Trials in Life, This is Nothing New

   I do not know if you are a political person. A spiritual person, a rock star or the postman, matters none. I hope you are a good human, a very smart, kind, educated, flawed, GOOD HUMAN. AND..if you are not....fix it.
  There is a trial going on in Washington, D.C. and maybe you have seen it, or heard about it.
  I'm sure it cost a lot of money, and its shameful. Both parties, I just have a bad taste in my mouth over this ordeal. I promise you, I have seen very little, but what I have seen, has stayed with me.
You see behind each speaker, there is a giant black, veined hunk of marble/granite that I tune into each day. I wonder where did they get it, who decided on this piece, and I want to touch it.
It is beautiful, strong, a masterful chunk of rock, that has my heart. I want each person, to turn around and look at this thing behind you.
Before each side speaks, take your finger and follow the lines on this marble, where do they go?
This is the earth, that you both have forgotten about.
Lay on it, lick it, if needed. She tells a story, and you all are not listening.
Trials are a part of everyday life. We have all been lied to, hood-winked, cajoled, scared, thrilled, loved, bullied, guided, each morning there is a new trial. We are young and old, in-between those ages, trial after trial and we learn, or don't.
This is not new.
We have had trials on TV before, impeached people before.
Have you ever spent a minute looking at the black marble??
Fatigue and illness, those are trials, in every day homes.
This is a trial of our country, maybe the world, its pretty vulgar and huge.
I think we all need to take turns, sitting in a senate seat, pondering the truth. Do we know what the truth is? Does it matter anymore? I think so, but what matters more, is you are not seeing the black marble. You have to look at both sides, research, learn, vote your heart and mind. Open your eyes, we have so much to lose, it may be gone already.
Only one planet, that I happen to be on, I need people to pay attention. Invest in your home, your people, all different kinds of people. We are not all right, or wrong. We have to try and at least be good, fair and honorable. We have to see it all, and make a good choice about our decisions.
Have you seen the trial? Did you see the black marble?
A simple question, varied are the answers.
Take a look, learn, listen, be a part of the solution.
and I know there is a story behind this piece of beauty, somebody tell it, before its all destroyed and gone. The marble or the people? Maybe both? I see a connection, and a disconnect, go look.

Show Up and Show Out - Billy Porter

Put your Kinky Boots on, and just suck it up!
That is my winter mantra.
I have very little complaints, because it has been rather warmish, so I have nothing to say.

When it comes to gathering stories, writers have no shame - Cassandra Conroy
Shameless, and full of material.

I love reading in the winter, and naps, and the mysterious way light enters my house.

I put many photos on facebook, so I don't feel the need to repeat here. Just know magic happens in the afternoon winter light at my house in Georgia.

The light shows up and shows out, around corners, slivers of dancing light, peeping in at me.
It is just delightful. So I don't have to ask you to "witness my tragic moment" again Billy Porter.
I seem to be hanging pretty sweet this January day, nearly 70 degrees today, and that my friends, is doable. ( I did notice, next Sunday, high hovers around 45, so enjoy this sweet post while you can)

Have started to read The Water Dancer, twice now. Ta-Nehisi Coates, I like, but this book has be baffled. ( I may follow Purlotta's advice and listen to it!)
Troublesome Creek by Michele Richardson, three pages in, may be good??I will let you know.
Keep It Moving by Twyla Tharp, is a masterpiece. All women, go get this book, now, and hang on.
( men could read it too, buttttttt maybe I am just speaking to my girls today) ( mom that includes you)
Ms T says that you can shuffle along carefully, or you can dance. We are all dancers. We have to move and expand, not shrink and contract, at any age.
Perspective always reduces our misfortunes to more manageable proportions.
The TRY is everything!! All these are her words
I love that, The TRY!! Show up and Show out, however you want to say it. Keep moving.
Stamina is a choice, not a birthright.
Endurance is a combination of willpower, focus, intention, and grit-essentially a matter of character and mental toughness. Twyla words of wisdom.
Is there a shelf life for anticipation?? NO, NO and NO. As we age we should still anticipate beauty, magic, feeling strong, music, nature, there is no shelf life for anticipation peeps!!
Fear is dirty fuel. Matisse wrote, " My destination is always the same but I work out different routes to get there." ( all of these words are coming from this book)
We age, just take a different route to health and happiness. ( my words)
Believing we cannot change our outcome leads to lethargy, Stagnation is horrible, move all your cells.
Show up to work, or retirement, with a purpose, adaptation. Make your obstacles your collaborators.
Genius words!!
You know I believe in dancing, whenever and however you do it. My friends and I, ( most of them) will be first on the floor, and last to leave.
Your body has been entrusted to you, let it dance. Keep trying, reach out, devote your life to something wonderful, or change it. ( now you will just have to figure out, which words are mine or Twylas)
Age is no excuse for inaction, or the term finished. NEVER. My grandchild, Wyatt, age 3, keeps me popping Tylenol, but boy does he take me on an adventure in movement. Just this week, exploring the jungles of our back yard, he told me he saw an Alligators tail, under some rocks!! I told him to just let the alligator rest, don't touch him. We continued turning over rocks, to see what we could find, and I let his imagination soar. We both kept moving and learning from each other I also had to prove to him that all leaves are not dog poop, and pine cones are our friends, but that story is for another day.
We are writers, sculptors or our lives, get working.
Master Cellist Pablo Casals was asked late in his life, "Why practice at age ninety-one?' " Because Iam making progress" was his answer.
Bend in the Wind, dance is any motion, do it. Age is not the enemy, stagnation is the enemy.
Creative lives come to us, who stop waiting.
My creative, and yours, most likely are very different. That is right and awesome.
Billy Porter, my spirit animal, one of many, speaks to me, along with my dancing guru Twyla, Show Up, Show Out, Shake what your momma gave you, sing and enjoy your January.
It is a beautiful day, in my neighborhood, and I include you, with love.

Echo In The Canyon

Jacob Dylan/Netflix/Echo In The Canyon

I just was Marie Kondoing my barge and came across this note to self.
Remind the masses to watch Echo In The Canyon, at least my generation. Truly any music people would probably enjoy the ride. Huge part of my listening skills came from this time period, of course I was a baby!! Well maybe pretty near these old peoples ages, my people, my music, my time.
Now a note to daddy.
Daddy,
    Linda Ronstadt had a special on last night, I can't remember the name of it, something about her voice, I know, Duh!!
    I watched with you, I know you were listening with me. You loved her bare feet and voice of magic. You would call me anytime she was on the tube, saying, " Bonnie, come here, you gotta see this girl. Now that is music." It did not matter how many times, she was on TV yo would holler, as if I had never seen her. And I, as a good child, (yes!!I was) would come running and agree with you on this girl of magnificent skills. You would say, she could sing, country, opera, pop, folk rock, the phone book, and it was the truth. I have loved her, with you through the ages. She is old, like me, daddy, and her voice is gone. I was thinking since you are probably near something godly now, you could mention that your daughter, still on earth, would like Linda Ronstadt's voice, if it is floating around in the heavens. ( Now, I don't understand, taking something like that away from someone, you can discuss that with God also?? I know you had several questions, add that to the list)
Back to me, even for an hour, a day or forever, could you just ask, for her ( God has to be a woman!)
to send me a good singing voice? And do not mention, as you so often did to me, that I sounded like a fart in a bucket!!!! It may make you look bad, maybe "they" don't understand your humor yet, although who made you?? I guess they know. Maybe run the questions by some angels, and see what our odds are. I just want to sing daddy, and maybe move like Jagger, but I'm just asking for the singing right now. See what you can do. I miss you, and our debates on everything. I know you are good, let us hear from you from time to time. Mom is good, she just needs to come here, she is a tad hardheaded, and we always thought it was all you!!! Kiss Ward, Tommy and Trudy for me, and so many others that we love, that are all over the place. I know people were not your favorite thing, but surely in a spiritual form, you can be welcoming. If not I'm sure there is a quiet cloud space, for you somewhere. Ask for directions, that may require a miracle!! I will give you a few days, but I will be practicing.
          Love,
    Number One Daughter
    Favorite child
    Bonnie

If I Need To Be Wrapped In A Blanket....

NOTHING gets done.
I know I may have said, each year, that I was not going to complain about the cold weather.
That is just not going to happen, I have to write, to relieve my stress.
Use to smoke cigs, and drink too much, now I write.
Therefore I smell wonderful, have no hangovers, and am at peace in my writing.
Will you ever be a part of my story, sure. Will it always be nice, good chance, maybe not.
I collect thoughts, words and events from my life, and purge at a whim.
Just keeping you in the loop, so you can be aware of your good behavior.
Now......back to the title post.
If it is near 70 degrees, I have a sweater on. Inching towards 60 degrees, I'm an inside cat!!
40,30,20 you will just see my eyes, from under a blanket, carried with me, from room to room.
I can not get warm.
My beloved has tried to teach me, to layer clothes. The other day, my scarf got wrapped around the washer agitator, while trying to put clothes in dryer . It is not safe to have this many clothes on!!
I was going up the basement stairs, where I paint ( no one can paint, with the burden of sweaters and socks) with this huge blanket, and was stepping on it all the way up!! Trying to be careful, not wanting another new hip!! I gave that blanket to Lucy the Lab, she had her eyes on it for weeks.
My nose is cold, my ears are cold, my hands are cold, and trust me, I have enough meat on me to make a good sandwich, I should be warm.
If I increase the heat, my eyes dry up and I can't blink, and my nose bleeds. I have all kinds of cute humidifiers, that are running or I have not found, plus our furnace has humidity coming out also, as per Mr. Heater Man, the beloved, who sits behind me, as I type!!
You see Dr. Bill, the hubs, is from Buffalo, New York, he is dressed like a L.L. Bean catalog, layer upon layer!! I don't even wear a coat, it is like an albatross, I would rather stay inside. I think I may have some bear DNA in me, hibernating until you are hungry or a reasonable temperature, works for me.
You can not cook, or get dressed to go out to eat in cold weather, what do you do with the coats!! Seat belts nearly choke you in a tee-shirt and jeans, throw a big parka on and you are asking for the air bag, to take you out!! (long run on, I know!)
AND people, puffy coats and jackets look horrible on every human. Hoods look horrible, most sweaters are itchy, and lipstick does not improve the winter look!!!
I think Christmas decorations look just as nice, in 88 degrees or higher. Oh Holy Night can be sung by the pool or beach, and the smell of suntan lotion works all year round!! ( Just ask Bobbi Brown, Beach fragrance)
It is gray and empty looking in Atlanta today, and not yet too cold. (Not true, it is too cold for me, but maybe not you, 55 ish)
I tell my darling Bill, that I feel waves of grief and sadness pass over me, daily this time of year.
He said, it is probably the Holidays!!
The hell it is, I love Christmas, it is cold weather. It is not normal. Have you seen any pretty people in Alaska?? NO, you can not look cute, or act sweet in cold weather, period!!!
Then he said, something to the effect, that I look cute. ( I think that may have been a mirage, or wishful thinking on my part)
OR he was hinting that maybe he would like some lunch??
Now you know, that is not happening in the summer, surely not in my blanketed state!! I will give him half of whatever I have, that is like fixing him something, right??
Thank goodness, we are both loving, independent people. We just have polar opposite ideas of winter,
maybe polar opposite all things, but it works!!
In all kinds of weather, love wins!!
Stay warm, and be sweet people, in this climate of hatred and change.
Baby Jesus in the manger, he was swaddled in the manger, he had a good mom.
Blanketed and Holy, Merry Christmas.

What Reindeer ??

 I do not even know if I have written blogs, this month.

November has come and almost gone, and my brain is stuck on the top of the Ferris Wheel !!!
My mom is in a rehab facility, big changes happening, all around us.
Boston Baron kids, will come play with us for Thanksgiving. Food to cook, and order.
Christmas cards, are ready to send, I just cant seem to find my stamps, lists, and address return stamper!! ( I may have packed them with Christmas Decorations!)
Oh my, and when am I going to decorate, and buy gifts, and go see mom, and Lucy the Lab is acting like she is 100!!! Dinah the old cat, needs insulin daily!! no one wants to watch her while we make any plans, its all good!!
Hubs is recovering from hip surgery, doing great, but can we split the driving to Florida?? We could fly, but in Atlanta, that is another 4 hour ordeal, before you ever see the airplane. It is all good!
Just thinking out loud...
Watching Hallmark Christmas shows, for a month now, to calm my chaos.
A show was on, I don't remember its name, but this little kid was trying out for The Christmas Play.
His Dad or mom, or stepparents? ( I sort of watch) ask him, what part of the play did he get. He timidly says, The Fifth Reindeer. WHAT!! I yell at the TV, that is horrible. The adults are telling him, Oh that is Comet, he is a good reindeer, blah, blah, blah. I proceed to tell this child, this is not a good part, it means that you can not sing or act, and your parents did not donate enough money to the church!! They could make cardboard reindeers!! Then I gathered my voice, after my beloved hubby may have been looking at me!! I think he was laughing, but....who knows...
Well maybe the costumes are good, and you can ring a bell, but the Fifth Reindeer. Honey, (boy on TV) this is not good. I stuck with the program, and watched all the other kids get good parts, and worried the entire time( which is my best skill) about this child's future. Finally at the end, a Reindeer child, got sick, and they gave the part to a small dog!! Rudolph, they gave to the dog!! I told the child, that this is a big lesson for him. One-he was a team player and good sport, and that is good.
Second-Dogs show always get to play Rudolph, and you are on a good team, with that leader.
God Bless this boy, he held his antlers up real well, but his tongue and front legs begged like a dog.
Its all good, isn't it?????
I was Mrs. Santa Claus in 6th grade, with the most beautiful red shoes, I had a big part.( you don't think they gave it to me because I was chunky!!!) NO...Mom said I was the best....The best fifth reindeer mom!!! What about the lead in Oklahoma, I know I can't sing, but I had Hollywood stage style!! I was the fifth Reindeer, now I know!!
Well young man, from Hallmark movie, you will be fine. Keep putting your foot in the play, try everyday, forever. Some of us just Shine, go for it.
Happy Thanksgiving week, to all of you fifth reindeers out there.

Go Ask Patti

Know this, Patti Smith, is not all yall's , cup of tea!
In fact she can not be confined to a cuppa.
This child of the universe, has led 10 lives, in this earthly one, and she is not done.
Singer, songwriter, poet, author, artist, and soul searching person. She has fascinated me, for decades.
I saw her sing, only once, and I do not even like her singing. However she had me in her spell, I hung on each word, and scream, uttered from that body and mouth.
Her appearance is minimal to a fault, she treads lightly.
I have read all of her books, and love her writing, she is just plain interesting, period.
This past Sunday there was a book review, from The Year of the Monkey by Patti Smith, in the paper.
I thought, wonder what they will say. I can not find the right words to describe anything about this 70 year old woman of the world. She says, Life is about perspective, even the most mundane circumstances.
Personal journeys, we all have a story to tell. Longing, Love, Grief, cautious Hope.( by Bryan Reesman's article) We have to surrender to her style and be inspired. ( wonderful review Mr. Reesman, I borrowed some of your words)

She was best friends and lover with Robert Mapplethorpe, for many, many years. Friends until his death. She was best friends and maybe lover with Sam Shepard, and with him when he lost his life to ALS.Ms. Smith is in the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame. Many book awards have come her way, in countries all over the world. She fascinates me, and her new book, continued us on a journey together in reading.
Here below are some of the highlighted pages from me.
         1. You could count on him for anything. Anything except staying alive.
         2.Thirst will cease to be thirst and wounds will cease to be wounds.
         3.nobody knew the stories left undone
         4. Twenty-four percent of the population had elected the worst of ourselves to represent the other
         5.post election paralysis claiming us all
         6. I sat in the center of my own disorder. ( this is in reference to Polaroid photos)
         7.The Game pf Havoc, an uppercase game with a lowercase deity
         8.Do not act like you have ten thousand years to live
         9. Sliding the box back into its place I feel strangely off-center, a moment of sorrow's vertigo
(Sorrow's Vertigo, lord have mercy, powerful)
         10. Not just shards of love, as Sandy would say, but the whole goblet
          11. dreading the deceptively antiseptic corridors and invisible bacterial zones, that trigger an instinct for self-survival and the overriding desire to flee!!( long sentence Patti, but your description of a hospital, is spot on)
  Thank you for telling your story in so many ways, and for being born in my time.
  I end October with many thoughts, about how fast the days are, and how important it is to put pen to paper.
  Your words, your story, you never know who you will touch, teach, guide, or discourage.
  Elijah Cummings, told his children and friends, " I won't let you fall."
  How wonderful to hear.
  Clocks, turn back on Saturday or Sunday AM.
  I will have so much work to do, to take me out of this darkness and cold weather.
  Don't worry, I will only share my good thoughts with you. ( You know that is not true, I will bitch and moan, all winter. Know that is comes with love from me to you!!)( oh heck, I don't know if that is totally true either, just surrender to my journey, Patti style.)

The Idea of Place

My husband knows I like to read his Princeton Alumni Magazine, the articles are good and I like the listing of houses/apartments to rent all over the world. I have rented many a place from this list.
 Often he passes it to me, before he reads it, IF he reads it.
Wonderful article about Toni Morrison Remembered. She taught at Princeton since 1989, and this article talks about a Keynote address that she gave, October 25, 1996, for Princeton's 250th anniversary convocation.
    I will not type the entire address, just some things that jumped off the page to me.
She is talking about, the place, simple love of a place, the spirit of a place. She quotes Wordsworth's eloquent use of conceit that certain sites, natural sites, held genni which"spoke" to the contemplative passerby.
Ms Toni also quoted Geoffrey Hartmann calling, "continuum of wisdom of the dead and the energy of the living." In other words, the spirit of the place is animated by a reverence for the past that is forever mitigated by the present. ( Big words, big thoughts)
  Reading this caused me to think about places I have been, and will go. Houses that hold memories, yet have long been gone from our lives. Things, stuff, neighborhoods, halls, schools, parks, museums, churches, and Anne Franks House!!!!(where I fell out) Princeton is dear to me, because that is where I fell in love with my husband and Princeton.
  Right now we are trying to get my mother, Mary, to come live with us in Atlanta. She doesn't want to leave her belongings or her home, her city, her memories.
I tell her, memories you carry with you, and if needed pack up some stuff, and bring it with you. Whatever would make the move a little easier, her collection of ear bobs, stools, photos galore.
She enjoys being here, we enjoy having her, it is just so hard to let go of things.
This story about Ms. Morrison's speech, reminded me, that the spirit of a place that holds your heart travels with you, past, present and future.
 I just finished a book, called Ladysitting, My Year with NaNa at the End of Her Century by Lorene Cary ( I think that is the author?? I need my magnifying glass but its in the next room!!) ( close enough)  I love the term Ladysitting, and I loved this book.
We have to make space for people, breathe in the air, and make space. Grief needs more life and air to take in , we have permission to let people and things go. This Nana in the book, told her family that they took such good care of her, it was hard to die, when you feel so much love. ( I think we did that with daddy) Rejoice, is a word, often repeated in this book, and I love it.( I just love random words)
 It was a delicacy of resentment ( I love that sentence, amazing use of words) ( even out of context)
" Yes God is real," Mahalia sings so!!! ( amen!)
  Delight and Time, the wide-armed, fragrant mimosa to climb in summer, the fireplace to stoke in winter. ( its about choices, all day long!!)
 Princeton, Toni, NaNa, Ladysitting, all intertwined.
Patti Smiths new book, I will have to take an entire blog to give it my all. I hope you, whomever you are have read her books. Next time.
My place, right now, is typing this blog, listening to my husband shred something behind me, and being so thankful that his hip surgery complete and good. The day is gray, birds are singing, dog snoring, kids and grandkids, mom and Benjie, all good. Friends near and far, have a place in my heart, and grief stays tucked in, on most days. It too has a place.
 The Idea of Place, you take it with you.