Momma Said, "............................."

          "If you kaint say anything nice about someone, don't say anything at all!!"(really mom??)

Daddy said, " Lay IT ALL out on the table!!" 

These precious people, so different and both right. Miss them everyday.

This past week, my cousin Becky died. Some knew her as Ellen, Rebecca, Mom, Sister, daughter, friend. She will always be Becky to me. A few months separated us in age. An entire lifetime separated us as adults. For all my life we were stuck together at the hip, I think Adah ( Aunt ALice Brown) liked me to play with Becky all the time, so she would not fight with Nicky, or herself. Oil and Water, sometimes just does not mix.

From birth to maybe our late twenties, we did everything together. 

Spent most of my nights at Bruce Street or Becky at Kenmore Street. Rode our bikes back and forth to each other's houses. Church, whenever the door was open!! I think we may have been the only children to have Reverent King stop the Sunday night service to tell Mary and ALice ( our moms) to come get us, we were laughing too much. Also on many a Sunday church service, we called out hymns to sing, Old Rugged Cross and In The Garden, or I come to the Garden. We never changed our choices, never. Dr. King would soon not call on us, but this went on for a long time. Movies, Beach, Lake, Camps, Chorus, School, Farm, everyday together.

Becky was an accident waiting to happen. From birth, momma said. Hardships, and toll followed her. I think she followed it. Lost her eye, with a sliced phone cable wire, using it for tug of war. Took a hatchet to cut wood one day, half of her foot damaged. Fell on escalator, and knee kept going into the grate at the end. Car wrecks, Horse and dog bites. Fights that go down in history, mostly with family members. Dear Elizibeth, the maid, our saint, would hide with me, when they got really bad.

Today we would say, she was a hot mess. I need you to know that she was also The Best. Strong as an ox, gave of herself, to whomever needed help. Enjoyed practical jokes, that would scare me to death. Slept late everyday of her life, late, late, late, to everything. She was a very good singer, and could have been a good teacher, but could not wake up. Playing mermaids at the lake, for hours are sweet memories. Spending so much time, just using our imaginations, reading, hide and seek, deep in the ivy. (no one would find us) Climbing on wire trellis for the wisteria, and never knowing if it would hold us. 

I have almost thirty years of good memories, that I will hold onto.

As marriages, children, entered our lives, and distance. We became strangers.

Or just long, lost cousins. Mom would update me on all Brown activities, and coming down several times a year, I would see Becky in passing the big house.

I know her first child, but not the others. She knew none of mine really, I guess just stories. We would meet at funerals, some weddings, big birthdays, but never again would we sit and talk. At dad's funeral, we hugged hard ( Becky was a good hugger) and she whispered to me, "Thank you for the money you sent to help me with my sons cremation,) i whispered, I am so sorry that you and I are in that club of heartache from losing a child. We kissed and continued on. At the end of the service, the minister said for the family to stand and pray together, somehow, I think mom, as usual had said the family was at odds with each other. Big families, it happens. So we all held hands,  I think we were saying the Nicene Creed, when someone from way in the back, comes up and puts a big hand on my back, no words, I knew who it was. Becky's seat was so far away because she was late, but she was going to go up front with the Fam!! I turned me face half way to her, and said "Can you hear daddy complaining about how long this service is lasting?" and we had it down to 8 minutes!!! " We both tell each other not to laugh!" Here we are again not listening to the preacher, we just had to grab a moment for ourselves.

I never saw her again.

Her daughter texted or put it on face book, I can't remember, that Becky was going to Hospice, Cance had been a beast. I texted Allison, whom I do not know, except by name, to please tell Becky I love her. Allison texted back, I told her. Becky had packed her bags of earthly life and knew her peace was coming.

I knew Becky loved me, and she knew I loved her. Through the years no one could rescue Becky from Becky. Maybe we were not suppose to. Her Sisters and children have always been there for Becky. Jesus held her hand, all her life, not just at her leaving. 

We send you home, to rest and regroup. Eyesight restored, and no pain.

Much love was carried on your wings to glory

Bonnie