Is A List Enough?

 Early this am, I read my Substack, Isolation Journals. 99% of the time, maybe 100%, a prompt

that causes me to pause, think, write and write some more. Today was the Day. 2,200 Lists Later was Suleika's title. I love lists, scraps of things, that I need to buy, do, or just remember. I am typing

now from yellow post it notes. No order, just quick words, spilling from my brain at all hrs or day or night. Makes me so happy.

I have a friend, Jamie Romano, who keeps a book of quotes. So beautiful is her handwriting, and so organized her entries. She even makes some of her own journals and gives them as gifts.

I have good friends that we discuss memories with, some vault worthy. Like how did all the surfers that we grew up with, hippies maybe, high yes, turn into MAGA people. I was trying to explain this to my husband, this week retuning from heart doctor!! I named names, and stories. I told him when I get home, I'm calling Susan, because you do not know about Lee Carrolls Bedroom activities!! Or Jeff Owens teaching me to surf, these are notes!!Lists.

I have another group of girlies that love movies, and TV and books.We have lists of people ( OK maybe male people) to whom we may have a strong desire to sleep with, details included. Dirty, filthy hair, Natty and I dont mind, I think Purlotta is cleaner!!! we all agreed on Paul Mescal!! in a jack flash minute, Timothee  is on the fence right now. We all agree on Swifter dusters for sure. 

Family Lists, lord have mercy, those have a journal book of their own. Growing up in the south, I have massive amounts of stories, my lists are long. We sit our crazy on the front porch and offer them a drink. Wonderful stories of all on relatives, WONDERFUL aunties and cousins.

My life is made up, put together with many lists, scraps of ribbon and threads of love.

I consider all, good material.

Happy Sunday

Mom, You Need To Blog.

I have not blogged on Stop Talking Aunt Lucille, for a long time. I write in six journals, and on Substack, Isolation Journals . Write poetry and grocery lists, but I hand write blogs for days like this one, angels.

Books consumed my summer and have run into winter, so I thought now I would give you a taste. 

Note: three books I got for Christmas but did not highlight or review were, An Artists Life by by Mary Whyte, Women Holding Things by Maira Kalman, Wise Women by Joyce Tennison. Two good friends sent me these jewels, and they are a must read for all women. AND you can offer to male humans, but.....I think they are for Women only. ( I also got a pair of earrings made out of baseball leather, from The Roswell Barons, that blew me away.) All the above were my favorite Christmas gifts. OH and some vintage jewelry, and granola that thrilled me. I have the best girlfriends!!!

Now to books I picked out.

1.They Left Us Everything by Plum Johnson.  What Your children need is a good depression.

Our parents didn't see us from dawn to dusk.

Same family. Our memories are all different, our experiences unique.

2.Hamnet by Maggie O'Farrell ( My favorite book and movie) She is unmoored,  She grows up with the awareness  that she is merely tolerated. The words seem to slide down the page, as if they weigh more at the end of a sentence than at the beginning.

3.Things in Nature Grow by YiYun Li (very sad) Call it aching, call it wrenching or call it shattering. I am in an abyss. I don't want ad end point to my sorrow. That a mother can no longer mother her children won't change the fact that her thoughts are mostly a mothers thoughts.

4. The Mad Wife by Meagan Church. Stories have a way of finding us at just the right time, or sometimes at the most fragile moments. Another woman lost to the epidemic of nerves mixed with boredom. Mama sometimes called me obstinate. (My Mom called me, too sensitive, hard headed and too much imagination) ( schooled just said, I talked too much!)

5.Everything Happens For A Reason by Kate Bowler. I have taken up cursing for lent. Joy persists somehow and I soak it in.

6.The Lost Book Shop by Evie Woods.

7. Growing up Jacksonville.

8. Theo of Golden by Allen Levi

9. Bread of Angels by Pattie Smith

All of these are good , but Theo of Golden pretty special. I also Love all Patti Smiths books.

I need to close and go see my beloved dentist, yuck. It is grey outside, raining and no leaves on the trees yet. Melancholy hovers near, but I do see some Daffodils!! When Happiness shows up give it a comfortable seat and a good book.

So come on, Virginia, show me a sign........

 Send up SIGNAL, I'll throw you the line

The stained-glass curtain you're hiding behind

Never lets in the sun

One of my favorite songs of all times, by Billy Joel.

I have had the pleasure of seeing him in concert many times. My first time seeing him, was 1972 or 73, at the gymnasium at JU (Jacksonville University) 

Seriously, I sat on a bleacher, and kids were on the floor, and there was a tiny 

We did not know this young kid, but we liked to listen to all singers and bands, that did not cost much money to see. We were young and broke, with good ears. When Billy started to play, The Piano Man, I fell out, I stood up and looked at Nick, and said, " Write down this guy's name, he has IT "

I could not breathe (and it wasn't from the pot, inside J.U.) (well maybe) (I think we were all a tad high to begin with) (another story, we were young!!! Boones Farm young) I sat in the car, told my date to not start the car, I felt faint. This Billy Joel took my heart, and I'm nervous (always a little dramatic) (But...I was serious) What if this is the second coming of Jesus, and that is the last I will hear of the boy?? What if I love him so much, and want to travel the world to see him? NICK.....not paying attention, I hit the dashboard, did you like him? Sure, he said. ( red flag number one) (another story, he was just tooooo young) (but very sweet) I was head over heels, with this New York, Jewish angel, with a song to sing to me. (yes he was singing to me)

Years, many years, go by. I saw him many times, hung on his every lyric and melody. Learned he was not just mine, and I accepted that.? He was a poet to me, my other Jewish boyfriend Bob Dylan, and Paul Simon, hung back for few years. I have a massive group of people I love, these boys all have their own spot in my heart.

Many Many years later, I tell my husband of 45 years (who knows me VERY WELL) Billy Joel has a new documentary out, two nights, I think its long. HBO, here I come. Sitting at full attention, looking nice for my TV date (you never know with AI and computers) (He could see me) My lipstick is on, and my hand is over my heart. I tell Bill, they may show him at J.U., you may see me? (hope not, I had on a tube top and cut off shorts!!!!) (I know, at a concert!!) (we were young) 

There he is, young Billy Joel, and old man Billy Joel, I love them both. All the songs, the stories, the many wives!! I knew it all, but I like him telling the story and seeing his process to write, a catalog of magic. I think it was 6 hrs long, maybe 8, not sure. I will watch it again; in case I missed something.

I woke Bill, and told him, I think Billy Joel may have been hard to live with. So, I think I dodged a bad husband. 

Slow down, you crazy child

You're so ambitious for a juvenile

Vienna waits for you!!!! oh my goodness, how thankful I am to be born into this world with this music in my life. I turn 73, this Friday. I realize Billy Joel is just a few years older than me. Thank you, young man, for holding me so close, with just a few chords!!

I love you just the way YOU ARE.

Every Picture Tells a Story? Does it?

In the past week or so, Facebook, posted a fantastic photo of a friend of mine. Doug Griffin holding his surfboard, posted by The North Jetties group in Florida. (a huge spot for surfing, in my youth, and today, maybe?) I came upon it, and smiled, gosh Doug is so sweet in this photo, holding his beloved board. I replied, Great Photo.

Never in a trillion years, did I think to read anything into this photo. I had assumed, (mistake) that it was a surfing buddy, or his wife Paula had posted a recent good photo. Later in the day, I saw that this posting had others commenting, so I looked. RIP was written, on a comment. I LOST it!! No where did it say he passed, so I asked if he was dead or alive. I got several answers of YES. YES what?? Finally, Harriet sent me the article, that talked of Doug's passing. Cancer had consumed another precious human. I had a clarification, of something that I honestly did not want to hear. I was sick. 

I could hear my mother talking, when she lived with us, before her death. " Bonnie, you are just about the age when you start losing friends." she alerted me. " Mom what a thing to say, we are all young and here now!" That was two years ago, and mom has died. I told her, " Speaking to the heavens, you are right mom!! but you didn't have to warn me." 

 This mild mannered, darling boy is gone. The grown man, who comforted me about the death of my son, Ward, age 25. He softly listened to my grief and asked questions from his heart. We talked about his life and mine; it had been years since we had exchanged even a hello at a high school reunion. He reached out, at a time, when people stayed away. Grief scares people, and loss of a child is a big Grief. Doug Griffin, held my pain, so I could breathe a minute.

Now I have to hold my grief of losing him.

At one of our reunions, I ran to Doug, (maybe walked fast) and he held my face. No words were spoken. Once again, I knew he continued to hold me. 

We were all so happy, when he married Paula. She anchored him, and continued to let him shine.

He was not perfect, thank goodness. He was very imperfect and filled with joy. I don't want perfect; I do want Doug to still be here. 

I cannot say Good-Bye, it just does not seem the right fit.

I love you Doug Griffin and that's it. I hope you carry with you all our love. I can see you in the hall of Andrew Jackson, near your locker. You turn and smile at me, no words needed. My friend for a LONG time, I'm smiling back.

  Jesus, my wheel is broken, but please continue to take hold of it for me. I trust your direction, but I don't have to like it.

My love to Paula, family and friends. Send him off with good music, love and a smile.

Much Love

Bonnie Blackman Baron

Technique Is What Happens When You Run Out of Inspiration-Rudolf Nureyev

 I have seven notebooks filled with words and thoughts. Now to piece them together for a blog. After so many months. (time out, I have to take off my bracelet) 

Let's start with Olympics, from my beloved France.

My favorite thing so far, has been Snoop Dogg, and the real goat at the golf course. I give them both 10 stars. Snoop is delightful, and the goat was just trying to get closer to the ball, the course backed up to a farm. Several workers of the course had had the animal surrounded, and looked at each other, thinking "Now What??" Big smile from yours truly.

Each morning, yes very early, we watch something on the Telly. I wake up ranting a tad, to my husband, who thinks the Olympics are serious stuff. (I think that they are different) One morning it was Badminton, Isn't that lawn games in summer?  What time is Croquet? I want jump rope and Jacks added to that day.

Next am I saw a floor exercise person, almost flung off the matt! Well now, I'm a wreck. I hollered to my angel husband, " This is like watching a car wreck in Daytona!!" Then horse jumping was on, I could watch the horses, be beautiful. A happy face came to me. Until one horse hit three bars or beams, whatever they're called, and down I went. Can not watch this either. Soccer too slow, I watched all of tennis, but I watch tennis each day of my life. Womens basketball is fun, swimming, not happening. Diving, can't watch, thanks Greg Louganis. Boxing, breakdancing??? skateboarding??? I know there is a card game going on somewhere, Go Fish! I love the opening and closing ceremonies. They inspire me. I saw where I had sat in the Tuileries Garden, so often during our stay in Paris. It was spring and beautiful and my spot. I read daily, praying for a ray of sunshine. I hope they did not move my chair for that big lighted balloon looking thing!!! Bring me the ballet, of people watching. Now that I will pay for.

Hmmm..you know that I have not even touched my notebooks, let me look a minute.

You can love a memory, but a memory cannot love you back. Not sure about this quote, I found in a book I am reading, about the elderly. (that is us, peeps) Book called ELDERHOOD by Louise Aronson.

Wonderful book, people should start reading it around 50, I wish I had. However, in my early 70's it's still great. OK, About the quote, I think memories do love me back. Most, Not All, comfort me, cause me to clutch my heart, inspire me, make me question some things, and accept the memory as it is. Joy wrapped in the madness of life. How do we grow older and not be bitter or show dread?? Heck, It is another job. There is no retiring from! I look forward to each moment, good, medium or Hallelujah!!

This book is good.

Another one I have read, is My Beloved Monster by Caleb Carr. Written from the cat's view, told by his caretaker. Very different and if you know cats, it is soooooo Cat like!!

Ok last little quip from my notebook, I only have seven left to go through.

You do not need to fill up the whole day. This just jumped out at me, people are so busy, and chaotic. They make me nervous. Planned up the ying yang, controlled and loose change. Just leave some room, for things to happen, to look around at the beautiful and the not so pretty. Pay attention, take a mini nap, right now we have had a hot summer. Rejoice in the heat, it bakes the meanness out of you, or causes you to snap, Your choice!!!

Until next time, my gentle reader (watched season 3 of Bridgerton at least 6 times!)

Love August Birthday people.

Bonnie love coming your way

Do Not Lie in the Wreckage

 You lie down, you lay something down/object!!!

This is why  SAT tests were not my delight. I will argue, that you lay your body down, that is an object. 

Above title is correct.

I think that I read that, in Isolation Journals by Suleika Jaouad. Substack App. (Wonderful site)

(thank you Purwin for your info)

We all have some personal wreckage, that we just have to step out of. I have luckily stepped out of a few car wrecks, heart break wrecks, death happening to loved ones wreckage, or long dark days of winter!!

I have not been able to write, read very little and no painting this winter. The cold and gloom, after Christmas lights, do a number on me. We also have a new grandchild, Jack, that brings joy. He comes after many months of uncertainty. Hard pregnancy for my Emma, and delivery, and post delivery!! I think I was just SPENT!! Drained, and winter got me.

Its February now, and I can breathe knowing that sunny days will be coming, and my sense of hope returns. I need light. My primary doctor, loves to see me this time of year, do we increase meds!!?, No, says I, I need some sunshine. She smiles. I have been cursed with daddy's bone density but blessed with his sense of humor, win for me. Mom blessed me, with the love of lipstick, writing, and gift giving, while the horrible gift of worry about everything also came from her. I think I have hung onto their best gifts, and added some of my own. 

We all have to not lie in the wreckage, of DNA sometimes!!!

My doctor told me to go somewhere warm, I told her I was headed to Boston, to continue my cold weather blues. However I will be seeing my big boys Keith and Brian, and most importantly grandsons Adrian and Finn. Its Adrians senior year of high school, and we wanted to see his last few basketball games, and Finn Baron made the varsity basketball team, as a freshman, so joy will be had!!!  I like to eat breakfast with them, at this little place in Marblehead, next to our rental house, that serves the best banana pancakes I have ever had. Also, a cup of coffee that will hold a spoon upright in it!!!

Family either puts you in wreckage or pulls you out, often both. Many times, a good therapist, Jesus and prayer beads!!are needed.

Music also is my lifeline, The Grammy's last night, took me to my knees. Joni Mitchell has been a part of my life for so long, and she held me to her heart, with each note. Billy Joel, is another big player in my life of rescue, sang a new song, about Leaving the Lights On, sounded very familiar. I was not sorry about that either, felt like home. John Batise took me to church, as usual, he is anointed, as my Aunties would say. AND Tracy Chapman singing Fast Car, with a famous country singer, whom I do not know, was a balm to my soul. Music and Smart people, creative, giving, loving, people will most likely be the blessings to raise your spirits. At least mine, though in some grandchildren and sunshine, I am good to go.

Enjoy your day, do not lie in any wreckage, crawl out and start dancing. Works wonders.

 

Weekend at Bernie's or Rosemary's Baby?

  I have not blogged all summer or early fall, my plate has been full-UP!!!

The husband, had Aortic aneurysm surgery, in his lower abdomen, sometime in these months.

He is doing good, me, not so much!! Nerves shot!! but thankful for sure.

AND my daughter, one and only, became pregnant, yeah, and went into the hospital in Tampa, for seven weeks, High Risk for anything to happen. They sold their house, moved in with, The Parents, ( that is us!!) She continued bed rest and weekly, high risk doctor appointments, her husband started a new job.

I have no nerves left, they left the building.

November 19, Baby Jack was born, after a long, horrific labor. Beautiful black hair, tiny miracle baby.

They should be leaving the hospital today, I hope. Photos to come, after their little family, makes the birth announcement. There were several health things going on with mother and baby, but I think today, they may get a green light.  (You know in the back side of my head, I'm waiting for the other shoe to fall) My devotion for the last several days, weeks, months, have told me, in faith, to trust my lord and do not worry. I tell him, that I have left all my worries at the foot of the cross, and that is just not happening inside my head!!! I love Jesus, and he knows my heart, but I have tried to teach him about my anxiety scale!! I look around the room, and ask him, " I know you are here!!" " Can you just put your hand on the back of my neck, and release that shooting pain of stress running up and down my spine?" He smiles a lot at me, and I think hands me over to Mary, who tells me, " Go get your beads, Bon!" " Pray without ceasing." 

Thanksgiving is here, and honestly, I don't know how it got here. I have very little memory of summer; I think it may have been super-hot.  

My brother Benjie and his wife, Linda were just here, which is always a blast. In fact, this was the second visit in just a few weeks, He knew, sister needed him. Both Bill and Linda, our better halves, hang onto every word we say. Every story we tell, and we have a million!! they look in awe of our ability to remember, embellish, act out, and fall out in fits of laughter. 

From swill runs, on the back of Poppys truck, to visiting graveyards every Sunday, this was entertainment for people in the south with no money!! Of course we had the beach for free, and church, those were out other social activities. We had no air conditioner, one bathroom, and played outside until the street lights came on. We would compare bug bites, and any other cuts or stepping on nail stories, to see which kid had the best day. Our Knees looked like a war zone, from skating, and we each had a story to tell mom, why we did not need to go to the ER, or want mercurochrome spread on us!!! I was the oldest, so I got the bath water first, then Trudy, last the boys got the same water, and they could have cared less!!! At times, yes, we even took a bath where they cleaned hogs, it was a thrill!! How clean we got, well, I would say we sparkled!!

All my aunts and Uncles gave us so many stories, Benjie said I did Aunt Frances, so well. I told him Thanks, just as she would have said it!!" BEN-JAY DARLING CHILD, THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, PRECIOUS ANGEL.NOW HONEY, CAN YOU GET MY PACK OF CIGS, WHEREVER THEY ARE!! OH SAL-LAY WHERE ARE MY CIGGIES!"

OK, now the title of the blog, I started in June.

My only political opinion, period, 

I would take Weekend at Bernie's (Joe) set him up in a corner, and have strong people to help him, or us, make good and fair policies for the nation over Rosemary's Baby (you know who) Satan in the flesh. Or his demon companions. 

Someone on Facebook, recently said " What are you all scared of?" I wanted to say, " Iam scared in every cell in my body that you would ask that question?"

OK Political rant over, I cannot take on all this chaos right now, I have a new grandson.

I need my strength, four grandsons for Uma.

My neck feels a little better, thank you Big Man in the Sky, don't go anywhere, I am a work in progress, and highly favored, I know. Blessed and I will pass it on. That baby in the manger, reminds me every day, that the cross is empty, and I have a friend in Jesus. LA-ORD STAY CLOSE!!! ( I do sound like Aunt Frances!!!!!

Haiku To You, Minus Two Marbles

 I never blog in the afternoon, so hang on!! This may go off the rails..

Library visit this week, 10 random reads, because no reason. My Kindle has 10 books to read at all times, because it makes me nervous not to have a list going!! Ready at all times.

The library was great fun, Hubs looked up the books for me, and yelled the numbers that I should be looking in!! There was not a soul in the place, but we were kinda loud. (Old Person rights!!) " IS THAT 809.2" ?? whispered me, nah!!  " I found it, now look up poets, of all kinds!" its a small library, he was only a few aisles over. I need a card catalog system, the computer looked sticky!!

I got this one book on Haikus, and I have so much fun. I have always liked a good Haiku, the 5-7-5 rule. I never knew that it could be random lines or even one word. How it is written on the page, it is just delightful.  Subjects, techniques, forms, allusions, all to the beat of the drummer, writing them.

It's a living genre, enjoying its evolution.  

The Book is Haiku in English

The First Hundred Years by Jim Kacian, Philip Rowland, and Allan Burns

(Yes I have dog eared the pages, I will iron them back) 

Ezra Pound

The apparition of these faces in the crowd;

Petals on a wet, black bough.

Gunther Klinge

Indian summer. 

Even a small affection

has its urgency.

Scott Montgomery

her silence at dinner

sediment

hanging in the wine.

Ann Atwood

dead center

in the center of her flowers

GEORGIA  O'KEEFFE

Jane Reichhold

Autumn

taking a dirt road

to the end.

I could go on and on, each page a heart stopping sigh of beauty. E.E. Cummings wrote his vertically.

There were a few 5-7-5 Haiku's, but it was rare, and isn't that wonderful,

 evolution is amazing, even in poetry. Caroline Kennedys book, She Walks in Beauty. Long, long poetry, but beautiful ones picked from her heart. Some of these books are old, but poetry stands the test of time. Thank you, Mrs. Wells, for guiding me to love it. (and I forgive you for sending me downstairs so often for my dress or skirt being so short!)

Now turn, the other morning, I was putting on my face, and had a great idea about my art studio and I was running it by Hubs, he liked it also. I went into my other bedroom, (I have four upstairs, that are now mine, all the babies have gone) to get dressed feeling pretty smart, when I looked down at the dress I had on, and it looked funny. I felt for the tag, I had it on right, it was off looking. I started looking around the room and there it was, MY BRA!!!! I have worn a bra since the third grade, I do not know what it is to not wear one, and I forgot to put it on!! I said to myself, " Well, you are two marbles short today!" How many marbles are left? I need to hang onto to these pearls rolling around in my head. I put on my bra and the dress was perfect, I just laughed, and thought. Blog material, its all a story, every word, thought, movement, good or bad. It doesn't have to have the right number of syllables in order, its all good. Just write it down.

Life people, you control your narrative. 

BARBIE MOVIE, Thank You Greta, Next Time Throw in My Hamster, Snowy.

  

  I have some issues, phobias, quirks, but they are all mine and I claim them.

One of them is movie theaters. After the massive shooting, a few years ago, I feel nervous.

I watch people, I have a hard time paying attention to the movie, I have even left a movie, just overwhelmed. Has it stopped me, not really, but it did steal some joy. My life has always been at the movies, my father loved movies. He took me to see Davy Crocket, at age 5, I think. Took me home, because I had to go to the bathroom, and I would not go in the bathroom, by myself. (so maybe this movie issue started earlier then I think!!) We went to the drive-in, a lot, again during The Birds, poking out people's eyes and Dracula, I wanted people to walk with me to the bathroom!! No one would, Dad or Mom, I think they thought they would miss something. Mom usually caved, but it was daddy that usually would take us, so we were on our own.

All my dates and friends time was at the movies, it was our thing. Then when James Bond and other mature movies would come out, we all would go, and the first curse word, mom went to the lobby!!

We all stayed and watched the film, and she would be so angry, that we did not follow her cause!!

Everything was not The Sound of Music!!! 

Back to Barbie, I had been putting it off, but one day, I told Bill to get ready, we are going.

Midday, few people and I was ready. I have a very personal relationship with Barbie, I remember the day and time of day, she came into my life. In the black and white swimsuit and high heels, beautiful.

1959 or 60, not sure, but it was my birthday and I have never believed in waiting for the day of, to get your present. So I would ask, and beg, for my early gift and I think Trudy told mom to just give it to me. (God Bless Her) It was the begining of a lifelong love of Barbie. 

So, when the Movie began, a few minutes in, there she is, my Barbie in her swimsuit, big screen size. I had to clutch my heart, and tell Bill, "There she is."

Then there was the Barbie car, on the screen. My Barbie car was on my side porch, where I played because the concrete floor was so cool. My hamster Snowy was out there also, so he played Barbie with me. In fact, he took over my Barbie car, moved in!!Took all his food and floor shavings into the floor of the car, took over. Forget his cage, he was living large. Until the next day, and I noticed Barbies foot was chewed off. I sent him back to the cage, and went out back to hose out his junk, so Barbie could ride again. All of her cute shoes were worthless to me now, but I still like to see them and touch them, and remind her even one on one foot, looks pretty good. The sunglasses were the bomb!!  Her purses, clothes, hats, and then there was Ken. Maybe came that Christmas, but I can tell you the truth, he did not look like Ryan Gosling!!! I would watch Ryan sleep!! Ken not so much, his hair was like fuzz painted on. One time I tried to get some ink off his face and went up into his hairline and there went the hair!!! My Ken was always just a friend. I think Barbie may have liked my brothers GI Joe better. Barbie and I did not need Ken anyway, Trudy, my sister, got Midge one year, and she came to live with me. Trudy hated dolls, and her sister, ME, loved dolls and stuffed animals. The Movie was silly and joyful, and their bodies moved like dolls. I loved seeing all the Barbies grow into great careers and still be beautiful, from farmers, to doctors, teachers and astronauts, Barbie was and is, perfect. I think even her boobies changed through the years, to please all of us who have, and have not.

I loved the movie, and My Husband loved the movie, and if you didn't like it, that's ok, I guess you never had a Barbie Doll like mine. I love the dancing and singing, and an hour or so, of lovely childhood memories. AND who doesn't like a PINK movie!! Delightful, thankful for Greta and all the cast, for taking a big chance, my heart is happy. 

Now Mattel, if you can make a Ryan Gosling doll, sign me up!! I know there is a Barbie doll in my house somewhere. Maybe even one with both feet!! I still love you Snowy.

She finally stopped going, and Daddy too. TV had all that they wanted.

Books and Barbie, with A Hamster Thrown In

 

 Summer is in its last ray of glory, August will be here and gone in a blink.

My husband, however says, that is not true, summer is just beginning??? He is from Buffalo, New York, no more words needed!!!

I have lived at the PT building all summer, sciatica, knees, shin splints, throw in a little ankle pain. All left leg, after a few falls. Have been in pain flux for about two years, ( feels like thirty) but this guy, my PT person, is helping soooooo much. I can not move a muscle right now, just fingers!! He has hands like my brother Tommy. Big and Strong, maybe too strong, but he just smiles when I spaz out!!! I had dry needling, and it worked, so we will see. I think I may need to be hooked to two horses and pulled, in different directions, Mr. PT thinks that may be possible!!!

Now back to my blog, after I get Bill to put a fan in this room, I need circulating air.

I have read two books, in the past month, two ready to go, are Half Broke Horses by Jeanette Walls and The House We Grew Up In, by Lisa Jewell. Demon Copperhead, finished and Women of The New Testament by Joyce Koo Dalrymple.

Barbara Kingsolver, my favorite author, for her first, say five books. She got married, and I did not like her next four or so books, broken hearted. My penpal, she was off my reading list, until Demon Copperhead, I gave her another looky loo. For thirty pages, I told my husband, she is back, I'm so happy. Then I sat out back, on the deck, for a binge read and I looked around outside to see if someone was playing a trick on me. Where are you going in this book, Barbara? I kept reading, it was torture, not a highlight that called me to save. I did not care about the characters, or reaching the end, but I did. I could not grab hold of anything, but I will share the beginning.

1. Most families would sooner forgive you for going to prison than moving out of Lee County( or Duval!)

2.Teach Satan some cute puppy tricks, while you're at it.

3.Could spend the rest of my life asking which it was, suicide or accident. No answer on that line.

4.Face like a country ham, chest like a cement block.

5.If you ever met a middle school girl, you know what they are: volcano eruptions of bullshit.

6. It's football. Take that out of high school, It's church with no Jesus.

7.I was living like a flat tire.

8.like kyarn, rotten meat. ( My father used the word kyarn a lot)

9. I was counting up hardships nailing me to the cross I'd dragged down this road.

That ended around page 47, the flow and the adjectives, stopped. The similes, metaphors, logic, character development, over. Not Everyone gets a Poison Wood Bible in their lifetime, but her early books, I have read several times. God Bless her, for 47 pages, I still think, she is a brilliant writer, just not this time.

Other book I picked up, was to support a friend's sister. I thought it was a book, book. Reading, but it was a workshop book, lessons, questions and work!!! I frowned, but dove in. I love a good course in learning. This book required me to get my Bible off the Mantel, and read someone's words, that they think Jesus may have said. I was very proud that women were even mentioned in the Bible.  Matthew, Mark, Luke and John are basically the same story written a tad different. There were other books in the Bible that you needed to look at, so that helped change it up. I think I will send the author my book and answers, I study all religions, I like to learn. To just answer questions about The New Testament was enjoyable, but my answers are probably very different than people who believe that the Bible is the holy word of God. I don't fear God, or think that he would judge who needed his help first, as in the Lazarus story. Mary the mother, Mary Mag, sitting at Jesus Feet? We have to remember the times that these stories were written in. Serving food and cleaning his feet were probably what men expected. I don't know for sure, I just know, that some people followed him and some didn't. I do follow Jesus, he knows me. My life was not changed by this book, but it was a very nice, looks into women in the Bible. It caused me to re-read many books of the Bible again. I still think that Mary told Joseph that this barn, is the pits, and tell the kings and Sheppard's, to take off their garments and make my baby a bed. If an Angel comes down while you are sleeping, to tell you, that you are carrying the Christ child, you don't just say, OK!!! She believed, Blessed Mary that she was/is. I tell The Good Lord, daily, Thank You for dropping me in the time period that you did!!All the women in the New Testament should be Sainted!! In fact all women period!! What a force of nature and joy, we are. ThankYou Joyce, for reminding me of that. Now my question to you? Will you do an Old Testament Women in The Bible book, I'm in.

I have been too long at the keys, so I need to wrap it up, Barbie and Hamster will come tomorrow.

I promise, and thats Iffy!! I will get to it. Its written, and good.

love

B

Char Cooter Tree

 Charcuterie, I give all people and objects new names.

Perlotta, Bernaious, Tetanus, Squiddly, TrudyBell, Worm, Leigh Leigh, and the list is long.

Neighbors growing up, Ladies were first name or Aunt Dot! No relations. Willa Mae, Jean, Patsy, some men too Tom, Arthur, Homer, Doug. The "sir "and "mam"

 thing, did not sit with me. I knew at age 4 that we had lost the war, give up some of this stuff. We often, and still do call cousins by both names, Nicky Brown, Tommy Simmons, Tommy Blackman, Mike Ross, Jane Anders, ( sometimes leave off married names!! Some friends have many names, Brooks Anne, B.A., Bird Woman.

Now in my young seventies, I am even more freely calling things whatever comes through the word center in my brain, and hope for the best. Now you have to get on board, when I use one word to describe a movie, book, food, and I am so happy.

Me to Bill, " What was the name of that movie, with the blonde guy in it?" " There was water and birds, or ducks, or swans?" " I'm not sure you even saw it?" " Well, he is in a new movie, I want to see". Bill replied, " What Channel? " Softly I speak, " I don't know, I cannot even remember his name." I tell him its ok, let me get a sip of water. " Blondie from, The Notebook!!" Bill, " You want to see the Notebook?" " Oh for the love of Jesus, NO, what is Ry Rys name?" 

Ageing gracefully, nada.

Mothers Day, Bill had all my blogs put into two volumes of books. Published my fantastic thoughts, words and deeds. For about 14 years, blogging away, was a therapy tool for giant, on the floor, grief. Then it continued to just be a diary of such, daily life, that for some reason I just wanted to put down, and I did. 700 pages in first book, 400 in second, I told my kids, that all he really needed to do was print the titles!! That is a book on its on, I was howling laughing at the Titles, and I cherish them. Some of you may have even given me the title, you will not be be receiving any money, for the books are only published for me, one copy, Reese Witherspoon and Orah may get the PDF file, you never know??  You always had the ruby slippers on, you can read all my old blogs, on my blog, just go to each year. 

So, I put these huge books on the dining room table to read, and so much heartache and laughter,

engulfs me. I remember each word, the way my body felt while writing them. Life is hard, you  just have to work with it. My Father, Homer Blackman, Sonny, Daddy, Pop Pop, gave me my sense of humor, and for that I am so grateful. Adaptation is real, or you are stuck in past mistakes and heartaches. Thank you to all whom have been a huge part of my life and may or may not be in a blog or two or twenty. Just this past year, number 2 child, Brian wanted to know when he would make it into my blog!!! I felt like he has been in a few, but I will check. Some may not have liked all that I have said, and that's OK. Your choice to read or not read, there is no Ban on my blog, But don't share with that Governor of Florida, what's his name?? De Santa Maria?? Del La Bad hair dye. 

A few weeks back, I woke up at 5am, a little late for me, dropped a tiny red pill on the floor, ugh!! I will never find that. I found it with my foot, and picked it up with my foot!! Very skilled and happy.

5:10 am found a lost natural sponge for painting, that I have been looking for a long time. Count me happy!!

5:30 light comes on, Thank you Alexa, for being in charge of all the lights in the house!! Plus, Plus.

5: 45 ish, Tennis on TV at our house, all day, everyday. Glory comes in the morning!

6am I like the watercolor piece, I did yesterday, Joy in the process!!

Still 6 ish, husband brings me coffee in bed, daily, Coffee and Husband are great.

I am just letting you know; you are in charge of the narrative. Pay attention, Ooze thankfulness,

Start your day off good, Optimistic!!! You cannot succeed your way out of pain, Bruce Springsteen!!! 

Love Love Love 

Bonnie

 

Call Me Rose

This is a blog I wrote on Wednesday morning. Still works for today. 

Rose Kennedy went to church every morning, after she locked a few kids in the closet for time out. Today I am Rose.

Wednesday on Holy week, I need church every day.

Rose from The Titanic could have rescued Jack. What about the missionary position? I would have saved you young Jack. Today Iam Rose.

Gypsy Rose Lee, the name says it all. Momma Mary told me, " Only Gypsies and Street Walkers (not zombies, Bay Street Hookers!!) had their ears pierced. Today I am a Gypsy Rose!! 

Rosa Parks, Yes I will sit anywhere on this bus period!! Rosa you are with me today also.

Rosemary Clooney, Rose M, you are coming to church also, we both know that I can sing like the bird that I am. "Come on to My House!" (Thank you, mom and dad, for turning me onto Peggy Lee, Rosemary Clooney, Patti Page)

Early in the morning, these thoughts are rolling out of my head, I sprint from the bathroom to find paper and pen.

I return to the bathroom for slapping on my makeup. I holler to Bill, the husband, "I need to go to church!" There is a 9am service, wait its 6 am, I can make the 7:30 rapture of Holy Week. Lipstick on!!!

Today my name is Bonnie Rose Baron, just call me Rose for the day. All these ladies will have a candle lit today, A candle for all women. My relatives, friends, living or gone, will be lifted up today by me.

Last minute add on, Purwin's Ro, I got you girl!!

I will be on my knees, in thanksgiving for all my blessings, prayer, grace, sacred, holy, anointed words and offerings. I will also carry my electric lighter, its faster!!!!! 

Its Holy Week, Passover, take time to listen. 

(did I get to church??) ( Yes on my back deck, planting flowers) ( but I did lift you all up to the holy sky) 

Today is Thursday, church, no, will go Saturday, I like the quiet on Saturday evening.

Make church where you are standing, and in your actions. 

Life lesson for the day

Bonnie Rose

Momma Said, "............................."

          "If you kaint say anything nice about someone, don't say anything at all!!"(really mom??)

Daddy said, " Lay IT ALL out on the table!!" 

These precious people, so different and both right. Miss them everyday.

This past week, my cousin Becky died. Some knew her as Ellen, Rebecca, Mom, Sister, daughter, friend. She will always be Becky to me. A few months separated us in age. An entire lifetime separated us as adults. For all my life we were stuck together at the hip, I think Adah ( Aunt ALice Brown) liked me to play with Becky all the time, so she would not fight with Nicky, or herself. Oil and Water, sometimes just does not mix.

From birth to maybe our late twenties, we did everything together. 

Spent most of my nights at Bruce Street or Becky at Kenmore Street. Rode our bikes back and forth to each other's houses. Church, whenever the door was open!! I think we may have been the only children to have Reverent King stop the Sunday night service to tell Mary and ALice ( our moms) to come get us, we were laughing too much. Also on many a Sunday church service, we called out hymns to sing, Old Rugged Cross and In The Garden, or I come to the Garden. We never changed our choices, never. Dr. King would soon not call on us, but this went on for a long time. Movies, Beach, Lake, Camps, Chorus, School, Farm, everyday together.

Becky was an accident waiting to happen. From birth, momma said. Hardships, and toll followed her. I think she followed it. Lost her eye, with a sliced phone cable wire, using it for tug of war. Took a hatchet to cut wood one day, half of her foot damaged. Fell on escalator, and knee kept going into the grate at the end. Car wrecks, Horse and dog bites. Fights that go down in history, mostly with family members. Dear Elizibeth, the maid, our saint, would hide with me, when they got really bad.

Today we would say, she was a hot mess. I need you to know that she was also The Best. Strong as an ox, gave of herself, to whomever needed help. Enjoyed practical jokes, that would scare me to death. Slept late everyday of her life, late, late, late, to everything. She was a very good singer, and could have been a good teacher, but could not wake up. Playing mermaids at the lake, for hours are sweet memories. Spending so much time, just using our imaginations, reading, hide and seek, deep in the ivy. (no one would find us) Climbing on wire trellis for the wisteria, and never knowing if it would hold us. 

I have almost thirty years of good memories, that I will hold onto.

As marriages, children, entered our lives, and distance. We became strangers.

Or just long, lost cousins. Mom would update me on all Brown activities, and coming down several times a year, I would see Becky in passing the big house.

I know her first child, but not the others. She knew none of mine really, I guess just stories. We would meet at funerals, some weddings, big birthdays, but never again would we sit and talk. At dad's funeral, we hugged hard ( Becky was a good hugger) and she whispered to me, "Thank you for the money you sent to help me with my sons cremation,) i whispered, I am so sorry that you and I are in that club of heartache from losing a child. We kissed and continued on. At the end of the service, the minister said for the family to stand and pray together, somehow, I think mom, as usual had said the family was at odds with each other. Big families, it happens. So we all held hands,  I think we were saying the Nicene Creed, when someone from way in the back, comes up and puts a big hand on my back, no words, I knew who it was. Becky's seat was so far away because she was late, but she was going to go up front with the Fam!! I turned me face half way to her, and said "Can you hear daddy complaining about how long this service is lasting?" and we had it down to 8 minutes!!! " We both tell each other not to laugh!" Here we are again not listening to the preacher, we just had to grab a moment for ourselves.

I never saw her again.

Her daughter texted or put it on face book, I can't remember, that Becky was going to Hospice, Cance had been a beast. I texted Allison, whom I do not know, except by name, to please tell Becky I love her. Allison texted back, I told her. Becky had packed her bags of earthly life and knew her peace was coming.

I knew Becky loved me, and she knew I loved her. Through the years no one could rescue Becky from Becky. Maybe we were not suppose to. Her Sisters and children have always been there for Becky. Jesus held her hand, all her life, not just at her leaving. 

We send you home, to rest and regroup. Eyesight restored, and no pain.

Much love was carried on your wings to glory

Bonnie

 

March With Me

                     

 I keep prayer material in every room in the house. Beads, bibles, devotional books, how to pray better books, world religion books, notebooks and pencils, I need structure in my constant state of prayer. (Im praying right now, to remember to get my nails done, they are clicking on the keys wrong, and I am thanking God for curse words!!) God and I have a hand holding, deep conversation relationship. He knows I talk to Buddha also, to help center me, to pray better. He (or she?) knows that I like all the parades and flowers in Hindu religion, Judaism, Catholics, I will worship with all, and believe in Jesus, all at the same time. I thank God for my desire to read and learn even into my seventies!!!!

Also, in each room of my house, I have furniture that you can "fall out" in. My back is wacked out, left knee, and entire left leg, it is not a fun thing, so I fall out a lot!!

Sitting at this computer, the sciatica pains are running up and down, so this blog maybe a little iffy. Any pain makes thinking about other things hard, but I am hanging by a thread, Crushed in spirit!!

Losing Ward at age 24, crushed me and those pieces will never be in the right order again. Losing Mom(Mary) recently was not so sad, more joyful. She too, had been crushed by death, my sister Trudy, Brother Tommy, and her beloved Homer, my dad, plus her first grandchild, my Ward. She was broken and 91, so grief consumed her. Jesus called her home, and she is with Daddy now. We rejoice at their reunion. I bet Jesus has not seen her yet. Daddy is refusing to go to the Big Altar, and mom will not let go of his hand. Im praying for him to just say hello, to the person on the right hand side of God, and refrain from any questions. He knows Gene Autrey and all about The American Indians!!

Now if you know me, and I think you may, none of this was in my blog for today. I What words come to this page, just shows up.

And maybe you will find a little pearl of wisdom, a laugh or cry, I just have to write my thoughts down, so I don't keep paying for a shrink!!!I tend to sway, and it works for me. 

Now the real blog was about singing and songs.

I sing all the time, another form of therapy, for sure.  

I wake up singing and I never know the song, it just comes to me. This am, From a Distance, by Bette Midler began and I smiled. I like this one and I had to look up all the lyrics to do it justice!! (One of my sons, said that I remind them of Bette Midler

, I told him, I know you mean all the good singing!! He who will remain nameless, said no, The crazy Mermaid stuff! Well OK with me)

" From a distance we all are instruments, Marching in a common band."

Sing it today for me and think about our common world.

What instrument would you be playing? I am playing and marching with Yo Yo Ma!

A Cello!

Make me an instrument of Peace and improve my voice Jesus, when you get a little time.

When mom was in Assisted Living Place, I would go down her hallway singing loud, and she would Holler!! "I hear you coming Bonnie, and we would both laugh" Sometimes she would not know me, but most of the time she did, and she would rave about my singing, which only a mom would do. 

A renewed spirit is just one song away.

Booming voice and extended notes, puts the broken pieces back in some order. Not the right spot, but still in a good place.

Happy Saturday All

Bonnie

I 

BC Powders and Vodka

January has always been a time for doctor's appointments. I assume it is just easy to schedule things starting at the first of the year. August seems to be another full month of health things, that is my T and A looky loo. Dr. Bill and I are both very healthy, so that helps. This age stuff forces you to venture into the medical facilities more often.

I have high expectations of medical offices and personal, Very High!!!  

This week we took Bill to have some outpatient surgery, that required me to wait. Which is fine, I bought a book with me. When we arrived at the office it was the size of a phone booth, and the seats were horrible. The receptionist was eating a bagel and handing us some papers to fill out. They took Bill back, and asked me to come as well.

Now in this room, there was a great chair, on rollers. Comfy, padded, my sciatica and knees were smiling. After a few minutes the nurse told me I could go wait. I hesitated; Bill looked at me with dread. I kindly said, can I wait in this recovery area room? Nurse said, "No." I then asked her if I could roll this chair out into the closet outside these doors? "No" was her answer, again. I also asked if I could sit in the car, and they said, "No" you need to be close to sign discharge papers. I said I could sign them now, the answer was "No", So I sat in sadness, walked up and down halls, read my book, took an art course online, and ate my granola bar in front of the receptionist.  Bill was fine, but I could barely walk out of there and I was his driver.

Small details, like decent chairs help your patients, and maybe eat your bagel at home, people coming in here for surgery are NPO, and comb your hair!  Maybe I was just hungry, but they could have let me roll that chair out, I was the only person in the coffin, seriously small. 

Now that was my rant for the week, next day was my orthopedic doctor. I go into the office, and it is beautiful, couches, chairs, tables, TV's, magazines, hand soap, my happy place. My third trip this month!!! Beautiful light fixtures, and the three receptionists are sweet to a fault!! and I am happy. I wait my turn, and she says, " Now darling, sugar baby, precious who are you here to see? Allison, we are on first name basis, Thank you.  " Well, there you are in the computer, and she will be coming to get you soon, now have a good day."  I may have told her, I loved her, and went to my heavenly seat. I like to scope a room and to my delight there was a woman, about 89, in a vintage Hells Angels Outfit!!!! Not only am I happy with office and personal, I have entertainment. She was a loud talker, and I was not near her, not nearly close enough, to be in her glory, but I was tuned in. The couple across from her, were about to freak out, when she hollered, " ARE YOU IN PAIN?" Note the man, was in a cast up to his, well...lets just say, long cast!!  and he whispered, not too much. My granny angel screamed, " ALL YOU NEED IS BC POWDERS AND VODKA!!!!" Thank you Jesus, let me write this down!! I was hunting for my cell phone, to ask her if I could take her photo, but they called her back, and I watched as her chains made clanking noises, and her boots dragged across the floor. Now this is a great office. I walked into the room with a smile on my face, for gel shots in my knees, that hurt more than childbirth!! Dr. said, "Bonnie, you are always happy." and I thought, you should have seen me yesterday, but I let her think, Yes I am happy all the time!!!! It gives people hope in this crazy world!!! She asked me , "What is your secret?" I thought, "Hell's Angels" and " Attention to Details." I left her with a smile on her face. 

!! 

WITH A SONG IN MY HEART

 I went to one of our doctors yesterday and wrote December 6 on my forms to sign.

The receptionist took my papers and I explained to her, my mistakes and could she correct them. My beloved husband made the appointments for us at 7:30 am, and I may be a tad off, like a month or two. (which you probably know, is just me!)

The form asked me when I had retired and I just said, I have no clue, it may be in your computer. Truly I have never retired, I work every day, Medicare may want the dates?? They can also look it up.

This was a 6th month checkup, and many things had happened in these last 6 months. This week I had just had new gel shots for my knees, and fell the next day, on my knees, so my lack of walking well, was a red flag for my family doctor. (34 years has been seeing me)

I began with having a stress induced heart attack in October, ( its in the charts Dr. V) I had an echo last week, and my heart is perfect. (miracles do happen)

Mama Mary died in maybe November; I feel like it was around Thanksgiving weekend? Elizabeth (my doc) was heartbroken, she had also seen mom these last three years. 

AND my knees are shot, but gel shots are helping, but I do fall often.

She looks at me, like a bunny after Easter, sad eyes and an empty egg basket.

She said, " How are you grieving?" Well...said I... I don't grieve, I don't cry, I think mom is good. Ward took all my grief when he died, all my tears, so I may just tunnel vision death. Put it in its on compartment. Doctor may have said, that is not real healthy Bonnie, but I know you, and you know your body and mind.

Then she leads with. "How are your nerves and depression?"

Well....they live with me in peace. I have added winter depression, that I deal with, does not require extra meds, just sunshine and time turned back.

I like to keep nerve pills on hand, but as she can see from my bottle, I don't take them. It is a comfort to know they are at a hands reach if I can not get up off the floor from cracking up!! 

She then wanted to know what I needed for knee pain? I asked her, what do I usually take? she smiled and said, I know, nothing, but your knees look terrible.

I held her sweet hands, and said, "I am good, daddy would say, this is just life Bonnie."

I only know how to live with great big ideas, looking for Joy even in a gray day.

I do not like aches and pains of ageing but remain proud of how we take care of each other.

We have a large family with daily quirks that sometimes can get Big. Thankfully there is an empty cross where I leave them. I tell Jesus, and whoever is taking my call that day, to please help all my loved ones have some common sense. Work Hard, be kind, and box up crazy and leave it for the mailman. (and that does not refer to me, children, it is a metaphor of behaviors from time to time!!)

Dr. Veverra, bid goodbye and I was happy and healthy for a moment. I will hold on, to each moment.

The husband was healthy also, we are highly favored and blessed for another day.

Now I may not know the day or month or year, but I do know its sunny out, so It's all good.

Fall Back, well I have Not stabbed anyone, Yet!!!

 I have been under the weather for a LONG spell and did not have the energy to share.

There is a small ray of sunshine, shinning on me, so I will try and purge.

My knees have been an issue since last May, so far, gel shots (that took me to my knees) have helped so much. Miracle stuff, at least for so many months. (I did tear another meniscus, but I know how this story ends) (knees good ish)

October the first I had an ambulance ride to the hospital, after I told my beloved, that something was not right in my chest and jaws. I entered the ER with 22 people working on me at one time. I thought, this is not good. They kept me, for further studies. Three IV's and a talk with Jesus, later Omar Sharif, the cardiologist, came in early the next morning to say, " You know you had a slight heart attack?" Well Precious, I did not know, but the word slight, means what exactly? He proceeded to tell me I was headed to the Cath Lab. I did not have much time to think about checking out of the earth, but I did thank Jesus for sending me a doctor that looked like Dr. Zhivago. All of my nurses and doctors were very smitten with my ability to have lipstick on at all times!!! They were also aware that I had spent my twenties in the Cath Lab, even thought things had changed sooooo much. We had wonderful conversations about my early career, and it would have been so much fun, if they were not going into my arm. This doctor was from India, and we bonded over my daughter Emma, who was born in India. I told the doctor, I thought my arteries were open, and I was right. However, the muscle part that was damaged, some myopathy, was due to stress. Stress induced heart attack, go figure.

He asked me if I meditated, prayed and I showed him my clenching hand filled with my beads!! He asked me my hobbies. I paint daily, read, retired, raised five kids, lost a son at 25 years of age, and he stopped me. You have a broken heart. Yes, I do, but I feel calm. I put my 91-year-old mother in an assisted living facility, a year ago. He stopped me again, honey, you are stressed. My only daughter married and moved away, and a hurricane almost took her off the planet, now he is holding my hand. He told me he sees joy in my face, I said, I know right. The muscle of my heart can repair itself; we hope. No new meds, just a big adjustment of how I cannot fix everything. The level of my gritting my teeth, has to decrease, and continue on my search for all that is positive and good.

I told the doctor that, the political climate, and I can no longer exist. He said, turn it all off!!!! 

F

The time change spins me around, and I have been working on not letting it get to me. At 70, people this is not easy. AND if that is not enough end of October had horrible cough and sinus infection, because of the friggin hot October and November, petri dish weather.

Bill and I both just tested positive for Covid, and I am vaxed up the Ying yang!!! The medicine they give you, is a beast, hurt my stomach, and felt like poison to me. I think we are fine, my taste buds have not returned, and we are still hanging in quarantine, but my nerves are shot!! Having a blog has always helped me release my thoughts, good and bad, so here it is. A few bad days does not make a bad year, evah!!!

We had a new roof put on yesterday, thank God for ear plugs, and a good book. The husband told me it has a 30-year warranty, and I felt so much better!!!! I hope the good lord keeps me around to enjoy it, but if you don't get a Christmas card from me, now you know why. Trying to chill, which is not working, I'm going to order my cards right now, its stressing me out.

Love you all,

B

Approaching 16 days........

 My Fitbit says today is the 15th, but I trust nothing. She, the bit, tells me I sleep four to five hours a night. However, she does not tell anyone, that in those hours I am looking for my purse or a bathroom in the streets of Calcutta!!!!

So just go with the title, and you will be fine.

Happy Birthday to me, was August 1 and it was pretty big. The sound of seventy and I are still not in a good place. Olivia Newton John just died, and she was 73. Wait a minute, that is pretty close to 70. Are my ducks in a row??

I saw my primary doctor last week, and she, so kindly, said " You look wrecked Bonnie."

Quickly I told her she was too young for the movie " Valley of The Dolls" but I am beyond the valley, and we laughed.

I do know that when you start blow drying your knees, something has changed!! Birthday weekend I got turned onto some oils, of Arnica, Lavender, and something else?? from a Farmers market. I did not purchase locally, I was headed to lunch, did not want to carry a bottle of oils. The witch doctor, (sweet lady) let me try it and my knees were better!! So, when I returned home to Amazon, I looked up all the ingredients and found my stuff. It works wonders (with a lot of Tylenol) (and gel shots) but it is oil!! all over my knees, and it needs to dry before I put on a dress. (wear dresses in summer) so out comes the dryer!!

I wish you could see me, I cried from laughing. Is this seventy? Have my tiny knees thrown in the towel after carrying around this slender and graceful Buffalo Carcass. God Bless the human body. I promised my young self that I would go gray at 70, so we will keep trying, I have colored my hair since middle school, I love hair color. Both of my parents did not have but a few strands of gray hair, I want my cousin's white hair!! May have to come from a bottle!!! What does a person do while drying their knees?? Look for scissors, I need bangs!! Never a good idea, 70 is kicking my butt!! and it has only been a few days!! So now I had to move up my hair do appointment, for repairs. Year-round summer hair is my syle , people think I have just returned from the pool, I just agree. Not everyone needs to know about my knee drying, takes away from drying my hair! Good Lord, I think I just felt a cool breeze.

Summer has been a hot one, and I have been super happy. Heat cures all. Fall batting her eyelashes at me, has increased my anxiety, and angel child Wyatt started real school, and I had to lay down a spell!! My older grans Adrian has his driver's license, and he knows Uma is a wreck. I remember the freedom of driving, so I caved and wished him wonderful days !! (And just now my throat is closing up!!), Finn my middle jewel, wants 800.00 pair of sneakers, I told him to go to the thrift store, salvation army, what 13 year old wears 800.00 pair of shoes. Yes, Uma likes nice things, but darling middle child, girls just care right now that your teeth are clean!! take that info form Ums and run with it!!!

At 70 I need Joni, CSNY, Stones, Beatles throw in a little Chris Stapleton and I m good. Music never changes with any age, and that my friends, is a much better drug of choice.

I pray a lot and The Holy Mother and Moses keep telling me, "We Got This Bon-Bon!"

Enjoy the rest of this August month, pay attention to what is around you. Laugh all the time, and ugly cry if you need to.

70 is feeling better already, sometimes you just need to blog!

The beach is not always a place, Sometimes it's a feeling !

  The Salty Mule in Canton Georgia gave me a card with the above message on it. The title of my blog, I so appreciate all the people, places, things that jump out at me, for my writing pleasure.

I was born in beach country; I know what beach hair is.

The beach is my happy place, saltwater runs through my veins.

The dermatologist knows how many hours of my life were spent without sunscreen.

We just returned from the beach and with much help, the fam helped me to the water. ( my knees are wonky still) It was the hottest day in years, off the charts hot, and sitting on the waters edge, I felt nothing. Nothing but joy, My son and grandson, hung with me, for shell knowledge. I also had to revisit why we were not going to the sandbar, and where the sharks lived, we were not going to be their lunch. ( Jaws, and Brother man Benjie flying me over hundreds of sharks in Jacksonville) My motto, is you have to see your feet. Yes I swam out to the dark water when small, tried to surf, took little boats out, fell over in one, and swam to shore. I have been caught in undertow and riptide, but I knew to swim to the side, until I could break free.( Susan remember that boat with Jeff Owens and I think Pelegrini? and maybe Lee Carrol that fell over and some stayed with the boat, but Jeff and I swam back) ( or is that another story, that I just have pieces of??) well I know Jeff Owens and I were very good swimmers, I sure miss him and Lee. Damn, now I feel sad.

OK, back on task, which you know is not going to happen.

I live my life Beach Feeling!! 

My darling daughter asked me yesterday, why I had not written about her wedding???I told her I have been recovering and not thinking of anything wedding related, since it had consumed our past year.

So I gathered some memories, and things I had saved for this very moment, and The Salty Mule, card came out of my pile. We ate there while taking stuff to the venue. Emma got married at a barn, I will have to ask someone the name of it. I want to call it Fendley Farms?? Farmstead? with Charles in Charge. It was lovely, what I remember of it. Charles took care of everything, and Emma and Jamie picked out most everything, so I had to almost just show up.( I did have some input, but honestly, the kids drove the car on this wedding) 

My most favorite things about the wedding are spending the wedding day, with Emma's bridesmaids who had all been friends since they were 2. Stacie, Lauren, Erin and Ali. Malia three of the girls mom and I had been neighbors with all these girls. Next door neighbors, with revolving doors. A wonderful group of women, including my Emma. We ate and laughed and danced and discussed A LOT!! All day we were in this darling house. My cousin Leigh-Leigh was there, taking care of business, I can not do anything without her!!! I promise, her laughter will take you to your knees and her organizational skills, wonderful.( did I say Malia was with us all day too?) ( Stacie I wished Bonnie Busbin could have been with us) Stacie had the best hair, and I loved my false eyelashes, until I found them stuck to my glasses during the reception!! My dress had been altered wrong, my sew person, knows me. I like big clothes, its a texture thing. She turned a big dress with a waist into an empire dress!! I never need attention drawn to my torpedoes!!  Had to wear it, it was not the end of the world. 

Next favorite thing was all of my children and grandchildren were together. Nothing, not even the beach could top that. Finn walked me down the aisle, Adrian read a poem, and Wyatt stole the entire show. Ringbearer, dancer, human child!!!

Friends, near and far, relatives, strangers, all had come together after covid!! our numbers were kept down for a smaller wedding, out of pure fear of if we were going to be lucky and have this thing!!! So some of our buddies on both sides could not come. I think all our loved ones, sent their love through the country Canton Sky, we felt it.

There was, as in all weddings, a current of discontent, in some areas. We Michelle Obamaed it and rose up! I looked at Jamie and Emma and cried like a BAD CRY!! Their love for each over the past four years, is felt by anyone who has been around them. This day was no different, they ooze high school first love joy, all the time. Everything was beautiful and crazy, and we had cows!!!

I felt my brother's hand on my shoulder during the wedding, I love him so much and miss all the Blackmans that have passed. I thought about my Ward and all he has missed being gone, its extremely hard to be so happy and sad at the same time. Then you crank up the music, and all is well.

My girlfriends and I took the house down, Brian did a good Footloose, and Benjie may have pretended to be Jagger!!Brooks Ann, Nancy, Jane, Malia, LOVE SHACK will never be the same. Emma thank you for dancing with us for SuperFreak, Rick James was very proud of us.

I wish you and Jamie a real life, filled with all the feels. Good and Bad, normal everyday lawn mowing stuff. It is never easy in this world. It is your job to make it good. Its a job, get dressed, show up and look for the joy, its all around you. 

Maybe I will do another wedding blog, I left out the story about Stacie and Ali washing your feet like Jesus!! to get the teal dye off your feet, from the wet grass!!Those shoes, got thrown away.

Love to all the people who came to the wedding and shared the hoopla

Love Wins

Bonnie

Life in the Serengeti-Thank You Beth Dutton

    I have not had words flowing, or time to type them.

    My family has asked me, why have you not blogged mom?

Because in the Serengeti, it's all about survival. I have a loose thread and am walking on hot coals, at the moment.

Watching others take care of your mom, who is every inch, in her nineties, is strange, hard and a gracious sigh thrown in. She has horrible days, and not horrible days. Navigating all of these transactions, is a journey for both of us, and others.

The brain and its decline are just beyond words sometimes. We all count our blessings and gather strength in our own ways. 

Now throw in your daughter's wedding plans, that have been going on a year, and you have two weeks until the day!!! Oh wait, and the little darling and her beau, decided to move to Tampa area, before wedding. Let me think, trauma, illness, wedding and moving. I may have to use the F word, many times!!

Bill, hubs, turns 75, big party. Emma, daughter, only one, has a big wedding shower, same weekend. Wonderful, wonderful time, YET....I could not walk the next week.

To Ortho I travel, pulled pork, left knee, arthritis, Bakers cyst burst, can not take pain pills, in misery. Sleeping downstairs, because I cannot get upstairs. Finally after three days, get upstairs, and then I have to get down. Well guess what happened to the right knee, torn meniscus, and knee went caddy watchy, and I am midway down the stairs. Two knees down, and Mom in assisted living, and Emma in Tampa, and Bill 75!!!!!! The vultures and hyenas are gathering forks and plates.

Shots in both knees, cane and life is coming back to whatever we call Normal in The Baron House!! When all of the sudden, this crazy knee stuff has caused my new right hip replacement to start hurting like the devil. Only when i try to pick up stuff off the floor or get clothes out of washer and dryer. Like it does not want to work right, so Monday back to Ortho, for some chatting. I need to be at a weeding in two weeks, and on my feet, and they don't call me The Dancing Queen for nothing. Nothing is working and my slim mental capacity is swirling the drain.

Then, the child, Wyatt Heyward Baron, spends the night. He says, in bed, "I love you Uma" but " I love my Dada and Mommy more" and I said, " That is OK precious, it is supposed to be that way." Then as his eyes are closing and I am watching this glorious angel, he says. " Did you know I am the only one who has an Uma?" I whispered, " well Adrian and Finn, have an Uma too." Wyatt opened his eyes and looked at me like a crazy person and maybe in a Boss Baby Voice said, " I mean in my school, not our family UMA!

I think I saw a tiger in this jungle of mine, and I knew I was home, and all would be ok.

Lavender is waving at me, outside the window, and the cushion beneath my arse, is working like a charm.

I will try and blog more, but....no promise here...Life in the Serengeti requires all eyes on the landscape of my life. Thank God I have Jesus and Tarzen in the same jungle.

Love

Bonnie