New Ink

    In this day of computers, I still think we can use the term, New Ink.
    New typed just does not have the same ring to it.
    I use to love a good fountain pen, ink all over your fingers and papers by the end of the day.
    I use this term, to just explain, a new page. A new thought, story, rant that has crossed my mind in March.
    Sitting down to peck at the keys, with no known path, always a treat.

     My horoscope a couple of weeks back- The magic doesn't need you to believe in it. It goes on
regardless, a gift for any taker. This is one of the few times when it's OK to be a taker( there are more than a few times to be a good taker!!Please.) Take as much as you want. There is plenty to go around.

    I find comfort is knowing that life shows us so much magic. Nature is putting on a magic show right now!!I'm on the taking end of that! Soaking up every minute of each ,new, bursting spring flower. Sunshine and Easter, delicious and Jesus Christ Superstar, crank it up. High Holy Days, are lily field spectacular. It is a a joyous time, I hope for all.

   I also find extreme sadness during this holiday. I think it is the promise of the risen Christ and my son is not here on earth any longer. Making sense of a child's death, is an everyday question I have for the Jesus on the Cross.The inescapable loss of irretrievable days I never had, that I will never have ( not my words, but ran into them reading the paper, and the person speaks from my heart.)
   I had a very bad dream about Ward this week, and I woke up, as usual with some questions!!?? I spoke to the universe, " You would think a mom who has lost her child, could at the very least, not have a bad dream about that child, ever!" Still talking to GOD, while I have her attention, " Come on, I have tried to be strong , but if you are the holy one, and healed the blind, let me not have a nightmare about my Ward."
    I was in a religious funk, at this magical time of the year, and I just waited in faith.
    Watching the TV show, Greys Anatomy last night, after a grand late dinner with wonderful friends. I had taped the show, so I tuned in. One of the characters, had lost her faith in humans and the holy one, when this patient told her, he saw her pain. I think you can see and feel peoples pain, well that patient saw hers. He was dying a horrible death, and wanted no morphine, and she wanted a fix!! ( like me!) He told her, who was she to ask so much of God, to fix all of the bad things that had happened in her life. Then he proceeded to tell of all the suffering Jesus and his followers had to go through. ( he may have been a minister, or just a pretty smart man) Anyhow, he said, that dying of a reaction to medicine that usually heals people, was not on his plan for his day. He had done nothing to deserve this pain, and untimely death. Bad things happen in the world, and God sees and hears us.
(I so wish I could remember every word he said, maybe I will google it, or you can too. Last nights episode of Greys.) To make a short story long!! The redheaded doctor, ( cant remember names, have only watched the show for about 11 years!) felt a peace come over her, and she did not need answers right then. I looked around the den, to see if others were getting this big message , and I smiled. I cried a little, " OK, I get it, right now I get it, but it does not mean I will not have questions, tomorrow. This is so hard, but I trust in Easter Morning, so I must have to trust you or any given Thursday also." ps..."Thanks for the sign, via the telly, you are magic."
    I hope Easter weekend finds you happy, healthy and whole.
    Spring turns over a new Month, and maybe your have some new ink to write down a page or two.
    Absorb all the magic coming your way, and if there is none, look again, its there for the taking.
    It is a promise, from an empty tomb.
 

Alice: This Is Impossible. The Mad Hatter: Only If You Believe It Is.

            Yesterday mid-morning, I received a phone call from my brother, Benji. My brain, in an instant, went to who may be hurt, or dead!! You see we don't talk all that much. Mom and Dad are still alive, and we communicate through mom. We all text, but something bad you have to call, so I was freaked.
     Instructions for further reading.
          1. Benji=B=Brother
          2. Bon=Me-Sister to B
          3. AC=Alice Cooper
  B-"Hey, I have someone that wants to talk to you."
  Bon- " Who?"
  B-'Wait a minute."
  AC- " Hello, I have your brother, he is in jail, for dancing naked on tabletops."
  Bon-" This is no surprise, who is this?"
  AC- " This is Alice Cooper."
  Bon-" Well, Hello, how are you?"
  AC-"Your brother wanted me to call you,"
  Bon-" That is so nice, I love you." ( I just lay it out there!)
  AC- " Awe, Thank you."
  Bon-" Your concert was one of the first ones, I ever left from."
  AC-'Really?"
  Bon-" Yes, I was young and in the front of the stage, on the floor, when I heard babies screaming, and the person in front of me turned, around and was dressed like you. Then the guillotine, scared me to death."
  AC-"Laughing, we still use the guillotine, and we tell people now, down front ,that they will probably get sprayed with fake blood. We also tell them to not wear white clothes!"
 Bon-" I also could not police my kids too much on their choices of music, for goodness sake, I had seen you, Alice Cooper."
 AC-" He laughed."
Bon-" I hope you are a good person."
AC-" Of course, I am."
Bon-" I just can not take being disappointed in my humans anymore!"
AC-"Well let me give the phone to your brother."
Bon-" Thanks for the call Alice."
B-" Can You believe this??"
Bon-" Screaming, That pretty much made my day. I feel all of 19!! Thanks for thinking of me B."
B-" I do what I can!"

       Not everyone has a brother like mine, I have two brothers that rock!!
       To get a call from Alice Cooper, puts B on the top of the heap, right now!!!
       In the book, Alice in Wonderland, Alice says: " How long is forever?"
                                                              White Rabbit: " Sometimes, just a second."
Well it took my brother, Benji, a second to think about his big sister, and Alice Cooper a few minutes to make me remember this morning forever.
      Shock Rock Superstar Golfer, Alice Cooper, you are our Mad Hatter, and we love you!
      The Blackman/Baron crew.

Those Who Can, DO! Period!

      George Bernard Shaw said, " Those who can, do; those who can't teach.
      I believe all things living and dead are teachers, so I only take away from that quote, Those who can, Do!!
      Years ago on Romper Room, Miss Penny would look in her mirror and call out random names.
      They were good DO-Bees!! I waited each morning for my name. I have always been a Do-Bee!
      ( a good one, on occasion) When she called a Bonnie, I was set for many days!!
      I think giving back, paying forward, kids walking out to speak their minds about guns and violence, DOING! is a must for all people. Doing good, a listening ear, a surprise gift in the mail, a call or text, a pat on the back, a prayer or a million!! Flowers in a vase, helping someone cross the street, endless ways to be a better person. Even in the depths of hell, your lower then a snakes belly, you CAN DO SOMETHING . We are all teachers, including someone who left us recently.
           I was so quietly saddened about Stephen Hawking dying.
    I told  Dr. B last night, that I just felt, empty or something I could not put my finger on.
    This not perfect man, with a horrendous disease and a brain extraordinaire, is now in the universe, he knew so well.
    Two reviews of his updated and expanded edition of A Brief History In Time sums up my feelings.
            " This book marries a child's wonder to a genius's intellect. We journey into Hawking's universe while marveling at his mind." The Sunday Times-London

             " Lively and provocative...Hawking clearly possesses a natural teacher's gifts, easy, good-natured humor and an ability to illustrate highly complex propositions with analogies plucked from daily life." The New York Times
             You do not have to agree on this theory, if you don't believe in Science, it is your right. I think you can believe in God and Science, my opinion. You can not argue with his gifts to us, his mind, his desire to live with ALS far beyond his time. His ability to teach, explain, clarify, and humor us. He really is an amazing human, and I say, "Thank You Dr. Hawking." I believe you were a good DO-Bee, and we have yet to learn all that you are going to teach us.

          Now that is off my chest, I would like to share with you just a little Can Do action on my part.
  The family was headed to a tiny local restaurant for two dollar taco Tuesdays! The young girl at the front desk, as we were walking in, stopped me, and said, " Oh I love that necklace!" ( I had to feel around my chest and neck to see which one I was wearing) I replied, " Oh yes, thank you, I like it too!" ( I love my stuff!)  Good meal was had by all, baby Wyatt was handed off to all who could entertain that love muffin!! I love a good Margarita, a plus!
      We load up to get out to the car, when I see the young girl, a little stressed with people coming in all at once. ( You know I was early) She is on the phone, and talking to customers coming in. I had a moment of clarity ( which is rare), I walked behind the front desk, took off my necklace and put it around her neck. She was still on the phone, and could not speak, but her eyes were moist, She was shocked. A moment later, ( we had stopped to talk to dear friend) she came around and hugged me, and looked like, why are you doing this? I whispered in her ear, " You are worthy, and strong and I love you." End of story.
        Stories never end, I was leaving with my family, and they asked if that was one of my old students? " No, complete stranger, she just needed a spark of something good, to get her through."
      You have to be aware of what is going on around you, and be prepared to give, or DO!! I had the opportunity, and she was gracious receiver. She will never forgot the small act of this older lady, and neither will I. Someone asked if the necklace was expensive? If I thought about the cost, it negates the gift. I had enjoyed it for years, and now it was hers.  We all can DO. It doesn't have to cost a thing, and it doesn't matter if it does, those who can DO, and we all are teachers, period.
          Again, Thank You Dr. Hawking for your being your best, and teaching me, in any small or big way to DO better. Learn more, never stop learning and Do more, in all areas of this earthly time.
         The universe is a big canvas, and I have a lot of painting left to do.

Ready For The Day, Early, DNA

    I have never been late in my life, to anything. Blackman Family rules, arrive early. Dress in the early morning for success, even on the weekends!! Be prepared, no dishes in the sink, or bed unmade.
    Done and Done.
    I have a funeral to attend today at 2, and I sit at the computer dressed in black, ready in my head. Maybe not in my heart.( I was ready by 7, I think it may be around 9:30 now!! Some people are not even up!!) I think people are always anxious to go to funerals, but parents saying good-bye to a child, takes on a whole different kind of sadness. I wish I did not know how that feels, but I do, and my heart hurts for them. But I am ready, strong and watching my breathing. It is called a homecoming, and that I believe. The universe welcomes this young man, some call it heaven, I just know it is home. Peaceful and bright, and warm!! ( I ask God always, please make our souls soar in warm air!) Death seems so cold, the word, the thought, I need heaven and the beyond to be warm and truly filled with light!! I think it is. I pray that all of those touched by this catastrophic loss, embrace grief, you cannot run from it, and find this same warmth in their earthly bodies. It is a new journey, difficult and exhausting, but....( there is always a but!) you will survive, and parent this child forever. Parent his memories, say his name loud and often. Love, Love, Love only grows.
        Now to switch gears, for my sanity and strength.
        We, (hubby and I) said good-bye to our World Literature Course, last week. We ended on the Lusiads, and my brain was fried. I took this course for my own curiosity, to see if I could find something to like and understand about these early books/epics. We all studied them, at some time in our life, but we were young. Even when I tried to help my children, with these same stories, I hated every minute. I remember Hart ( my son) telling me, "None of this makes any sense!" I think we were on Gilgamesh, or Homer/Illiad , and me agreeing!! " Find a few words, and see if they fit in any of the questions!!" ( I was not in a good mood!)
      So this time, I am 65, and seasoned and educated, can I understand them? They were so much better. I did not hang on every word, but I did love the process and learning so much more. I was patient with the stories and they were with me. One thing that stood out more than anything else, was how like the stories in the bible they are. Very interesting, also how they were written before paper. Also all the translations, none are the same. Something is either left out, or added. Such is history.
         Mrs. Wells would be very proud of me, she put a bug in my ear, many years ago. A spark, and was once again ignited. On too all of Shakespeare, Chaucer, I wand to read them all, and do good on my courses.
        We still have the cathedrals to finish, from Yale, it has been long....I think now, I can tell you what every stained glass story is called. I Have been surprised at the Zodiac information in cathedrals, and statues of men and women, showing their private parts!!! Different time and space, I guess. The biggest thing I took so far, was that people were illiterate, and the cathedrals told a story. They were some of the first story tellers. Every brick, every window, pews, choir lofts, outside the flying buttresses!!! The buildings began as a place to tell a story, to those who could not read. I wonder what story they are trying to tell us now. Fantastic buildings, Notre Dame, Saint Denis, and Chartres, I know every inch of those, and I think we have two more to go!! I wish all churches were this glorious, I hear God better through these walls,
      Now we have signed up with Columbia, The Civil War and Reconstruction, which is off the charts, awesome. All people should stop what they are doing and take this course. Just take something, that makes you grow.
      Well I need to do a few things around the house, there is always something that needs tending too!! Its a nice feeling to know, you can still accomplish little and big things.
       I think the clocks get moved today, somewhere, I do better with light, so I am delighted.
       I will still get up, get dressed and be ready for the day, DNA!! (plus Homer was military!!) ( Mary just loved to clean!) And none of us slept in!!  Thankful , that is me!

Dear March, Come In!

        As always, I look ahead at upcoming days, for the weather. I just like a rare glimpse of average temps, that may be altering my mood.
       The weekend was agreeable.Nippy breeze, and if ever still, the sun would warm you.
       My family in Boston had another story, a storm rained supreme on their shores, so worry, I did.
It was a mixed bag, which I believe is what the Lion and the Lamb represent.
       Dear March, Come In! as Emily Dickinson wrote so many years ago.
                          Dear March, come in!
                          How glad I am!
                          I looked for you before.
                          Put down your hat-
                          You must have walked-
                           How out of breath you are!
                           Dear March, how are you?
                           And the rest?
                           Did you leave Nature well?
                           Oh March, come right upstairs with me,
                            I have much to tell!

                           I got your letter, and the birds;
                           The maples never knew
                           That you were coming,-I declare,
                           How red their faces grew!
                           But, March, forgive me-
                           And all those hills
                           You left for me to hue;
                           There was no purple suitable,
                           You took it all with you.

                           Who knocks? That April
                            Lock the door!
                            I will not be pursued!
                            He stayed away a year, to call
                            When I am occupied.
                            But trifles look so trivial
                            As soon as you have come,
                            The blame is just as dear as praise
                            And praise as mere as blame.

I love this poem, and several that I googled, looking up poems, for March.
Charles Dickens has a great one, Walt Whitman another.They pointed me to yardwork!!
        While talking to my mother this weekend, she was March depressed, because she could no longer get in her yard, and tend to her flowers. I told her she was feeling the gloom of gray days, earlier in the week, and to hire people. She has a hard time, with that concept. I understand, that was one of her biggest pleasures, to take care of the inside and outside of her house. When it is a little warmer, and not so windy, she will be able to point and direct people a little better about what to do.
She needs a person who takes directions, and understands her love of her yard. There is really little left to do, a patch of grass, weeds in her rock gardens, that are to hard to tangle with. I think the rock gardens, need to be redone, or done away. I don't know. A couple of potted plants that she could water and keep high so she would not have to bend over. She got rid of most of her bird feeders, because she could not fill them anymore!! That is what happens with age, but these also are things that make her happy. My lawn person, Mr. Hernandez, would fill my feeders for me. He is like family, and knows what I need to have done. You see Hubs and I are inching toward, not being able to do all the yard work also. ( OK, we only plant a few things each summer, I have planted enough perennials to fill my gardens) ( we have lived here 28 years, my yard is seasoned!! and mature)
   I decided to pull some weeds yesterday, and asked the beloved to help. We covered about the size of a shoebox!! Bill wants to spray poison, and I want them pulled up, so we bicker and yank. I hold up the flowers, ( the organic chemist does not know plants) ( he says he is not a biologist) ( whatever, a lambs ear looks like a lambs ear!!!, you don't need Princeton for that!) so this is a long process. Then my Mr. Hernandez can put down the pine straw, after I get my beds ready. I lay out a color plan, for annuals, and prune all my dead stuff around. ( again bill would cut it all down to the ground!!) I have little homes for my rabbits and chipmunks to live and eat the plants in their area, and the plants the deer like, I plant inside the fence. Its a whole process of love, I understand how my mother misses it.
    Plus you know March is a big tease,. Beautiful weekend, next weekend lows in the thirties!! She holds me hostage, I want to plant. I get that from you mom. So you Mary B. ( that is my momma)
   just have some pots, take the rock garden and fill in at the camellia bushes, less is more, at 87.
      Dear March, come in and be gentle with my mom. Keep my Boston, New Hampshire kids  safe in the storms, and The Atlanta Barons, help us to weather the see-saw of perfect, without too much complaining.
      And readers of my blog, grab a book of poetry or two, it will fill your soul .
      Until, you can get in the yard!
      Come on in, sister March. Blow ever so softly, be a lamb.