My May Muse

   David Sedaris is my muse on so many occasions. So when he recommends a book, I snap at it.
   And....he never disappoints...god bless him...an unusual character quality in a human! ( plus, if you know him, he picks up trash all over the place, every day on his daily walks!!) ( love him)

  I thought since I have not mentioned reading to my readers, that I should do so today.

 We are on countdown to The Wedding, mixed in with spring, summer, kidney stones, and concrete!
 My reading has dwindled to a couple of books a month, maybe three if I try hard, so much is going on.  Planting tomatoes, and flowers, photography and painting consume my time. If the sun is shinning, I will be near it, lathered in sunscreen, and happy as a clam! Reading will still find a way, and what a delight to have two good books to tell you about.

  The Undertaker's Daughter by Kate Mayfield and The Splendid Things We Planned: A Family Portrait by Blake Bailey

The first, I read in honor of the Cox Family. I respect anyone whose family is in the undertaker business.
I knew before I opened the Kindle!, that this was going to be a jewel.

Here are some quotes;
     * the obituaries, which my mother proofread with a  magnifying glass like Sherlock Holmes! ( Mary B)
     *My mother, intolerant of noise at any time, was perfectly suited to this line of work. ( I think I may have missed my calling)
     * He addressed most people by their first and middle names, as if to remind them of their whole selves. ( The south is forever doing this!)
     * She could beat a horse down to its knees with one of her prayers! ( Amen)
     *She has never lost her melancholy charm. ( We love melancholy in the south, dripping with sweat!!)
     * Somewhere along the line of development Evelyn made a sharp turn and never looked back!)
     * But when it comes to death, all bets are off, they come flying out of the corners, unleashing emotions that have been pent up, decorum out the window!)
     * they either combust or they are buried deep in the grave ( secrets)
      * there is nothing calm about her
      * we had an awful lot of God in our town
      * I'd felt more air circulate inside a mausoleum than in a school classroom!
I highlighted something on every page of this book, it is rich and yummy.

The second book, which I am still reading, is turning out just so darn good, below I will leave you with some pearls.....
       *cuss out his best bird dog, then pet him as he would a child.
       *The disinclination was mutual
       *who looked as though she excreted marshmallows!! ( a great line, no girl ever Poops!)
       * Weeds don't Die ( a great blog title that I will steal in the future)
       *her frantic smile dissembling some pretty complicated emotional weather
I love emotional weather in people, that is where the stories are. The south, to me, produces the best.
These are two books, that cause you to take a breath and wish that you had said it! wrote it! thought it!

Yes its summer, and so much to do, you can still bring a friend. A good book or three!

   

Throw It Into Reverse, Not Finished!

     I found another Jimi Hendrix movie/documentary on Netflix. Yes that is right, I have gone crazy about my Jimi, research continues.
     Jimi Hendrix-My Train a Commin-and our boy plays himself! This is a true story, very much like the fiction one I watched earlier in the week, but this one had music, lots of music. Its all original footage, and its wicked good.
    When you go back and look at this, you are transported in time. Then at the end when this 27 year old genius has died, you have to take pause. Mother of Jesus, 27 is young, but he lived seventy years in those few. I think he was done, I have to believe this. What he left behind, is still amazing.
   One man, a yes man, who worked for Rolling Stone said, " When Jimi Hendrix came to be, the stars were aligned. Where were those stars on that day in 1970, when he did not wake up?"

                             "The Wind Cries Mary"
                         After all the Jacks are in their boxes,
                         and the clowns have all gone to bed,
               you can hear happiness staggering on down the street,
                         footprints dress in red.

                         And the wind whispers Mary.

                         A broom is drearily sweeping
               up broken pieces of yesterday's life.
                          Somewhere a Queen is weeping,
                          somewhere a King has no wife.

                        And the wind it cries Mary.

               The traffic lights they turn blue tomorrow
               and shine their emptiness down on my bed,
                      The tiny island sags downstream
                      'Cos the life that they lived is dead.

                      And the wind screams Mary.

                      Will the wind remember
               The names it has blown in the past,
               And with this crutch, its old age and its wisdom
               It whispers, " No, this will be the last."

                      And The Wind Cries Mary.

He was a sexual toothpick of a boy, oozing magic. A poet and a charmer, who touched the guitar and it sang.
He sang to thousands and to one.
The one, being me.

                      

Purple Haze, Little Red Corvette, Lucille, and Kurt.

 The above title to this blog may baffle you, but if you are a music lover, probably not.
  Starting last week, I began a look-see into several musicians.
  Some by chance, and some by fate.
  Again, my ride, is a wild one!

  My number four son, and favorite child told me that I should watch the Kurt Cobain documentary. So when my best friend Susan was here, and she loves music like I, we started to watch. Note we watched whenever we took a breath from talking. After a few minutes, we stopped, and shook our heads at the sadness we had seen. Later in the week, I watched it again. Horror filled my heart, and wonder at his gift, left me with a strange sense of "why". I hate too many "whys", they consume me. One documentary is not enough, then I have to read three books, to help me see the big picture, and the big picture is never there. Drugs, alcohol, surrounding yourself with loser people, will never help you crawl out of the whole, yet....there is his music. Amazing.

As the week continued, I heard early in the morning, that the beloved B.B. King died. He lived a long life, so I was not sad, I was so happy that I had seen him live, and he had lived in my lifetime. His Blues could lift you up or take you down in a minute. My guitar gently weeps, as George would say.

Then I got to thinking about all the guitar genius people that I love, and on top of the list is always and forever, Jimi Hendrix. I combed Netflex and found a new film about him, so my research began. It was an enjoyable movie, in showing his shy self, however it never showed his prowess on the guitar. It was his early years, and his playing was always better then the best, I just wanted to hear the songs of my heart.
His sexual being, played by Andre Benjamin, was nice. I think Jimi's sexual tension, was probably palpable, and for sure electric! and people that was without the guitar plugged in. Jesus, he was a master, and drugs were his master. So happy to live in his lifetime, and have his music. My heart is full of Joy!

I finally. I think its Saturday, settle down and turn on the telly and, PRINCE is on , in Purple Rain!

I look around the room, to see if anyone can figure out, why I am having these wonderful experiences with all these greats. From acoustic with Kurt, Blues with B.B. and Lucille, Jimi at Monterey, then Prince! Holla at your girl, this has been a week of guitar playing giants, pioneer singers with their own style, and they are mine!! Well, they have been with me all week, it has been lovely and I am purely drained.
 You can only handle so much great music, said who?
  I am going to crank out some as soon, as I purge my love on my blog.
  Music heals me, thrills me, consumes me, music is me! My soul sings, and this week has been filled UP!
 

In The Hood!

  Yes, I count my self in the Motherhood group of people.
   It is the only occupation that never lets you go,. Motherhood is a life sentence, in many ways. Good,bad, happy, sad and all other emotions known to man.
                                Motherhood: All love
                                begins and ends there.
                                               Robert Browning

 It is a roller coaster ride, with funnel cakes and vomit!!
 A hurricane and a cool breeze.
 Magic and mayhem.
 Mother's Day is ours, and I love it.

My life as a mother, is very wacky. You see I have been so lucky to be so many kinds of mothers.
A stepmother to Brian and Keith, a birth mom to Ward and Hart and an adoption momma to Queen Emma.
Five bright, cute, odd, loving humans, I have had the privilege of molding! Loving them, fighting with them, watching them grow, hoping they took all my good parts, and trashed any bad. They are wonderful adult people, who call me Bonnie and Mom and two little ones that I mother, call me Uma!

I also am a mom of grief. We lost our Ward, almost 8 years ago. At the age of 25, his time on earth was over. He lived his full life, and I do not understand his departure. His love remains with me, and I still mother him. I mother his memory, and speak his name daily. So as happy as Mothers Day is, it is also, broken in places that will not heal.

I choose to live my life in a place of Joy, even through unspeakable pain, it is joy that I search for and find.

I remember when I was first pregnant and felt a flutter, I laid on the floor for hours, hoping to feel it again.
Bill came home from work, and asked me what was I doing.
I just laid there, quiet and pointed to my abdomen. He came over, knelled, put his hand where I was pointing, and smiled. I yelled, " Do you feel it! Its like fairy wings!" ( note we, had not been married very long! maybe four months!!!!!) My new husband said, " Please don't tell me you believe in fairies!" ( here comes the chemist talking!)
I stay quiet, " OK, maybe angel wings!!!!)
Who is this stranger talking, " Angels?"
"Yes I believe in all these things, Tinker Bell and Angels We Have Heard On High!" move over Princeton grad, there is a new MOM in town, and I feel a flutter!!! and its the best thing that has ever happened to me, so it has to be Holy and Magic, Jesus and Disney!
Then I became sick......
I craved tuna fish sandwiches with sliced apples on it!
I had August babies, so my feet looked, well if you are a mom, you know!!
Adopting a child, the feeling is just as intense, but my feet looked nice!
Being a Stepmom is not as quick, the love, but when it comes....it is as if you birthed these children.
and again my feet remained cute, big plus!!

Its the best, nothing can prepare you for that kind of love.
And never in a million lifetimes, is a mom ever at peace with the loss of a child.
I would do it all again, Keith, Brian, Ward, Hart and Emma, you are my joy.
You gave me Mothers Day, forever.
 

Life Is A Series Of Fat Tuesdays And Ash Wednesdays!

      Last weekend we were in, the mosquito incubator, of the world. Florida also may hole the title, its that Satan's humidity that they love. AND..since we are talking about Satan....I love the humidity also! Mosquitoes don't bite me, or my father, I think our skin is so tough, they go to the next person! Oh, I forgot to tell you, we were in New Orleans, for a Bridal Shower. ( If you read my blogs, which you should, you could connect the dots) We roamed the square, and the air had a little chill in it, but the sweat began to pour.
    I'm convinced that is why people drink so much in these places. One to stay hydrated, ( I think alcohol is not a hydrating beverage! Just go with my story!) and the other to survive.

   I love the people in New Orleans, they are creative ( again could be alcohol?), I love the buildings, and the food is over the top delicious. They eat crayfish, which I think is like a minnow, it needs to be thrown back, However if you catch enough, they can make a yummy dish, when added to tons of other things.
 Along with hooch, hot sauce runs through their veins. Another of my favorite things. When you think about it, why eat hot things, in a hot place? Only answer, alcohol!

   Seafood is abundant, as it should be, Louisiana is like a drainpipe for the States, water flows down, and the state is below sea level, way below! Lordy do they have seafood, their front and back yards is under water!
  I think I forgot to mention music, my heavens, they have music that wails. The Blues, the horns, the soul of the city of New Orleans, is music. Street music, bar music, Jazz festivals, it blares from the open windows of the French Quarter. Mystery, Music and Pleasure walk the streets, and a party is had by all.
  The art work is rural, and extreme, honest and alive. I saw a wooden sign that said, "Life is a series of Fat Tuesdays and Ash Wednesdays!" and that about wraps it all up nicely.
  Voodoo, and Jesus, live hand and hand. I like my voodoo dolls, wearing a cross, sitting next to Mary and the baby, I feel protected from chickens and Satan!

   It is a melting pot, of history and the pains of mother nature.
   I hope you get to see it, and feel it, and should her some love.
   You will come away changed, not always for the better ( choices!) but changed.
   The city is alive, and owns a piece of my heart. 

Country, Rap, and Jesus

      Yes, that is what my one and only daughter Emma said. While trying to locate radio stations on our trip from Atlanta to New Orleans, the queen spoke, " Country, Rap and Jesus, that's all they have!" And me, being me, said  " Well we are covered!" and (I have lost track of the sentence!!!!) she hollered " I know you will use that in a blog!" ( How right you are princess and the pea size stone!)
     Each day is so exciting, so much material waiting for me to write about or paint, or photograph!! I lead a charmed life.
    We, Emma and I, were headed to a Bridal Shower, for my favorite son and his chosen one. We had decided to stop in Mobile to stay with favorite cousin Leigh-Leigh, and break up the journey. Plus we wanted a " Spend da nite" party. Little did I know, that we were going to hell in a hand-basket, but I should have known! We had already visited the ER earlier in the week, for Emma and her stones. So by Thursday evening, we were due for another ER trip. Alabama hospital here we come, with Emma Screaming, Leigh praying and dialing numbers, and me, quiet. My cuz, has no children of her own, but she owns all of ours! She is the true mother of all. We screech into the hospital lot, and "Rambo Nurse Ratchet", RNR, went in taking no prisoners. The little guy behind the check in counter said there were no ER beds, and RNR whipped out her phone, " Do you know, Iam the director of student nurses at South Alabama?" and little man began to spin. A crew of people came , gurney in hand, to my Emma, as if she had Ebola! Back she went. Of course, with us in tow, until they said, mom only. So I went back and called Leigh, Text.....I need a phone cord, come on back....#crazymom.....she bounced past the guard, and the nurse looked at us, and at Emma , speaking softly, " OH, OK" I looked at Leigh and said, " She thinks we are married, and have adopted this child from India!"......" We are Lesbian cousins, married in Alabama!" The screaming began, we laugh VERY LOUD, and LONG! I know they had flogged the chart with a red flag! We went from warrior moms, to crazy moms in less then sixty seconds! We started to attract an audience. We were doubled over, and wanted Ems meds! How can I explain to you, the reader, that my cuz took a plastic vomit bag, and extended it to look like, well.....she got my attention, " This is King Kong's Condom" and " How did it end up here in our room!" I think she examined it very closely, because she then said, " The King has cum/come!" Was she talking about Elvis? or still The Kong, we were loopy. Then this Doctor came in, to comfort us, and do some explaining, in a language unknown to man. It was as if he were playing Hamlet, or King Arthur in Camelot, very strange way to describe the urinary tract! I hung head, to not let him see me laughing, then Leigh let it rip, Howling laughter.  She, in her southern way said, " Oh, we are so sorry, we are just GONE!"
( do all people know what GONE means?" Then she continued with, " Oh, you know, we are punch drunk happy!" ( Now I know we are in need of a translator!)
  Emma mumbles, " Could you understand him!" and we started all over again, done GONE!!!
  After arriving back at her palace, RNR said, " This always happens on trips, holidays and vacations."
  I lifted my head off the bed, and spoke, " Yes, I often plan a hospital visit, in each state. At least a drive by on a road trip, makes for a good story, as long as I have you Leigh!"
   Next day, we drove on to New Orleans and I received a text...Tornado warning in NOLA, Cuz, what the heck is happening?" I forgot to tell her, that I also like a tornado thrown in every now and then.
   I looked over at Emma,( I had to drive, she was drugged up, after passing that stone!) and said, " Put me on some Jesus music, this is going to be a longgggggg weekend!"
   More to follow......... 

Imagation Is Its Own Form Of Courage-Frank Underwood!

     Yes, I am quoting Frank Underwood. To be sure, he is a famous politician, in my imaginary world.
Bill and I have been watching House Of Cards, and looking across the room at each other, with crazy in our eyes!! I think this is the real politics, or pretty near. I trust no one, like no one, and think we are all going to hell in a hand-basket! Politics is such a hot mess button, in any conversation and with this new Presidential election coming down the pike, I am pulling the plug.
     At 62 years of age, that would be me, ( Emma, only daughter, says I am 63 or 65? lord...daughters!) can not handle all the igno's  ( ignorant people) that will be posting all over Facebook, twitter, 24 hr news, and Dr. Phil! I don't have the energy and time, to educate people and/or excuse them, of bad choices. I think I still believe in the two party system, but I have doubts.
   Yes, I am a bleeding heart liberal, whatever that means. I love my party and all that it stands for. Yes I will likely vote for Mrs. Clinton, ( future Golda Meir) even though she looked the other way alllllllllll these years. Yes I would vote for Bill Clinton again also, I care nothing about a persons sexual partners, if they can run the country. Do I trust Hillary? as much as I trust Frank Underwood!  I trust my party, and that is what makes the two party system. I assume that if you are the Other party, you feel the same way, you stand by your choices and your party. I repeat, I seem not to be able to change your position, so I will have to let you go your own way. Is there not some verse, that says something about good intentions?? and paved with something? I suppose you think your system works, I just think it works for the rich people, and I have a problem with that. Your party has a problem with gay marriage, or maybe even gay people?? I would support a gay president, a transgender, a Jewish Rabi, and an atheist. If they were strong, and kept us out of wars, and people had jobs, and women made an equal amount of money for the same job! For the love of Jesus, why is that such a hard concept??? I believe in Ellis Island, and The Statue of Liberty, we are a nation of people from all over the world. We can not close the gates, it will not work. Its not who we are. We are different, we are loving people, we are smart and good and kind, we are not House of Cards Crazy, or we are? I will not debate this any longer, I will work on myself, to make me the best person I can be.
  I will distant myself from Facebook for a spell, post my blogs, a few pictures here and there, but my political views, not going to happen. You know me, you know my beliefs, I know yours.
   My form of courage is to step away for awhile, I will be downstairs painting and sending loving thoughts out into the universe daily.
                                             PEACE