There Is No Elf. There Is No Shelf. There Sure Is No Elf On A Shelf!!!

Each year around this time, I certainly am reminded of things to be thankful for. This holiday season is no exception. You see our Elf On The Shelf went to be with Jesus, many years ago.

With much luck, all my boys escaped the beady eyed creature. The elf began to show up when Em was about four or five. That was also about the timeline that the skinny, red, bendable waif went bye-bye.

Of course I bought the book and the little man, and introduced Emma to all that glitters does not wear a red suit!! You have to move him around the house, and come up with things that the pesky pal would do to mess up your house!! Apparently he watches to see if you are good or bad, something I thought Santa did and teachers!!! Emma was never bad, so why watch her, right?? Also, I was never into pranks or a big fan of a  mess to clean up, so I would just hide him. I would forget where he was, and Emma would forget to ask where mini elf was lurking. There were days, when he was outside sunning, or hanging from lamp, but we really did not care where he was. There was no magic pixy dust to make us find the joy in this venture.
That was just the first year, surely I would try it again, never should our kids miss out on the latest fad!!

The next Christmas rolled around, and he was here again. I asked Emma if she remembered the elf, and she gave me a half smile. Why do mom's add any more stuff on their plates!!! This was just a burden elf, and I proceeded to hide it. Then I became paranoid that it was looking at me, like a demon puppet, so I hid it face down!!! Emma found it laying on the bed, among her stuffed animals and asked me how it could see her, if it was on its stomach???? Hmmm.....x-ray eyes precious, and he gets tired without blinking?? I think she was not waiting for my answer and out the door, but I was ready!!!
A few days into the month she said, "Where is the Elf?" and I said, "He has gone to be with Jesus." ( And I think Jesus in this sentence may be a reference to Je-sus our garbage collector man, who is very kind)
So she brings me the entire manger, barn, kings, Mary, Joseph and the babe. " Mom, do you see the Elf?" ( so the attitude begins) "No Emma, its a miracle!" and she returned the manger and seemed satisfied.

I could find many joys to share with Em and her brothers, without the elf. You pick your battles as parents and you can pick your joys.

Its all good.

My Favorite!?

 It is very hard for me to distinguish what is a true favorite, an almost favorite, or just a love, love this !

My family reminds me often that it is impossible to have so many favorites.

I think that is so not true, I have many favorite things. You see there are so many categories.Certainly at this time of the year, December 1st today, my favorites come into view.  Anne Lamont has a new book, that I have read twice, and she is one of my favorites!! Help, Thanks, Wow: Three Essential Prayers, another jewel in her crown, of writing. I adore her way with words.
Christmas music remains on my list, and this year Rod Stewart has a new CD, that keeps him on my special list. His raspy voice croons a Christmas tune, like none other. FAVORITE!
Putting up Christmas decorations, a pain in the arse, but the lights!!!and the ornaments from each of my children, FAV!!!
Ornaments from relatives and friends over the years adorn my tree, causing me to pause and daily say, "This tree is my favorite! Shopping yesterday, at Crate and Barrel, I spoke in a loud-ish angel voice? "I love this store, it is my ....you know the word by now!" Each dish towel, bowl and cake pan winked as I traveled down the aisles, they see me coming, all these beautiful things. Even the cash register lady, had such a sweet disposition, she was darling, sharing stories, becoming one of my favorite sales people so far this season!

Joy to the world, for this minute!

I returned home and glanced in my dinning room, my favorite room, and saw "THEM" my very favorite thing, maybe forever. They are my signed, Nutcracker Ballet slippers. Used Toe Shoes, yes worn out!!
In Atlanta after the Nutcracker Ballet, they sell all of the toe shoes, to help fund the arts. I love them, and every year, I don't know where to put them. So right now they are sitting on my piano bench, so I can touch them and hold them to my ta-tas, wishing I had been a ballerina. A sweet dream, of a little girl from long ago, who thought she could dance!! I look at these shoes, and think about these young girls, and hope they are so happy dancing. Of course that little girl grew up, and dances like no one is watching! Dancing is another favorite!!!

The season reminds us to read, dance, shop, decorate and rejoice.

If you are reading this, you are also one of my favorite things. You can never have too many!!!!

OH HOLY NIGHT!!!

No I am not delinquent in my writing, I am surrounded by notes and ideas. Sitting down and writing my personal blog, has been interrupted by this glorious fall in Georgia. OR..Should I say, I have languished in the sunshine and warm temperatures, listening to the season for the first time in sixty years. When you are young, you can't pay attention. Little minds are filled up with excitement, pure joy, but unaware of natures majesty. In your twenties and probably thirties, you are considering careers, children and maybe a spouse! You and your brain are on overload, especially when babies come into view. I remember work, work and more work for many years, failing to notice spring, winter, fall and my summer. Surely I made mention of an unbearable winter snow, a welcomed spring in the north, too many leaves to rake every fall, and "my summer" hot and humid and never long enough? Never have I listened to the season. Never have I smelled the leaves and paused.

 I think it has to do with, retirement and my age. Plus October and November in Georgia this year, has been grand. I truly am in awe of whatever the reason, my cup is full.

Little and Big Elves are now putting up the Christmas tree, waiting for me to do all the decorations. All the Thanksgiving dishes are put away, and a few leftovers remain. I sit at this computer, listening, looking, aware of my life, charmed and flawed like so many. So very thankful for this time in my life. Especially Spanx and Botox!!!!! For my five children, who have made me a better person. A husband who lets me, be me and has never questioned what I have bought!!!Thank you Baby Jesus!!! Friends from long ago, and yesterday continue to make me laugh, and hold me when I cry. I love you enough to lick you, but will refrain!!!! So thankful that my parents are still with us, and communicate, text and e-mail and phone!!!! ( I should say Mary, you know Homer will not even pick up the phone!!!) My brothers, who will always be younger, because I AM THE OLDEST SISTER!!!!forever, the queen and you will bow!!! Tommy and Benjie, you rock, I love you.

Tis the season, take a moment to enjoy.

Thank You Baby Jesus and Moses!

  I truly want to thank everyone, light a candle for Mother Mary's cousin Saul, send prayers out into the universe, for President Obama being elected for a second term.
One of my friends called him the pro-abortion president. I wanted to tell her it is called Pro Choice, and that we hope no one ever needs an abortion, but if they do, the people of America will help them. Maybe instead of hating, the forty some odd percentage of people who voted differently than I could go volunteer at a Planned Parenthood facility. Another friend of mine made a list of things that disgruntled republicans could do, to take their mind off the hard loss. Mags wrote that all of us should volunteer to help a teen in trouble, work at a woman's shelter, soup kitchen, look at your elderly parents and thank whomever that they will have affordable health care. I wanted to add, Hospice is always in need of people, watching a family say good-bye to a loved one dying teaches us much. Support small business in your community. To whom much is given, we have to give back. Of course that is the liberal speaking in me.

We do, as a country, have much work ahead, but we always do. You see, we are young and growing. The country is becoming so much more diverse. The demographics have changed. We are not a "Mad Men" TV show anymore, we are a "Modern Family."

Some of you know that my sweet Ward, age 25, died over five years ago. In his lifetime, due to mental illness, he was on many medications. Those medicines made his life normal, at a high cost. You see he stopped taking all of those meds when he was no longer on our insurance plan. He could never afford them, so he stopped. One pill was 800 dollars a month, Ward took four or five different pills a day. He no longer went to the Shrink, because that was 250 dollars an hour. One July morning we found him dead of an apparent accidental drug overdose. Street drugs, they cost 15 dollars. He came off of our insurance the day he graduated college. Now you can keep your children on your policy until 26, thanks to our president. In my heart I wish, that I had been able to help Ward for a little longer, maybe if I had a few more years to keep him safe and functioning, you see affordable health care is personal to me. Yes, to your questions, we took out many loans to help him, tried to get him in many programs that would not take him, because of his insurance. Yes, you see, he did work. Now even his precondition of Autistic, Social Anxiety disorder, Schizophrenia/ Bi polar problems would be covered. He was lucky to live in a time when medication made his life awesome, and unlucky that was taken away from him.

This election has made huge divides between people, both sides can argue their point. I have no fight left in me. I believe in my party and I have hope for the Republican party. Our country needs both parties, we have to work together.

I am a child from the 60's, I believe in love.

I also believe in hard work, it will take all of us.

Spin This!

I know it may be hard for you to believe BUT I do like to exercise. I'm a member of a local Georgia gym, or is it called something else???? Fitness center!!! Not only am I a member, but I go. I love Zumba class, and my aqua swim class is a beautiful thing, I even cycle. Yes I have gone to a spin class, and I don't spin! The music is loud and shaking the rafters. This is probably my driving force, the music, because I don't like to drip sweat, or ride a bike standing up. So I spin in the back, like a turtle, and dance like no one is watching. In fact, I dance and exercise to my own drummer in all my classes. That may explain the loaf of challah around my middle, I spin everything my own way.
Since my retirement, I have decided to try yoga also. I'm searching for the right fit for me, slow and easy. Possibly with some handsome young man in tights, to lift my legs and brace my head up, Downward Dog!!
I figure if the media can spin things their way, so can I.
Today is the presidential election, and its tight.
Depending on who you are listening to, Abraham Lincoln may win. I feel like I cannot believe anyone, or anything. In my optimistic world of hope, that is not going to work.
I think the right person will win, of course my person,(its my spin) and we will all be happy and peaceful.
Just last week, getting ready to go to sleep, I said to my Bill, " I think this 64 degree temperature is as cold as it will be this year." My grumpy Bill replied, " Your delusional Bonnie, its not even winter yet."
I slowly turned towards him and in the dark spewed, " I am filled with HOPE, that is not delusional!!"
You can spin hope, can't you?
Of course!!!!!

Remember to vote..

October and Poe

 October cannot escape me, without a mention of Poe. Edgar Allen Poe, the poet and writer, tapping at my door. I look forward to reading about him, and his work each crisp autumn night. This year I was so trilled to also have a novel, The Raven's Bride to dig into. I devoured it, each delicious word learning more about my Mr. Poe.
You see he married his cousin, who was thirteen at the time, Eddy(some called him) was twenty-six. Mr. P was a driven man, eccentric and earthly poor, they say a poets dream? He had a lonely early life, that of course, haunted him. The young lad was very romantic, he loved deeply, yet with an odd twist. His raven bride, slept with her mother until she was sixteen, and Edgar in an adjoining room. Not your everyday husband and wife start to life. I guess it worked for them, Poe was to say, "We loved with a love that was more than love." ?? Illness filled up their days. He drank himself crazy, and she had tuberculosis, coughing up blood more than most! A quote from Poe reads, "I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity!" Yet we still read his master work, he had the gift. The Raven is one of my favorite, it has a rhythm that sings.
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary....its calls you to continue. The poem is lengthy and requires thought, which I consider wonderful. Tales of mystery and macabre. The Murders at the Rue Morgue, The Tell-Tale Heart, The Fall of the House of Usher, The Pit and the Pendulum, so many more.
Crisp autumn air, a chill seeping in, dark comes earlier and Poe returns.
He died in 1849, some say syphilis, cholera, rabies, heart disease, all mixed in with years of the juice. Lonely and sick, or a madman.

His words haunt us still, tis the wind and nothing more.

No-Bell?

 Today, like all the others, Bill and I get up very early. We did this early on in our marriage, before the mayhem of children's feet hit the floor. You know have our coffee, watch the news, visit with each other. The time of 4:30 or 5 am, send shivers down the spines of some, not us, we are wide awake! Its our routine, and rarely changes. When it does change, we both laugh, like last week. Maybe it was two weeks ago, who knows? I clambered down the stairs, and Bill was on the computer(same as usual) with the exception, he had earphones, earplugs? in his ears?? I tapped his shoulder, and asked him what he was listening to. He shooed me away! Finally he lifted an ear thing and said, " I'm waiting to hear who won the Nobel Prize for Chemistry." WHAT.......I hollered, "Who does that Bill, it is so not normal!" AND......" I wanted to talk about how the squirrel population is increasing, as per Kelly Rippa!"
We are two very different peas in the pod, and it makes me laugh. We celebrate thirty-two years of sleeping in the same bed. Me with three pillows, and he with none.( He has one, but its so flat, I don't count that one)
He is all science, and I am all literature,art, music. He is the Box, and I'm swinging from the hinges. He is lucky that I love an educated, overly smart person and I'm lucky that he enjoys my spirit!!( Kind way of saying off the charts personality!) I'm dripping southern stories, and Bill is story-less. Did they have stories in Buffalo, New York? I think not, they were all frozen!!! He is my Bob Newhart to my Ann Margaret!!! It works, so we celebrate another year of laughter, through the many tears, we still laugh. 

Andy, Thank You More Then Moon River

I'm sitting at the kitchen table, my place of work, thinking about Ward. I wish that I could say , after five years, that grief was not an appendage. It just would not be the truth. Last week Bill and I both thought we had seen him. Bill thought Hart was Ward coming into a restaurant and I thought I had seen Ward walking up our front stairs. Grief lays in wait, and time helps you to not collapse when visited. So I depend on the universe and God to provide me with relief and it comes daily, and in strange ways.

Last week, the singer, Andy Williams died from cancer. I loved Andy Williams, I mean, really loved. Like I loved Dr. Kildare, The Beatles and Joe Namath!! Moon River is probably one of my favorite songs. So after I called mama to share our loss of Andy, I began a frantic search for the piano sheet music to Moon River. Remember my house is still under construction, and I don't know where things are, surely I could find the music. Think again, to the moon and back I looked. I found Christmas music and The Beach Boys, and so much more, just no Moon River. So I brought in the Calvary, Hart and Emma, to go on line and print me out some sheet music, STAT!! Hart, my favorite son, this week, quickly printed off the music. One page??
" Where is the rest of the song?" I asked. "Oh, isn't this enough to get you started, do you need the whole thing?" replied demoted favorite son. I thanked him for making a semi-effort, and began to play one line of the music.  Moon River, wider then a mile.............You dream maker, you heart breaker.......played all with one hand, forget the chords!! I was in grief!!!! I have practiced it all week, and sung to my hearts content. Just the one page, was enough to say thank you. Thank you for your Christmas specials before Claudine shot Spider! You calmed my young heart, and now calm my broken heart.

Henry Mancini, I thank you also. I never know what will help me get through the days, but I do know something always does. Some may call it miracles,today I call it Moon River.

Unvarnished Conversation

I'm pretty sure most people do not wake up humming The Godfather theme music, yet today it was I. Either I dreamed of Michael, the early years, or I was going to have a "sleep with the fish" kind of day. Never a dull moment being me! So I proceeded with my day of lists, and picking off things that I did not feel urgent in my book. I started two loads of laundry, that will remain there awhile, and walked the dog. Had unvarnished conversation with myself, and explained to the worker men, that I was not talking to them!

It was too hard to explain that talking to myself is normal, so I said I had some form of Tourettes. Of course these nice men do not speak English, so I hope that in their native language Tourettes does not mean," Yes I will show you my breasts!!!" They are still painting, but now I think the young one is looking at me strangely??

Anyhow the day marches on, so I decide to deposit my first retirement check. I think I may be the only person that goes to the bank anymore, and I like to go to the real tellers. My children roll their eyes, when I ask if they would like to go with me, which fascinates me. Why don't they think this may be an adventure? Well, they are grown and not home, but I remember those eye rolling days, and what all they missed!! So I load up Lucy, the lab, and head to the bank. I have my deposit slip and check ready to go. Friendly hellos are exchanged, and my teller comes on the microphone and says, " Mrs. Baron you need to redo the deposit slip, you cannot write in pencil." I laugh out loud, and reply, " Honey that is not pencil, that is dove gray fine point sharpie!" She keeps looking at it, and asks, "Are you trying to trick me?" Hmmmm, "No, as I hold up my pen.........Fifty Shades, I smile." She looks confused, (I thought all women had read the books, clearly she is not one of them) " Do you want fifties?" continues the lady behind the glass. Now I'm about to wet my pants, and I scream, " You have no idea lady, but tens and twenties will be fine!"

I return to home, still humming Godfather music, and ask Lucy if she had a good time. She barks, happy and rolls in the grass, eats her snack and naps with no cares in the world. I look at her closely while she is sleeping because I see a faint smile, and I think she is having my Al Pachino dream!!!! No one ever said Life was fair, but unvarnished it is!!!!

A Gentle Nudge....

  It is a glorious fall day in Atlanta Georgia, still packing some heat. Temps are hovering in the high 80's, and the painters remain a constant!
 When Bob Newhart, aka my hubby, speaks, "Bonnie, it has been ten days since you have blogged, what is wrong?"
" Painters being at my house for months on end, cause chaos in my brain!" I yelled in a ladylike fashion!
" I have many blogs in my head, but they are stuck. September has me under her thumb! flattened! ugh!"

So here I am, after I moved all the clothes off the table, that need to go upstairs! " How am I suppose to be creative and write, in a mess?" Guess that is what I get for writing in the kitchen, oh well , let me put pen to paper!!!

I have been diagnosed with ADD for many years, I think most people have it. For years I took medication, until I figured out that the meds helped my scatted brain, but took away my Bonnie-ness, so I just told my family and the world to enjoy my ADD, its who I am.
That is where my sense of humor comes from, and without that, no dice.
Last week was a perfect example of crazy fun in my brain.
While getting dressed for the day, I decided I was going to wear high heels like my Aunt Daisy. This thought just popped into my brain, while the lipstick was effortlessly applied. The stories of Aunt Daisy frying chicken in hooker heels for the people staying at her home. It was common years ago, that families opened their homes like a boarding house, to make extra money. Aunt Daisy was one of these angels. Living in Elba Alabama, in Satan's humidity, frying chicken in pumps. She did not waiver, whatever she was wearing, those heels were on her feet, even on her second job. Yes, after feeding the multitude, she worked in retail all damn day long, only to walk home at lunch, not a sandwich, a big mother cooter lunch!! Then when her feet were past going,  she would start dinner, remember there was no air conditioner!!!  Food from scratch, and her laughing like a school girl, happy as a meadow lark, in her high heels. My other aunties would tell stories of her clacking on the linoleum, cooking like a crazy lady. People adored her, and I knew her only from the endless stories. This one morning, I was going to wear heels outside in the yard, cooking supper, going shopping, sitting in a chair reading, I was going to prance like my Aunt Daisy, surely she must have known the shoes had secret powers, and I was not even cutting up a chicken!!! So I put on some beige six inch heels, and tried to walk down the stairs, holding on for dear life. They did sound good on the hardwood floors, should I talk to the painters in shorts, a tee shirt and my pumps? Absolutely, walk the dog?? Lord have mercy, make a cake? I already had to crank down the AC, and my calf muscles were beginning to scream, so I took them off and looked at the jewels, through out the day. I think they were on my feet less then an hour, but that hour was Awesome!!! How did she do it, my Aunt Daisy? I salute her style, and strength in hard times. I also wish I had a piece of her fried chicken, right now. I would even put on my big girl shoes to eat it, in her memory!!
Now let me go remind my partner for thirty two years, that I will do better and write each day, so as to entertain him!!!!

AMEN

I take the term, "Pray without ceasing" to heart.

So when it comes to nighttime prayers, they are short! " Thank you God for my bed, and electricity."

However, this week, there was one evening that required a "Thank you Jesus, my sheets smelled like Gator-Bone lake!" The lake of my childhood, so I pulled the sheets up to my chin, and sniffed away. Well they did not smell like the lake! they smelled like the sheets on the beds at the lake!!! with a dash of Noxzema!

Of course Bill said, " What are you doing?" and I preceded to tell him about the sheet smell. It was a beautiful thing, to instantly be returned to a time and place, of laughter, sunshine, cousins and clean, probably cheap! sheets. There were many bunk beds, housing all of us. There were no blankets, just you and the sheet, carefully spread across sunburned bodies of very tired children. There was no TV, no video games, only the rule to play outside until the adults call you.

The lake held us all day, and tucked us in at night.

And some forty years later, my sheets, took me back.

So on this one special night, before I closed my eyes, my prayer was, "Thank you God for my bed, and electricity and most of all for my Kate Spade expensive sheets, that smell like the lake!"(Do you think it has something to do with the thread count??)

Amen

Not On My Dime

 Seldom do I run errands to the post office. I, like others, order things on-line, and use e-mail way tooooo much! However I love the post office, beautiful stamps, weighing my little parcels, people watching, yes it is a fascinating place. I prefer them to have an old wooden floor, and a similar smell of the library, but that has long gone. So a few days ago( it could have been a month, I'm on retirement time, and that means no clocks, or calendars!) ( I love to clarify, when it doesn't matter!) continuing on, I had two big envelopes to mail to my grandchildren. Back to school treats were headed their way, and a chance to buy the newest stamp, a fun mini trip I had planned. OF COURSE, there has to be a kink in my chain.

I arrive with a skip in my step, mail in hand, looking at the stamps through the glass shadow box, when I heard an elderly (probably 50!!!) man ask for the manager, boss of the mail room. Damn it, not on my dime, are we going to have a bad confrontation, especially when I am next in line!!! I refuse to let somebody that is having a bad day take us all out!!! So I start looking to see if he has a gun, nothing. He seems to be leaning into this postman's space, and talking in a whisper, LORD!!! I begin to look in my purse for a weapon, I had a metal fingernail file, that would have to do. At that time, two other post-people come out from the back, and I hear the man say something to the effect that his mailbox lid is never shut properly. For the love of Jesus, people have way too much time on their hands, how bad could this be?? So he was ranting and one post-person said maybe he could put a magnet on the lid, when they opened another lane, NEXT, which was me. How am I suppose to look at stamps, and pick the perfect ones, with this Cra-Cra man still going on, and my post-person was acting a little snippy!!! I leaned over, and loud enough!! said, " Looks like you all may be having a bad day, but I wasn't until I walked in here, and I'm holding a finger nail file, so be nice!" He handed me my Finding Nemo stamps, and some with trees on them, plus mailed my gifts.

Yes the man was still in conversation about how to open and close a mailbox, and my nails were filed to perfection!!!

And the Songbirds Know the Score....

Songbird by Eva Cassidy has been playing constantly all summer long, and now I understand it!!! The birds know all!! Lately I can smell fall in the air, its percolating right outside my door. Although the sun and heat still embrace me, there is something in the air, and you know with me, panic starts!!!
This has been a very hot summer, and I am not yet ready to let go of the reins.
Music and Foreign films have been my passion of the summer, along with many other delights. Those two, just seem to have touched my soul.
As I mentioned above Eva Cassidy, started my end of May off to a good start, and she remains a daily prayer. Then one day, feeling stuck in my Eva rut, I re-remembered Joni Mitchell. I bought a CD of her greatest hits, and am still above the clouds with joy. Every song, each note, heavenly chords of long ago songs, Chelsea Morning come to me. She came through all of July, and then late August I found an old Dusty Springfield CD, that has brought me to the alter!!! Female vocalist have spent the summer at my house, and it's been grand. I know why the birds are wildly singing, its not frantic fall coming, they have heard my music. The ladies called their names, and they are thanking me, in the only way they know how, singing the score.
Brilliant Summer nears her end, with music in the background, always.

T.M.J., WHAT???

Last week I had the unexpected visit to the Emergency Room. This "I" is the same person that walked for a week on a broken leg, so you know I was hurting. My reason for this brief trip was my jaw would not open. I could not talk, eat and thought my teeth were falling out of my mouth. Had an earache, and spasms in my jaw. If I had just smelled burnt toast, a stroke was headed my way, instead I knew what the problem was.
T.M.J., temporo-mandibular-joint screwed up, or by another name, Too Many Jackasses making me stress out!

Major home repairs had caused me to clinch my teeth so hard, my jaw snapped. My face was swollen, ears were ringing, numbness and then when I could not talk, lord I was headed to the E.R.

So when I get to the front desk and Nurse Ratchet asked me if she could help me, I pointed to my face. She looked like she had stepped out of a Tim Burton movie, so I timidly whispered, "I can not talk." So my angel of mercy walked me like I was blind to a triage area, where she proceeded to ask me questions???  I still could not speak, so I muffled though some information, most of which was not true. Like " How much do you weigh mam?" " Oh, about 120" she kept writing....finally I went to the back, and had x-rays. Left with three different pain meds, and the doctor asked me if I wanted a shot to speed up the pain relief, NOW this is a good E.R.

When Bill picked me up( people thought I could not walk, very strange?) he asked if I wanted to stop and get some lunch?? " Bill I have just been to the E.R. for two hours, I can not open my mouth, and food would disturb the pain medication that is now traveling through my body!" he looked funny and said, " I can't understand you?" So I just pointed to my TMJ joint and frowned, sometimes the old school Helen Keller skills work the best.

I was better in three days, give or take a dozen, and have used my mouth guard at night and sometimes in the day, to give my jaws a well needed vacation. I have even come to the realization that I have a tendency to "over share" by talking too much, so now I just stay quiet and type!!!

You didn't think I would stop talking??did you?? 

All Bets Are Off The Table!!!

 A few days ago, I turned sixty. It does not have a good sound to it, but embrace it, I will. In fact change is in the air, I feel it.

Bill has been home lately, due to his semesters at Georgia Tech changing, sooo....I have felt the need to find us things to do. We have been going to Home Depot, daily, so to change it up, I mentioned breakfast out. He jumped at the chance to dine with me, so Waffle House we parked. Twice a year, I go to Waffle House, no more, no less. I stay at Waffle House if my feet don't stick to the floor. This particular time, the floor was a little tacky, so Bill looked at me with the "we are not staying " look in his eyes. He knows me very well, but I shrugged my shoulders and took a seat. I quickly drink three cups of coffee, to cushion the grease. We order waffles and one scrambled egg. They do have the best waffles, so we eat. Enjoying our pre-depot morning date, I dropped a huge piece of syrup covered waffle down my chest!!! It was lost in the crevice of no return!!! So I went in, all the way down, elbow deep, to get this off of me!! Bill looked away, until I dipped my napkin in the ice water, and proceeded to ALMOST take a bath!!  Hubs said, " My God Bonnie, we are at a restaurant!"......."People are watching you!!!"

So I responded to his near hysterics, " All Bets Are Off The Table, I'm sixty!"

I felt such joy! This sixty seems pretty good so far!!!!

People Who Need People, Many People!

  How the Olympics get organized astounds me. So many people involved, to make the cogs turn. I know how many people I need to function, surely the Olympics need more, right?

Just yesterday, I found it hard to understand why I could not view the festivities in real time. We live in the age of "now", so why wait until night?? No delayed gratification for me. I'm turning sixty! As Homer would say, " I don't even buy green bananas, you never know if you will be around to see them ripe!"
So you see, I knew there must be some computer something  to plug me into the Queens Quarters!
My precious, number four son, Hart Baron recognized my angst and said, "Mom just download the blah-blah app." ( I truly forget what he called it??) Stunned with a smile, I asked, " Can't you just do it for me?" Angel child spoke saying, " I'm trying to teach you to fish mom!"
Well that explains so much, here is the great divide.
"Sweet nine pound ham from my loins, you need to catch the fish, clean the fish, cook the fish and feed it to me, here is my i-pad!"

Queen Elizabeth meet your match, I have people. PLUS I don't have to wear those god-awful hats mum!!!

One Punch Bowl Over the Top!!

 If I'm blogging, it must mean I have found the kitchen table. You see??? the punch bowls have had me cornered. Yes there has been more stuff to shuffle,but the punch bowls fascinated me. How does one acquire four punch bowls, with glasses and sixty glass platters to lay out the spread?? Did we get these things from wedding showers, or people in coffins?? A mystery in the making, this July has me throwing away things, but not without a story to unscramble.

Redoing your kitchen will do this to a girl. All spaces had to be emptied, hence the BOWLS!!! We did drink punch in my lifetime, for every holiday and new baby. Weddings brought out the big ones on pedestals!!!and oh the ornate ladles to scoop and pour. The parties were many, and often, joy flowed from these crystal deep wells!!! BUT.....its time to let go.

Someone will find it at the Hope Store and shout, like a child on a swing, look what I found!!! A PUNCH BOWL. To use for a BIG salad?? a terrarium, or a large ass quantity of Mimosas for the ladies brunch.

The things we hold onto, for a day or sixty, help shape our personalities.

Funny bowls filled with stories, and Yes I did keep one!

There is a Way!

July continues to be my month of repairs, some say demolition?? Updates, watching too many home improvement shows, whatever you choose to call it, I call it "Up the Meds Time!" or " Is eight o'clock too early for vodka?" or " Mother of God this is a hot mess!" I know there is a light at the end of the paintbrush, but its just a flicker! I want to see the "flood-light" of something finished, I want serenity now!!!! Instead, I breathe and read. Yes, I can read in the jungle of house remodeling without missing a page!!

July I have had the privilege of reading; The Weird Sisters by Eleanor Brown, The Patron Saint of Dreams by Philip Gerard, To the Last Breath by Frances Slakey, Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson (loved this) and just finished Wild by ??? Oprah?? her new book club book, it was awesome. No Oprah did not write the book, she just reviewed it.

Wild was a book about walking the Pacific Coast Trail, something that would never appeal to me, yet fascinated me immensely. It is more about a person and her grief, and how nature teaches us. That is more as to the "Why" I read this book. Here below are some of my highlighted jewels from this very good book.

Talking about her mother-Her love was full-throated and all-encompassing and unadorned. Every day she blew through her entire reserve. 

She loved us more than all the named things in the world.

When my life became unmoored by sorrow

I folded my life down

My mom was dead, everything I ever imagined about myself had disappeared into the crack of her last breath (same as I felt about my Ward)

"You're a seeker" (Love that!!)

" I never got to be in the driver's seat of my own life" ( can you imagine that??not me)

" A longing so naked and sorry." I could go on and on with my lines of special sentences, this book is highlighted to the sky and back. It touched me and surprised me. A book about walking, touched my heart.

Reading is my pleasure, at all times. My small quiet room. Even when the rooms are in disarray!!

McCalls, Butterwick, Simplicity?

The patterns of our lives? Not the ones our mothers used to make, although I would kill for one of those many dresses, different patterns of everyday stuff. Especially when chaos looms, I ache for my schedule, such a creature of habit am I.

June has had me jumping in cars and on planes, with suitcase in hand. The house is also turned upside down, with worker bees buzzing in and out, my rhythm is off!!! No pattern at all, I'm a chicken with my head cut off, and the temperature is HOT!!! Summer time and the living is crazy good.

While in Miami earlier this month, I came home minus my favorite sleep mask. "Not a Biggie" you may think? Not so fast, they feed the engine. Bill said, "Just buy a new one." Good answer??? I could not remember where I purchased it from, what the name of the website was, but I knew I had it written down somewhere!! Remember my kitchen is being redone, and all my stuff is scattered with my brain! So I just started throwing things around, cook books, address books, old photographs, my bag from school,(that I have still not unpacked!). I tired to Google sleep mask, and nothing grabbed my astute attention. Then I opened a red folder with peoples birthdays listed, and there it was a folded piece of paper, with Dream Essentials listed, and the pattern of my mess made me happy. My system of not having a system, always comes through, often with casualties, but hey...watch out when people are throwing things!!!

To my joy, I found another saved e-mail, that I had printed( I do not save trees, I try?? I like paper)
It was dated Thursday evening July 12, 2007, 7:22pm. Addressed to Ward from me, it reads as follows;

Ward, you have such a set pattern, that when you don't eat or I don't see your scrubs on the floor, and we don't know where you are, its a tad off. All you have to say is where you are going. You are living here and its just good manners. Make good choices.
Ward was dead at approximately midnight, as per the coroner, from an accidental overdose .
His pattern was broken, and I knew it was broken, I just did not know it would be completely broken, forever.

I found my sleep mask and ordered a new one.
Loss of my Ward, not so easy to fix.

Life, complicated stitches, worth the wear.

Turn Right At MACHU PICCHU!!

Two GPS contraptions, two sets of map quests, hand written directions, and the fact we had both been to Asheville before, did not stop our endless "lost "looks that we exchanged last week. ( all English teachers can fix the above sentence, I'm too spent! and I don't care, but I am aware!!!!)

My best friend from high school and I went on a road trip to see one of our boys. Not one of our children, our boys of high school!!! Wally turned sixty and is suffering from a wicked disease called ALS, and we wanted to shower him with love. Little did we realize we had not been in a car together, for any distance, in thirty or forty years!! Lord have mercy, the tongues were wagging, and laughter was heard around the deep south for miles. How shall I say this, we failed to pay attention to directions. How can you listen to the GPS or look for road signs, when you are discussing who was the best kisser, and other things?? We had years of memories to discuss, and a few current issues as well. After we had gone through the same tunnel three or four times, and peed in our pants, we stopped and asked strangers for help. Through the tears and laughter, I said, "Susan we are educated and grown people, no wonder people called us special!!" We finally found our destination and it was so worth the trip. How wonderful to celebrate with Wally, and see that he has a host of other friends to watch over him, and continues to hope for a miracle. We do believe in them still, after all these years.

We left before it became dark outside, so we could see our way to Susan's sisters house, like that would help us!!! So after what seemed like an eternity, we called her and said, "We think we are lost?" but we were just one exit away, but by then paranoia had seeped in!! While we were stopped, for the hundredth time, we went to use the bathroom, a lovely place, not really, but....We saw Jesus on the bathroom door, we were doubled over on the nasty floor, laughing like mental patients. I told her it was indeed a sign, that we were going to find our way home, or at least not hit a deer on the highway!!

We should all take the extra effort and time to reconnect with the people we love. Healing comes in many forms, even when you are lost. I love you Susan. I adore you Wally. Thanks Ham and Wilma for letting me stay and visit.Thanks to Wally's caretakers for doing such a good job. Connor call if you need me, I will fly next time!!!

A Picture Does NOT Always Tell The Story

Mys day are tangled, so my stories may be also. I laugh to myself, like this is a new idea?? I'm always tangled in some fashion, my norm, my story!!

This summer we are redoing the kitchen and the dinning room, so far...my house looks like "Camp I-do-not-want -to be here" A big mess, with awesome rewards, I need my horse blinders on! So far the new fridge (ice-box in my neck of the woods) and dishwasher are installed. Oven and stove-top ordered, and we picked out granite!!! Sounds easy?

While driving, early this Saturday to the granite "farm", I asked Bill, " Why is it in every book I read, no one is having to pick out granite!?" So dread had seeped into my journey, and why I read so many books, became so very clear!!! However our experience with looking at over 125 slabs of granite, became one of my favorite things to do. It was like going to an art museum, each piece with a new story, and vein running through it. The lady, our tour guide, loved the granite as much as I did. We stroked each one, with gentle hands, looking for all the different gems, and imperfections. I nearly licked a few of them! Finally, I asked her if other people, take this granite as personal as I seem to have. She smiled and said yes, but she was trying to sell me the product??

I ended up picking the first one that I liked, I'm very use to not erasing the answers, going with my first choice. I like my style and my taste, and have been this way many years. Bill was in agreement with my decision, he walks with me on all my journeys. He whispered, "I know there is a blog in here somewhere!" when I laid on one slab like Jesus on the cross. It was seeing nature, all polished, beautiful. So we purchased our granite, and await the next phase.

While driving home, I started to cry. I asked him, "Do you think Ward would like it?" He was so much like me, he would hate the mess, but love the process of the "Granite Walk." Bill shook his head, no words. What I wanted to say was, " Do you think he will recognize the new things we have done, when he comes home?" Even though I know that is not possible, my heart felt a tug with getting rid of things, that he had touched, as silly as that seems. It's just objects???or is it???? My granite tells a story.

**The pictures are three views of one slab, trying to show you, its story.

Sixty What??

All my buds, or at least most, are turning sixty this year. It just seems crazy to me, in fact I think we are all soooo....young. Just this week one young man turned sixty and I thought about all of our "make-out" sessions, as if it were yesterday. Another turns sixty next week, and I think he has been sixty a long time, such an old soul. Love,love this person most of my life. I even let him borrow my bra, for a homecoming skit, and to this day, I do not think he returned it!!! I bought Susan and Paula birthday cards and gifts yesterday, for July and August, lifelong friends, and we are grown-ups??? We are all the hero's of our own stories, I hope. In my heart, I believe we are all so special, these sixty year old friends of mine.

Six Books Downloaded, I'm Packed!!!

Early morning flight to Miami, with my buds. We shall drink Cuban coffee, and tip cabana boys, who serve us well!!! Walk the streets of South Beach, with all of her colors ablaze. Satan's humidity calling me by name!
 "BONNIE (shouty capitals!!!) do you have enough things to read?" How nice of him to worry about my happiness!?? Hmm....do I?? I always like to have four or five ready to read, but on this trip, maybe I need more?? Is he testing me, I don't do well on tests!!! So I caved and downloaded two more, in case kidnapping cougars is on the rise. The Patron Saint of Dreams by Philip Gerard looks great. Short stories, work well at the beach, I can time my flip-over, makes for perfect tanning. Little choices made or ignored shape who we are, how we turn out. His Essays explore the whimsey of fate, I chose his book, and I like whimsey!!! Next one that I grabbed?, is The Emotional Life of your Brain by Harvard neuroscientist Richard J. Davidson. He says we have the power to alter our emotional style. How we perceive the world and react to it. I'm hooked, love brain books, so I'm packed!!!
"BONNIE are you sure?" what is with this Satan and my reading??
"Oh I get it, he knows I'm just going to keep reading Fifty Shades over and over!!"
Damn that devil!!! such a pest.

Awakening Joy

I recently read an article about seven simple ways to awaken Joy.
These are their ideas: Imagine Happiness
                                 Memorize Happiness in your Body
                                 Reframe your Fate
                                 Strategically Diffuse Worry ( Like that is going to happen??)
                                 Let Go of Feeling Busy
                                 Experience the Bliss of Blamelessness
                                 Seek the Good in Others
I think there are some good ideas, I like the idea of letting go of the busy feeling. I like Bliss duh!!! Imagine yourself happy(happiness in your body) NO!! I want the real thing. If your fate is constantly doing laundry, it is hard to reframe!!! I do firmly believe that Joy is not just for the lucky few.

My seven simple ways to awaken Joy are as follows:
Wear summer pajamas for longer periods of time                                                                             
Have great girlfriends who give you A Grey Tie!!!!                                                                                
Music will fix anything, it is the key to my heart                                                                              
Look for the goodness in people and lower your expectations!!! People tend to be cra-cra!!!
Read and read some more                                                                                
Six and seven, make up what your joy may be, we are all so different, and know my list is endless.........

I was walking to the sewing lady, Grace, today and the heat from the asphalt took my breath away, it was glorious. I thought what do people want, this is heaven!!!!

I was listening to some new CD, and the voice of angels filled my car, Music is Joy!!!!!!(Thanks Nat)

Bill(hubs) and I just went to a restaurant, that was awful, bad drinks, bad food, and I looked at him and said," We could be in India!!!and Brewster's in right around the corner!" 

You deserve Joy, I'm sending you some via this blog.

Two Speeds

Where has May gone? Tomorrow is the 18th, last day of school AND my last day of work. That is work outside the home!!! Retirement is a welcome friend, I just want to enjoy it!!! Which has been a slight problem, in the past. You see I have two speeds, one-climbing on the stage of The Rolling Stones Concert, or two-spending hours sitting by the ocean. I can be very still, calm or hanging from the rafters. AND soon to be sixty years of age. All these things unleashing at the same time, it is bound to be another journey, saddle up!!!

I'm ready.

The other night watching "Harry's Law", the main character, played by Kathy Bates (love,love) woke up looking like we all do, eye mask, ear plugs, breathing strips, non just f**ked hair. She gruffly said, " This getting old sucks, I miss the ages between 18 and 49!" Love Ms. Bates, but the words they give her to deliver are jewels. She just wanted a few years back, it was just perfect. I don't think I want any years back, they all molded me just so....Bonnie-ish....and I'm good with that.

The new prospect of not being in the work force, I'm good with that also.

There is Joy to be had.

Turn On A Dime

 My friend Nancy, had a daughter graduate college last Saturday, and Sunday morning her other daughter was dead. A traffic accident had swept her away from us, at the age of 25. Of course lives have been shattered, with no relief in sight, and I search for words.

How do I tell her, I love her, and I understand. I lost Ward, I did not lose Brooks. Our first born children are gone, and my ache for Nancy is that I do know. Do I tell her that she will feel insane on many days, and see Brooks face in many places. She will smell her, and hear her voice at times. Maybe I warn her that she may think all of her teeth are falling out, from gritting your teeth so much, that you think your teeth are crumbling. I think she should know that it is OK, to stand outside in the dark for hours listening to nature, and how all your senses are so tuned in. Often it is better to let someone else drive you, because for some strange reason tears flow harder when your foot is on the gas pedal!! Compassionate Friends saves parents and siblings lives after tragedies. Talking, screaming, and laughing with people who are members of this horrible group of strangers that have lost children, is healing. Continuing to work can help or not, we are all so different in our grief journey, I can only pass on my story. Shock is your friend, there is much in the first year that is just gone, and maybe that is good?  There was a "peace" that came to me, because all my fears were gone. You see, having a child die, is every mothers lifelong fear, and I had faced it, as you do now Nan-Nan. Time does not heal, its just time. Time does keep moving, and somehow we move with it.

When you are stronger(I know that seems like never) I will come stay with you for a weekend, and sit and hold you, and have you tell me all about Brooks. I want to know everything about her life of joy on this earth. We are lucky, these precious kids....our kids......we would only change the ending.

From a state away, I send my love and prayers.

Some Called Him Robert

The movie Bob Marley, or maybe its just called Marley, is playing at some off the wall art theater downtown. Friday evening, keeps me near the home, but I want to see the movie. So I begin to chatter about who may want to go see it with me, KNOWING my son Hart would be the only other free spirit in the room!!! Bill and Emma were not even sure who I was talking about, they crush me!!!  It's Friday evening and I know chances are slim of seeing Bobby wail, when Hart said, "Mom you know first run movies are on demand, or Roku , or coming through the TV somehow!!" WHAT, movies at the theater, I can watch from home, hook me up!!!
Lo and behold, there it was, a feast for my eyes and ears. I could almost smell the pot through the screen, or maybe it was the dreads!! You know that hair had to smell, but I could not go there, ruin my "Come to Jesus" with Bob Marley. The movie is long.....long......SOME LOVE long.....but special, hot Jamaica weather special.

Bob Marley had eleven kids with seven women, his rules were a little off center. He was not voted father of the year, or husband material, but they all adored him. Robert, as some called him, was a Rastafarin, an odd religious sect, that I think people in Jamaica lean towards, due to humidity!!! Honestly, poverty, tons of weed and humidity=Rastafarin!!! The man was gifted, he could put a spell on you with his music, and for that I love him still.

Marley died at the young age of 36, from melanoma cancer that had spread all over his body. I hope he tells his Rastafarin god person, that taking him so early was a big fat mistake. While he is talking to the man, he can say thank you for leaving us behind with such music!!! It's only fair, I never like to mess with chicken voo-doo gods of any kind.

Thank you Bob Marley for singing about Peace and Love, and stirring the pot!!( The political pot, people!)

JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT of WRONG

I know...I cannot stop talking about Shades of Grey!!!! In fact I felt the need to scan all three books once more, dare I miss something!!! My entire month of April has been caught up in his damn tie!!! The grey one!!! My girlfriends and I have hung on every word, and made up our own words if needed!!! I have tried to figure out, dissect why I am so attached to this little story. Of course it is saturated in "mind -blowing" sex, that has never had me turning the pages so slowly before. The romance is the exchange of glances and e-mails, and when he touches her bottom lip with his thumb!!!The true story, that stirred lust in my heart??and naughty bits!!! was that she, Anastasia, NEVER has to do laundry. Nor does she need to go to the grocery store, or cook. She has a personal shopper, her closet is filled with clothes. She has her GYN doctor make house calls!! CG washes her hair, now that is some hot stuff!!!! Did I mention that he tells her hourly that she is beautiful, and she is his MORE!!! As my feet hit the floor this Sunday morning, and I stopped to clean the cat vomit off the floor, before my coffee, I took a breath!! No wonder women are sucking the words off of the pages of these books. I just need more people, and maybe a grey tie!!! Above photos are of strangers, all looking for Christian Grey and folded laundry!!!

Sixty is Looking Better.....

For several years now, I have declined invitations. There was no strength to share, I needed it all to survive. Fear and Dread hounded me, and to walk even among friends was difficult. It seemed crazy to pretend that I was alive, even when my heart was beating. Little did I realize that love inherent is the human family. My friends and family continued to lay low, and try to embrace my isolation. I knew in my heart that strength comes in many forms,this past Sunday night it came in the faces of my friends. Roars of laughter, echoed for hours, causing people seated near us, to want what ever we were having!!! Years ago this would have been common for me, dinner with friends, not so much since Ward's death. I have been taking baby steps, even with some of my dearest friends. This Sunday night, I felt like something lifted. We celebrated one of our girls turning sixty, and I think I received all the gifts!!! The food was exceptional, the wine flowed freely, and time seemed precious to me once again.
Let's do this again real soon. Sixty is looking better all the time, there is certainly strength in experience, and lord we do have some stories!!! Fifty Shades of Cra-Cra!!! I love you.

C.G.

Do the above initials mean anything to you? If you answered no, stop reading.
Now if they do remind you of Christian Grey, read on.
There are certainly many well written good books out to read, and then there are books that read us!!!!
Fifty Shades of Grey

Darker Shades of Grey

Fifty Shades Freed

by E.L. James

Degrees of color, I think not. Comparative darkness, not much. Mommy porn, well....yes and yes again. Women of all ages are abuzz, an erotic novel in the burbs!!!! in between tennis matches!!! Yes and yes again. The trilogy has me in a stupor, its complicated, sexy and worth devouring.
This is a love story, with some.....how shall I say.....handcuffs and whips!!!! This is not Eat, Pray Love but......prayer does come to mind!!! I think I may have heard the angels sing several times while reading these jewels!!!
This book is for women only. Its taboo and delicious, and a must re-read for me, just in case I missed something!!!! My Kindle is recharging as I type, mercy!!!

The book cover alone, that tie!!??

Road Trip with Grown Children!!

We have always traveled by car, because we had no more kidneys to sell, for airfare with five children. Even when there were four, then three and now two stragglers want to GO!!! No one cares where, they are jumping on the adventure ride, period!!!
I like to travel by air, to downtown Atlanta! Car rides have lost the laying in the backseat, while your father drives feeling of peace.
So I happen to mention a road trip to J'action'ville, to see my people. Hart and Emma were packed, at the thought. I have no complaints, they drive and I count road kill!!! Florida is a few hours away, enough time for reflection!!! They want to hear the stories, about Gatorbone lake, Andrew Jackson, the Jetties, how I did not have a curfew, church friends vs school friends??, Kenmore street, all my loves, how I use to practice kissing into my pillow and then on the glass panes of the french doors!!! Then I ask them if they want to learn Italian!!!! plug in the cd. The angels will remind me, that all hours in the day, are not teaching opportunities!!! Oh YES they are!!!
We are all packed, as if it is the last supper. You never know!!! my motto, take six of all, even for three days. We have an extra bag for all the cords , that fit electronic equipment, Homer will have hours of material over that tidbit!!!
I'm so grateful that my children want to take trips with me, and get on a plane to visit near, and far. Traveling is never easy, but so worth the trip.

OH DEER!!!! Ticks!!!!!

This warm winter, we enjoyed herds of deer, trolling through our backyard. Abundance of nature, three steps away. A nice photo op, then we were throwing apples out back, because they could be hungry. There is no such thing as a free meal, Bambi and her mother have remained for the spring. They also have invited cousins, bags packed for the summer. The boundary lines between wild animal friends and suburbia have shrunk. The dog doesn't bark at them anymore, they lay down and nap!!! Next, I know they will be asking for drinks and nachos! Recently I heard two of my adult children, calling them names, like Sally and baby Jane!!! Not good, naming is never good.
Now I have to proceed with my deer tick lesson. You can DIE from these ticks, they will hop over the fence on us, and make us sick, running crazy in the streets!!! I have called in my yard person, to cut down all branches and cool ivy, make their habitat not so comfortable. ( I will pick up the quilts before he comes, you know we thought they were cold this winter!!!) Honestly, I would not change the fact, that my family loves animals. Right now, we have to just be happy with the dog and cats in our life, and let Bambi go! Deer in suburbia, against mother natures plan for these precious beasts. I may have to bring out the big guns!! NOT GUNS!! the movie Born Free!!!!

Some Assembly Required...

Anne Lamott has written another, jewel in her crown, book. Some Assembly Required, A Journal of my Son's First Son, is a love note to her son. The book also depicts a year with her new grandson, Jax and navigating around the baby boys mommie!! Truly it is, like all of her books, a story of her fully flawed human life. I so connect with all the truth that she writes, her analogy that we are all here in one big penal colony!!! She reminds me that life comes on life's terms, not Bonnies!!! What a concept, that is soooo...hard for many. We are powerless, and YET control freaks, especially moms of the world. I march at the front of that list. She writes that so often she needs to control and spread her sickening fear ubiquitous litany of good ideas!!! YES, I have those ideas too, and for sure I am right!!! Maybe not always, and being able to say that is wisdom. When you forget about yourself in the big picture, that is Ms. Lamott's idea of heaven. She tells her son, that she cannot remember not knowing and loving him. That one sentence, is the most beautiful thing I have ever read. She also reminds him, about raising his son, that it is hard now, and shall be hard all the days of his life!! In my opinion, she could have said that again!!! Life is wicked hard, and wonderful beyond words. One of her friends said," Grace is a small white butterfly, and life is a semi trailer careening up I 95 headed your way!"
This woman of grace, Anne Lamott, touches my soul with her words. She is a woman of faith, and common sense, a rare bird. She has a God Box that when she is up against the wall, and all prayed out, she puts the problem, or person's name on a slip of paper. Then with great hostility she hands this prayer to Jesus, and says, "have a go at it!!!" Her honesty is so palpable through the pages, even the Kindle. Thank you Anne, I'm so grateful for you and yours. Letting me know that Love and Grace are bigger than the nightmare, supposedly!!!!Brilliant work!!!

You Think Someone Could Teach You To Dance?

Dancing With The Stars is back on the tube, and I'm giddy with excitement.
After watching this week, I have swished and swayed instead of walking. I have won over all my family members, convincing them that this is entertainment. Now to hear them talk, they can critique all the numbers, from Salsa to Rumba. They remind me that next week is the Fox Trot! We discuss gowns, and the lack of chest hair on the men!! It's riveting conversation. I occasionally have to shush the crowd, I have to concentrate learning my moves!! This is serious stuff. After my love of Mighty Mouse, came a crush on Gene Autrey, then I saw Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly dance, now that was love. I was a child, a baby who knew what she wanted!! I wanted them to glide me all over the dance floor, hold my hand in theirs, swing me and my Ginger Rogers gown all over the floor. They were magic, and this baby was going to dance. Somehow Tarzan came into the picture and I wanted to be Jane, but that dancing queen never left me. So you see why I'm thrilled to be getting my twinkle toes ready to move, even if it is via the telly. I've still got it, I danced all the way upstairs the other night and asked my Bill if he thought someone could teach him to dance?? He stopped snoring and said "NO." He is lucky I don't anger easily!!! and I know he loves to see me dance. He also knows I love Fred Astaire more in some moments!!!! Like now!!!

Where is Murray State?

March Madness basketball is making me "Mad as a Hatter!"
Oregon, Murray State, Boise?? who are these people?? Bill said, " You like Vanderbilt, don't you?"
"I don't care if they win or lose? tonight or any night." It is just too much, game after game, after game. Thank God the weather is, Judy Garland's red shoes, beautiful.
Some people drive around looking at Christmas lights, I nearly wreck the car, looking at spring. The earth comes alive(I just heard the word BCU come from the basketball watching people in my den, that I use to call family!!! BCU, don't care!) with blinding colors, like the BIG box of crayons, all with pointed tips!!! Birds are freaking tweeting their beaks off, landing on every branch in my yard. A woodpecker was so loud, I had all Barons combing the house for a burglar, until I saw the giant red-headed pecker taking down a pine tree. My yard man, Mr. H, spread pine straw today, and you would have thought it was the second coming of Jesus, I was so happy. Sunshine, warm air, windows open, pollen caked on all things standing still, March Madness be gone!! I have Spring, and my brackets are all marked correctly!!!

Happy Birthday Class of 1970

This is the year that we all turn "60", and it makes me smile.
My precious daughter just this week said, " Mom the 80's are calling and they want their scrunchie back!!" Little does she know, that I may pull out Go-Go boots from the 60's and my Abbey Road Album from 1970! I have furniture from the 40's and 50's, and I still have a serving spoon from our senior breakfast!!!! There has been a lot of living in these 60 years, and it makes me proud.
My memories are still 'intact" and even embellished !!!!! My growing up years were the best, my children still listen to MY music, and consider me a classic!!! ( that is not like a car?? is it)
Yes it may be a miracle that we survived, but we did, and we flourished. This liberal group of free spirits grew up, and some even became the "R" word!! How I don't know, we were high on pot and life! We are bright, creative people with a "Joy" about us. Hard times did not skip over us, it fell on some hard, and we all picked up the pieces. I can not begin to explain how much I love these people, my class of 70. There are no words, maybe just calling them family, says it all.
Happy Birthday Class of 1970

Laughing is A Must Have

Life changes on a dime, and if I have learned ANYTHING in my almost sixty years, it is you HAVE TO LAUGH!!!! Also I believe we have children, to keep us laughing.
My kids have a wicked sense of humor, and seem to enjoy making me howl.
Brian and Hart hold the prize, but all the other Baron Bunch have their way too.
I'm a proud momma, comedians for kids.
Not one day, not ONE, do I not laugh out loud. I repeat, NOT ONE DAY!!!
Recently Hart has turned me on to a TV show, that has put him at the top of the children pedestal!!
An Idiot Abroad, The Bucket List. The premise is simple, a man, takes another persons bucket list, and attempts to find joy!!! Most of our lists are not the same, I know climbing mountains, of any height is not on mine. Nor is any jumping off of bridges or out of planes. So you can see, one man's bucket list, is not necessarily the other mans. This does not even sound that funny as I type, and it is hysterically funny. The man they send on all of these jaunts, is a miserable fuddy duddy. He has a hard time, finding anything that even makes him smile, so this is torture for him. Plus he is British, need I say more? What a funny lot of people, those Brits. Ricky Gervas is one of the producers, genius!
Thank you number three son, for just being you.