I Have Endured A Cornucopia Of Trauma

 Schitts Creek keeps on giving, thank you Moira Rose. ( above title to my blog)

I truly don't think I have had a lot of trauma, but then I remember, yes I have. The end of your life, kind of pain at the loss of a child. However....I believe the Cornucopia of trauma that MR speaks of is everyday

stress that we turn into bad things. Covid, lack of vaccinations, cold weather, January, that is what Moira is talking about. As my friend VB would say, " Girl your burden is huge!!"

January brings with it a magnet of gloom, and the political climate with all her grievances, weigh down my soul!!! Fear seeks in every corner, and that makes my job of finding joy, so much harder. I will not stop looking.

  Yesterday morning, as I was telling mom, I was so happy to find a new razor, and toothbrushes!! It was thrilling. Then after my bath, I sprayed on my perfume from Paris, and I paused with a grateful heart, where this smell took me. I read my 7 books of devotions, a few pages in each, and the sun was out. Surly I could not find anything to whine about??? I was on a mission of positive thoughts.

I go to the dermatologist to have my, Florida baby oil, skin cancer mole removed. The office was on point, triage out in the hall, wide space between three other people, and quick removal!! The doctor told me I was smart to get this mole looked at, I reminded him I was from Florida, we know our moles, and lack of sunscreen our entire life!!!

I was in and out in less than 10 minutes, happy, happy, joy, joy. ( no, I don't know if it is skin cancers, they save that for later)

Radio blaring, I make a note to tell Emma, I miss our road trips, and sing-a-longs.

I return to my home, and see the card on my desk, that I need to write. A sympathy card for a friend, who just lost her daughter, in her early thirties. Damn Cornucopia, real stuff. I wish I had words to tell her, that it will get easier on some days, but then I would have to say, some are just raw like January.

Maybe I will tell her, shock is her friend, and just lay with your grief, it will become a part of your being. I would also say, parent her memory, we never stop being their parents.

I was still sitting, 20 minutes later, I can not write it yet.

Maybe when I finish with you readers, I will, no promises, traumas lurk.

So on that day, my positive day, again talking to Mary mom, I told her my song of the morning wake up call, was Dancing Cheek to Cheek. I told her of an idea I had, that maybe they have Fred Astaire people that you could rent? ( Good idea, right??) ( or is that an escort service) Anyhow, I just danced with myself, on the hardwood floors, with socks on, pretending someone named Fred had a firm hand on my back telling me where to go. ( think Dr. B, hubby was at the grocery store!!) ( he is a saint but..) ( I needed Fred)

The day was lovely, my Moira came through, all dressed up and filled with crazy words, to get me through the day. AND an hour of Sam Cooke helped ease me on down that positive road.

whatever it takes.

Good food, music, Jesus, my cup is full and I am blessed with a cute cup to drink from.

Namaste and Hallelujah !!!!

This Time Next Year We'll Be Laughing by Jacqueline Winspear

Well the time for laughing is now, and its hard to come by. 2021 is here along with last years baggage.

It will take time, work, and more work and prayers beyond my beads!! 

So far the Christmas decos are down, to the tunes of Tracy Chapman, which was a listening pleasure.

The dust under all the decorations, sent me to grab an inhaler. Wheezing from Christmas dust, God did not think this through. Baby Jesus birthday should be in summer, with the AC humming.

I like to leave a little bit of Christmas up, in case of emergencies. This year a little tiny bottle brush tree made the cut, and a darling white feather owl ornament. Sometimes, a person just needs to be reminded of the manger!! The spirit of Christmas, does not all need to be boxed up. It took me five days, and a sore back, to put this holiday away. I feel lonely without the lights, but....I like the clean, semi less clutter of the hoopla. Once the paper and bows, are off!! Done and Done.

We all had a lovely holiday, small and funny. It always helps to have a little child around, to make it so.

Our Wyatt, age 4, opened everyone's gifts and loved them all!!!

I like my gifts from my husband, that I buy every year. Something I have done for forty years, after I got a robe that Big Mama would have worn. Also that same year, he gave me a book, that I was reading right in front of his eyes!! He has no problem with wrapping my gifts, and I thank him very much for his good taste. It works.

While cleaning under the pine boughs, I talked to Ward, his ashes are in a delightful clay jug/jar on the mantle. I reminded him, of how much we miss him, and caught him up on Baron family gossip. Kissed his container of love, and cursed the huge project of packing away memories, again.

My mom, had a great Christmas, a lot of presents and food, and love. She ventured downstairs to partake of the gathering, and I reminded her that I keep earplugs, in a drawer near me, if she needed to tune us out!! ( run on sentence is for James to correct) ( Your welcome, my fellow Jackson Graduate)

January are all of my grandsons birthdays, and my sweet sister Trudy Babe. Reasons to celebrate are plenty, and keep us going.

I celebrate each day, loving and living large.

Happy New Year, make it count.

And throw in some Tracy Chapman, a few Christmas decos, and a whole lotta love.

B