WITH A SONG IN MY HEART

 I went to one of our doctors yesterday and wrote December 6 on my forms to sign.

The receptionist took my papers and I explained to her, my mistakes and could she correct them. My beloved husband made the appointments for us at 7:30 am, and I may be a tad off, like a month or two. (which you probably know, is just me!)

The form asked me when I had retired and I just said, I have no clue, it may be in your computer. Truly I have never retired, I work every day, Medicare may want the dates?? They can also look it up.

This was a 6th month checkup, and many things had happened in these last 6 months. This week I had just had new gel shots for my knees, and fell the next day, on my knees, so my lack of walking well, was a red flag for my family doctor. (34 years has been seeing me)

I began with having a stress induced heart attack in October, ( its in the charts Dr. V) I had an echo last week, and my heart is perfect. (miracles do happen)

Mama Mary died in maybe November; I feel like it was around Thanksgiving weekend? Elizabeth (my doc) was heartbroken, she had also seen mom these last three years. 

AND my knees are shot, but gel shots are helping, but I do fall often.

She looks at me, like a bunny after Easter, sad eyes and an empty egg basket.

She said, " How are you grieving?" Well...said I... I don't grieve, I don't cry, I think mom is good. Ward took all my grief when he died, all my tears, so I may just tunnel vision death. Put it in its on compartment. Doctor may have said, that is not real healthy Bonnie, but I know you, and you know your body and mind.

Then she leads with. "How are your nerves and depression?"

Well....they live with me in peace. I have added winter depression, that I deal with, does not require extra meds, just sunshine and time turned back.

I like to keep nerve pills on hand, but as she can see from my bottle, I don't take them. It is a comfort to know they are at a hands reach if I can not get up off the floor from cracking up!! 

She then wanted to know what I needed for knee pain? I asked her, what do I usually take? she smiled and said, I know, nothing, but your knees look terrible.

I held her sweet hands, and said, "I am good, daddy would say, this is just life Bonnie."

I only know how to live with great big ideas, looking for Joy even in a gray day.

I do not like aches and pains of ageing but remain proud of how we take care of each other.

We have a large family with daily quirks that sometimes can get Big. Thankfully there is an empty cross where I leave them. I tell Jesus, and whoever is taking my call that day, to please help all my loved ones have some common sense. Work Hard, be kind, and box up crazy and leave it for the mailman. (and that does not refer to me, children, it is a metaphor of behaviors from time to time!!)

Dr. Veverra, bid goodbye and I was happy and healthy for a moment. I will hold on, to each moment.

The husband was healthy also, we are highly favored and blessed for another day.

Now I may not know the day or month or year, but I do know its sunny out, so It's all good.