Time and Reality

When our house was full of kids, I did not notice time. We had schedules, bath time, supper time, basketball practice, football practice, softball practice, homework time! Cooking and more cooking, washing clothes and more clothes, I used up every second of the day.
Now no kids at home, and I have NO TIME. There is no order, minimal structure and I'm spinning in circles. The hamster wheel, is non-stop, and now the time is changing! Sweet Mother of God, is there ever enough time?
My lists, have lists.
I think this time of the year, I feel sandwiched, rushed to get the Halloween decos down, and few turkey's thrown about, and BAM! it's Christmas.
I want to cherish each day, and make it go slow, and the reality is......nothing is slow, except me!!!
After a loss of a child, time becomes somewhat different. There is a point, where it doesn't even matter to you, what time it is, or what day. Next week Ward will have been gone 40 months, I still count the days, since he left us. Lately I have been concentrating more on the 25 years he was with us. The precious time, that I had him near. He was not with us long enough. Often I think, how much time would have been enough?
I have a friend, who has been diagnosed with ALS. How much time will this wicked disease give him to live? Four years, forty? It is not fair, and it's not enough time. He is my friend and I want him well. Is there enough time, for stem cell research to help him?
How do we measure time?
Bill says that I worry too much, and ask too many questions!! Please...I'm on a hamster wheel, what do you expect?
So I will do some research on ALS, and see what I can do for my friend. I will continue to honor the life of my Ward, each day.
My children will be called daily, or e-mailed, and loved UP!!! My animals, royally spoiled, all of the time. Bill will be waited on, time after time!!( that is a lie, he waits on me, and this is no time to change that!!) Work will be work, that I still enjoy, and the rest I will put on a list!!
My many lists, for my large life. I would not have it any other way.
Now when do we change the time?????