We Keep Trying To Square The Circle-John Avlon-2020

    People, this has been a year. As Dolly Parton has said, " I like to be Ambulance ready!!" (full make up to bed!!)

    I don't have that much to say, which may be a first. The holidays, are hard and the times are stirring the pot. 

    The election process, and one side is always so angry. I finally feel relief, when another may feel despair.

    People all over the world, are hurting from being sick with a new virus, to being sick from unemployment. Hunger, worry, Covid!! is hard to work your Ho, Ho, Ho around. 

    I have to confess, that I do not mind being house bound. I enjoy my husbands company and since March, my mothers company, she now lives with us. Now I also have to say, mom and I have not lived together in 50 some odd years, so we are learning how each of us are as adults. AND we are both old people. We feel good to know she is safe, and feed and sometimes amused, but it has been a big adjustment for all. The shoes are also on the others feet, I am the one telling her what she should be doing, I often feel like the mom, who says NO!!! Luckily we laugh and learn, and thank god for all our blessings, crazy antics and all!!

We both watched Sunday morning this am, with an interview with Paul McCartney. I had tears in my eyes (which is unusual, I don't cry) and mom said, " He still has IT, Bonnie." I smiled, because we both knew what It she was talking about. This 78 year old Beatle, had my heart at 11, and he still holds it with both hands on the guitar. There are no words, for me ever to explain The Beatles in my life, and probably none in mom's remembering them through my eyes. I wrote Paul a letter once, and told him, I would make him a good wife. I never mailed it, but remember every word. My love flowing onto the piece of lined paper, with childlike innocence, and almost teenager angst.

  Mom wondered, out loud, about his mother's feelings, and if she had a good pregnancy with this angel child. I told her, that was not on my mind AT ALL!! She was thinking about his mother, and my thoughts were, GOD he looks good for an old man, and I love him!!! 

 We are very different people, and we laugh.

    This book I am reading right now, Greenlights, by Matthew McConaughey is delightful. Eccentric, educated, philosophical, insane and just beautiful. In a Dazed and Confused way of Matthew. Alright, Alright, Alright. He has found out my living that, Travel and Humanity are his greatest educators.

During this past year, I have missed travel, and I am forever thankful for what travel has taught me.

All people should leave their comfort zone and travel, near and far. You do not know human beings until you see how people live, all over the world. It is a must do. So when we can travel again, by plane, train, boat or bus, Go somewhere new and soak up other cultures, food, and history. Also during all this isolation, even moderate homebound, Educators, and my belief in humanity have taught me soooooo much. Doctors, teachers, parents, friends, musicians, preachers, homeless people, artists, family, neighbors. This semi down time, not thinking about fear and horror, I have loved remembering all who have helped me be the best person, with room to grow.

  So I hope as this year ends, we do not look back with regret, but with lessons, and love and kindness to a year that taught us many things.

  The baby in the manger, is ours, we are his, all people are connected and family, and somehow maybe near to knowing Kevin Bacon!!

  Merry Christmas, keep the lights up a little longer and maybe stop trying to square the circle.

 

I Was Snow White, but....I Drifted...

The title of my blog on this December day is from, the anointed, Mae West. However I think I heard it repeated on a you tube talk by Charlie Mackesy.

This past week, I have listened and read everything I can locate about this man.

One of my dear friends, sent me his book, for the winter season of Covid. I hope you all have a copy, The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse. He, Mr. Charlie, is...….magic? Gifted, flawed, darling, wise, a character in a Dickens movie, a writer, an artist, kind, crass, a delight, he invites you in.

He was interviewed on The Sunday Morning program, last week, I think, or a couple of weeks ago, not a big deal when!! I fell in love with every hair on his head, every word that came out of his mouth, and his heart. In a matter of seconds, I needed to know more. Then during the week, one of buddies, said " Oh Bonnie needs to read this book!" and in my mail it was. I had ordered two for gifts, so maybe you will be on the receiving end also. Every human needs Charlie Mackesy. Go to You Tube, he has several little talks about himself and his lack of religion, only to find Jesus, latter in his life. He tells a tall tale about many things, his description of the Nativity, in real words, life changing. Did you know we were all invited to the nativity!!?? Well, we were, with the lowly shepherds, invited to his birth. We are so loved, who doesn't love to be loved?? We received the invitation to the birth of the baby, animal smells and all. Mary knew, she knew, we all wanted to be there.

Charlie, the boy, mole, fox, and horse, we are invited to sit with them. Hear their words, and pass it on.

I oscillate between depression and joy, on a daily basis. It is a tight rope, that I know others may be on, also.

My grandchildren, give me the most unbridled joy, in the simple act of being themselves.

I had a silly photo of Finn this week, wearing my Florida face gear I sent him, because his Uma, that's me, wants her babies to go to SEC schools!! Adrian called for Grandpa to help him with hard Science, knowing his Uma, will only do Literature, Art history, History, and Music!!!! I reminded this child, that he has the most beautiful hair and eyes, I have ever seen. Love my Boson Babies, and then there is Wyatt, love everything he does!! Good, Bad, wild, calm, I want to bottle up his energy, and remind him that he is perfect. I love all my children, but these grandchildren are straight up, wonderful!! Do they misbehave, heck yes, who doesn't, but they too were invited to the nativity!! They are loved, and pinched and patted, and rubbed, kissed and fill me with Joy.

Mr. Charlie, needs to write a book about them, or maybe just read my words.

Take a moment to watch things around you, pay attention, to good and bad. Be Rad!! ( thank you Maria)

Dance and sing to your hearts content, and fall out, if you need too.

Love wins, yesterday, tomorrow, and right this minute.

PSSSSSS....Do not read Lenny Kravitz book, not all who sing and look gorg, can write. God Bless him.

love,

b

I am Starved

Happy Thanksgiving Day, even though that was not a happy day for the Native Americans. I don't think there was peace or a piece shared.

We celebrate being thankful, and that should be an everyday motto, but here we are.

Cooking and eating, like we are headed to the electric chair!! The smells of Thanksgiving, are wonderful, so whom ever made up the holiday, I thank some part of you.

I have two things going in the oven, as I type, and that is not a good thing. I have two timers set, and the beloved is asking me about Zoom!!! Multi task like you raised five children, Bonnie. ( Now I'm talking to myself via the keys on the keyboard!) ( Do they have zoom shrinks? if needed??)

Last week, or not I saw something on TV about The Royal Ballet in London, putting on a ballet show. A one night gig, but they did it, and I was starving!!! I tape everything, just in case of these moments, I needed to watch this, thing of beauty, several times over. I called the doctor hubs in, come watch this with me, as I held my hand to my heart. Look at those point shoes, the leotards, the tulle, the fingers, the hand on her back, the legs, OH MY GOD!!!I am starving for the ballet!! The Opera, A concert, A play on Broadway or Atlanta!!!! I need art in many forms, and not for a snippet of time!! I need The Nutcracker, followed by Hamilton (original cast). I watched some of the turkey day parade on the telly this morn and I got HIGH!!! on people lip synching. (Going to go check the stove, hope this is still here when I get back) OK, needs five more minutes!!

When I was beginning to cook Thanksgiving yesterday, the smells in my house were delish, I was starving for warm, comfort, turkey food smells!!

I need to sit in a pew, at church, and hear the organ.( maybe the message also)

I miss friends, family and ordinary life.

BUT as I remind my brother on a daily basis, Adaptation!!

We learn to look at the broader picture, adapt to the year in which is still going. 

Extend your stroke of the paintbrush!!

Be happy and grateful, and give without ceasing.

The sun is shinning, my mother is doing pretty good, all this food is a blessing, and talking to you or this day, is awesome.

Damn, Alexia just told me to take out the pumpkin pudding, DONE!! Now uncover the dressing, and look at the turkey, and four more sides to cook. They are ready, I just have to throw them in!! and our Thanksgiving is small, five adults and one angel child.

I will leave you with one of my brothers everyday language quotes!! While watching football a couple of weeks back, he said, " That is a lot of beef on the hoof!" I fell over, I replied, " Is that your way of saying this guy is kinda large!!!" We are starving for laughter, and love people, change your day, and some other persons day. For that I am Thankful, Another Day. ( Benjie would say, you forgot to say above ground!!) 

Love

B    ( any mistakes are left in on purpose) ( like a puzzle for you to fix on this glorious day) ( You are welcome) ( Think like a Monk)

Pick Your Hard!! quote from my brother!!

  The election is almost over, or just beginning, I may be in purgatory.( thank you Marie S. Anderson)

I think Mr. Biden has won, but Mrs. Clinton had won also, but you didn't see her in the Big House either.

My PTSD election blues, are hard to shake.

 Joe Biden is calm, and older, and seasoned. He will be fine, and he is not Trump!! I admit it, my postman, could have been a write in, if necessary. The republican party has some fixing to do. They stood by this despot, and went along for the bad ferris wheel!!

I hope we, the democratic people who voted, will not disappoint you, the other half. I know you will have a sting of loss, a close loss, and its not fun. We are good people, who want good things for all people.

Some of us are even conservative swinging, and pro life people. ( ok, don't put me in with that group, but I do believe in the what works for you, is not my business!!) ( So I can listen to you, with an open mind and heart.

John Avalon, whom I may think is a hero, said, " Donald Trump would rather ruin, if he cant rule,"

Please don't unleash this hate that was stirred up, please put out your hand to shake.

I am not even sure at this minute, who will be president, I just need them to be The President of All People.

Now on a lighter note, if there is such a thing.

My brother Benjie is here, and he always makes me laugh. We were watching ESPN sports this am, when I thought I saw Jesus at a football stadium. I said, " What the heck, is on TV, a mirage of the lord!"

Benjie, " No, that is touchdown Jesus, they are at Notre Dame!!"

"NOOOOOAh, are you telling me, that they leave this statue up?" Ben, hollered, "Yes!"

"Are you kidding me, Mother Mary of Jesus, I'm so sorry, that they(whoever they are) can put your baby boy up, holding touchdown arms, and not think this is tacky!"

I know people pray for football, but let that be in your heart!! Witness your love, another way, not touchdown Jesus!!! I may have to up my meds, Benjie just told me a passenger on a airplane, threatened to pee on the cabin helper ( what do they call them anymore) Help!!!

I remain filled with love and hope, and realize I control so little, and My Benjie would say, " Pick Your Hard, Bon!"

Abundant Sunshine

 This dark (time change) morning, my beloved said, " The weather is calling for abundant sunshine."

 At 4am the brain cells, are just stretching and I mumbled, " Did it really say that?"

Hubby says, "Yes"

I smiled over my bed head, " That is the best news, I have heard in days!"

Side note, he failed to mention, it was witches titties cold!! 

Its Abundant Sunshine, that is a beautiful thing.

My hair is falling out, I have hives, my mom is in hospital, the election is on the fritz and violent people are oozing out of the seams of  America. I may be a tad stressed, but I have an Abundant Sunshine Day. Wanda Canupp Wunder use to say "Blue Sky Days" when she could go to the beach, to sun and fish.

I miss her special ways.

Mom is OK-ish, weak, breathing issues, walking issues, just stuff we are working on. Covid makes all the places that can help her, a death trap, so its scary. She may have graduated from our care, but we are hoping she can come home soon, to our normal. Mom, if you are reading this, do your exercises for your legs, and be extra sweet to your nurses and doctors. We are always blessed, remember that. We love you, and will talk later.

Mother and I have had 9 months of heavy chatting going on, we crack up everyday!! Laughter heals, she cries a  lot, but I have no tears left. ( after my son Ward died, no more tears are in my body)

I think mom still has work to do on this earth, so get better Mary, your room is waiting.

One thing during October that we discussed at length, is always daddy/Homer/Sonny/Uncle Homer.

I was the first born, and Trudy ( sister) came real soon after. She was very sick, and mom had to really concentrate on her. Well guess who that left me with!! Homer!! At the early age of around 3, he decided to introduce me to horror movies. I new Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi before I knew the name of our preacher at Anderson. I knew every part of a car, and how to polish a car, before my six birthday!!!

I knew that Cowboys and Indians were a religion in our house, we had shrines.

Walt Disney, was another human, that may have walked on water.

Golf, Football, I could have coached by the age of 10.

History, music, poetry, geography, quotes of the world, I was daddy's sponge. Then came the boys, Benjie and Tommy, and I had discovered boys, so we could part ways, so to say.

He was a born story teller, and artist with no filter, or ability to tolerate stupid.

Lucky for me, mom jumped in for the girlie stuff, taught me all about Thank You Notes, and not showing your britches!! They were two very different people, that worked well together, and gave us the best. Now I have had some, one on one time, with Mary, that has been pretty neat.( wish she felt better) 

I have had an abundance of  minutes with both of my parents, and for that I am grateful.

Back to this beautiful day, a random thought I had to share with Bill, and he laughed out loud.

Its dark in the den, and its early, crap news is on, and I say, " You know I really love Bandaids and Big Plastic Nativity Scenes in the yard." " I just felt the need to share this information with this person to whom I have been married to for 40 years!!!  He was laughing, " I learn something new about you every day Bonnie."

Thank you Homer and Mary, I have turned out to be pretty neat. A tad off center, and will always make you proud.

Rafa and Clay

 I have just spent two weeks in Paris, in October. Match after match of tennis, supreme.

Martina Navratilova woke me up early, EARLY, with a familiar voice, and wisdom of a winner.

She looks at tennis like a science/math problem, it was fascinating to hear her describe each point.

Johnny Mack came in for the finals and brought us New York with a swag. The petulant young man, has aged with wit and perfection. Paris at any season tugs at my heart, I saw a bakery and smelled it through the telly. All the streets, and I think I saw my bench outside the Louve. 

The color of clay courts, the rust of skill and practice, I can not explain, it is love. ( not the love =zero)

   Keeping busy these days, with fear hovering. I hate thinking about this vile virus, and horrific hate simmering in this storm. My brother and I had to agree not to discuss politics, my left and his center, are very far apart. Me being the oldest,I still have to ability to choke him, but love wins!! I will love him, and maybe pinch him very hard!!!!

  Iam reading this great book, How to Think Like a Monk, or is it Live Like A Monk, I will have to look it up. Wait a minute. It's Think Like A Monk, by Jay Shetty.

   These times call for all kinds of reading, and this is a good one. 

Years ago, Mother Mary and I went to meet and greet some Monks at St.John's Cathedral in Jacksonville, Florida. ( my home church) ( also First Methodist) ( Also Anderson Methodist) ( All home churches) Brother John, I think was his name, was very young and handsome, with his brown robe and rope belt!!! My mind may have been wandering, but I listened, and he spoke so calmly. He had a glow, honestly( and I may have had other ideas) ( I was young) ( maybe early twenties) ( Hormones)

I was already in love with The Dean, I think I have a thing for robes, and calmness!!

Well, that little story is why I am reading this book, mom, who is living with us now and I talk about everything under the sun and clouds. We were laughing about Brother John, and she reminded me of my question to him. I may have.....asked him, didn't he want to have a family and love interest?? He said he was married to Jesus, or some crazy thing, and I may have said, " Really??"

  OK, back to the book, we need to hear Martina's voice, A monk's journey, and Jesus, to help us, through this 2020 year.

Here are some of the lines, I highlighted.

1. No matter what you think your values are, your actions tell the real story.

2. When we tune out the opinions, expectations, and obligations of the world around us, we begin to hear ourselves. LISTEN PEOPLE TO YOURSELF, last four words were mine.

3.What is the value in your choice?

4. There are always more ways to be pulled up than to be pulled down.

5. Comparing, Complaining, Criticizing, Cancers of the mind.

6.Do not give your attention to what others do or fail to do; give it to what you do or fail to do.

7. In my experience, nobody wakes up and thinks, How can I be mean today?( are you sure, Brother John) ( OK, this is not Brother John but I still have him on my mind!!)

8. Bad things do Happen.

9. Don't count the teeth in someone else's mouth!!

10. But Monks believe that when it comes to happiness and joy, there is a seat with your name on it.

I will end there.

I am thinking about candy corn right now, Brother John, Rafa, the color of clay, and all of you wonderful people. 

Enjoy whatever you find, to bring you peace, happiness, and read this book.

Love in October

B

Cashmere and Converse-Daniel Levy

  Currently looking at a grand spider web out my window. All of a sudden, spider webs are all around. Maybe they were always there?? I think I would have seen them. They fascinate me, glad I am not afraid of the little creatures. ( Thank you Charlotte)

  No I will not be watching the presidential debate, I have been nauseated for almost four years, I may be for four more, I don't know?? All I know is I have my ballot in hand, and some holy water, prayer beads, and Neil Young playing in background, signing my name for my party. The platform I believe in and have worked for all my adult life. I will think of Ruth, with a grateful heart, as I vote.

I will think of Policemen, and victims of racial injustice, hoping both can change for the better. We need our police educated, paid more, and changed!!! We need to look at Black Lives Matter, because they do. The color of your skin should never be an issue, EVER. Actions do speak louder, but so often color comes into view first. NOT OK, we are all humans, every color, religion, breath we take, gender!! Equal love, respect, helping each other, positive living, working hard to do better and be better. I sign my ballot for you!! I sign my ballot for me!! I wear a mask for you!! I wear a mask for Me!

Listen to your heart, and the scientist, news media, be careful.

This is not road scholar information, this is human smart, fair, kindness, equal rights, body rights!!

For the love of Baby Jesus, vote. 

I will accept the peoples vote, even if it is not my own, and continue to fight until my last breathe, for my beliefs. I have the hope of change, real hope, but I did the last election also, and defeat is not fun. It just made me work harder. I see a new cup, not half full, or half empty, but with a different liquid in the cup!! A cup overflowing with joy, hard work, changes, courage, strength, a strong wind blowing the last few years of hatred away. Teachers getting paid for their worth, doctors and nurses, policemen, firemen, military people, Honored and respected, for doing good. AND if you are the bad seed in any profession, you gotta go, Preachers, Teachers, Politics, all working people, ALL weed out the bad. 

I could continue, but I have lost my rant  of thought. Lucky for you!!

I will tell you that I heard a quote, as usual, forgot to write where I heard this jewel, but jewel it is!!

" She is Dracula with a blowout!!!" You can borrow anytime, this season of BOO!!! It cracked me up. ( I know who it was used for, but I am trying to be better!!) ( or I totally don't remember the who, when and why?? and it just cracked me up anyway!!)

Just like the title of my blog, we are all Cashmere and Converse, and Shitt's Creek is a fantastic show, thank you Nancy and BA for turning me onto it many years ago.

Happy Sunday in September, spiders and all!!!

Bring Back Lawrence Welk-Jim Gaffigan, Sunday Morning News

In a conversation, of the comic variety, Jim Gaffigan spoke of living in the 1950's, NOW!!

We are all in Covid cooking frenzy, everything, farm to table, scratch. Some have even brought out the Cleaver PEARLS!!!

Children under foot, for months on end, puzzles and board games galore. Desi and Lucy may be on the tube. All that is missing is Lawrence Welk!! Bubbles and Big Band Music, Yes, don't tease me.

1 Nanny ( yes, I did have a 2 Nanny), with Mr. and Mrs. Norman (Noni) watched Mr. Welk every Saturday night for years. The Lennon Sisters were my JAM!!! Even as a little girl, they would all tell me, which singer would make me a good husband!! You do realize, I was maybe 6, through high school, yes I still watched it!! There was some young blond singer, that was the winner. I told them, he was not my type. When Grandmother told me, "Well he looks just like Edward McClamma, and you love him!!" I reminded her, in a gentle way, ?? !!, " Gran, that is private information!" 

Yes, bring back Lawrence.

 Also, another couple of quotes, that I had the good fortune of stumbling upon, I will share.

" Smells like Icy Hot and Cruelty!!", Lemon Breeland, Hart of Dixie, Netflex. May be my favorite line of all time.

Also since in this house of horrors, 2020 continues, I was lucky to watch the US Tennis championship, with unbridled joy. Johnny Mack was commentating about a young mans second serve being so bad, when he offered some advice, " Get the first serve in, then you don't need to worry about the second one!!" I hollered, Yes Johnny, a life lesson for real!!!

I love tennis more than air, and this open, was fantastic.

Honestly I have so many notes, but can not connect the dots these days. All is well, reading an autobiography of Alice B. Toklas by Gertrude Stein. I feel like I am in Paris surrounded by all things that make me happy. 

I think we are still in September, itching to decorate for fall, and Christmas, all at the same time. Its an Idea!! 

Love the one you are with, and maybe another.

Peace, Vote, and pray for fires to finish, so much heartache, bring me Lawrence!! 

I Have Lost My Voice

My voice is still, quiet, softened, lulled, slacken, gone.

I have become very withdrawn during this covid/political.

Idle hands, not so much.

Busy hands and mind, just no voice.

( my mom, husband, and kids, would beg to differ)

BUT....

I feel it.

AND....

This is not my jam!!!

What is there to say?? 

I am the writer of my narrative, my story, but it has become quiet.

The things I would like to say, are strong and loud, and fall on deaf ears. Plus I am older, and the fight left in me, is also different. (You know I blame the weather for everything!!) ( I feel it in the air, its changing!!) ( and I have two people living inside of me!!) ( Summer and Winter!!) ( Sybil times two)

I could tell you what I have cooked, painted, read, watched on the telly, however, it seems small, with what is going on in the world.

I am so thankful beyond coffee, that I love myself. So many humans are in such a discontent with themselves!! Lord, thank you for me. Flaws and all, wrapped up crazy good, still learning, grown woman, who thinks she is 16!!!

Mom told me this Sunday morning, to write about napkins!!! ( Love my mom)

I told her that was great, they make me very happy. I have many, many cocktail napkins, seasonal and not, that bring me joy!! I place a few new ones on mom's breakfast tray every few days. She saves them, and sends them to her friends!! We pass on our napkin love!! ( Mom writes about three letters a day!! Snail mail, fun stuff)

Today's napkin was a flamingo, wearing a flower crown, and you open it up and more flowers everywhere!! Mom kissed it, and held it to her heart! We both agreed it was a good one, we even liked the texture of the paper!!! We are funny people. I like to thank Nan and Brooks Hayes, for teaching me to always put out a cute napkin, at night, to get ready for coffee in morn. Cups ready, spoon, sugar or sweet n low, and a pretty napkin underneath. I thought the gesture was so sweet, I borrowed it, and still use it to this day. Now I have giving mom the idea, our eyes just need to wake up to sweetness. ( I will try and take a picture of some of them, or send you one!! just because!!

I still am rather quiet, but my fingers are working, so you can hear me.

These moments are very different, change, of any kind, is hard. Throw in a virus and a clown, and I have had to pause!! Take deep breaths, and pull out the napkins!!!

August is walking away, and I still have so much to say.

Right now, silence is pretty sweet.

You Row Forward, Looking Back

I need a litany, a rosary, a sutra, a mantra, a war chant, to get me through each day. I wake up, asking Jesus to make me an instrument of peace, and its fleeting!! These are very disorienting times.

As always a few things, surprise me, delight me, amaze me, and sustain me. Thankfully.

A lone beautiful apple, dinner with entire crew, the back door open, sunshine, rain, books, visits with mom and beloved Bill, Wyatt reminding us all to enjoy this moment of toddler time, ( run on sentence makes me happy also!)

Smells of my perfume from France, and Jo Malone, both with mimosa and cardamom infused.

A sharp pencil, and new watercolors, a finished painting and one ready to do, clean sheets, and my cleaning family that has been with us over 20 years.

The Obamas, Michelle's speech, last night at the DNC, caused me to fist bump the air, and have a moment of clear headedness, ( is that a word)

Glad Bill and I are retired and able to care for mamasita in our home.

Reading BackLash, pausing between paragraphs, to check my heart and mind. To make sure I am a good human, and have taught my children to do right in the world. To remember that being quiet, keeps the sustainable racism going. My actions, are important, words, thoughts, will be heard. I hope everyone reads this book, stays with it, knowing it will, maybe, make you uncomfortable, hopefully. It is a must read. 

Mary Trump's book, not a must read, because I knew almost all the information about the man and his family. I guess that is why I was surprised that anyone that I knew, could vote for him. Placing him in this office revealed so much, and its not pretty. I read the book anyway.

No one knows how the election will turn out, I just am thankful to live in a country that I can express my thoughts and you are free to yours. Homer use to always say, " Bon, are you happy with the person, you see in the mirror?" 

Yes daddy, I am.

Brainpickings on FB is a wonderful site, I can not praise it enough.

Its free, you can donate if you choose, and its spirit lifting. If you like poetry, literature, artist, smart interesting thoughts. ( has helped me, in this covid solitude)

Also Chefs Table, on Netflex, ( I think that's the name)

 continues to fill me up!!!! It is total meditation about food, and our relationship with it. Fantastic.

Also hope you get to watch, CNN( I think) United Shades of America, by  Kamau Bell. All seasons, but this one now, is mind blowing, and important to our being whole.

Lets see, I truly don't know what I was going to write about, maybe growing my hair out gray, and each day, thinking, this is not going to work!!

Oh sweet people, keep paying attention, work hard for each other, read and enjoy the last of the summer tomatoes!! There is a crispness in the air this morning, change can be hard, but necessary.

Adaptation may come in the words of Beth Dutton, or Mr. Rogers, listen to both. 

 

August Arrives

  I love the month of August.
On the very first day, each year, I celebrate being here on this planet.
Even during these strange days of germs galore, trouble in the big house, and a hurricane skirting the east coast!! I am happy, as a clam, to be another year older.
68 sounds mature, wise and charming. That is what I will choose to think. My body makes cracking sounds, with just the turn of my head!!! I think I may have some worry lines about my face, but those could also be years of extreme laughter. I just took some Tylenol to get ready for my present tonight, my 3 and half year old grandson, Wyatt the flying monkey and rodeo clown. The toddler, is spending the night, and his UMA, that's me, is ready. We will play with every toy, go up and down steps a million times, play the piano, too loud, eat all night long, and sing every song we know!! We have adventures planned, bugs to find, water to swim in, balls to kick, hit and throw. He will be asked to go to the potty 400 times, and he knows to only pee in the ivy, where snakes live!! He makes me laugh, hard and long. Happy Birthday to me. ( I wish Adrian and Finn were here to help) ( but they are probably making hot date plans with girls and their friends, out on the boat!! Uma was young once, she understands!)
All my favorite people are August people or at least summer birthday folks!! I love um, born into the heat and humidity of life, makes you different. Strong, fierce and beautiful!!! My two boys, from my body, are end of August darlings. Made your mamas feet the size of shoe boxes!!! Summer pregnant women, have sweat on top of sweat!!! My daddy, when Ward was still inside me, told me, I looked sick!! Poisoned, yellow and huge!! ( gotta love Homer for his honesty!) Two days latter daddy told me, I had the most beautiful baby boy, and maybe he would drive to Yardly to see us now!! ( I flew home)
My girl is September born, and she leans into fall weather, but we love her still. The beach is her happy place. My older two bonus sons, February, tooooo cold for babies, and June just made it into the love fest of summer. Love all my children, the best five humans around. Smart, creative, strange, loving, calm, loud, and awesomeness, makes my 68 feel pretty darn good. One, I survived them, and I like them, so much!!
This whole blog was suppose to be about my beloved freedom fighter, John Lewis. I went south with this story. I will tell you more about him later, after I go see his burial place, and kneel down, and thank him from the bottom of my heart. I fought hard for civil rights, for many years, I will not stop ever. I am still that young girl, fighting for equal rights for all people. I heard you John Lewis, I will continue to march on, all 68 years of Bonnie left in me.
I will end this blog, on this August hot day, with a line from Mr. Lewis funereal, LOVE becomes the way we live, we will not be quiet. OK I have never been quiet, and love fills me up!!
I will double up on Good Trouble, and look forward to how many days the good lord gives me.
August is love, you had better believe it!!!! Just ask the sun!!

Yolanda, Yogurt and Angels All Around Us

 It is a Sunday in July, and I sit here, hitting all the wrong keys.
My fingernails are so long!! Covid long! Filed and painted, by me, old school long!! Almost Hollywood, Oscar carpet walk long. I have to cut them, but not this second. Or if you are reading my blog and there is a long pause, manicure time has come early.
I miss my nail people, whom I have had for thirty years, but I am trying to be safe. Mary mom is in the house, so I am extra careful. Bill, the hubby thinks, I do a good job on my nails, but what does he know???? He is just happy to have a chunk of money back in the fold!!
Little did I realize a few months back, that I would be the one giving up all the fun stuff!!
( Not true, but a small rant may be brewing!!)

I think I will be turning 68 soon, and now have been cooking like the ghost of Julia Child!! I need restaurants to come back, or my family to embrace a smoothie!! ( I like to cook, but go with my theme here!)
I am a blessed person, even during this cacophony of people, politics and idiots.
We have been going with mom to doctors, pretty often, these days. Each time, mom and I have a look that we share with each other, like "Did you see that?" "Did you hear that? Did you feel that?
Yolanda, came into the room, with a light following her. She came to take mom's blood, and left us with her gift of joy. She had just turned in her two weeks notice and was moving to Valdosta. New job, kids were grown, needed a new church, perfectly good reasons to flee Atlanta. Yo asked mom if she was from Florida, and we asked how she knew that? YoYo told us, "Its all that gold jewelry." (Mary may sport a ton of it!! down to a toe ring and anklet!!!) We laughed, and she said we were talkers!! All Florida people are talkers, is that true? OK, maybe so, there are always stories to tell, and listen too. This beautiful, black walking, talking, probably Jesus!! left the room praying and loving us. Mom and I looked at each other, with tears in our eyes, and I said, " What the heck was that magic!!"We were healed, at least, for the day.

 Same week, different test, cat scan man and football player in the waiting room. Took us to our knees. I was a little angst at how many people were in the waiting room, even though, all masks were on. Mom had closed her eyes, all this stuff takes a lot out of her, and I just need extra meds!!!! ( may be a run on sentence, or entire story) ( my angel daughter, said I was not blogging enough!)
So I took up a conversation with this darling man child, across from me. " I see from your Tee shirt that you play for West Forsyth,  and your hair is beautiful." ( Yes, I said it, Florida people talk out loud) This bight light of a young man, and I had a conversation that needed to be video taped. We discussed the world, and I needed him to know, that I was counting on him to save us." ( his mom was beside him, on her phone) The cat scan person called his name. Mom chirped up, " I could have listened to you and that child talk all day." Holding my hand over my heart, " I know, right, he was so smart and level headed, and had beautiful long hair." " He will do great things in this world, I know it." Tears in our eyes, again. Then cat scan man came for mama!!
I hear a few minutes later, " Is that her, over there, thinking she is a teenager on her phone?" Then mom squeaked out, "Bonnie!" " You have to meet this man, he is delightful." I hugged him and thanked him for treating my mom so sweet, he talked a lot, wonder where he was from!! Mom and I rolled on to the car, freaked again, of such good humans. She said, " I could have stayed there with that man, all day!!!" I had to laugh, it was an enjoyable outing, we were healed for another day.
I told Mary mom, you know I have to write about this fantastic stuff, and she said, " Don't leave anything out!!"

I try.
So I end on this note, of being blessed and kindness goes a LONG way.
Also, I am forever eating yogurt, my favorite thing in the world!! I asked my darling life partner, if he thought I was addicted to my beloved yogurt!!! ( I have eight different kinds in my fridge, right now, NOOSA lemon, is top on list, this second) The Hubs said, " There are worse things to be addicted to! You are good."
Like I said, Blessed !!

Rudderless

For the past few days, this word, rudderless, has come to my attention. Three different times, and ways to communicate. Words fascinate me, and its July, I feel a tad rudderless.
I know all Jesus people will say, he is your rudder, which is great. My relationship with him, is more like a brother, who lets me make mistakes, and tells me to LEARN from it.
I know it is a boat term, to help you go a certain way. Also used as a guide in any situation, no boat needed.
 Covid  and humidity, are not a good combo. I think it ate my rudder!! Rotted it, infested it and threw me to the sharks!!! Lucky for me, I am a good swimmer, and can tread water for days!! However I feel like I may be tasty, and a good meal for the sharks, 50/50, Jesus, my brother, throw me a rope!!
4th of July ( to begin a sentence with a number, treading water) came and went, with no fanfare. Depression dancing on my doorsteps, was there a holiday?
My work continues, turn over all stones, Bonnie!! Live this life, beast or not.
I am my own rudder, I can hang out a shingle, "Rudders Working."
Hamilton on the telly, mama is a happy camper.

First viewing, I absorbed every movement, eyelash curl and hung on each perfect note.
Second viewing, I put the closed caption words on, and grabbed my pencil and paper.
This play is poetry in motion.
Third viewing, I may have told the darling hubs, he could leave the room, because I was going to sing, the entire production. ( he left)
I found my rudder.
My favorite line in its entire span, was Eliza, " You built me Palaces out of Paragraphs!" Lord have mercy, have you ever had someone write you a letter like that!! A. Ham had a way with the words, and not enough time. AND even after his short comings, like not keeping IT in his pants, she knew his story had to be told. She would tell of his goodness, and do good herself.
The real story is, her story. Eliza Hamilton, Thank you.

We have tickets to see the play, but C and H ( Covid and Humidity) canceled that.
I knew when it was first on the horizon, that most likely it would be better if I did not dive in. I have a very addictive personality to many things, and Broadway is one!! I probably would have moved just to go see this play many times, inching my way towards the end of my sixties, I thought better ( see my rudder is working) I delayed my gratification. WHICH is a pure miracle, thank you Brother J.
So when I heard it was coming on Disney, I thanked my youngest gran, Wyatt, for hooking his Uma up.
I have read a couple of books in between musical numbers!! and cooked like I worked the cafeteria at Morrison's.
Mom has had two better days, and that is always a good sign, grab it, and hold tight. Kids are good, and I told them unless there is a lot of blood, mama doesn't need to know. ( Mom is my mother, Mary, if I confuse you) ( If you read my blog, you are confused already) ( god bless you)
Flowers are putting on a July fantastic show, and sunshine is the best medicine, hands down!! Unless its Vicks, which is still pretty darn good.
Keep safe, wear a mask, we need data, and fix your rudder!!
love
B

PBS

Please BE Safe, wear a mask. Stay home, wash your paws!!

PBS in this blog, stands for Public Broadcasting System.

I hope you always look there first, Netflix second, throw in National Geographic and Disney Prime!!

This Saturday morning PBS it was and crazy learning going on. ( Note I have been depressed going on three days, and its unusual for me because I have Big Meds!!) ( I felt different on Thursday, and its been over 20 years since I have felt the beast.)
I guess we are all depressed during these stranger things kind of days. Virus counts are off the charts high, especially in my beloved south.( You know I will blame it on Humidity!) ( or plain stupid!!)
We have been inside, tooooooo long, Mom has good and bad days, and the hubs is, well, trying to help. I have been painting and reading and cooking, like the mad hatter, and am way down the rabbit hole!!
Back to PBS.
I will find joy, I have the tools, I need to be happy and work hard. I know how to PIVOT!! Turn around and keep going, fix this chemical imbalance, and everyday life. I have always shared with you, the reader, none of this happy is easy!! We, all of us, have to redefine our limitations. Life's daily struggles are harder to rally for than life's big mother cooter stuff!!!!
There is no such thing as, we have it all together. That is where PBS comes in.
Today there were two stories, and I just saw pieces of each, (making up bed, and taking a bath may have led me astray). One was about a man who refinishes furniture, and he was lovely. Beautiful work, with many warehouses of projects to do. Hand carving, reupholstering, staining, and knowledge of so much. A gift of a job, he had. A master artist, builder and handsome. Beautiful hands, and hair, I notice everything So glad I got to meet him half way through. Then went to the other PBS channel, and this lady, Ashley Longshore, was being interviewed during dinner. Who is this ray of sunshine, the bath could wait. She is a very different kind of artist, Warhol, Betsy Johnson, Peter Max ish!! She wakes up happy every day!! She is intoxicating, and said her greatest super power is Enthusiasm!!! I needed to see her this morning, and she came to me!! She has a big story, read about her. She also said her ability to Pivot in life, is a game changer!! She also, after eating some beautiful soup, said, it made her cry, it was so fantastic!! YES, enjoy each moment, make it enjoyable, work super hard, look around you, support your local broadcasting stations!!
 The virus is now a part of out everyday, we know what to do, Pivot!! change the negative results.
Do more for others, love each other, intoxicate the world.
Gotta go fix mama some lunch, love you al.
(

I Like A Little Dinge

Title is a pearl from Ben Napier (Make Something Good Today, book)

This current situation of, hanging out with the family, has me looking closely at everything. Normally I look toooooo close, I turn over the rock, dig a hole, keep digging, buy a plant, watch it grow, learn all I can about the rock, soil and plant, then worry about the weather.
I PAY ATTENTION, to words and actions, movement and reason for the movement!!
What I am trying to tell you, this hunkered down virus time, is difficult!!
So I keep moving, reading, working in the yard, visiting with mom and hubby, few kids here and there. Write letters, paint, and stew standing up!!

My family is lucky that I can entertain myself and I like a little dinge!!
I left hand prints from all my grandchildren on my windows, for months, just enjoying their little fingers. I like a clean house, just not orderly.
In the above mentioned book, the Napiers write-We are all houses, altered by time and circumstances. Our lives shaped by the good and the bad, and we take it all in and make it a part of us.
I think we are our homes, patched together with this mess of a life. We are tender as, raw biscuit dough, ( from book) and haunted by what-ifs and, worst case scenarios.
During this year of 2020, all the days, are large and limited. It will take work to navigate these waters. I wish you strength and abundant joy to be your best version of yourself.
   Today is Fathers Day, and facebook sent me a memory from 2007 or maybe it was 2010, I have shot short term memory!! That explains so much.
I had called my father on this Fathers Day morning, and my brothers had done the same. We had apparently called back to back. Note-my father never talked on the phone!!! I asked daddy how he was? Simple question, right?? He spoke, " I have been on the phone all morning with you kids, checking on me.!!" his day was not going so good. He continued, "I am fine, now bye!" and " If you send me any shirts, I am giving them to Tommy(my brother)." I held the receiver a tad away from my howling laughter, and said, " OK Homer, and we love you too!"
My daddy was very different, if he hugged you, some animal of ours had been run over in the driveway.
 He quizzed us on old movies, old music, history and cowboys. I have a doctorate degree is strange things to remember. He was Yoda with a drawl. He taught us all to know the ins and outs of a car, and convinced us, that we could never learn. He tried to teach me golf for about five minutes, and told me in no uncertain terms, do not ever try this again. I played tennis instead!!! He never unpacked a suitcase in his life, while traveling, because I promise he was not staying!!
I can also say for sure, no one could love us anymore then he did. We knew it, we understood his ways.
I miss him, but I have stories on top of stories.
My old boyfriends still tell Homer stories, not everyone one wants to watch a boil being lanced before a date!!!
He made me pull off the road laughing so hard, I could not see. Also made me so angry, I jumped out of a moving car, because he was trying, in his way, to teach me to drive.
We were lucky to have him so long.
I will not call you today daddy, but I will write about you.
Thank you for being you
Number one daughter
Bonnie

Bring Me All Your Dreams

  Bring Me All Your Dreams
         You Dreamer,
     Bring Me All Your
          Heart Melodies
    That I May Wrap Them
    In A Blue Cloud-Cloth
Away From The Too-Rough Fingers
           Of The World.

Langston Hughes

   Mom has been living with us since March. Daddy has been in all my dreams, a guest appearance, is guaranteed. My father passed away recently, or it feels recently, if you want extra info about him. He was never in any of my dreams, not one. Now he is visiting on a nightly basis. I told mom, he is just checking on her, through me. However, he is not asking about mom, he seems to be helping me, find lost items, and giving me directions. ( he gave all of us directions, all the time!!) ( road rage, hung close to dad, in a car. Even explaining how to do anything!!was his wheelhouse) ( God Bless him!!)
( I do know how to get to Main Street Dad, 67 years later, still!)
Being a big dreamer, I write down a bunch, because I remember my dreams, and sometimes, I just can not figure them out.
The other morning, I woke up and began to write. I was celebrating Brenda Brickel and my birthdays, (a friend from high school, love her) in a big world of our birthdays. ( Brendas birthday is not the same as mine, if you are thinking that) I never saw Brenda at the party, I was looking for her. I did get to see so many people, that I have probably loved at some time. Dream lover, that I am.
Ron Howard was so nice, a good hugger, Nancy Sinatra still was walking them boots!!,all the Harry Potter kids, allowed me to be in the book or the movie, so exciting. I could just walk onto any play, that I have dreamt about being in, boom, Rent, The King and I, all original cast.
I was wearing a cute red hat, and had lost my glasses, and purse, which is in every dream. There were also so many doors to open!! I was lost, as a ball in tall grass. That's when I saw daddy, and he showed me a few doors to open, they were all good choices, and told me to look at Waze on my phone to find the way to the beginning of my birthday. ( note, he never owned a cell phone, nor would have told me to use Waze!!)
 I found the start of the party and it was over, as if there never was one. I felt OK, missed the cake, and never found Brenda, but I knew how to go to the parking lot.
Always nice to see old friends, Melinda Youngblood Brewer was there, in a huge, lavender flower hat, like and old lady at church. We laughed so hard, and neither of us knew why.
I woke up a little later then my 4 or 5 am call time, I think it was around 6 and I panicked!! Half the day was gone.
I wrote as much as I could remember down, to later think of it.
I did not find the words to describe how happy I was, it was just a sweet feeling.
The world today, is so harsh with virus, protests, and a 30/30 TV program on Lance Armstrong that has sickened me!!!
I looked to Langston, to find some answers, and I did.
A blue cloud cloth, wrap me up, I bring you a very special dream.
Daddy go visit mom, I know which way to go.

I Stand Aghast

Not totally true, and you can not fact check me.
I am in a sitting position, front room window, with nada to say.
My mother wished me a Happy June, this morning, so I know the month.
I have three lists going, and nothing is checked off. Again.....I did look for a mink stole and can not find it, can any one in my family direct me to where it is. I found the mink and fox jacket, but not the stole. I found the dentist number, I have a tendency to GRIT my teeth to a powder, when stressed!! Why was I looking for my animal skin/fur things?? I don't know, just cleaning out closets and my cluttered mind. No reason.
Someone idiots ( use that term with ease) have been on my blog, like a hacker, only writing down, like those games you play on FB. I may need number one son, to go investigate. What my smile tells me, ( that is the repeated blog hack) I don't need to know, because I am not smiling!!

The C virus is here to stay, people are acting like it is a normal summer, and let me tell you, its not.
There are so many rules at out neighborhood pool, I think I will have to take the packet with me. Normally I would just be required to bring my towel, and know the code to get in.( which means I would call one of the kids to tell me the code) I go to free swim, no lifeguards ( no George Garcia, Nicky Brown, all the darling lifeguards of my youth!!) to save me, I hang out for a spell, swim, read, pink up, and done. Are all these rules for me??

AND now, this horrible protest, war zone, of people who are unheard.

I believe in protest, I have walked in every march for a cause. I grew up in the 60's, I know how to burn my bra, fight aids, love all people whom go by an initial LGB....etc. I followed the Black Panthers, marched in Civil rights groups, I believe in equality, for all people. ALL, that is ALL people!!!!
 I do not believe in violence, looting, pot stirrers, uneducated, lazy, BAD people.
BUT.....where do you channel the anger? The fear?
You don't destroy where you live, and that Gucci purse?? Steal food for the family, then we can talk.

Poverty, lack of education, racism, and a political system that needs an overhaul, I hear you, we can not breathe. I have been to my own mountain top, not yours. I will walk with you, all of you, to make myself heard. I will not support stupid actions, of violence, that does nothing but make a cause look worthless.

We, WE are all in this together, in my heart, my actions, and my service to others. Am I a liberal pussy, maybe in some eyes. I prefer to call myself a liberal tiger mom, who has been to Laurel Canyon, I heard the music!!!  Peace is in my soul, how do I get that for others to follow. Writing, voting, living a good human life!!!
Loving people, even the ones hard to love, I love you, and put down that brick.

Now I have to call the dentist, I have no teeth left!!

I stand Aghast

Nothing Good Happens Outside-Larry David

I so wish you all were sitting beside me, laughing at my massive amounts of notes!! They are random, crazy fun. I know at the time of writing, their is a purpose of all. What that is, honey is another chapter.
Lionel Ritchie plays loud in the background, velvet!! Mom is feed and having her personal time of washing, and brushing, and letter writing. The good doctor, is at his favorite place, Kroger grocery store, masked and gloved, getting, god only knows what. I am just thankful I don't have to kill a chicken, and cut it up!! I thank the almighty daily, for being born in this time period. Even with a horrible virus, I have it good!! Pre cut up chicken, thank you!!!
We have been hunkered down, and I heard Mr. David say that nothing good happens outside, anyway. Stay inside. He was not referring to virus, just life in general, just chill and enjoy your space.
Still looking at my notes, I see my blood pressure written down from February, a password or two, and this pearl, "You and me, sitting in the back of my memory." Now that is noteworthy.
On the back of that page I see, Social Distancing does not mean disengagement. I think I have passed that on to some family members. ( God Bless um)
"If you can't measure it, you can't improve it." in convo with hubs one morning. Talking about , we need data, testing, Dr. Bill, Princeton Science, I agree dear one.
 Hard to believe, but I have read a few books, planted some flowers, and cooked enough food, to feed the continent of Africa!!!
The Dearly Beloved, by Cara Wall
The Island of Sea Women, by Lisa See
Here are some quotes from both, that will remain with me always.
..She had died from mother love.
..Her house is the nest where she hides the joy, laughter, sorrows and regrets of her life.
..parents exist in children
..obligations are the fuel for life.
..born from humidity( this is the song of my life!!)
..doilies do not hide bad furniture( wow and wow, and wow)
..house cobwebbed with worry and swept clean by relief
..friends would forever be her stitches, her ballast, her home
Books to read
1. House Made of Dawn by N. Scott Momaday
2.Writers and Lovers by Lily King
3. Holding On To Nothing by Elizabeth Chiles Shelburne
4. Suffer Strong by Katherine and Jay Wolf
5. Make Something Good Happen by Erin and Ben Napier

It is important to write things down, and have many books waiting for you.

This is a time, of change, the climate is uneasy. I listened to a speaker that my friend, Bird Woman, had posted this week. Wonderful lady and I cant remember her name, but she is divine.
She began to ask, " What do you need to pack for the day?" To stay positive and let your light shine!!!
Mother of God, what do you pack in your suitcase of this life, to shine??
Well, this morning, I packed, music, books, notes and a pen. Wonderful computer to use, and knowing right this second, my family is good, and I don't have to cut up a chicken.
The day is beautiful and may my light shine on you, over this blog.
Love, Love, Love

What Moments Define You?

   May has blown in with strong winds, rain and today, blessed sunshine.

   Warm weather and sunshine, change even the Covid feelings around the world.
   My husband asked me yesterday, if I had blogged about the virus, and our isolation? Stay inside orders, should have giving me a wealth of stories, but...…I have been working hard on myself to stay in a good place. The fear and horror of nursing home patients, bodybags stacked up in ice trucks, so many people dying and sick. Loss of jobs, and hurting, sadness, and the circus of fools, in the White House. I don't know what to say.
   I think I know some answers, or questions, that I could run by some high political people, but they aren't listening. I would like to ask, protesters, acting like terrorists', to use words, not machine guns to get your point across. Angry people, they are not listening to you either.
It is a very unstable, different time to be hanging out of this earth of ours.
I was reminded yesterday of the 60's, early 70's and thought, geez that was so raw and unrested people.
We survived that period, we humans, have a strong spirit. I do have hope, but right now, it is meek in my heart.
Yesterday a dear friend, texted me to tune into PBS American Masters. So I did.
I love that my friends, all of them, know me so well. Know my likes and dislikes, enough to nudge me in the right direction.

 It was about a Native American, Momaday, Alfred or Scott. ( looking at my notes, who knows??)
He is so wise and brilliant, and I had to clutch my heart at every word, that spilled from him.
House Made of Dawn, is a book, I am going to read, when I stop typing to you.
The title of this blog, was said by him, and I thought, no kidding. Bad or Good moments, things that change you, even the smallest word, can turn the oxcart around. It was about the storytellers, the Native American storytellers. The oral tradition, and their history ( that we took from them) so rich, and so lost. An entire group of people, thrown away. Never throw people or words away. ( I feel like that is what we may be doing now)
He used the word, DELIGHTED, several times.  Delighted in Life, that is how we should feel every single day. He was delighted, when someone referred to him, as a story teller. The sun dance, was a way of worship, thanksgiving, for food, and another day. I think we have stopped singing and dancing. We are all teachers, and writers, and healers, we ARE!! Use our talents, tell your story, help someone, share some food, or company, even at a distance.
This moment defines you, this very moment.
Delight in being here.
And keep hope alive, by our thoughts, words and deeds.
Thank you HTA, your little message, turned my day around, and surrounded me with Peace.
I will watch it again, to see if I missed a single word.

The Human Capacity For Burden Is Like Bamboo

   Far more flexible than you'd ever imagine. ( continued from blog title, Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper)
   Just this week in April, I put on makeup to listen to an opera singer online. During the mascara swipe, I laughed, talking to myself, "Bonnie he is blind!" I was sure he would know it was me listening, I wanted to look nice. My friend Perlotta let me know, that He Knew!!! Friends are the Gorilla Glue of life. Love my friends.
  Also same week, I think???
  Husband said, "Wizard of Oz is on TV?" ( knows I love the movie) I told him, I was good, did not feel like watching Dorothy, but I may have said, " That person singing sounds like Judy Garland!!"
  People, this virus, is changing all of us.
  Such suffering and horror, and together time!!!
  What do they call it? Stay home time?
  I love home, and my family but I need things!!!
  I don't really need anything, ( that is not totally true!!)
  Paul Simon is playing on Alexia right now, I need them both!!
  I need a new President, period. ( Let the facts talk !) ( We may forgive you for voting for this human) ( but.....I will have to pray hard for forgiveness)
 I need spring plants. I know my nursery, has curb pick up, but I like to touch plants, and commune with what is coming into my yard. ( I get the same ones!!) ( maybe I can do it online!) ( will they understand, my purple and yellow, design element!!) (YES, I may be high maintenance )( No I am not, I am very particular !!)
 Each night before I go to sleep, my prayers are for all the people, you know, essential people, who are still working for us. So many angels among us, I pray they get paid for their hard, dangerous labor. Teachers, truck drivers, postal workers, nurses, doctors, all care workers, any and all, OH, Grocery delivery people . ( one at my door right now)
Corona Virus, has changed us, and I think for the better. I hope so.
It is a heavy burden on the human race, but we are known for adaptation.
A world full of suffering, heartache, and strong opinions, I am a Dreamer! John Lennon told me so.
I need the Beatles music !!
My mom is with us now, and has good days, and not so good. I remind her, that we all have those.
Life is what it is, and we all hang on. Some hang on the rope, and are very still. Some swing on the rope, and soar.
 Shooting for the stars, seems right in my wheelhouse around this 2020 year.
Be safe, love each other, keep learning, and pray that my nail people come back!!( OK, maybe its not at the top of my list, but damn if its not pretty high!)

Where Did You Go? MARCH!!! I am Talking To You

When you have a blog for 12 years, and then don't write for a month. Something is UP!!

Let us start in the beginning.
Flu A, jumped on me and my Wyatt ( g-kiddo)
My 50 year high school reunion, I had to miss. ( Broke my heart) ( our class of 70, Andrew Jackson Senior High, was and is remarkable. Friends for life, love them all)
Sent my son, Hart and the Dr. ( hubs and father of Hart) to Florida, like was planned to pack up my mothers home and bring her back to live with us.
Throw in a virus, that is killing, right now, 1 person every 17 minutes in New York City.
The all return, mom is very ill. ( big move)
Bonnie, (me) is still tired from the Flu.
And The United States has put the entire country, almost, on a complete lockdown for the elderly.
AND now that includes me!!! Bill and Mom, and a slew of other humans.
Groceries are flying off the shelf, news causing panic.
Second week, mom is much better. Her cute self is showing up. Still very weak, Flu Bug, Corona weak.
I have always known I was a tiny (????) bit spoiled, but these days, I have gone to my knees, and the back deck at 4 am to pray, Hard!!!!!
I have had cleaning people, who are like family, almost 40 years. Now they cannot come, and I miss them. I never wanted to clean, like my mother, all the time. A spotless house, that smelled of pledge and bleach, not happening. So even when first married, and no money, we had help!! Maybe not new furniture then, but I was not going to clean the floor with a toothbrush, evah!!! ( mom didn't do that, or did you mom??) ( I just remember Aunt Dot and a few others.)
We have yard people, that can still come, and I tell them with prayerful hands through the door, Thank you a million times!
After the children had grown up and out, and it was just the two Barons, we ate out a LOT. Why cook, like Thanksgiving everyday of the week??
NOW, I am cooking like Mrs. Cleaver in pearls!!
Three weeks, I have cooked, and I feel crazy!! I want Mexican food, and a Margarita the size of my thigh!!
I don't order food out, little iffy of nobody being tested for this virus, cooking.
I cancelled my hair appointment, don't get me started on nails!!!
I firmly believe, if momma is happy, I may be sweeter?!!
My seamstress, Grace, I need all the time. Short people, need to have all things altered.
Online shopping, no fun, not going anywhere.
My flower shop does have curb side pick up, I may have to cave a little. ( ask a child to bring me, spring annuals!!)
Oh March Madness, you also took away sports, its not good.
I do feel so blessed, so blessed.
I love having my mom, here and safe.
I love my family, near, far, and miss them so much.
Bill and I are retired, so we were use to each other, and very thankful we have a huge house, we need our space.
Animals are ok, Vet is doing curb side.
I had a visit with my doctor, over the phone.
We all need to be tested, everyone, the person in charge of this dropped the ball. Now we are in the trenches, of very few people have been tested. Hospitals are under staffed, and without equipment and protection from this horror.
I see the glass half full, always, but now I hesitate to drink from the cup!!
What is in that glass?
Oh heck, I will still drink, I know what I put in that glass.
Love, Joy and Hard Science thrown in. Stirred by Jesus, and another day.
Be safe, smart, love wins, with a little music turned UP!!!

Create Assemblages

 While watching Sunday Morning program, my church service/combo learning show, took me to my knees.
 Betye Saar, the artist, whom I had never heard of, touched me.
She creates assemblages!!
That is me, I require assembly!! I gather, summon, accumulate, hold a Come To Jesus meeting, rally, pack them in, herd together!!! Then somehow find the art, the joy in my stuff!! My thoughts, ideas, collections, evoke chaos and feelings of deep, down laughter or tears. Betye Saar, who is ninety, and still working, creates assemblages!! I love that word!!
 Years ago, while antique hunting, I found a bag of watch faces!! I looked at them during many different visits. I showed whatever kid was with me, these broken watch pieces, and thirty different size watch faces. They laughed at me, asking, "what cha going to do with those?" I don't ever know, I just know they should be coming home with me. I never bought them, the store closed down, and that was it.
Now to connect the dots.
Betye Saar had a beautiful project of clock faces, watch faces yesterday on the show!! She was having a gallery show, at MOMA. I yelled, "there it is, my watch pieces." I was like a proud mama.
She had other work, go online and view, one was a hanging, antique, christening gown, with all the names she had been called stitched in the hem!!! ( she is a beautiful, black woman, and these words had stung her) Very powerful. Also and old wooden ironing board with a print of slaves on a ship, a map of where their bodies would lay. Too much wonder and thought, amazing.
Her warehouse, where she works, needs me to visit. AND I am convinced she does not think about the clothes that need washing, or if the dryer just went off!! All people, need a space, an altar to create, touch, feel, be quiet in. She had a shelf of bird cages, I sighed!!
If that wasn't enough, the show had a little snippet about Richard Dreyfuss, take me home now!!
Goodbye Girl, one of my fav movies of all time, he stole my heart. I was a happy non church going human, ( Saturday Night Church, and all week mass, peeps!!) I thanked the good lord, for my Sunday morning service.
Today is Monday, rain all of February has, soaked my spirit, but I had Sunday Morning!!
I am headed to the art room, to create some assemblages!!
Where ever you are, join me, make something, think something wonderful. Travel, Read, Pray, Write, assemble your story.( ps, I can't find spell check on my webpage , they must know, I am not a big fan, of fixing mistakes!!) Oh wellllll, opps