What Is That Smell?

  I am sitting here, in Florida, at my parents computer, in a cave of darkness!!(they don't turn on many lights!)
  Both of my parents, whom are 84, are not well. My daddy has colon surgery tomorrow, and I, at this time, am on duty.
 There is a smell in the air. Not the deep smell of humidity that hangs over all of Florida, but something I can not put my finger on.
 My parents home, is not where I grew up, so its not the smells of my youth. My mom does not cook anymore, so those smells are gone. The smell of Pledge and Pinesol are long gone, the heavy cleaning days, behind them. What is that smell?
  It is the smell of age and experience? Does that have an odor? Do memories retain a smell, emotions? Does peace of mind and heart smell?
  Yes, we are worried about dad and mom, maybe concerned would be a better word, yet we continue to laugh, and have a calm about us.
  I love to look at them, their pale eyes that look so far away, I think about what all they have seen, and if at this time in their life, fear rears its ugly head? The wrinkles and crippled gait, move slowly, but still forward.
 I believe I smell love. The love of a child, and her parents. The love of years gone by, and love to get us through this time of pain. Does love smell? I think it does, with every breathe we take, knowing and loving people. Loving friends and family with all the flaws highlighted, and still we love.
 What a tapestry of life these two have pieced together, I can smell it and its LOVE.

Why Was She Dancing?

  No reason.
Just alive, I guess.
                      -George Saunders


 This morning, during my second cup of coffee, I had a moment! ( I have many moments!) This thought, made me smile. " I think it is September!" thought I, out loud.
I know it is September.....but maybe I forgot....that means I was still in August and it was perfect.
I continued the talk with my self, thinking, " Gosh, I need to blog, I like to get in at least one a week, and could do three, with all my material, but I have other needs!" What haven't I shared? as of late?
     My trip with my daughter, Emma, to see Ed Sheeran, was life altering. ( she would say, "that would be everything to you mom!") (Hmmm...) Can I help it, if most things in life bring me so much happiness!?
    I could tell she was nervous, when I said, " Oh an aisle seat, now I will have more room to dance!"
I am a dancer, tap, ballet, jazz, hip-hop, fox trot, tango, slow slow slow dancing, ( like at the youth center! in our tweens) Am I a good dancer? Who would be judging me? I feel the music and let it go. Yes, Em was nervous, but with a smile. She did say something about a certain way I was holding my hands, and I explained that I was holding them up to the lord! Because "I had been to the mountain top! with Ed's music"
Seriously, I grab my heart when someone plays a guitar from his toes! This was a one man show, he took me to the aisle! and sister girl, just let me go! It helped, I think? that Mr. Sheeran said, that what he wanted most of all from the audience, was utter abandon, dance and sing as much as you want!! I looked at my child, and gave her a look, " I am so IN!" It was a beautiful night, and we ( notice I said we!, I think she! may have moved a little!)( She did sing all the songs!) were drained, with joy, as we found our way back home.
   There are some things, that don't require a reason. I think dancing and singing is one of these things, just do it! Release those pent up demons of stress, put on some music and shake your groove thang!
  Or pretend you are slow dancing, to Johnny Mathis, or Surfer Girl by The Beach Boys. I know you know the words.
  Get out of the box, and listen to Rap and Hip-Hop, there is a depth behind the beat and words, that we need to hear. Buy some tap shoes, there is nothing better, then to make some noise!!
 Two songs that I loved this summer, Cheerleader by Omi,, just so awesome and....I Can't Feel My Face by The Weekend, you have to know and hear these, and sing and dance, and think it may still be August!
Just Because.

If I Were In Charge of the World?

     I have learned many, many years ago, that I am in charge of nothing!! Not really, I think I am in charge of it all!! At least this blog, and my thoughts on the subject!
  
         If I were in charge of the world
         I'd cancel oatmeal,  ( not true, my favorite)
         Monday mornings,
         Allergy shots and also Sara Steinberg.

         If I were in charge of the world
         There'd be brighter night lights,
         Healthier hamsters, and
         Basketball baskets forty eight inches lower.

         If I were in charge of the world
         You wouldn't have lonely.
         You wouldn't have clean. ( I love clean!)
         You wouldn't have bedtimes.
         or " Don't punch your sister."
         You wouldn't have sisters.

         If I were in charge of the world
         A chocolate sundae with whipped cream and nuts would be a vegetable
         All 007 movies would be G,
         And a person who sometimes forgot to brush,
         And sometimes forgot to flush,
         Would still be allowed to be
         In charge of the world.
                                           by Judith Viorst

   Poetry comes in music and children's books, like this sweet poem, from a well read, Terrible, Horrible Day of some kids day. Do you know the book? I hope so. Alexander hopes so.

  After my last blog, where I mentioned my high school English Teacher, I pondered all she taught me.
        I learned some of The Canterbury Tales, by Chaucer.
                                 When that April, with his shovres soote
                                 The drought of March hath perced to the roote
                                             ETC..........google it, I shall not type the entire Tale!
        We had to recite lines from this jewel of a piece, and still find a date for the weekend! Did Miss Wells understand our lives!!!! Then she threw in Macbeth, for weeks on in. How could I write notes to my friends, and love Macbeth, but I did.
              I have from that class forward, hung on Shakespeare's words, To-morrow, and To-morrow, and To-morrow, creeps in this petty pace from day to day.

      Shel Silverstein, to Sylvia Plath, E.E. Cummings to Langston Hughes, Maya Angelou to Emily Dickinson,
the list is long and rich. Take the time to read something different, find your JAM, so to speak.
      September change is coming, you can feel it in the air. Now reach for a book of poetry, in the cool evening of your fall, or read a child a book. YOU ARE IN CHARGE, believe it.
   

And The Poem Reads

    Each month I try to do new things, or revisit some old joys.
    In the summer, I watch "off the beaten path" movies, documentaries that have escaped me for months. Foreign films, and many closed caption reading, thrills me.
   Come September, always moving forward, I pull out the poetry. In books and on the computer, I comb the pages, of such gifts.
                                " The breezes taste
                                   Of apple peel.
                                   The air is full
                                   Of smells to feel-
                                   Ripe fruit, old footballs,
                                   Burning brush,
                                   New books, erasers,
                                   Chalk, and such.
                                   The bee, his hive,
                                   Well-honeyed hum,
                                   And Mother cuts
                                   Chrysanthemums.
                                    Like plates washed clean ( love this line)
                                    With suds, the days
                                    Are polished with
                                    A morning haze."
                                                      John Updike

This is just a jewel, a little dated with chalk and erasers, I like to remember those objects of my affection.
Plates washed clean, and the morning polished. Poetry is heaven to my soul.

                                   " Tis the last rose of summer,
                                     Left blooming alone;
                                     All her lovely companions
                                     Are faded and gone."
                                                        Thomas Moore, 1830
To be the last rose of summer, must be such a privilege, denied to many.

                                     "September: it was the most beautiful of words,
                                      He'd always felt, evoking orange flowers,
                                      Swallows, and regret."
                                                          Alexander Theroux 1981
I love the word evoking, flowers, birds and regret. Fantastic!

I hope you September has begun with joy, and if not, find it.
My parents are very ill, and I hurt for them, and wish for miracles to come quickly to their bodies. My joy is that they have been with us, for so long.

I love that tennis begins my September, I cannot find the words to tell you how much satisfaction it bring me, but it does. Football begins with a fever, and the weather changes are small, to help me not go into shock!!

The month will bolt right past us, without delay.

Read some poetry, by the tons, feed your mind and body with things that make you grow, smile and pass on.
" How do I love thee, let me count thy ways........That is my favorite poem......do you know who wrote it?
  Thank you Miss Anna Leigh Wells, for teaching me to love poetry.....Andrew Jackson 1970