Don't Unpack and Live There

      I was thinking, as I always do, about grief and pain.
      Somewhere I heard the above title, Don't Unpack and Live There! and....I think it can be applied to so much of daily life. At least , my life, the only one I know inside and out.
      I like to unpack and over stay, hyper focus, on so many things. Good and bad, so I work hard to remedy hanging with the bad thoughts.
       With grief, there is no escaping, you live it. Pack or unpack, no difference, I don't even bring a suitcase and it is there, morning, noon and night. It lives with me, but I don't live there. I think that is the only way to survive. I do not, live in grief!
       Lately, pain has held court, and damn if it hasn't come to stay. My only choice is a hip replacement, so I need to get this scheduled. I will not let it live in my body, this horrible pain, that wants to stay.
      I am reminded of my father, who for years, whenever he visited us, he would never unpack his suitcase. When he arrived, he sat at the table and planned his departure. Which I thought, was horrible, how could he want to leave us so soon. ( I think he may have slept in his clothes for a quick get away!) ( at least in Atlanta) ( In Pennsylvania, he had to stay a week, and that about killed him, I think he changed clothes)
      Now as I have morphed into him, I see the logic.
      Never unpack and live there!
      Pain, grief, depression, anger, hurt feelings, don't unpack!!
      And when you travel and visit with family, make it short and sweet.
      We call them Homerisms! all of my dads quirky sayings.
      Just this week, I said, " there are so many unattractive people in this world!" Homerism!
      ( he use to say UGLY, but he is trying to mellow in age!)
      March, April and May have worn on my last nerves, but not without moments of Joy, that far surpass the aches and pains of life.
      Grief forced me, to shift my thinking, helped me take my game to just the joy level! Ward will have been gone, ten years in July, and I truly never thought I would live through the first day, of finding him dead on the bathroom floor. Never would I believe that I could be typing my stories, in an upright position after watching them remove him in a body bag. Picking out a coffin, and seeing your first born child, is just too much. But I didn't unpack and live there. I promised his sweet self, that I would be OK, he was not to worry. So he could feel free to go where ever heaven and the universe had in store for him. He carries our love with him, and he lives with us still.
      Life is oh so precious, grief, pain, joy, all threaded together.
      I choose Joy in June, and all the months to follow.
      I think maybe its not so much about unpacking, but what you pack!!
      Enjoy the journey