Thank You

     I have so many things to be thankful for, an endless list. This Thanksgiving is no different.
   
     Here are just a few odds and ends.
     So thankful for my kindle. ( here are some books loaded;  When In French, Shaken, The Broken Way, Big Little Lies, Bandit.) I have almost finished Shaken, enjoyable and sad in a way, too lengthy for me to explain. Those are some of my November, December books. Reading is one of my favorite things to do.
     Thankful for my English teachers for helping me navigate literature with a passion.
     Thanking all family and friends for the recipes I will use this turkey day. These dishes are a constant love at this time of the year.
      Family near and far, friends all over the globe, I love you this holiday and each day after.
     The weather is right up my warm, sunny alley, Thank You.
     Very blessed to go to the grocery store and have money for what I need, and more.
     My home, as my niece would say, is all you Aunt Bonnie. So happy in this house, we call home.
     Health, could be better, my hip hurts sooooo much, but I have meds and good doctors, so again Thankful.
     The computer annoys me, and comforts me, I like all technology, Thankful. ( I do not like clickers for the TV)
     I love love love, that I wake up every  morning with a new song to sing. I crack myself up, I never know what will come out, but out it comes!! Each day to wake up to a song on your heart, it awesome. So thankful for music in my life.
    My parents are alive, and not near me, but I know they are in good hands, and I have enjoyed 64 years with my parents, and that is joyful.
    I am thankful for my ability to enjoy so much around me, I pay attention and get to see and do.
    Our animals rule , as it should be, I can not imagine not having pets! ( even while listening to one of the cats hurl this morn!) Love them all past, present and future.
    Most of all so thankful I had, my Ward, with us for 25 years. I wish it had been longer, I don't understand why, but that is something God and I will talk about when I see him/her.
    My faith sustains me, and I remain thankful for my belief in the baby in the manger.
    Hope your day is special, with love and yummy food. No political talk allowed! because I may take you OUT!! for being crazy, OK no political blog time either!! Its beyond hard, but I am working on being kinda sweet.?
    Thankful you take a minute to read my blog
     Enjoy your people
     Love someone
     Eat lots
     B 


    

With A Heavy Heart

      My hands are shaking so bad, because of the chill in the air and country. People believe it is OK to use Nazi symbols, and Racist language. PEOPLE if you see someone doing this, stop them. We can look back and learn, but never go back.
     Garrison Keillor said, "Raw Ego and proud illiteracy won out." All politicians have huge Egos, they constantly need stroking. Raw Ego must be the worst! Like its not edited, open for display. Proud illiteracy is a horror to even think about, but think we must. No one chooses, no education, do they? The coal miners in West Virginia are just hard working people, who have very little education. You don't have to be educated to know what hungry feels like, or poor. We, all of us, have to do something about education in this country, in rural America, in inner cities America, we are broken.
    Sunday morning, I saw this man on TV say about why he voted for Trump, " Aint gonna say he's a savior but maybe he will help us out." Sad, uneducated, poor people, and we have ignored them. No wonder they are angry but.......these people cling to their guns and Jesus, and don't grow. Technology came in and the steel mills and coal mines, did not get on board. The needed to educate their people for future jobs, help them widen their net, teach people!!!
    54% of our country did not vote at all, that is beyond belief to me. I don't care if you hate everybody, find a reason to be a part of the solution.
   I dont feel angry about Mr. Trumps victory, I feel nothing. That scares me even more.
  It was a long, hard week of quiet reflection and prayer. My prayers are vague.
  We are so lucky to live in this country, but we all have to work hard at making it better, for all, not just a few. Not just the winners, all of us have a role to play. The stage is set for this new president to do........I don't know...good, I hope. Right now it just looks fragile, and fragile is something I know too well.
   Grief can make you fragile, unrest in society can cause grief, and there lies the circle.
   I carry a heavy heart, but in a really nice suitcase!
   I believe in people, I believe in you.
   It is a new week, filled with hope and promise, and crazy takes a back seat.
   (I promise this is my last blog about the election, but......oh. I cant promise, but I will try, worn out with this mess) ( Delta Lady one of the best songs ever, Leon R you left too soon)

Because We Can

      Thank you my friend, from across the pond, for the above title of this blog. It can be used for so much these November days.
      Voting begins for some today, many have voted early, because we can!!
      Because we can, we get to choose who to vote for!
   
      Because your choice is so personal, hopefully you feel proud. I know I do.
      There seemed to be a clear choice to each of us between Trust and Temperament.
      To not trust can be forgiven, not forgot. Some can never trust again, but the option is there.
      However temperament in a person, is constant. You cannot change that, forgive that, mold or work with that, when the temperament is reckless, cruel and wrong.
   
     Because I can, I turned the telly off for much of the election, it was very toxic to me. It scared me to see people, know people whom were off the charts acting bad. There angry temperament was and is
frightening.
    I think you have to vote, after you have done your research. Be comfortable in your skin, heart and mind. That is all we can do, because we can, vote for our candidate.
   Someone will lose, and that will hurt many people. It is a big part of life, to win or lose. How we act after any lose, is important.
   I think my person will win, but if they don't it will not change my beliefs. I will get up and work harder for the next election. While we are walking this earth, we have to do our best. Because we can, we do.

This crisp November Day ( November rolls so nicely off your tongue, October sounds like something is stuck in your throat!!) ( just sharing a thought) finds me, at peace.
     My mom and Dad, all 85 years are doing good, my kids are wonderful humans, and my g-kids are growing and learning so much, driving their parents nuts, which is the deal!! because they can!!! Number four son bought a beautiful house with his wife, near us, and it is filled with light and joy coming out of the walls, I thank the owners for leaving behind such goodness. (Damn long ass sentence) (sometimes you just have to keep going, grammar be gone!)
   My hubs will retire this August at 70 ( Bill, that is old!) ( still my Bob Newhart)
   Me, I write, I paint, I love, because I can.
   
  

   

I Know Crazy!!

      There are a few days before we elect a new president. The country has gone mad, with the two humans, seeking new employment.
      The choices seem beyond clear to me. You choose crazy, because you are familiar with these kinds of people, or you choose a shady lady, who can run this country with her hands tied behind her back. I use shady only for the fact that it rhymes with lady! The email scandal, is a mute point to me. I think she and Bill may have bodies in the basement??? Eleanor Roosevelt had them also, skeletons rattling every room, she should have been president. Barbara Bush could have whipped this country into shape. Women in the White House, are strong, beautiful people. We need a women to wrangle all these crazies out there.
     But to be fair, I always do my research.
                             Who are these people willing to vote for this man? I have to know. So I decided to read, White Trash. The 400-year Untold History of Class In America, by Nancy Isenberg. ( no, not everyone fits into a category, but there is a huge vein of very bottom of the barrel looking people at Trump's speeches) ( Maybe the word is "simple", I am trying not to offend the multitudes, a woman wearing a t-shirt with an arrow pointing to her private parts, saying "Trump can touch this!" is trash.")
( Seedy, Igno? are these adjectives selective? of the whole)( I can only write from my voice)
                      This book, should be read in all history classes, high school or college, it is so fascinating. With or without an election, to bring this story to my attention.
        I think the word trash makes it crude, no one is trash, its how the class came into being, and the many terms that have been used over the past 400 years. Since England shipped us all there thieves and other loose change people!!! Classes of people, seem to revolve around land ownership, maybe still to this day. Where we live, how much education we have, work ethic, ability to do better than your parents.
        This is not an easy book to read, but it is a journey we all need to take. It is easy to look at a person, and judge, I confess to that 100%, but I did my reading and have a better understanding of my looking at this group of Trump people, in not such a harsh light. It is an insurmountable task to raise up people from poverty and ignorance, but I believe you can.  I have come to learn that cotton fields, made the south rich and poor at the same time, we had no food!!! only cotton!! I read that White Trash was not just a southern term, pockets of poor people were all over. There was a name of prairie dirt farmers, and oil monkeys from up north(thinking all worked in steel mills and factories). Piney woods people, and Sandhillers, were named that because of the land they lived on. Poor white people were cursed because they were consigned to the worst land. Highly inbred, (think !!not many people on the colonies!) alcohol and dirt. In 1755 poor people had to wear badges, women were just for breeding, slavery corrupted all white men, rich and poor. Puritans were obsessed with class rank, the church right at the top!! Who sat in the front of the church nearest the preacher, now they were special. Being without land, owning property separated everyone.
       This book covers 400 years, so I just touched on a few pages.
       The anger and ignorance that never goes away, baffles me.
       All people have worth, White trash, or Thugs is just a name, for waste and I do not believe in waste.
       However, I was interested in its origin and why I come away from listening and looking at Donald Trumps backers freaks me out. ( they probably say the same about my liberal la-la self)
       I , at least, try to understand. I have people I love, that probably have voted for him. I love them for a reason, I just don't understand their choice.
       Take the time to think about us at a whole, and how we can grow together.
       Read this book, and a million others, about our country and how it came to be.
       Be a part of the solution.
       And I will try not to judge so harshly, but come on....The lady with the arrow pointing to her VaJayJay!! This is going to be hard, but I know Crazy, so I will try harder.
                              

A Small Window

        As I sit, in this familiar spot, I hear nothing but tree cutters. Chain saws, next to chain saws cutting down branches that flew off last week, and a few that needed to be clipped. The noise of the chipper is deafening, but the smell of cut wood is divine. A branch here or there, lets in the sunshine a little more, and that, my friends, is glorious.
      Lucy, who is petrified at the noise, sits with me. We are natural observers, of people and their tools!!
Lucy Mae is my black lab, if you need a reminder.
      Our subdivision, has big trucks all over the place, we are getting new streets. I guess its asphalt, all I know is that there is so much noise. Street workers, tree workers, and we watch. ( If I screamed right now, no one would hear me, its so loud!!) (I have asked them to shake the berries out of the trees before they chip it, is that too much?) ( the birds and squirrels need those berries) ( I have a family of chipmunks that live under my front stairs, save the berries!!) ( wait, I may have to go get some twigs, for winter nests!) ( Gosh, let me go for a minute)
     
      OK, back to you, I have scavenged for my outside animals, we are good. ( I wish you could see grown men, with chain saws, shaking the berries off the limbs)

      My October blog today was going to be about my reading, and I may get to it. Tomorrow, maybe, I cant think.
      I will say about the title, I have a Small Window of Time, that I can go to sleep. Last night, because of The Walking Dead, TV series, I missed it. First of all, I have to be careful at what goes in my brain, all the time, but especially at night. Second, if I miss my window opening, trying to stay up, my brain says, "Too Late, you are toast!" and I will be awake for a long spell. Last night I saw horrible things, scary and sad and could not go to sleep. So today I am reminded of my small window, and structure/routine that my body requires. We are such creatures of habit, and the older I get, my habits rule! Plus by 64 you had better know yourself pretty good, and take care of your body/mind/spirit. Lord I cannot watch anymore Zombies......
    So let me pause, and write tomorrows blog, do a little research, and I will get back to you, when the noise dies down, and I have gathered up the sawdust, some little creature may need it!!( I think this is a run on sentence, extraordinaire!!) ( I could go fix it, but...) ( nah)
   Later
   B

Guilt, 70% Off

     I saw this advertisement for a store, its name was GUILT, and they had a 70% off sale.
     A bargain will always cause me to stop, look around, and maybe purchase. BUT a store named Guilt?

     Guilt is not part of my vocabulary. So I can not, even online, browse a store with this name.
   
     Guilt reigns supreme in mothers of the 40's and 50's, running into the 60's and beyond. I have never bought into that horrible feeling, that especially women, put back on themselves.
      Remorse and regret, certainly I meet daily.
      Toxic Guilt where it is an offense, crime, violation against moral or penal law!!! Good lord, that even sounds horrible. Jewish mother quilt, Catholic confession guilt, mommy quilt, its not healthy.
      That was just something that caught my attention, this week.

      I am desperately trying to not have the TV on, any news, or look at anything on social media, about this election. People have to be very careful, what they put into their brain. Do your own research, and feel good about your choices. Honestly, I may have to see a doctor, after this election. It has baffled me, this total break down in human behavior.

       I have voted, and held hands with this black young man, at the booth, because I was so emotional. ( I asked him, to pray with me) I made the sign of the cross, and was so thankful to live in a country where you can vote. ( but ashamed of people in our country) ( not all, but 40% at least)
   
      The weather is beautiful, and touches me so much, and I want all these angry humans, to just go outside and sit with yourself, and do good things. Heavens to Betsy, be kind. In thought, words and action. Be the change that your want to happen, we have to work on ourselves first, and then change the world. ( I think that is probably in a Bob Dylan song) (dang, I may have to pay copy write laws)( no I said his name, so its good) ( Maybe it was Michael Jackson?? no, that was We Are the World?? OMG, I can not think of all the people who I borrow from!! just know that I do thank all!!)

I have no remorse, regret or guilt for rambling!!
   and abrupt changes of thought, hang on.....
        I looked up the origins of all my ancestors names this week, so much fun.
                                  Williams-Scottish
                                                   Irish
                                                   Welsh
                                   Baron- English
                                                Northern French
                                                German-if spelled Barun, years ago
                                    Talbot-English
                                                French
                                    Blackman-English
                                                      Scottish
                                                      Irish
                                    Hartley-English ( Kent and Devonshire)
               
                                   Bonnie-All Scottish ( Bonny)
                                                Middle French ( Bon)

So much fun to look up all your ancestors. We have our tree pretty full, but will continue to work on more, when Bill retires. ( I am making plans for him!!)

              That is about it, on this hump day in October. Hot in Atlanta, climate change is real, do your research, don't be stupid! I will embrace the heat, but you heat haters better make some plans.
              Mom and Dad are good, still many repairs from Matthew , but they are hanging.
              All my kids, are good. ( And if they are not, don't tell me! I am in a good space right now!)
              Enjoy your quilt free day, its 70% off!!!
              Love
              B


       
                                   Hartley-English(Kent and Devonshire)

Redefining Boundaries.......

.......of Literature.

                 How many decades has it been? Five or twenty? We have listened and knelt at the altar of Robert Allen Zimmerman, or as I call him (my personal friend) (you know I believe this) Bob Dylan.
                 If you have been lucky enough to hear him in his youth, that poets voice speaks ever so softly. However if you have heard, the old crooner that he is now, it is much like spitting out gravel. I count myself on the receiving end of both. I heard the rarest of birds, decades apart, who composed for my generation.
                This past week, unless you live under a rock, you know Bobby won the Pulitzer Prize for Literature. I felt like a mother hen, one of my own, had a trophy!! Some were in awe, and others distraught. ( such division in our country these days) ( maybe always) (sad) ( I think I should be using hashtags, instead of my parenthesis) #Iamtoosetinmyways
                Now back to my thought...two sides for every coin, works when you win! My soul is on the side of love, love, love for this man's work of literature, poetry, words of my heart. For days I researched
all of his song lyrics, trying to pick a favorite. Lay, Lady, Lay was high on the top, I promised myself YEARS ago, I would have a big brass bed! and I did most of my married life. I just thought that song was so sexy??Lord I will have to look up the date when it came out! I may have been a baby?? When did I start thinking about sex, Lord, this is therapy stuff!! All Along The Watchtower, Like a Rolling Stone, Knocking On Heavens Door, A Hard Rain's a-Gonna Fall, Rainy Day Woman, Tomorrow is a Long Time, Shelter from The Storm, It Ain't Me Babe, Maggie's Farm,  forever continues.
Go back and read some of his songs, it is a beautiful experience. A folk master, troubled, drug fueled, recluse, Jesus and Moses on his side, a medicine man, serving up joy juice. He wrote his own journey, and took us with him.
               When my boys were little, I don't think Emma was born, we would listen for hours to The Traveling Wilburys. One of my favorite group of artists all together with Bob.
                Years later at an outdoor festival in Atlanta, I took high school and college aged boys, mine, to Music Midtown, to expose them to Bob. Well, I lost them, or they lost me!! and I stood by myself, next to the stage, under the stars, holding my heart. Tears flowing, and me, happy to see Bob Dylan. He was rusty and fit like a glove. He so deserves this award.
                 ( Oh, I did find my children, they had gone back to Wards dorm, and left their mom to be with her hippie music!) ( They were lucky I did not run off and join the band!)
                 Or maybe I did, metaphorically speaking! Blowing in the wind, I think their is an answer in there somewhere.
                love
                B