Say What You Need To Say-by John Mayer

Yesterday, while stepping out of the shower, I thought I heard Ward talking. Frozen in my tracks, listening hard. "Is it a robber or Ward"?
You see grief does not care if you are Naked or Clothed!!!! It often makes you second guess your sanity. Lucky for me, my sanity has been LOONNGG Gone!!!! My heart still stopped, for a brief second, then I just smiled. Knowing Ward was near. Talking to the animals, downstairs.
Daily life becomes even more difficult, when grief pays a surprise visit. Sometimes it rests awhile, and then pounces. Yesterday the big "G" decided to stay a spell.
Did I really hear Ward? Why doesn't he just come and sit down and talk to me? Is my mind tricking me?? I only know what I heard, and it was Ward's voice. Period.
My morning was slow moving, all my senses where on alert. I always look for signs.
So driving my 2 miles to work, I only have time to hear one song. Hopefully, its a good one, because it will be trapped in my mind all day. On this morning, John Mayer's song, Say What You Need To Say, came on the radio. I had to smile, another sign!!! You see, Ward and I said everything we needed to say. We always spoke the truth, laid our feelings out on the table!!!spread eagle!!!! The last thing said to me was, "Did you see the sign I left you on the fridge mom"? "Yes!" it said I love mom, on a pink post-it. He said, "I knew you would like it." Those were the last words I heard from my 25 year old son, until this morning!!!!
I'm so grateful, that we still say what we need to say.
" I love you Ward"

"You Should Be Dancing"-Bee Gees 1976

Yes, I should!!!
Maybe my desire to dance, has influenced my TV watching obsession with "Dancing with the Stars"!!!!!???
My generation grew up with TV, and wonderful entertainment shows. Our reality shows, were; Ed Sullivan, Mitch Miller, Lawrence Welk, Hulabaloo, American Bandstand, Hootnanny and a little SOOOUUULLL Train thrown in. I love to sing and dance, with abandon!!!!
Thus, I have wrapped my arms around American Idol and Dancing with the Stars.
Pure, simple harmony and shaking what, your momma gave you, Great shows.
Remember....my belief is that I can sing and dance!!!
Seriously, my la-la land, is Fred Astaire picked ME to be his partner.
He would have placed his hand, behind my back and twirled me like Ginger.
Now I watch the "Hunky Hunks" on Dancing, and they place that hand upon my back, and I think...that may not be all they are touching!!!! Who is Fred Astaire??
Tango, Cha-Cha, Samba, ME!!!!!
Sexy and Delicious, dancing. Beautiful costumes, and great music.
Switch channels, different night, The Idols, croon me a tune.
I'm happy,and entertained.
Plus, all little girls want to go to the Ball!!!!

WAIT......Watch Her!!!!!!!

Weight Watchers is a very good program and now its on-line!!!
My hour glass figure, has expanded with the years. So back on the W.W. wagon I go.
I like to chart my eating habits, and love weighing myself without peering eyes!!!
Who needs creepy, skinny people telling you what to do and looking at you with "Village of the Damned Eyes"
Not me, its my personal program and I'm in charge. Its very empowering to have control over what goes in your "Pie Hole"
Is it an easy program?
Is anything ever easy?? I don't think so, but this is not painful.

Giving up cigarettes 26 years ago, was monumental, surely I can steer clear of the dessert cart???

I will never be a single digit dress size, like a "7" or a "9", but I never have been.
Sometimes you just have to grab the flab , by the horns, and ride the beast of Obesity!!!
Giddy-up!!!!
Thank you weight watchers, for letting me be in charge!!!

Leprosy?

Many days, I'm reminded of "my condition".
Some people avoid eye contact with me. There is a sadness in their eyes, and also relief. They do not want me to see, but I do. Sometimes its palpable.
I want to scream, "It's not contagious"!! Grief is my life. I will never be separated from this grief, it is a huge part of my life. Most importantly, it has not killed me. Life continues. Yes, everyday, I'm haunted by my reality. I think it's all about "the love", and that's what I choose to concentrate on. Love is in communication, I have to share my grief, or it will take me. Swallow me whole, and I'm in no mood to be Jonah to the Whale!!!!!
We learn from each other. How to navigate our lives is never easy, and granted my family has been shocked and broken, but we are united in love.
There are many days, that I may be the person avoiding eye contact, I acknowledge that, grief is very lonely and isolating. Some days I'm angry that death has visited my house, and took my child. I will tell you these things, or tell you I don't feel strong enough to talk today.
Someday, someone like me, will cross your path, look at them.
We don't have leprosy, although I just looked at my arm for oozing nodules!!!!
Love is in the laughter!!!

NINE couches!!!

I had the privilege of listening to Paula Deen, being interviewed by Joy Behar recently.
Expecting recipes and cooking stories, I heard about her decorating style and new book out.
Joy asked her, " Is it true that you have a couch in the kitchen?"
KITCHEN, COUCH, this is a woman after my heart.
Miss Paula, with her slow talking, twang, "Sure honey, I want every one to be comfortable."
I felt vindicated!!!
People need a place to "Fall-Out!!!!"
Cursed and Blessed I have a LARGE house, many rooms, and they are all filled with a couch or two!!!!
I want my people, to be able to get in the "Prone" position, whenever needed.
After I make up a bed, it looks good, (remember Daddy was military, I can make up a bed!!!)
so don't touch it!!! And why would you have to, when there is a couch, calling your name!!!!
Yes, I have a couch, on my screened back porch, OH MAMA!!!! southern naps, at their best!!!!
My son, Ward, slept on a couch in his bedroom. He had a nice bed, just liked the feel of the back of the couch, holding him in so sweet. Am still unable to part with that couch, since Ward died.
Couches in my bedroom, Den, basement, computer room, All around, mi casa.
Put your feet up, and sit a spell, what an invitation!!!!
Paula Deen also said that she likes "heartbeats" in her house!!!!
Heartbeats and Couches, now that is HOME to me.

Sweet Tea with Lemon

What is a Tea Party, or is it called The Tea Bag Party???
Just pour me a tall, cold glass of sweet tea with lemon, that will work!!!
Poem
Tea Bag Party
Seems Like Fun.
I think though,
They have come undone!!!!!
by bonnie baron


It is very hard to look at politics from both sides. There is no, one size fits all, opinion.
Especially when, the divide, seems so enormous.
I love my party, and I'm sure the other side does also.
I'm reminded when reading various snippets on Facebook, that the crevice is bigger than I imagined.
I also ponder, at how little I know about friends and relatives, whom I have known FOREVER!!!
How can anyone I know and love, could go to a Tea Party, or even think about being a Republican!!! ( I feel a little nauseated thinking about this stuff!)
I think everyone I love, should be a liberal democrat, like me. That is just not the case. I have many friends that do not share my political views, and I still continue to try and rescue them from their misfortune!!!!
How do I find some peace?
Can't, so I'll have another glass of tea.

50 Years of MOTOWN!!!!

My Bill discovered my love of Motown the hard way.
One, newly wed morning, I came down our stairs for a cup of coffee.
Hubby Bill handed me my special cup, and screeched out, Marvin Gaye died!!!
"WHAT!" a blood curdling scream came out, and I began to flail, coffee flying.
Sobbing, I tried to explain , you have to ease into these things with me, especially death of anyone that I love!!!! You need to know I have a history with Motown, they are a part of my life!!!!
Smokey and The Miracles, Martha and The Vandellas, Marvin, The Supremes, Mary Wells, Gladys Knight and The Pips, Four Tops and the Temptations, all the artist played on my little transistor radio.
Sweltering summers in Florida, no air conditioner, the music cooled me down.
I would prop my radio in the window, to get better reception. Dancing in the Streets raised me to my feet, and Tears of a Clown caused me to sway, slow dancing.
I was Diana Ross with the SUPREME moves. Marvin made me feel ...weak in the knees.
Mr. Gordy, thank you for exposing this young southern white girl, to music that touched my soul.
My husband , of almost 30 years, never forgot the lesson he learned that Motown Day!!!!

Tell wife to sit down before I spring bad news on her, to avoid hearing her life history!!!! Always remember she has "Drama" issues!!!!!!