Rafa and Clay

 I have just spent two weeks in Paris, in October. Match after match of tennis, supreme.

Martina Navratilova woke me up early, EARLY, with a familiar voice, and wisdom of a winner.

She looks at tennis like a science/math problem, it was fascinating to hear her describe each point.

Johnny Mack came in for the finals and brought us New York with a swag. The petulant young man, has aged with wit and perfection. Paris at any season tugs at my heart, I saw a bakery and smelled it through the telly. All the streets, and I think I saw my bench outside the Louve. 

The color of clay courts, the rust of skill and practice, I can not explain, it is love. ( not the love =zero)

   Keeping busy these days, with fear hovering. I hate thinking about this vile virus, and horrific hate simmering in this storm. My brother and I had to agree not to discuss politics, my left and his center, are very far apart. Me being the oldest,I still have to ability to choke him, but love wins!! I will love him, and maybe pinch him very hard!!!!

  Iam reading this great book, How to Think Like a Monk, or is it Live Like A Monk, I will have to look it up. Wait a minute. It's Think Like A Monk, by Jay Shetty.

   These times call for all kinds of reading, and this is a good one. 

Years ago, Mother Mary and I went to meet and greet some Monks at St.John's Cathedral in Jacksonville, Florida. ( my home church) ( also First Methodist) ( Also Anderson Methodist) ( All home churches) Brother John, I think was his name, was very young and handsome, with his brown robe and rope belt!!! My mind may have been wandering, but I listened, and he spoke so calmly. He had a glow, honestly( and I may have had other ideas) ( I was young) ( maybe early twenties) ( Hormones)

I was already in love with The Dean, I think I have a thing for robes, and calmness!!

Well, that little story is why I am reading this book, mom, who is living with us now and I talk about everything under the sun and clouds. We were laughing about Brother John, and she reminded me of my question to him. I may have.....asked him, didn't he want to have a family and love interest?? He said he was married to Jesus, or some crazy thing, and I may have said, " Really??"

  OK, back to the book, we need to hear Martina's voice, A monk's journey, and Jesus, to help us, through this 2020 year.

Here are some of the lines, I highlighted.

1. No matter what you think your values are, your actions tell the real story.

2. When we tune out the opinions, expectations, and obligations of the world around us, we begin to hear ourselves. LISTEN PEOPLE TO YOURSELF, last four words were mine.

3.What is the value in your choice?

4. There are always more ways to be pulled up than to be pulled down.

5. Comparing, Complaining, Criticizing, Cancers of the mind.

6.Do not give your attention to what others do or fail to do; give it to what you do or fail to do.

7. In my experience, nobody wakes up and thinks, How can I be mean today?( are you sure, Brother John) ( OK, this is not Brother John but I still have him on my mind!!)

8. Bad things do Happen.

9. Don't count the teeth in someone else's mouth!!

10. But Monks believe that when it comes to happiness and joy, there is a seat with your name on it.

I will end there.

I am thinking about candy corn right now, Brother John, Rafa, the color of clay, and all of you wonderful people. 

Enjoy whatever you find, to bring you peace, happiness, and read this book.

Love in October

B

Cashmere and Converse-Daniel Levy

  Currently looking at a grand spider web out my window. All of a sudden, spider webs are all around. Maybe they were always there?? I think I would have seen them. They fascinate me, glad I am not afraid of the little creatures. ( Thank you Charlotte)

  No I will not be watching the presidential debate, I have been nauseated for almost four years, I may be for four more, I don't know?? All I know is I have my ballot in hand, and some holy water, prayer beads, and Neil Young playing in background, signing my name for my party. The platform I believe in and have worked for all my adult life. I will think of Ruth, with a grateful heart, as I vote.

I will think of Policemen, and victims of racial injustice, hoping both can change for the better. We need our police educated, paid more, and changed!!! We need to look at Black Lives Matter, because they do. The color of your skin should never be an issue, EVER. Actions do speak louder, but so often color comes into view first. NOT OK, we are all humans, every color, religion, breath we take, gender!! Equal love, respect, helping each other, positive living, working hard to do better and be better. I sign my ballot for you!! I sign my ballot for me!! I wear a mask for you!! I wear a mask for Me!

Listen to your heart, and the scientist, news media, be careful.

This is not road scholar information, this is human smart, fair, kindness, equal rights, body rights!!

For the love of Baby Jesus, vote. 

I will accept the peoples vote, even if it is not my own, and continue to fight until my last breathe, for my beliefs. I have the hope of change, real hope, but I did the last election also, and defeat is not fun. It just made me work harder. I see a new cup, not half full, or half empty, but with a different liquid in the cup!! A cup overflowing with joy, hard work, changes, courage, strength, a strong wind blowing the last few years of hatred away. Teachers getting paid for their worth, doctors and nurses, policemen, firemen, military people, Honored and respected, for doing good. AND if you are the bad seed in any profession, you gotta go, Preachers, Teachers, Politics, all working people, ALL weed out the bad. 

I could continue, but I have lost my rant  of thought. Lucky for you!!

I will tell you that I heard a quote, as usual, forgot to write where I heard this jewel, but jewel it is!!

" She is Dracula with a blowout!!!" You can borrow anytime, this season of BOO!!! It cracked me up. ( I know who it was used for, but I am trying to be better!!) ( or I totally don't remember the who, when and why?? and it just cracked me up anyway!!)

Just like the title of my blog, we are all Cashmere and Converse, and Shitt's Creek is a fantastic show, thank you Nancy and BA for turning me onto it many years ago.

Happy Sunday in September, spiders and all!!!

Bring Back Lawrence Welk-Jim Gaffigan, Sunday Morning News

In a conversation, of the comic variety, Jim Gaffigan spoke of living in the 1950's, NOW!!

We are all in Covid cooking frenzy, everything, farm to table, scratch. Some have even brought out the Cleaver PEARLS!!!

Children under foot, for months on end, puzzles and board games galore. Desi and Lucy may be on the tube. All that is missing is Lawrence Welk!! Bubbles and Big Band Music, Yes, don't tease me.

1 Nanny ( yes, I did have a 2 Nanny), with Mr. and Mrs. Norman (Noni) watched Mr. Welk every Saturday night for years. The Lennon Sisters were my JAM!!! Even as a little girl, they would all tell me, which singer would make me a good husband!! You do realize, I was maybe 6, through high school, yes I still watched it!! There was some young blond singer, that was the winner. I told them, he was not my type. When Grandmother told me, "Well he looks just like Edward McClamma, and you love him!!" I reminded her, in a gentle way, ?? !!, " Gran, that is private information!" 

Yes, bring back Lawrence.

 Also, another couple of quotes, that I had the good fortune of stumbling upon, I will share.

" Smells like Icy Hot and Cruelty!!", Lemon Breeland, Hart of Dixie, Netflex. May be my favorite line of all time.

Also since in this house of horrors, 2020 continues, I was lucky to watch the US Tennis championship, with unbridled joy. Johnny Mack was commentating about a young mans second serve being so bad, when he offered some advice, " Get the first serve in, then you don't need to worry about the second one!!" I hollered, Yes Johnny, a life lesson for real!!!

I love tennis more than air, and this open, was fantastic.

Honestly I have so many notes, but can not connect the dots these days. All is well, reading an autobiography of Alice B. Toklas by Gertrude Stein. I feel like I am in Paris surrounded by all things that make me happy. 

I think we are still in September, itching to decorate for fall, and Christmas, all at the same time. Its an Idea!! 

Love the one you are with, and maybe another.

Peace, Vote, and pray for fires to finish, so much heartache, bring me Lawrence!! 

I Have Lost My Voice

My voice is still, quiet, softened, lulled, slacken, gone.

I have become very withdrawn during this covid/political.

Idle hands, not so much.

Busy hands and mind, just no voice.

( my mom, husband, and kids, would beg to differ)

BUT....

I feel it.

AND....

This is not my jam!!!

What is there to say?? 

I am the writer of my narrative, my story, but it has become quiet.

The things I would like to say, are strong and loud, and fall on deaf ears. Plus I am older, and the fight left in me, is also different. (You know I blame the weather for everything!!) ( I feel it in the air, its changing!!) ( and I have two people living inside of me!!) ( Summer and Winter!!) ( Sybil times two)

I could tell you what I have cooked, painted, read, watched on the telly, however, it seems small, with what is going on in the world.

I am so thankful beyond coffee, that I love myself. So many humans are in such a discontent with themselves!! Lord, thank you for me. Flaws and all, wrapped up crazy good, still learning, grown woman, who thinks she is 16!!!

Mom told me this Sunday morning, to write about napkins!!! ( Love my mom)

I told her that was great, they make me very happy. I have many, many cocktail napkins, seasonal and not, that bring me joy!! I place a few new ones on mom's breakfast tray every few days. She saves them, and sends them to her friends!! We pass on our napkin love!! ( Mom writes about three letters a day!! Snail mail, fun stuff)

Today's napkin was a flamingo, wearing a flower crown, and you open it up and more flowers everywhere!! Mom kissed it, and held it to her heart! We both agreed it was a good one, we even liked the texture of the paper!!! We are funny people. I like to thank Nan and Brooks Hayes, for teaching me to always put out a cute napkin, at night, to get ready for coffee in morn. Cups ready, spoon, sugar or sweet n low, and a pretty napkin underneath. I thought the gesture was so sweet, I borrowed it, and still use it to this day. Now I have giving mom the idea, our eyes just need to wake up to sweetness. ( I will try and take a picture of some of them, or send you one!! just because!!

I still am rather quiet, but my fingers are working, so you can hear me.

These moments are very different, change, of any kind, is hard. Throw in a virus and a clown, and I have had to pause!! Take deep breaths, and pull out the napkins!!!

August is walking away, and I still have so much to say.

Right now, silence is pretty sweet.

You Row Forward, Looking Back

I need a litany, a rosary, a sutra, a mantra, a war chant, to get me through each day. I wake up, asking Jesus to make me an instrument of peace, and its fleeting!! These are very disorienting times.

As always a few things, surprise me, delight me, amaze me, and sustain me. Thankfully.

A lone beautiful apple, dinner with entire crew, the back door open, sunshine, rain, books, visits with mom and beloved Bill, Wyatt reminding us all to enjoy this moment of toddler time, ( run on sentence makes me happy also!)

Smells of my perfume from France, and Jo Malone, both with mimosa and cardamom infused.

A sharp pencil, and new watercolors, a finished painting and one ready to do, clean sheets, and my cleaning family that has been with us over 20 years.

The Obamas, Michelle's speech, last night at the DNC, caused me to fist bump the air, and have a moment of clear headedness, ( is that a word)

Glad Bill and I are retired and able to care for mamasita in our home.

Reading BackLash, pausing between paragraphs, to check my heart and mind. To make sure I am a good human, and have taught my children to do right in the world. To remember that being quiet, keeps the sustainable racism going. My actions, are important, words, thoughts, will be heard. I hope everyone reads this book, stays with it, knowing it will, maybe, make you uncomfortable, hopefully. It is a must read. 

Mary Trump's book, not a must read, because I knew almost all the information about the man and his family. I guess that is why I was surprised that anyone that I knew, could vote for him. Placing him in this office revealed so much, and its not pretty. I read the book anyway.

No one knows how the election will turn out, I just am thankful to live in a country that I can express my thoughts and you are free to yours. Homer use to always say, " Bon, are you happy with the person, you see in the mirror?" 

Yes daddy, I am.

Brainpickings on FB is a wonderful site, I can not praise it enough.

Its free, you can donate if you choose, and its spirit lifting. If you like poetry, literature, artist, smart interesting thoughts. ( has helped me, in this covid solitude)

Also Chefs Table, on Netflex, ( I think that's the name)

 continues to fill me up!!!! It is total meditation about food, and our relationship with it. Fantastic.

Also hope you get to watch, CNN( I think) United Shades of America, by  Kamau Bell. All seasons, but this one now, is mind blowing, and important to our being whole.

Lets see, I truly don't know what I was going to write about, maybe growing my hair out gray, and each day, thinking, this is not going to work!!

Oh sweet people, keep paying attention, work hard for each other, read and enjoy the last of the summer tomatoes!! There is a crispness in the air this morning, change can be hard, but necessary.

Adaptation may come in the words of Beth Dutton, or Mr. Rogers, listen to both. 

 

August Arrives

  I love the month of August.
On the very first day, each year, I celebrate being here on this planet.
Even during these strange days of germs galore, trouble in the big house, and a hurricane skirting the east coast!! I am happy, as a clam, to be another year older.
68 sounds mature, wise and charming. That is what I will choose to think. My body makes cracking sounds, with just the turn of my head!!! I think I may have some worry lines about my face, but those could also be years of extreme laughter. I just took some Tylenol to get ready for my present tonight, my 3 and half year old grandson, Wyatt the flying monkey and rodeo clown. The toddler, is spending the night, and his UMA, that's me, is ready. We will play with every toy, go up and down steps a million times, play the piano, too loud, eat all night long, and sing every song we know!! We have adventures planned, bugs to find, water to swim in, balls to kick, hit and throw. He will be asked to go to the potty 400 times, and he knows to only pee in the ivy, where snakes live!! He makes me laugh, hard and long. Happy Birthday to me. ( I wish Adrian and Finn were here to help) ( but they are probably making hot date plans with girls and their friends, out on the boat!! Uma was young once, she understands!)
All my favorite people are August people or at least summer birthday folks!! I love um, born into the heat and humidity of life, makes you different. Strong, fierce and beautiful!!! My two boys, from my body, are end of August darlings. Made your mamas feet the size of shoe boxes!!! Summer pregnant women, have sweat on top of sweat!!! My daddy, when Ward was still inside me, told me, I looked sick!! Poisoned, yellow and huge!! ( gotta love Homer for his honesty!) Two days latter daddy told me, I had the most beautiful baby boy, and maybe he would drive to Yardly to see us now!! ( I flew home)
My girl is September born, and she leans into fall weather, but we love her still. The beach is her happy place. My older two bonus sons, February, tooooo cold for babies, and June just made it into the love fest of summer. Love all my children, the best five humans around. Smart, creative, strange, loving, calm, loud, and awesomeness, makes my 68 feel pretty darn good. One, I survived them, and I like them, so much!!
This whole blog was suppose to be about my beloved freedom fighter, John Lewis. I went south with this story. I will tell you more about him later, after I go see his burial place, and kneel down, and thank him from the bottom of my heart. I fought hard for civil rights, for many years, I will not stop ever. I am still that young girl, fighting for equal rights for all people. I heard you John Lewis, I will continue to march on, all 68 years of Bonnie left in me.
I will end this blog, on this August hot day, with a line from Mr. Lewis funereal, LOVE becomes the way we live, we will not be quiet. OK I have never been quiet, and love fills me up!!
I will double up on Good Trouble, and look forward to how many days the good lord gives me.
August is love, you had better believe it!!!! Just ask the sun!!

Yolanda, Yogurt and Angels All Around Us

 It is a Sunday in July, and I sit here, hitting all the wrong keys.
My fingernails are so long!! Covid long! Filed and painted, by me, old school long!! Almost Hollywood, Oscar carpet walk long. I have to cut them, but not this second. Or if you are reading my blog and there is a long pause, manicure time has come early.
I miss my nail people, whom I have had for thirty years, but I am trying to be safe. Mary mom is in the house, so I am extra careful. Bill, the hubby thinks, I do a good job on my nails, but what does he know???? He is just happy to have a chunk of money back in the fold!!
Little did I realize a few months back, that I would be the one giving up all the fun stuff!!
( Not true, but a small rant may be brewing!!)

I think I will be turning 68 soon, and now have been cooking like the ghost of Julia Child!! I need restaurants to come back, or my family to embrace a smoothie!! ( I like to cook, but go with my theme here!)
I am a blessed person, even during this cacophony of people, politics and idiots.
We have been going with mom to doctors, pretty often, these days. Each time, mom and I have a look that we share with each other, like "Did you see that?" "Did you hear that? Did you feel that?
Yolanda, came into the room, with a light following her. She came to take mom's blood, and left us with her gift of joy. She had just turned in her two weeks notice and was moving to Valdosta. New job, kids were grown, needed a new church, perfectly good reasons to flee Atlanta. Yo asked mom if she was from Florida, and we asked how she knew that? YoYo told us, "Its all that gold jewelry." (Mary may sport a ton of it!! down to a toe ring and anklet!!!) We laughed, and she said we were talkers!! All Florida people are talkers, is that true? OK, maybe so, there are always stories to tell, and listen too. This beautiful, black walking, talking, probably Jesus!! left the room praying and loving us. Mom and I looked at each other, with tears in our eyes, and I said, " What the heck was that magic!!"We were healed, at least, for the day.

 Same week, different test, cat scan man and football player in the waiting room. Took us to our knees. I was a little angst at how many people were in the waiting room, even though, all masks were on. Mom had closed her eyes, all this stuff takes a lot out of her, and I just need extra meds!!!! ( may be a run on sentence, or entire story) ( my angel daughter, said I was not blogging enough!)
So I took up a conversation with this darling man child, across from me. " I see from your Tee shirt that you play for West Forsyth,  and your hair is beautiful." ( Yes, I said it, Florida people talk out loud) This bight light of a young man, and I had a conversation that needed to be video taped. We discussed the world, and I needed him to know, that I was counting on him to save us." ( his mom was beside him, on her phone) The cat scan person called his name. Mom chirped up, " I could have listened to you and that child talk all day." Holding my hand over my heart, " I know, right, he was so smart and level headed, and had beautiful long hair." " He will do great things in this world, I know it." Tears in our eyes, again. Then cat scan man came for mama!!
I hear a few minutes later, " Is that her, over there, thinking she is a teenager on her phone?" Then mom squeaked out, "Bonnie!" " You have to meet this man, he is delightful." I hugged him and thanked him for treating my mom so sweet, he talked a lot, wonder where he was from!! Mom and I rolled on to the car, freaked again, of such good humans. She said, " I could have stayed there with that man, all day!!!" I had to laugh, it was an enjoyable outing, we were healed for another day.
I told Mary mom, you know I have to write about this fantastic stuff, and she said, " Don't leave anything out!!"

I try.
So I end on this note, of being blessed and kindness goes a LONG way.
Also, I am forever eating yogurt, my favorite thing in the world!! I asked my darling life partner, if he thought I was addicted to my beloved yogurt!!! ( I have eight different kinds in my fridge, right now, NOOSA lemon, is top on list, this second) The Hubs said, " There are worse things to be addicted to! You are good."
Like I said, Blessed !!