Tuesday Morning With Bonnie

   Each early morning, I ask my husband what his plans are for the day. I know them, but I like to look interested, and I am, semi alert and thoughtful. He is either teaching or in meetings, or researching ways to teach very smart kids, at Georgia Tech. ( this is his second job, after I would not let him retire!) ( he was too young to retire, and you need a hobby!)( Bell labs and Lucent had his young mind, now Dr. Bill teaches people like him, its a beautiful thing) ( sorry, off track)  Then as he heads out the door, he routinely asks me, what are my plans? I perk up, and say, " Just stirring around."
    I covered myself back up on the couch, because, you know I am freezing. Talked to Emma, my mom and Bill again, texting some crazy something about Front Line Flea and Tic medicine for the dog! I barely have any time to stir!!!! So I got up, picked up a tad, around the house, told Lucy I was going upstairs to bathe, and visit with the cats. When I entered my bedroom, I sat down to think about The Outlander Series of books and program. ( only Perlotta and Bernacious  will understand this) and I thought.....Jamie Fraser would not have me make up my bed!!! nor would I have to wash my hair everyday!! It was the 1700's...but all that wool....and damp cold Scotland......Oh hells bells, let me make up the bed.
   After my brief shower, and some new face cream that my daughter-in-law, Emily, has turned me onto(www.beautycounter.com/emilybaron) I sat AGAIN, looking at my face. This all natural beauty line, is unbelievable, my skin looks great and feels fantastic.( I bet my complexion would not be so rosey and clear in Lollybrach.

 ( read the books)  I knew I needed to touch base with my blog family, about 200 people a week read my blogs, a few follow it, and I need it, so here am I!!
  But material, a little low, so I just wanted to share my morning with you.
In my book of notes, I have a quote about God not making any of us Ordinary. We are all extraordinary, I thought that was neat. I like to feel extra special. Tim Tebow was the person who said this quote, but I dont know where it came from originally??!!
  Also while praying this morn, while making up my bed, this is what I said OUT LOUD, " I don't know why I have faith, (my son died and I think God could have helped him more and me!), but I do. Make sure my parents feel safe and secure. I think all my people are where they are suppose to be, so thank you and please, if they don't ask you, I am asking for them, keep them in the palm of your hand. Whenever you see, my Ward, tell him Iam OK, and I don't hurt as much. I don't want him to worry. I miss him everyday, and I will tell you, I think you did not answer my prayers, yet I still believe in you. God, you are a mystery and we will always talk, but losing a child, is just awful. Anyway...I have things to do, Love and look after the whole world, its big, I know, but ....we need guidance, thanks,
                                                                                B

   It is not even 11:00, my schedule is right on task. Need to check on Daddy, he is in St. Vincents Hospital, now, 84 has not been kind to him, so I keep praying!( God , are you hearing me!!) Mom is home, weak and sad, ( Mary Blackman, 8561 Moncrief-Dinsmore Rd. Jacksonville, Florida 32219, if you want to send her a card) 84 has also knocked her for a loop!!( JESUS, help us, Joseph and Mary, pass on the info)
 Few Dr. appointments to make, T and A, OBGYN and MAMMO!! need to see the Dermatologist too, get out the paints, and read a few pages, its a good day. The sun is out, bright as can be, October is here and she is beautiful, in Georgia.
   Supper is made, so I can hang back, and soak up some Joy.
   Thanks for spending some time with me
   May you connect the dots in all the right places.  

                      Quotes are from Tuesdays with Morrie, from where I borrowed the title of this blog.                                                     

Giddy, With A Little Tug

    Good Saturday morn, I wrote this blog yesterday, but it stills fits on the page, today.
       In the very early 1970's, around 72 ish, S and I lived on LaSalle Street in San Marco, near the deli.
    It was one of my favorite apartments, one of many. I remember glorious days of being young and foolish. Thrown in were some terrible heartaches, we were stupid in love, and I would pull out Jackson Browne. Boones Farm and very good pot, may have been a culprit of melancholy, or...just young love. Jackson Browne was my "Wailing Music", S, I think leaned towards Joni Mitchell, we both had our albums in categories!!! Dance, Love and misery!!! Crosby, Stills, Nash and YOUNG!! would often end up on the turn-table, into the wee hours. We really had so much fun.
 Today one of my bucket lists people, gets checked off.

 Jackson Browne, in the open air of Chastain in Atlanta, rain or shine. (looks like rain, throw out the nice hair-do!) ( but cute lavender rain clogs!!!) My heart will burst of times long ago, and find utter Joy of "right now". I think he will say, " Its good to see your smiling face tonight!" ( it will be raining,  he will not know, I will be crying my eyeballs out!) No Fountain of Sorrow, in whatever seat I am not sitting in!
  I asked Bill if he knows we are going to a concert tonight? ( he is sitting right behind me, on his computer)
"Who are we seeing?" he mumbles, not looking up. Me, "Jackson Browne, do you know who he is?" I hear nothing. " Why do I ask you to go with me to concerts?" said I. He replied, " Just to watch you have a great time!!" That is so sweet, while he is sleeping at the concert, he looks at me occasionally and shares my joy!!
   I will dance and sing to the heavens, and My Bill enjoys the ride.
      .....and when the evening rolls around
   I'll go on home and lay my body down
      ....and when the morning light
          comes streaming in...
  I'll get up and do it again....
          Amen.......
  The Pretender-JB

     

Cords and Coffee

 Taking care of your parents, when they live, not around the corner, is never easy. Certainly I am not the first child to move away from where they were born. By plane, its about a 45 min flight and a three hour ordeal, at the airport. The drive is five or six hours, and my driving skills have gone south with my eyesight. I can drive it, but I will be in a coma for a couple of days in recovery. Back hurts, legs cramp, eyes strained, and stress level is about Code Red, just getting through Atlanta! I go the back roads from Tifton, and can release the grip on the wheel. It may be a little longer, but my sanity may remain intact, by arrival.
  This last trip down, was pretty decent a drive, with my Emma driving me down, and she flew back the next day. Then at the end of my stay, I hit the road about 5am, and could not see the road, until around 8. However once the sun was up, and my music was cranked, I had a pretty sweet trip. Only twice did I feel like I was either off the road, or a semi was about to hit me, so that my friends is a huge successful trip.
  You may ask where are you going with this Bon-Bon? " No Where!" I smile as I type, my knee is throbbing, and another story arises from the ash!
  I have come to the realization that I only require two things to survive, Cords and Coffee. At least while taking daddy to doctors, and hospital visit. ( not totally true, my brother making me laugh for hours, was the cream on the top) While checking daddy into surgery last Wednesday, I gave them my name as the patient. So when they called Baron, several times, we looked at each other, like what a coincidence. Then screamed a little, and ran up to the desk, trying to explain, that I gave them the wrong name. That was my first sign of two many cords and coffee. I think I was on my fourth cup AND...I had a zip-lock bag of cords, in my purse that weighed thirty pounds. Dad could not walk to the next surgery unit, we were in the lines at Disney world, minus Mickey!!!! so I asked for a wheelchair, and person to drive him. That left me with his walker and my purse, to follow. I put my purse on one handle of the walker and I on the other handle, and off we went. Twisting and turning down several alcohol smelling hallways, when the purse took over the walker. Down I went, knees first, then wrist and almost face, to the surgery floor!!!! Now I had everyone in a white coats attention, as dad just sat there. I assured them I was OK, and continued on. I think we had increased attention in that area, due to dads limitations and my graceful way of constantly falling.( Brother man, was forced to come to the hospital to take care of sissy!) ( I wanted him there anyway) ( Tommy you should have been with us!!) ( Baby brother was in charge of mom, we have to divide and conquer)
   Dad goes back to surgery, Benjie and I begin the wait!!! I pull out my bag of cords, plugging into every outlet known to man, and charging UP!!! I had to be ready. For what , I do not know. Take photos, text mom hundreds of times, keep everyone in the loop, read my kindle, use my IPAD to do research on song lyrics about Elton John's song, Rocket man!( only my brother, Pocket Man, will get this) I told B that I think the cords, did me in. Sent the walker over, you know I will never blame my bag!! I love my purse!! Mom said, "Get rid of that purse!" NOOOOOoooooo   it was just overstocked with electronics, and cords. It was hospital ready. I know that kids now, the young people of the planet, use the term "Hooked Up!" to mean something, I think sexual?? I think we called it getting laid, but all generations have a term!! My hooked up means, a big bag of cords, that took me to the floor! but it was worth it ( I wonder if young ones can say that!! It was worth it??? Just wondering) I woke B up in the waiting room, he looked like a damn corpse with his mouth open, " Can you get me some coffee?" My drugs of choice, coffee and cords, and maybe call X-ray for a portable picture of my knee!! Honestly, life can be so very simple, at the most complex of times. I think that is how we learn to manage, survive and still find joy. ( more hospital stories to come!!) Oh and dad is home, think he left AMA, another story!! You can count on it!!

What Is That Smell?

  I am sitting here, in Florida, at my parents computer, in a cave of darkness!!(they don't turn on many lights!)
  Both of my parents, whom are 84, are not well. My daddy has colon surgery tomorrow, and I, at this time, am on duty.
 There is a smell in the air. Not the deep smell of humidity that hangs over all of Florida, but something I can not put my finger on.
 My parents home, is not where I grew up, so its not the smells of my youth. My mom does not cook anymore, so those smells are gone. The smell of Pledge and Pinesol are long gone, the heavy cleaning days, behind them. What is that smell?
  It is the smell of age and experience? Does that have an odor? Do memories retain a smell, emotions? Does peace of mind and heart smell?
  Yes, we are worried about dad and mom, maybe concerned would be a better word, yet we continue to laugh, and have a calm about us.
  I love to look at them, their pale eyes that look so far away, I think about what all they have seen, and if at this time in their life, fear rears its ugly head? The wrinkles and crippled gait, move slowly, but still forward.
 I believe I smell love. The love of a child, and her parents. The love of years gone by, and love to get us through this time of pain. Does love smell? I think it does, with every breathe we take, knowing and loving people. Loving friends and family with all the flaws highlighted, and still we love.
 What a tapestry of life these two have pieced together, I can smell it and its LOVE.

Why Was She Dancing?

  No reason.
Just alive, I guess.
                      -George Saunders


 This morning, during my second cup of coffee, I had a moment! ( I have many moments!) This thought, made me smile. " I think it is September!" thought I, out loud.
I know it is September.....but maybe I forgot....that means I was still in August and it was perfect.
I continued the talk with my self, thinking, " Gosh, I need to blog, I like to get in at least one a week, and could do three, with all my material, but I have other needs!" What haven't I shared? as of late?
     My trip with my daughter, Emma, to see Ed Sheeran, was life altering. ( she would say, "that would be everything to you mom!") (Hmmm...) Can I help it, if most things in life bring me so much happiness!?
    I could tell she was nervous, when I said, " Oh an aisle seat, now I will have more room to dance!"
I am a dancer, tap, ballet, jazz, hip-hop, fox trot, tango, slow slow slow dancing, ( like at the youth center! in our tweens) Am I a good dancer? Who would be judging me? I feel the music and let it go. Yes, Em was nervous, but with a smile. She did say something about a certain way I was holding my hands, and I explained that I was holding them up to the lord! Because "I had been to the mountain top! with Ed's music"
Seriously, I grab my heart when someone plays a guitar from his toes! This was a one man show, he took me to the aisle! and sister girl, just let me go! It helped, I think? that Mr. Sheeran said, that what he wanted most of all from the audience, was utter abandon, dance and sing as much as you want!! I looked at my child, and gave her a look, " I am so IN!" It was a beautiful night, and we ( notice I said we!, I think she! may have moved a little!)( She did sing all the songs!) were drained, with joy, as we found our way back home.
   There are some things, that don't require a reason. I think dancing and singing is one of these things, just do it! Release those pent up demons of stress, put on some music and shake your groove thang!
  Or pretend you are slow dancing, to Johnny Mathis, or Surfer Girl by The Beach Boys. I know you know the words.
  Get out of the box, and listen to Rap and Hip-Hop, there is a depth behind the beat and words, that we need to hear. Buy some tap shoes, there is nothing better, then to make some noise!!
 Two songs that I loved this summer, Cheerleader by Omi,, just so awesome and....I Can't Feel My Face by The Weekend, you have to know and hear these, and sing and dance, and think it may still be August!
Just Because.

If I Were In Charge of the World?

     I have learned many, many years ago, that I am in charge of nothing!! Not really, I think I am in charge of it all!! At least this blog, and my thoughts on the subject!
  
         If I were in charge of the world
         I'd cancel oatmeal,  ( not true, my favorite)
         Monday mornings,
         Allergy shots and also Sara Steinberg.

         If I were in charge of the world
         There'd be brighter night lights,
         Healthier hamsters, and
         Basketball baskets forty eight inches lower.

         If I were in charge of the world
         You wouldn't have lonely.
         You wouldn't have clean. ( I love clean!)
         You wouldn't have bedtimes.
         or " Don't punch your sister."
         You wouldn't have sisters.

         If I were in charge of the world
         A chocolate sundae with whipped cream and nuts would be a vegetable
         All 007 movies would be G,
         And a person who sometimes forgot to brush,
         And sometimes forgot to flush,
         Would still be allowed to be
         In charge of the world.
                                           by Judith Viorst

   Poetry comes in music and children's books, like this sweet poem, from a well read, Terrible, Horrible Day of some kids day. Do you know the book? I hope so. Alexander hopes so.

  After my last blog, where I mentioned my high school English Teacher, I pondered all she taught me.
        I learned some of The Canterbury Tales, by Chaucer.
                                 When that April, with his shovres soote
                                 The drought of March hath perced to the roote
                                             ETC..........google it, I shall not type the entire Tale!
        We had to recite lines from this jewel of a piece, and still find a date for the weekend! Did Miss Wells understand our lives!!!! Then she threw in Macbeth, for weeks on in. How could I write notes to my friends, and love Macbeth, but I did.
              I have from that class forward, hung on Shakespeare's words, To-morrow, and To-morrow, and To-morrow, creeps in this petty pace from day to day.

      Shel Silverstein, to Sylvia Plath, E.E. Cummings to Langston Hughes, Maya Angelou to Emily Dickinson,
the list is long and rich. Take the time to read something different, find your JAM, so to speak.
      September change is coming, you can feel it in the air. Now reach for a book of poetry, in the cool evening of your fall, or read a child a book. YOU ARE IN CHARGE, believe it.
   

And The Poem Reads

    Each month I try to do new things, or revisit some old joys.
    In the summer, I watch "off the beaten path" movies, documentaries that have escaped me for months. Foreign films, and many closed caption reading, thrills me.
   Come September, always moving forward, I pull out the poetry. In books and on the computer, I comb the pages, of such gifts.
                                " The breezes taste
                                   Of apple peel.
                                   The air is full
                                   Of smells to feel-
                                   Ripe fruit, old footballs,
                                   Burning brush,
                                   New books, erasers,
                                   Chalk, and such.
                                   The bee, his hive,
                                   Well-honeyed hum,
                                   And Mother cuts
                                   Chrysanthemums.
                                    Like plates washed clean ( love this line)
                                    With suds, the days
                                    Are polished with
                                    A morning haze."
                                                      John Updike

This is just a jewel, a little dated with chalk and erasers, I like to remember those objects of my affection.
Plates washed clean, and the morning polished. Poetry is heaven to my soul.

                                   " Tis the last rose of summer,
                                     Left blooming alone;
                                     All her lovely companions
                                     Are faded and gone."
                                                        Thomas Moore, 1830
To be the last rose of summer, must be such a privilege, denied to many.

                                     "September: it was the most beautiful of words,
                                      He'd always felt, evoking orange flowers,
                                      Swallows, and regret."
                                                          Alexander Theroux 1981
I love the word evoking, flowers, birds and regret. Fantastic!

I hope you September has begun with joy, and if not, find it.
My parents are very ill, and I hurt for them, and wish for miracles to come quickly to their bodies. My joy is that they have been with us, for so long.

I love that tennis begins my September, I cannot find the words to tell you how much satisfaction it bring me, but it does. Football begins with a fever, and the weather changes are small, to help me not go into shock!!

The month will bolt right past us, without delay.

Read some poetry, by the tons, feed your mind and body with things that make you grow, smile and pass on.
" How do I love thee, let me count thy ways........That is my favorite poem......do you know who wrote it?
  Thank you Miss Anna Leigh Wells, for teaching me to love poetry.....Andrew Jackson 1970