Fly the Friendly Skies!!!!

Should be cooking, on this Wednesday before Thanksgiving, but needed to vent, before I stir a pot.
Why in the world are people freaking about a "pat-down" at the airport?
I want to have a safe flight, if someone has to sit on the wing, and shoot birds, let it be!!
X-ray machines, as big as old Cadillacs, zap me twice!!! Zap animals, people and pilots!! packages, luggage, and luggage handlers!!!! and if you want to throw in a pap smear, sign me up!!!
In fact, I hope whomever is coping a feel, while looking for bombs, is using a vibrating wand of some description. We are not the Puritan Pilgrims, coming over on the Mayflower. Times have changed, people put bombs in underwear, and on shoes. If you don't want an x-ray, or to be touched by strangers, YOU DON'T FLY! Simple, stay home.
I love to fly, and I have people I need to see. So let the fingers do the walking!!!! I don't care.
Weigh me, check my teeth, please just spend as much time checking the plane engine as you do me, it's only fair. Three Delta planes had to have emergency landings recently, due to engine failure!!
Can we have a few extra x-ray machines on the runway, and maybe some mechanics who are good at probing!!!!
I will be flying in December and January, looking forward to flying safe. Hope everyone and everything is thoroughly examined, and they don't bill me for it!!
Who am I to turn down a good "pat-down"??