In The Hood!

  Yes, I count my self in the Motherhood group of people.
   It is the only occupation that never lets you go,. Motherhood is a life sentence, in many ways. Good,bad, happy, sad and all other emotions known to man.
                                Motherhood: All love
                                begins and ends there.
                                               Robert Browning

 It is a roller coaster ride, with funnel cakes and vomit!!
 A hurricane and a cool breeze.
 Magic and mayhem.
 Mother's Day is ours, and I love it.

My life as a mother, is very wacky. You see I have been so lucky to be so many kinds of mothers.
A stepmother to Brian and Keith, a birth mom to Ward and Hart and an adoption momma to Queen Emma.
Five bright, cute, odd, loving humans, I have had the privilege of molding! Loving them, fighting with them, watching them grow, hoping they took all my good parts, and trashed any bad. They are wonderful adult people, who call me Bonnie and Mom and two little ones that I mother, call me Uma!

I also am a mom of grief. We lost our Ward, almost 8 years ago. At the age of 25, his time on earth was over. He lived his full life, and I do not understand his departure. His love remains with me, and I still mother him. I mother his memory, and speak his name daily. So as happy as Mothers Day is, it is also, broken in places that will not heal.

I choose to live my life in a place of Joy, even through unspeakable pain, it is joy that I search for and find.

I remember when I was first pregnant and felt a flutter, I laid on the floor for hours, hoping to feel it again.
Bill came home from work, and asked me what was I doing.
I just laid there, quiet and pointed to my abdomen. He came over, knelled, put his hand where I was pointing, and smiled. I yelled, " Do you feel it! Its like fairy wings!" ( note we, had not been married very long! maybe four months!!!!!) My new husband said, " Please don't tell me you believe in fairies!" ( here comes the chemist talking!)
I stay quiet, " OK, maybe angel wings!!!!)
Who is this stranger talking, " Angels?"
"Yes I believe in all these things, Tinker Bell and Angels We Have Heard On High!" move over Princeton grad, there is a new MOM in town, and I feel a flutter!!! and its the best thing that has ever happened to me, so it has to be Holy and Magic, Jesus and Disney!
Then I became sick......
I craved tuna fish sandwiches with sliced apples on it!
I had August babies, so my feet looked, well if you are a mom, you know!!
Adopting a child, the feeling is just as intense, but my feet looked nice!
Being a Stepmom is not as quick, the love, but when it comes....it is as if you birthed these children.
and again my feet remained cute, big plus!!

Its the best, nothing can prepare you for that kind of love.
And never in a million lifetimes, is a mom ever at peace with the loss of a child.
I would do it all again, Keith, Brian, Ward, Hart and Emma, you are my joy.
You gave me Mothers Day, forever.