animal, one of many, speaks to me, along with my dancing guru Twyla, Show Up, Show Out, Shake what your momma gave you, sing and enjoy your January.
It is a beautiful day, in my neighborhood, and I include you, with love.

Echo In The Canyon

Jacob Dylan/Netflix/Echo In The Canyon

I just was Marie Kondoing my barge and came across this note to self.
Remind the masses to watch Echo In The Canyon, at least my generation. Truly any music people would probably enjoy the ride. Huge part of my listening skills came from this time period, of course I was a baby!! Well maybe pretty near these old peoples ages, my people, my music, my time.
Now a note to daddy.
Daddy,
    Linda Ronstadt had a special on last night, I can't remember the name of it, something about her voice, I know, Duh!!
    I watched with you, I know you were listening with me. You loved her bare feet and voice of magic. You would call me anytime she was on the tube, saying, " Bonnie, come here, you gotta see this girl. Now that is music." It did not matter how many times, she was on TV yo would holler, as if I had never seen her. And I, as a good child, (yes!!I was) would come running and agree with you on this girl of magnificent skills. You would say, she could sing, country, opera, pop, folk rock, the phone book, and it was the truth. I have loved her, with you through the ages. She is old, like me, daddy, and her voice is gone. I was thinking since you are probably near something godly now, you could mention that your daughter, still on earth, would like Linda Ronstadt's voice, if it is floating around in the heavens. ( Now, I don't understand, taking something like that away from someone, you can discuss that with God also?? I know you had several questions, add that to the list)
Back to me, even for an hour, a day or forever, could you just ask, for her ( God has to be a woman!)
to send me a good singing voice? And do not mention, as you so often did to me, that I sounded like a fart in a bucket!!!! It may make you look bad, maybe "they" don't understand your humor yet, although who made you?? I guess they know. Maybe run the questions by some angels, and see what our odds are. I just want to sing daddy, and maybe move like Jagger, but I'm just asking for the singing right now. See what you can do. I miss you, and our debates on everything. I know you are good, let us hear from you from time to time. Mom is good, she just needs to come here, she is a tad hardheaded, and we always thought it was all you!!! Kiss Ward, Tommy and Trudy for me, and so many others that we love, that are all over the place. I know people were not your favorite thing, but surely in a spiritual form, you can be welcoming. If not I'm sure there is a quiet cloud space, for you somewhere. Ask for directions, that may require a miracle!! I will give you a few days, but I will be practicing.
          Love,
    Number One Daughter
    Favorite child
    Bonnie