Every Picture Tells a Story? Does it?

In the past week or so, Facebook, posted a fantastic photo of a friend of mine. Doug Griffin holding his surfboard, posted by The North Jetties group in Florida. (a huge spot for surfing, in my youth, and today, maybe?) I came upon it, and smiled, gosh Doug is so sweet in this photo, holding his beloved board. I replied, Great Photo.

Never in a trillion years, did I think to read anything into this photo. I had assumed, (mistake) that it was a surfing buddy, or his wife Paula had posted a recent good photo. Later in the day, I saw that this posting had others commenting, so I looked. RIP was written, on a comment. I LOST it!! No where did it say he passed, so I asked if he was dead or alive. I got several answers of YES. YES what?? Finally, Harriet sent me the article, that talked of Doug's passing. Cancer had consumed another precious human. I had a clarification, of something that I honestly did not want to hear. I was sick. 

I could hear my mother talking, when she lived with us, before her death. " Bonnie, you are just about the age when you start losing friends." she alerted me. " Mom what a thing to say, we are all young and here now!" That was two years ago, and mom has died. I told her, " Speaking to the heavens, you are right mom!! but you didn't have to warn me." 

 This mild mannered, darling boy is gone. The grown man, who comforted me about the death of my son, Ward, age 25. He softly listened to my grief and asked questions from his heart. We talked about his life and mine; it had been years since we had exchanged even a hello at a high school reunion. He reached out, at a time, when people stayed away. Grief scares people, and loss of a child is a big Grief. Doug Griffin, held my pain, so I could breathe a minute.

Now I have to hold my grief of losing him.

At one of our reunions, I ran to Doug, (maybe walked fast) and he held my face. No words were spoken. Once again, I knew he continued to hold me. 

We were all so happy, when he married Paula. She anchored him, and continued to let him shine.

He was not perfect, thank goodness. He was very imperfect and filled with joy. I don't want perfect; I do want Doug to still be here. 

I cannot say Good-Bye, it just does not seem the right fit.

I love you Doug Griffin and that's it. I hope you carry with you all our love. I can see you in the hall of Andrew Jackson, near your locker. You turn and smile at me, no words needed. My friend for a LONG time, I'm smiling back.

  Jesus, my wheel is broken, but please continue to take hold of it for me. I trust your direction, but I don't have to like it.

My love to Paula, family and friends. Send him off with good music, love and a smile.

Much Love

Bonnie Blackman Baron