You Laid The Foundation, But I am Still Working On The Building-Mavis Staples

    I just about see the tail feathers of this year of 2016.
    The things that I look back on are chronic pain ( my building needs repairs) ( working on some new parts) and heartache. I do not know when I have had such a year? I know their have been worse, but 2016 will stand out in my mind, for a huge supply of soft chew, cherry Tums and fetal position bouts of angst. ( I promise next year to concentrate on all the good!)
   The politics of the past year, and the idea that a maniac will be head of our country, has me at a loss for words. At least nice words. I hoped with all hope, that he would surround himself with decent, men and women, and that went up into a puff of crazy smoke. So I have had to let some of that angst go. I will continue to work for my party, and shake my head at all the people who voted for this man. I feel nothing but sorry for how the carnival act, took you down with him. My Father, Homer, would say, " A fool is born every minute." or was that P.T. Barnum??
    There is a 40% group of voters, that are happy. So I hope he does what you think is right. I do not wish for bad things to happen, to him ( the words PE get stuck in my throat) or you the voters.
    Believe it or not, we are in this together. ( I think)
    God Bless The Planet
 Now for more bad tidings,so many people have died this year. Too many of my high school friends, that left us and left a hole. Many famous people, in music, movies and literature, who have touched my growing up in monumental ways, my heart has hurt. There have been so many lives lost to guns and crimes, and stupid happenings that consume the airways. It seems to have been a banner year of sadness, all around. Maybe we just are more tuned into social media and hear more? I don't know, but I am a big giant sponge, and absorb all of this mayhem. Most of this stuff is not sponge-worthy! (Seinfeld people) but it has caused a ruckus. I work HARD to be sweet, joyful and attentive, but this combination in 2016 had me, on the night shift of the ER, after payday, on a full moon!!

Yes, there is always more good days, I just need to write them down!!
Wonderful books were read, my parents are good, got to see my brother during a hurricane, all children are semi-sane and loving humans. Bill retires in the coming year, so that is wonderful ( I think)
Animals are constant love muffins, friends are all doing fun things, Movies , Music continue to touch me. Art is my drug of choice, and my spirit animals still pop up all over the place. I live my life, Out loud, that is just the way I was put together. Good, Bad and Ugly is written about, sifted through, and thrown into the universe. 2026 was just testing me, and I made it!!!
  So 2017 come on in and stay awhile, I look forward to each second of this journey. Lord give me strength to handle all and the gift of laughter to just roll with it!!
  -B-

Paint It Black

  Nothing makes me happier than black clothes. Black on black, on black, wears me well.
  Black shiny shoes, black socks, black pants, black sleek, thin, turtleneck and to be in Paris!
  Even in Johns Creek, Georgia, black makes me feel a tad of Paris among the republican misfits.

 Now the day is wet and London looking, and I still feel sassy.
 I have a Bonnie theory, that you can go anywhere in black, dress in down or up. You look like you are "put together" all tight and sharp. All I know is, I like it, and I do not like to think about what to wear, so I wear my uniform.

My theory, came into play this week, when going to my bone doctor.
 I dressed for a night out, to go to the docs because I think, he thinks, I look and feel better and he is nicer to me. ( Yes I require a fair amount of stroking)
  I had an 8am appointment, (I like to be first!) ( for their full attention) ( and the germs have not all gathered at the party)
  All others in the waiting room looked like they rolled out of bed, hair not even combed. I thought, well...they hurt more then me...but then I would see them jump up, and I was walking like a turtle!
  The little nurse boy, with his Patagonia jacket on, because he had a chill, called my name. He had no eye contact, and walked way ahead of me. I called him back, explained to him, I may need his arm!! and personal conversation. He smiled.
 (I think you never feel old, until you are in an office where all are asking for new hips, knees and shoulders) I felt black strong, and the doctor came in, practically asking me to dance. " How are you Bonnie, you look great, you must feel better...Nicky Arnstein, Nicky Arnstein....."said the Dr.
" Well....I feel better, so can I wait for surgery, until maybe summer?? The medicine seems to help, and ..." said the lady in black. " Sure, get some blood work, the medicine can cause ulcers and kidney problems, but you are fine, you will be fine...summer??How about spring, let us check." Dr. spoke so sweetly in his wool jacket with elbow patches!  I stretched and agreed to maybe April, but I reminded him, that I will still be wearing black. He smiled, and did not know what I was talking about!

I was in Paris, minus a beret, and I walked out feeling taller. Knowing that the pain, was part of my life, but it would not define me. I may have old bones, but I am not old, why should I look all washed up!! Mercy, Paint it Black, with a pop of color on your ear bobs!! or a grand necklace. A scarf, or Jackie O sunglasses, go down fighting and looking beautiful!!
  We are beautiful creatures, in any color, or pure black! we have to own it, and let the love shine.
I sit here, with no make up on, ( that is a lie, you know I have lipstick on!) black, head to toe,( my sweater may be dark forest green? I have some color blindness!!) and A necklace made out of alpaca hair, twisted like a dread, with jewels hanging on it!!! Perfect, sitting on an ice pack and a sciatica pillow!!, its all good. Happy Saturday darlings, feel good about your sweet self.
  PAINT IT BLACK

Air Beads

    This time of year, filled with the excitement of children wishes, can also be heartbreaking.
    Of course I blame the cold, melancholy malady. The media also tries my patience, with poor hungry, sick animals blasted all over the tube. Crippled, cold children all over the world, wishing for food and water. I do not need a visual, at any time of the year, to want to help others. Christmas time can be raw for people in so many ways, with joy filtering in with each Noel.
   I gather my prayer beads, I need many!! and they help my wandering mind focus on prayer.
   Over the last two weeks, the same family has had two tragedies. ( How is that possible?)
   These are old neighbors of mine, growing up, in Norwood.
   Damon, 54, never woke up. I used to change his diapers. His mother and I sat on her bed, dressing him, in all kinds of cute outfits. My heart hurt for the loss. ( I asked Jesus how to pray, because you know I have issues, like GOD remember all those years I prayed for my Ward?? How can I trust you??)( there is no lesson in your baby dying, and the almighty will someday fill me in on that plan)
Now how do I pray for the family of Damon, His mother is filled with cancer, how do I pray?
   Then not even three days after the funeral, Derek, his older brother, whom I also babysat for! age 57, has a brain bleed and was flown for emergency brain surgery. He is, right now as I type, alive but do not know to what quality his life will have. ( I do believe in miracles) How do I pray? I want him to be healed, his frontal lobe with all his memories and skills back to our Derek. ( What are you doing? Baby Jesus) This is too much, I pray for strength for my family, to be strong each day, we never know what we are facing. I pray for Derek, to come back to us. I pray for Damon's sweet family to hold onto love. I pray for my Ward, to be near. ( where is he, I want him to be right here, but explore the universe, I will understand) All my kids to be kind to others, healthy and whole. So much to pray for, how can I in my heart pray for this country that was so broken, that they had to elect this Trump person to lead our great land. ( HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, you are testing me!) but I will.
   But...I pray better with beads!!! my ADD needs BEADS to pray.
   SO in a panic, after all this sadness, Hubs and I are in bed, toasty and I say, " I need my beads, Bill, I need my beads." ( you know they are on a table pretty near my side of the bed, but.....it takes me longer to get situated and asleep, he can go right back to sleep) ( at least that is kind of what I was thinking, he is very sweet to me) but this night, he was having none of it. ( I sleep with prayer beads,my burdens are huge!) I nudged him again, he told me, " You can pray with air beads." I sat up a little, "are you kidding me, just touch my fingers and pretend, I need to count the beads, feel them in my hands, and hope I don't poke an eye out with the crucifix in the night!" We both laughed, and neither of us got up.
   The next morning, barely leaving the bed, I said to myself, " I will fix this, I grabbed a handful of rosary, mali and any other kind of beads I had, and put them next to my bed!"
   I woke up this morning, clutching two pair of beautiful blue rosary beads in my hands, I told them, " I hope you did some good praying in the night, because I am out of words, I just have to have faith, and release this madness." " Oh and stop with all the sad media stuff, it is not helping."
   I walked downstairs, with a smile on my face, still laughing at "Air Beads", after all these years, Dr.Bill, makes me laugh and that is a Merry Christmas. ( OK, so some of my prayers have been answered, many. It will not stop me from asking questions Jesus!)
  I think I felt Jesus, Joseph and Mary smile, " We know you Bonnie!"
  I think God has a handle on things, I have to believe. 

Just Because You Find Yourself, Doesn't Mean A Thing

    Early birds hear the best music, that is how I begin my day.
     And I need to share, so who is up as early as The Barons? ( Not that I care if you are up, I just need to spread my joy)
     I know all Blackmans are up, so I text my brother B.
   
     B.Just watched a video, with Keith Richards, it was off the charts. I think it may be called Trouble, maybe it is off the new Stones album, don't know. You have to see it, will blow you away.
( time....maybe before 5, or 5ish)
    B. ( Both our names start with B,  so you will have to figure it out) Is it on you tube?
    B. I don't know, I was watching MTV, but probably, google it.
    Few minutes later
    B. I love Keef!! ( that was from my brother)

He could go to work happy, that his sister was thinking of him, and knew that he loved The Stones as much as, or more then me!!!( I think one year I gave him a framed picture of Keith Richards, to remind him that we still looked pretty good!!) ( I love my brothers)

   Around the same time, I text, my Hart, the same info, knowing that his love of music matches mine, or is over the top more in love with music! I did not think he was awake, but when he woke up, he would see this note from mom.

   He sent me back a Christmas Tree decorated in memory of Prince !!! No words were needed, his way of thanking me, and sharing his find!!!

My early am lesson, is, you have to wake up expecting wonderful things to happen.

You have to get up, and pay attention, look for it! This time of year can be so melancholy, heartsick along with the lights. Heck, looking at Keith Richards can be scary, his face tells a story like none other that I have seen. All those puckered, creases, wrinkled furrows, but all I saw was magic. Straight up blues magic.

You are the navigator. Will your day be full of joy, chances are slim to none, but there are moments that will sustain you, when the shit hits the fan.
AND it will, but you will be ready, because you witnessed a legend this morning.
If you get a moment and you need a little light, take a listen. I think it may be called Trouble by Keith Richards, and if it is not, google it. Magic!!!

What Is That Noise?

   One Morning this week, I woke to a strange sound.
   I asked the hubs, if he heard what I was hearing. The answer was, as always, "No".
   I got up from, the barge, (my spot) to see rain for the first time in forever.
   I told him to look, but he does not have my passion for weather and the entire universe. So he continued to look at his IPAD, as I gazed as if it were the second coming of Jesus! 
   We, in Atlanta ,have been a long time dry. Fires consuming our forest areas up north, dried up lakes, and fear with each leave that fell.
   For two days, I have listened to rain fall. It has a sound, like nothing else. A light rain, a single drop, a thunderstorm, a symphony of much needed water.
    We were parched inside and out. We need water, all of the earth. We also need to not waste it, for goodness sake.
     It is when things are gone, that we miss them so. 

     I have missed the rain.
     It washes away yesterday, and a new day is born. Nearly all the leaves are down, and blanket the yard. Beautiful.
     I just returned from letting , the lab, Lucy out and did not realize that the rain also brought with it a sharp crispness! Oh my, I will try and not complain. I went in search of a jacket, and had to redo some plans. I do not kid you, when I say, I don't function well in cold weather.
   So I decided to sit here and write a few lines, of my little ditties.
       I need to do Christmas Cards, they are ready to go, but........
       Was going to do a little shopping, but.......
       Turned Christmas music on.....I love it
       Two things I want to tell you about.....
                  1. Go on YouTube and listen to The Voice, Miley And Dolly singing Jolene!!and Pentatonix!!  I am convinced that, the song Jolene, is the best song ever! or at least one of them. Pure Joy Juice pulsing in every vein, sing along.
                  2. Read the Christmas edition of Oprah Magazine, on page 45 there is a story by Elizabeth Gilbert, whom I love. The title is called, Give Yourself A Hand. It is about doing for yourself. Being nice to yourself. You are her best friend, this self of yours. A very sweet article. We can only be kind to others, starting with being kind to yourself. A hard lesson for women, maybe men to, I can only speak from a female point of view. I do believe self worth is so important, and is not gender specific. However this article leaned towards the female reader. Men should read Oprah too!! I do know that much.   
   Guess that is about it for this morn. I am going to get a scarf, and head out for a twirl, get a few more gifts, and just look around. The day is beautiful, and I plan to be a part of it.
   Happy Thursday, its December, make your own joy! and spread it around.


             

     

          

Thank You

     I have so many things to be thankful for, an endless list. This Thanksgiving is no different.
   
     Here are just a few odds and ends.
     So thankful for my kindle. ( here are some books loaded;  When In French, Shaken, The Broken Way, Big Little Lies, Bandit.) I have almost finished Shaken, enjoyable and sad in a way, too lengthy for me to explain. Those are some of my November, December books. Reading is one of my favorite things to do.
     Thankful for my English teachers for helping me navigate literature with a passion.
     Thanking all family and friends for the recipes I will use this turkey day. These dishes are a constant love at this time of the year.
      Family near and far, friends all over the globe, I love you this holiday and each day after.
     The weather is right up my warm, sunny alley, Thank You.
     Very blessed to go to the grocery store and have money for what I need, and more.
     My home, as my niece would say, is all you Aunt Bonnie. So happy in this house, we call home.
     Health, could be better, my hip hurts sooooo much, but I have meds and good doctors, so again Thankful.
     The computer annoys me, and comforts me, I like all technology, Thankful. ( I do not like clickers for the TV)
     I love love love, that I wake up every  morning with a new song to sing. I crack myself up, I never know what will come out, but out it comes!! Each day to wake up to a song on your heart, it awesome. So thankful for music in my life.
    My parents are alive, and not near me, but I know they are in good hands, and I have enjoyed 64 years with my parents, and that is joyful.
    I am thankful for my ability to enjoy so much around me, I pay attention and get to see and do.
    Our animals rule , as it should be, I can not imagine not having pets! ( even while listening to one of the cats hurl this morn!) Love them all past, present and future.
    Most of all so thankful I had, my Ward, with us for 25 years. I wish it had been longer, I don't understand why, but that is something God and I will talk about when I see him/her.
    My faith sustains me, and I remain thankful for my belief in the baby in the manger.
    Hope your day is special, with love and yummy food. No political talk allowed! because I may take you OUT!! for being crazy, OK no political blog time either!! Its beyond hard, but I am working on being kinda sweet.?
    Thankful you take a minute to read my blog
     Enjoy your people
     Love someone
     Eat lots
     B 


    

With A Heavy Heart

      My hands are shaking so bad, because of the chill in the air and country. People believe it is OK to use Nazi symbols, and Racist language. PEOPLE if you see someone doing this, stop them. We can look back and learn, but never go back.
     Garrison Keillor said, "Raw Ego and proud illiteracy won out." All politicians have huge Egos, they constantly need stroking. Raw Ego must be the worst! Like its not edited, open for display. Proud illiteracy is a horror to even think about, but think we must. No one chooses, no education, do they? The coal miners in West Virginia are just hard working people, who have very little education. You don't have to be educated to know what hungry feels like, or poor. We, all of us, have to do something about education in this country, in rural America, in inner cities America, we are broken.
    Sunday morning, I saw this man on TV say about why he voted for Trump, " Aint gonna say he's a savior but maybe he will help us out." Sad, uneducated, poor people, and we have ignored them. No wonder they are angry but.......these people cling to their guns and Jesus, and don't grow. Technology came in and the steel mills and coal mines, did not get on board. The needed to educate their people for future jobs, help them widen their net, teach people!!!
    54% of our country did not vote at all, that is beyond belief to me. I don't care if you hate everybody, find a reason to be a part of the solution.
   I dont feel angry about Mr. Trumps victory, I feel nothing. That scares me even more.
  It was a long, hard week of quiet reflection and prayer. My prayers are vague.
  We are so lucky to live in this country, but we all have to work hard at making it better, for all, not just a few. Not just the winners, all of us have a role to play. The stage is set for this new president to do........I don't know...good, I hope. Right now it just looks fragile, and fragile is something I know too well.
   Grief can make you fragile, unrest in society can cause grief, and there lies the circle.
   I carry a heavy heart, but in a really nice suitcase!
   I believe in people, I believe in you.
   It is a new week, filled with hope and promise, and crazy takes a back seat.
   (I promise this is my last blog about the election, but......oh. I cant promise, but I will try, worn out with this mess) ( Delta Lady one of the best songs ever, Leon R you left too soon)

Because We Can

      Thank you my friend, from across the pond, for the above title of this blog. It can be used for so much these November days.
      Voting begins for some today, many have voted early, because we can!!
      Because we can, we get to choose who to vote for!
   
      Because your choice is so personal, hopefully you feel proud. I know I do.
      There seemed to be a clear choice to each of us between Trust and Temperament.
      To not trust can be forgiven, not forgot. Some can never trust again, but the option is there.
      However temperament in a person, is constant. You cannot change that, forgive that, mold or work with that, when the temperament is reckless, cruel and wrong.
   
     Because I can, I turned the telly off for much of the election, it was very toxic to me. It scared me to see people, know people whom were off the charts acting bad. There angry temperament was and is
frightening.
    I think you have to vote, after you have done your research. Be comfortable in your skin, heart and mind. That is all we can do, because we can, vote for our candidate.
   Someone will lose, and that will hurt many people. It is a big part of life, to win or lose. How we act after any lose, is important.
   I think my person will win, but if they don't it will not change my beliefs. I will get up and work harder for the next election. While we are walking this earth, we have to do our best. Because we can, we do.

This crisp November Day ( November rolls so nicely off your tongue, October sounds like something is stuck in your throat!!) ( just sharing a thought) finds me, at peace.
     My mom and Dad, all 85 years are doing good, my kids are wonderful humans, and my g-kids are growing and learning so much, driving their parents nuts, which is the deal!! because they can!!! Number four son bought a beautiful house with his wife, near us, and it is filled with light and joy coming out of the walls, I thank the owners for leaving behind such goodness. (Damn long ass sentence) (sometimes you just have to keep going, grammar be gone!)
   My hubs will retire this August at 70 ( Bill, that is old!) ( still my Bob Newhart)
   Me, I write, I paint, I love, because I can.
   
  

   

I Know Crazy!!

      There are a few days before we elect a new president. The country has gone mad, with the two humans, seeking new employment.
      The choices seem beyond clear to me. You choose crazy, because you are familiar with these kinds of people, or you choose a shady lady, who can run this country with her hands tied behind her back. I use shady only for the fact that it rhymes with lady! The email scandal, is a mute point to me. I think she and Bill may have bodies in the basement??? Eleanor Roosevelt had them also, skeletons rattling every room, she should have been president. Barbara Bush could have whipped this country into shape. Women in the White House, are strong, beautiful people. We need a women to wrangle all these crazies out there.
     But to be fair, I always do my research.
                             Who are these people willing to vote for this man? I have to know. So I decided to read, White Trash. The 400-year Untold History of Class In America, by Nancy Isenberg. ( no, not everyone fits into a category, but there is a huge vein of very bottom of the barrel looking people at Trump's speeches) ( Maybe the word is "simple", I am trying not to offend the multitudes, a woman wearing a t-shirt with an arrow pointing to her private parts, saying "Trump can touch this!" is trash.")
( Seedy, Igno? are these adjectives selective? of the whole)( I can only write from my voice)
                      This book, should be read in all history classes, high school or college, it is so fascinating. With or without an election, to bring this story to my attention.
        I think the word trash makes it crude, no one is trash, its how the class came into being, and the many terms that have been used over the past 400 years. Since England shipped us all there thieves and other loose change people!!! Classes of people, seem to revolve around land ownership, maybe still to this day. Where we live, how much education we have, work ethic, ability to do better than your parents.
        This is not an easy book to read, but it is a journey we all need to take. It is easy to look at a person, and judge, I confess to that 100%, but I did my reading and have a better understanding of my looking at this group of Trump people, in not such a harsh light. It is an insurmountable task to raise up people from poverty and ignorance, but I believe you can.  I have come to learn that cotton fields, made the south rich and poor at the same time, we had no food!!! only cotton!! I read that White Trash was not just a southern term, pockets of poor people were all over. There was a name of prairie dirt farmers, and oil monkeys from up north(thinking all worked in steel mills and factories). Piney woods people, and Sandhillers, were named that because of the land they lived on. Poor white people were cursed because they were consigned to the worst land. Highly inbred, (think !!not many people on the colonies!) alcohol and dirt. In 1755 poor people had to wear badges, women were just for breeding, slavery corrupted all white men, rich and poor. Puritans were obsessed with class rank, the church right at the top!! Who sat in the front of the church nearest the preacher, now they were special. Being without land, owning property separated everyone.
       This book covers 400 years, so I just touched on a few pages.
       The anger and ignorance that never goes away, baffles me.
       All people have worth, White trash, or Thugs is just a name, for waste and I do not believe in waste.
       However, I was interested in its origin and why I come away from listening and looking at Donald Trumps backers freaks me out. ( they probably say the same about my liberal la-la self)
       I , at least, try to understand. I have people I love, that probably have voted for him. I love them for a reason, I just don't understand their choice.
       Take the time to think about us at a whole, and how we can grow together.
       Read this book, and a million others, about our country and how it came to be.
       Be a part of the solution.
       And I will try not to judge so harshly, but come on....The lady with the arrow pointing to her VaJayJay!! This is going to be hard, but I know Crazy, so I will try harder.
                              

A Small Window

        As I sit, in this familiar spot, I hear nothing but tree cutters. Chain saws, next to chain saws cutting down branches that flew off last week, and a few that needed to be clipped. The noise of the chipper is deafening, but the smell of cut wood is divine. A branch here or there, lets in the sunshine a little more, and that, my friends, is glorious.
      Lucy, who is petrified at the noise, sits with me. We are natural observers, of people and their tools!!
Lucy Mae is my black lab, if you need a reminder.
      Our subdivision, has big trucks all over the place, we are getting new streets. I guess its asphalt, all I know is that there is so much noise. Street workers, tree workers, and we watch. ( If I screamed right now, no one would hear me, its so loud!!) (I have asked them to shake the berries out of the trees before they chip it, is that too much?) ( the birds and squirrels need those berries) ( I have a family of chipmunks that live under my front stairs, save the berries!!) ( wait, I may have to go get some twigs, for winter nests!) ( Gosh, let me go for a minute)
     
      OK, back to you, I have scavenged for my outside animals, we are good. ( I wish you could see grown men, with chain saws, shaking the berries off the limbs)

      My October blog today was going to be about my reading, and I may get to it. Tomorrow, maybe, I cant think.
      I will say about the title, I have a Small Window of Time, that I can go to sleep. Last night, because of The Walking Dead, TV series, I missed it. First of all, I have to be careful at what goes in my brain, all the time, but especially at night. Second, if I miss my window opening, trying to stay up, my brain says, "Too Late, you are toast!" and I will be awake for a long spell. Last night I saw horrible things, scary and sad and could not go to sleep. So today I am reminded of my small window, and structure/routine that my body requires. We are such creatures of habit, and the older I get, my habits rule! Plus by 64 you had better know yourself pretty good, and take care of your body/mind/spirit. Lord I cannot watch anymore Zombies......
    So let me pause, and write tomorrows blog, do a little research, and I will get back to you, when the noise dies down, and I have gathered up the sawdust, some little creature may need it!!( I think this is a run on sentence, extraordinaire!!) ( I could go fix it, but...) ( nah)
   Later
   B

Guilt, 70% Off

     I saw this advertisement for a store, its name was GUILT, and they had a 70% off sale.
     A bargain will always cause me to stop, look around, and maybe purchase. BUT a store named Guilt?

     Guilt is not part of my vocabulary. So I can not, even online, browse a store with this name.
   
     Guilt reigns supreme in mothers of the 40's and 50's, running into the 60's and beyond. I have never bought into that horrible feeling, that especially women, put back on themselves.
      Remorse and regret, certainly I meet daily.
      Toxic Guilt where it is an offense, crime, violation against moral or penal law!!! Good lord, that even sounds horrible. Jewish mother quilt, Catholic confession guilt, mommy quilt, its not healthy.
      That was just something that caught my attention, this week.

      I am desperately trying to not have the TV on, any news, or look at anything on social media, about this election. People have to be very careful, what they put into their brain. Do your own research, and feel good about your choices. Honestly, I may have to see a doctor, after this election. It has baffled me, this total break down in human behavior.

       I have voted, and held hands with this black young man, at the booth, because I was so emotional. ( I asked him, to pray with me) I made the sign of the cross, and was so thankful to live in a country where you can vote. ( but ashamed of people in our country) ( not all, but 40% at least)
   
      The weather is beautiful, and touches me so much, and I want all these angry humans, to just go outside and sit with yourself, and do good things. Heavens to Betsy, be kind. In thought, words and action. Be the change that your want to happen, we have to work on ourselves first, and then change the world. ( I think that is probably in a Bob Dylan song) (dang, I may have to pay copy write laws)( no I said his name, so its good) ( Maybe it was Michael Jackson?? no, that was We Are the World?? OMG, I can not think of all the people who I borrow from!! just know that I do thank all!!)

I have no remorse, regret or guilt for rambling!!
   and abrupt changes of thought, hang on.....
        I looked up the origins of all my ancestors names this week, so much fun.
                                  Williams-Scottish
                                                   Irish
                                                   Welsh
                                   Baron- English
                                                Northern French
                                                German-if spelled Barun, years ago
                                    Talbot-English
                                                French
                                    Blackman-English
                                                      Scottish
                                                      Irish
                                    Hartley-English ( Kent and Devonshire)
               
                                   Bonnie-All Scottish ( Bonny)
                                                Middle French ( Bon)

So much fun to look up all your ancestors. We have our tree pretty full, but will continue to work on more, when Bill retires. ( I am making plans for him!!)

              That is about it, on this hump day in October. Hot in Atlanta, climate change is real, do your research, don't be stupid! I will embrace the heat, but you heat haters better make some plans.
              Mom and Dad are good, still many repairs from Matthew , but they are hanging.
              All my kids, are good. ( And if they are not, don't tell me! I am in a good space right now!)
              Enjoy your quilt free day, its 70% off!!!
              Love
              B


       
                                   Hartley-English(Kent and Devonshire)

Redefining Boundaries.......

.......of Literature.

                 How many decades has it been? Five or twenty? We have listened and knelt at the altar of Robert Allen Zimmerman, or as I call him (my personal friend) (you know I believe this) Bob Dylan.
                 If you have been lucky enough to hear him in his youth, that poets voice speaks ever so softly. However if you have heard, the old crooner that he is now, it is much like spitting out gravel. I count myself on the receiving end of both. I heard the rarest of birds, decades apart, who composed for my generation.
                This past week, unless you live under a rock, you know Bobby won the Pulitzer Prize for Literature. I felt like a mother hen, one of my own, had a trophy!! Some were in awe, and others distraught. ( such division in our country these days) ( maybe always) (sad) ( I think I should be using hashtags, instead of my parenthesis) #Iamtoosetinmyways
                Now back to my thought...two sides for every coin, works when you win! My soul is on the side of love, love, love for this man's work of literature, poetry, words of my heart. For days I researched
all of his song lyrics, trying to pick a favorite. Lay, Lady, Lay was high on the top, I promised myself YEARS ago, I would have a big brass bed! and I did most of my married life. I just thought that song was so sexy??Lord I will have to look up the date when it came out! I may have been a baby?? When did I start thinking about sex, Lord, this is therapy stuff!! All Along The Watchtower, Like a Rolling Stone, Knocking On Heavens Door, A Hard Rain's a-Gonna Fall, Rainy Day Woman, Tomorrow is a Long Time, Shelter from The Storm, It Ain't Me Babe, Maggie's Farm,  forever continues.
Go back and read some of his songs, it is a beautiful experience. A folk master, troubled, drug fueled, recluse, Jesus and Moses on his side, a medicine man, serving up joy juice. He wrote his own journey, and took us with him.
               When my boys were little, I don't think Emma was born, we would listen for hours to The Traveling Wilburys. One of my favorite group of artists all together with Bob.
                Years later at an outdoor festival in Atlanta, I took high school and college aged boys, mine, to Music Midtown, to expose them to Bob. Well, I lost them, or they lost me!! and I stood by myself, next to the stage, under the stars, holding my heart. Tears flowing, and me, happy to see Bob Dylan. He was rusty and fit like a glove. He so deserves this award.
                 ( Oh, I did find my children, they had gone back to Wards dorm, and left their mom to be with her hippie music!) ( They were lucky I did not run off and join the band!)
                 Or maybe I did, metaphorically speaking! Blowing in the wind, I think their is an answer in there somewhere.
                love
                B

Make A Plan, But Know When To Improvise

            My brain has been on overdrive, this month of change.
            Mainly due to a hurricane that threatened my family and friends.
            I have lived away from Jacksonville, my hometown, for 36 years. My choice, and thankful for the reason. I married and moved, simply put. I have been lucky to be able to go home often, until recently.
           I can still get home, but it takes much more effort and I can not help that much when I am there.
           I have also been lucky to have brothers, cousins and friends who have stepped up to care for my parents, so sweetly.
           The hurricane, and seeing that my parents were safe, took a village.
           AND then they returned to their house with no power for days. The are 85 years old, and worn out. Not totally, they constantly surprise us.Getting them, to a hotel for two days, and then to worry every second, if they were feed, and had all their ducks in a row. Stressful from afar. As usual, they seem to rally, and do better then I ever anticipate. So my worry is usually, to no avail, but tell that to my head and heart! My brother and his extended family came up here to Atlanta for safety and fun. My baby brother, was in charge of mom and dad, and kept us up to date on all of dads antics!! He is so spoiled!! and we still love him! ( Homer)
          I had Bill going to Home Depot for lanterns, for Benjie(other brother) to take home with him, to mom's house. I was ordering solar phone chargers, all over amazon!! ( I think they may be getting several!) So many people checking on them, and trying to keep themselves from blowing away. It is hard to be away, and I wish they could travel here. So I could spoil them. (Yes mom is spoiled too!)
         To them it is impossible, and I have to respect there wishes. So my brothers and I make a plan, and know when to improvise. For now.
        None of us, know if we have tomorrow, so we have to do today, what we can.
        I have talked to my parents everyday, all of my life. That has been and is, a huge blessing. Even when we are mad, and don't talk, we still hear each other.
       They are good for now, so I can breathe a little.
     
        I was waiting to eat breakfast with the hubs this week, and I have a thirty minute wait. He was returning from the doctors office, and I may have just been a tad early. So I had a few minutes to think, pray, meditate out loud. I told Ward (my son), nothing really matters to me, except that you are not here with us. I said it out loud, and I felt such sadness to realize this. I was just frozen in pain, and it left me. However the thought, remained with me, even til this moment.
A few days later, I had dinner out with hubby and their was no one in the restaurant. I told him, that I love coming to eat , and no one is here. He replied, "You use to be social, loved being around people, all the time." Without skipping a bite, I said, " that was all before we lost Ward, I am dead inside." So powerful is grief. Apparently it likes Mexican food!
    I am not dead inside, but I am changed. When a hurricane comes, and scares me, my broken parts get all jumbled, and I have to regroup. Worry and fear, sit in wait, then profound grief crawls back in.
    October winds devastated so many, floods and horror, I pray for repair all around.
    October political fall-out is the most toxic carnival ride, that I will not get on! (I am with HER)
    October weather in Atlanta is, pretty much, amazing. The sky is so clear, it takes your breath away.
    I have a plan, A,B,C and F**king D( as my brother would say), but this October we have had to improvise! We did good, all of us.
 

Life Starts All Over Again

         

     Life starts all over again
           when it gets crisp in the fall.
                               -F. Scott Fitzgerald

Mr. Fitzgerald was a very romantic, daily drunk person. So this little ditty that I found, means nothing!!
I think he was talking about crisp gin and tonic and maybe Zelda had started her parade on life, all over again.
          Of course I love him, and his darling wife, I just am not going to buy into to this crisp fall, start over madness.
          Does anyone start over? Each day you get up and start over, but there is a huge ton of baggage strapped to your leg. Some may have a carry-on, but honey I have three large pieces, held together with duck tape!! They are full!
         After a certain number of years on this planet, we have stories. I choose to remember great moments, and beautiful days, but this crisp air steers me to some heavy things.( remember, if you read my blogs?? I am trying to embrace the coolness)
        This past Friday, I had to pull out a sweater, with my shorts on!! Not a red carpet look, but I had a chill. Then on Saturday, I brought out my blanket. YES, the blanket came out, with only one hand holding my coffee, and just my eyes and mouth showing, I was down for the count. ( note..I love my blanket and I told her how happy I was entangled in her threads!! She is the best) ( my family gets my old blankets, I get a new one each Christmas, that is always top on my list)(Barefoot Dreams is the company)( I think Oprah had them on her Best list one year, and I have been a devoted Barefoot Dreams person, for many years) ( I also get their robes, the best!)
      Never mind my sells pitch, I was ready for the weather change. Then a tiny panic started slipping in, what about my outside plants?? I need a plan, for when the temperature drops!! ( Below 80!) ( NO freezing, I know) So I hollered to Bill, that I need some help with moving plants. ( He hates anything in the yard) We planted yellow mums, they make you feel better, we moved around some ferns, and two trees. I pulled some weeds, and gathered the deck plants into an area, so one sheet or quilt would cover them!! I am ready, not ready.
     October decorations are out and about, and it brings up, all the memories of my babies. It is not easy, all mommies have so many memories.
    Fall is crisp, and things do change, but start over again?
    I think that it is just a new day, with a chill in the air. We make new memories and carry the old ones around with ease. Those adorn us, instead of being dragged behind us.
    Maybe that is what F. Scott was trying to say, " Its another day, Yes! Where is Zelda?"

Choose Your Words, and Your Song Lyrics

A couple of million things running through my mind this morning, and you the lucky recipient, get to read.
I have decided that my shower, ( You know I don't share) has the best acoustics known to man. My song choices today, were spot on, perfect pitch.  Moon River, was the best, but Brick House, Where the Boys Are, Jolene, Blue Velvet, and Oh Come All Ye Faithful hung a close second. It was a banter morning for singing and remembering song lyrics. Black Bird and Surfer Girl just didn't measure up, so I have some rehearsing to do. ( I pulled the piano music to these songs, as soon as, I went downstairs)
What you choose to sing, and easily pull from your catalog is so important, to start your day. Its not a planned experience, it just flows with the water. That is why, what goes in, will come out! Pay Attention!

I also, on this day in September, decided to speak more gently about Autumn and Winter.
Choose my words, change the conversation and my feeling towards the dread of cold weather. (baby Steps)
Positive adjectives and adverbs should be coming to you soon. There is no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing, as my hubs reminds me of during the polar vortex.
I recently read that you should cultivate coziness, I like that. Candles, hearty soups, holidays, fires, storing up stories to make me laugh.

For some October brings comfort, kids back in school, leaves turning, football and more football. There are plus signs about, just like all of life, its a job to look for the good.

(right now I can see the squirrels hunting for nuts, out the window, as I type) ( may explain my many errors?) ( think I will throw them some pecans, to sweeten their pot)

Talked to my mom this morning, and she said, her Guidepost today, said something like, What are you going to do for God today? We agreed that instead of always asking for help and blessings for us, and our families, we would do something for God.

So today, I choose my words more carefully, set a more positive vibe going out on my blog ( this may not last long) ( that is why we pray all the time) ( Baby Jesus, this is hard)
I practice my singing, so when I sing in the shower, I will begin my day on a positive note! ( the cats enjoy my voice) ( and I enjoy the singing, and maybe it will make me sweet for a few hours!)

There is a cold front coming in tonight, the weather man, is in a panic. Tomorrows high will ONLY reach 88!!! I can do this!! Bring this fall weather on, ready or not, I am armed and ready, with nothing but love.
(Now if the temperature goes into the low 70's, watch out, my Negative Nancy is just waiting in the wings!!) ( see it is already trying to creep into this blog)
Namaste, Holy Water, and Bent Knees, I will keep working hard. (Damn, Sh*t, F-word) ( I feel a breeze!!)

Is It Here Yet?

     We are so hooked up with social media, that whatever they say, we believe.
     Someone wrote that on this very day, it is the first day of Fall.
     Not at my house.
     It is ninety degrees outside, the yardman is here and my heart is happy! Someone is off center, on this one.
    Leaves are green, blooms still hanging, and I think I felt a flea!! ( I think that could be that I watched Grey Gardens AGAIN and am now reading the book, AGAIN!) ( I am itching all over!!) ( those crazy Edie 1 and Edie 2) or ( Big E and Little E) ( I would have loved talking, visiting with them) ( but the fleas, I cant do!!)
    I think all bugs and snakes die in the winter, so I don't think we are there yet.
    Fall is a beautiful few months in the south. In Atlanta we can drive to the mountains, to see the changes in a few weeks.
    I love the smells of fall, especially the in season apples, and pumpkin smeared on anything that moves!!
  
    It is the melancholy, that tip toes in, that I have to beat back with my broom!!

   Today is delightful, but my throat feels funny. I am hyper sensitive to change, and for sure they say it is here!
   Who are these people, that know everything?
    They can be wrong, I think my senses are a better indicator of autumnal happenings.
    Autumn, any period of maturity or of beginning decline, now that is Webster speaking. Just the two words of maturity and decline, are not words of glee.
    Each year, my feelings remain, pretty constant about this subject.
    The dead horse shall not be beat today.
    You tell me it is here, OK.
    I welcome you Autumn, be brief and kind.
    I will sing your praises for today.
    Now let me go talk to the yard man, and thank him for taking care of my family. Mr. Hernandez will tell me, " NO fall today!Mrs. Baron!" and that is why I love him!!
   
     

20 Percent

     

     Update from Bone Doctor:
                           Mrs. Baron, can I call you Bonnie, (yes, you have put screws in my leg) your right hip is 80 percent gone. Bone on Bone, will not get any better. I may have lunged at him,( he is a close talker)
" Are you kidding that is great news, I have 20 percent left!!" The doc had a odd look on his face, while I was dancing a jig. The Bone man, said.." You need to use a cane, take new meds ( just stronger Advil like stuff) ( because I told him, I don't do pain pills) (Addictive personality, drugs and me, not a good combo) (plus I have an extremely high pain threshold) and we will talk surgery in the next year probably??"
        Me, "I have a collection of canes, from my daddy, I can find one, no problem." He is pulling his chair closer to me......asking me again to look at the x-ray..... Me, " Look at that left hip, it is perfect and my spine is arthritis free, yes I see the right hip. I have carried babies on that hip, a purse that weighs 30lbs, broken that leg once, right foot twice!! AND it still has 20% left on it!! Miracle!!" ( not to mention carrying around torpedoes on my chest since the age of 12!!) continued..." Who is to say, that it may remain like this, for the remainder of my earthly life? I have hit the lottery Doctor!"
     If it is possible, he moves his little rolly chair closer to me, " You are right, Bonnie, I will see you in three months, OK?"
     Me, " I look forward to it, as I hobbled out of the room."
     I drove home, and called all the family that needed to know, that I had beat the surgery bullet for a few months. They gasped at the 80% part bad, so I had to do my song and dance, positive attitude out in the universe speech.
    It is my privilege to be 64, half crazy and 20% left on one leg.
    We go to lunch soon, to celebrate my only girls 28 birthday, it is all just a blink.
     To be honest I think I was more tired when they were all babies, then I am now.
     These children wore my hip OUT!!! I can not believe I have one that is still good!!
     My glass is always full, I just refrain from telling you what is in it!!
     Lets just leave it at JOY Juice, and not the bottle kind.
     Fill it up, I have 20% left, I am going out singing.

     Happy Birthday Emma, from your mother of mostly Dragons!!!
     ( I was so excited to have a girl, little did I know!!) ( just kidding) ( not really, girls are mental!!)
     ( Love you to the moon and back) Love to your birth mother in India, for sharing you with us. Her love is the most powerful.
       Namaste Darling                X-ray is not mine, some stranger on the internet that has the same thing
                                                   as I do. I think my bones are cuter, just saying!

One Biscuit Away From Crazy

  

   Let me be clear, its not crazy,crazy! It just means, the day is starting off, with a side of wacky.

       Note: ( I love to sit down to write a blog, with no blog in my head. This could be fun)
    
       Early this morn, mom texted me, that daddy had a good night. In my world of worry about my parents, that is so awesome. So we exchanged that we were both going to get our bathes ( we like to share details) and to have a great day. ( with a gentle reminder to mom, not to over sedate anyone today)

      I lumber upstairs, ( bad hip) ( Doctor tomorrow) to take my shower, thinking all the while, of going to the hip doctor tomorrow. I felt the need to shave my legs, in case of him, looking that closely at my point of pain.  So I began to lather up and shave away, when I felt something wrong. Behind my left ankle, I felt extremely long hairs. I kept scrapping, thinking, I shave my legs all the time, wonder how this one spot got so long, and rough!!! I finally leaned over enough to see and doubled in laughter. I had placed two big band-aids on this area yesterday, for a small patch of dry skin. Smothered in neosporin and giant stretchy bandages, they were not coming off, even with a razor!!! I hobbled out of the shower, ripped the things off with half of my skin, and returned to my five minute shower, without blinking my eyes! I thought how lucky I was, to not have dug so hard with the razor to get those stray hairs off! We could have had a blood bath in there! And how happy I was on this morning to make myself laugh so hard. Seriously, the best things in life are not made up! Life is one big hot mess, poured into a cup of hotter mess, you have to laugh.
   I thought about my little dainty mom, getting in and out of the tub, ever so gently. Her routine, so different then mine. Her creams, and polishes, the rough towels that they like. Her movements, ever so slow, but she gets it done. She knows being clean and looking cute, make you feel better, period! I cannot wait to tell her this story of my bandages that I was trying to shave off!! She will say, " Oh, Bonnie, you didn't?" " You have to be careful, you are getting older." ( is that passive aggressive?) ( God Bless her!)
  So I am semi ready for my doctor visit tomorrow. I will be clean, polished and smooth, with hope that he tells me that there is something they can do for me besides a new hip. Yikes! I love my doctor, so I will listen with a smile and many questions? Mom would say, "Don't ask too many questions Bonnie, listen to your doctor." and " make sure you look nice."
   I will mom, I planned my outfit for xrays and conversation. ( now I am thinking should I groom other areas, you know the hip joint is part of the pubic area) Mom would say, " Don't talk about your private parts Bonnie Kay." OK MOM, I am just thinking out loud, no one can hear me. (smile)
    I will take one Biscuit and hold the crazy, for maybe, an hour or so... I gotta call mom!

I Am The Laundress ( sung to I Am The Walrus!)

    

    Our dear Mother Goose wrote;
                                        They That Wash On Monday
                               They that wash on Monday have all the week to dry;
                               They that wash on Tuesday are not so much awry;
                               They that wash on Wednesday are not so much to blame;
                               They that wash on Thursday wash for shame;
                               They that wash on Friday wash in need;
                               And they that wash on Saturday, Oh! they are sluts indeed.

       I wonder why a semicolon was used after each verse? AND I wonder why the laundress is a slut on Saturday!! I love every ounce of this poem, I would have left off the semicolon, it became silly to keep typing it. Grammar can annoy the writer in me. The word Grammar just means something written, recorded. Years later it had so many rules.
      Back to my laundry.
      I have a washing machine and dryer, yes I consider myself lucky.
      I just do not wish to be remembered as being a laundress.
      Laundry is constant, and it sucks up my creative juices.
  Jamie R. Hess wrote this little jewel, along with the guidance of our Dr. Seuss
                               One load, two load
                               Dark load, white load
                               This one has a little wear, this one needs some extra care
                               My all this laundry seems unfair!
                               Lots of towels, beddding too
                               Dirty shirts, more than a few
                               Heaps in a pile, it'll take awhile
                               My, all this laundry cramps my style!

                           
It seems she wrote this silly poem when she too, was overwhelmed with the mountain of laundry.
No matter where you live, laundry never ends. No matter if you are one person or a family of five, short, tall, poor, rich, there is laundry.

I have always done two to four loads a day for my entire married life.
I like to stay on top of the mountain. I prefer little hills, small loads, don't put me under the speeding train.
I like clean clothes, and I liked my family to look clean, even for a minute. I like getting out stains, and smelling clean clothes. I do not need to hang them on the line to achieve this, I don't miss that process.
I AM The Laundress!! and probably the egg-man too!!

I sit here on an ice pack to numb my hip that needs replacing, listening to the hum of the dryer with a smile on my face. You have to smile, and find the tiny sliver of silver shinning somewhere.

I had six to seven inches of my hair cut all Tuesday, to give to locks of love. I wish there were not so many people who needed wigs from cancer drugs. But know this, Bon-Bon hair will be cute and come with a crown, so wear it proudly. Love comes with each strand.

I am the laundress, with short hair, a bum hip and love flowing to you 
                                  

Smells Like Booze and Sorrow

        I think I would be better off not looking at a calendar. I can smell booze and sorrow, creeping in on the wings of a hurricane.
        People of Florida take our weather very seriously, we have parties. Big giant booze parties, ending in a boo-hoo fest. " Oh I am so glad the hurrrrIcaneeee did not get us.", " I love you too." " Is the eye here yet?" " Is Ross Hill coming from Blountstown?" " Do not use grandmothers china for candle holders!"
       See there is a story with every storm.
       Sterno and flashlights, and a bathtub filled with ice and booze.
  We would go down with the storm, a happy lot. The stories of being young and foolish.
      Now I watch the weather like a hawk over her young. " Five inches of rain, Jesus, do we have enough water?" " Charge up everything, maybe I need to download about six new books?" " Let me call mama, and make sure they are OK?" " Check with Boston Barons, is it going up there?"( Hurricane It!)
(" How many times do you have to look outside the window, while you are typing Bonnie!)
    Hermine( the hurricane) is skirting a few states, with mostly rain, but in Florida we hunker down. In Atlanta if there is a slight breeze in the air, school is canceled. God forbid we put a child on a school bus with the wind blowing! I do hope all people are safe and no flooding comes your way. I also want trees to stay put, roots to the ground, for a few more 100 years. September day one, and a storm is brewing. Damn calendar!!
        I forgot in August to run down a few of my reads, so let me quickly jot you a few.
                       1. Iris and Lily, loving it. A few pages left to go, it has been a delight.
                       2. Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead 
                       3. I've Got Sand In All The Wrong Places by Lisa Scottoline
                       4.White Trash-The 400-year Untold History of Class in America by Nancy Isenberg
                       5. A Traveler's Guide To Belonging
( if you do not see the authors name, it is because I cannot read it on my Kindle, so it is their fault for using such a tiny font!)
( 2-5) are to be read in September, everything I read is good, so these are my recommendations, even unread!!)
            Now just a note about Iris and Lily.
                     My highlighted jewels.
                            She felt pity for that girl, still hiding inside the withering body of an aging woman who could finally buy her own fancy panties, but had no one around... 

                           She swallowed her objection with her sassy voice that smacked of burnt sugar

                          It seemed curious to Iris that she never remembered anything good about winter. Summer thoughts were another story altogether.

                         convenience was so expensive

                         macerated in regret, swallowed down one bite at a time

    This book is .......slow and you can taste it......bitter and sweet, life continues to be stormy and peaceful, with the turn of a page. 
      Much like this September, I am sure of it.                           

OM.....Oh My God, OM.....Oh My God

      I do not have a quiet brain.
       You may not even care, which is certainly fair, I just have to explain to the universe sometimes, my very being.
       I go to sleep thinking about 100 different subjects and wake up with the same 100, with a few added, due to dreams!!

       So my mantra is as wound as I am, OM......(try to clear my mind, think of nothing) Oh My God.....
       I seek calmness and a quiet soul, and it is not a part of my DNA!!
       My prayer life, is much the same way. I scream, no cause for alarm, my wishes, desires, thanks, forgive me, prayers 24/7. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, and I then may switch over to a song, I Serve a Risen Savior, or This Little Light of Mine, or Brick House by the Commodores !!!
        My third eye is blinking all the time, and my heart is about to burst with so much love.
      
    I study all religions, poets and teachers of the world. I feel like if I am at my best, I will give my best to others. I did not know it would be a life long journey.
      On going to the grocery store , early am, I prayed, Om......Jesus....just let me go in, and come out in one piece. I just wanted a loaf of french bread. I bought some flowers, in the beginning to set my mood. The bread was easy, and I found a few others jewels. I headed for the cash register people, no one to be found!!! I asked if anyone was around, and could I go down any isle?? No one, I pulled the flowers to my face!!! Om....Namaste...Baby Jesus...can someone help me.... this little guy comes from beyond the doors, all cute and in panic mode!! Just oozing sweet nothings my way, knowing that I may have needed some Valium or a hug!! I got my little things and left, and thanked my god, for a good little outing. ( I believe in thanking god for everything) ( or at least the stars and their alignment) ( or the forest? whatever works)
  Life is a circus with carney people running the show, flying monkeys and clowns. But the smell of candy apples and cotton candy, saves the day.
      I think I will add that to my daily prayer/mantra.
      OMMMMM.....Candy Apples, Cotton Candy, Baby Jesus, Moses and love....... This joy stuff is a full time job....My cleaning people are here, praise Jesus, the dog wants to go paint with me....Life is good..

Summertime Is Always The Best Of What Might Be -Charles Bowden

E.B. White wrote, that even the crickets felt it was their duty to warn everyone that summertime can not
last forever.
   Before I say goodbye to August, I never leave this month without the stories of my August babies.
   Hartley turned 32 yesterday and Ward would have turned 35 on Thursday this week.
My favorite people are born in August, and those happen to be two of them.

Let me start with Ward, by August 26 of that year, I looked sick. My skin was yellow, my feet and ankles were mammoth, and I needed this child to come out. My labor was for 24-28 hrs, I think it was 26, but over the years it changes. It was the end of time, long!! Back in the no medication days, I was dying. We believed in pain, the natural birth cult, along with nursing babies til 1st grade! ( a very slight Lochte-like story) After my darling husband( we were newly weds) had three, maybe four full meals brought to him, in my room, by the nice nurses, I asked him to go home, he was making me sick!! I asked to die, or have him reach up my hoo-ha and yank this child out of me. He continued to eat, somehow, me screaming made him hungry. He went home, and had to be called back to the hospital, for my section. Our baby was born, and I was numb, and happy.
I did not know anything about babies, or my body, after having a child. We were in for a long, loving, bumpy road.

Three years later, I was knee deep pregnant in August. Hart was born on the 21st.
Ward and I were sick, my mom had come up to take care of us, and I went into labor.
Bill came home from work, to drive me to Trenton, N.J. hospital, where they were more concerned with my breathing, or lack of breathing, then my labor pains. I had pneumonia and with a c-section baby, they were nervous. I made sure I had a female doctor for this child, because male doctors can not make the right decisions about labor pain. They have no form of reference. My new doctor, she knew!! She had even had c-section babies, so I was in labor with Hart for about 1 hour! ( not counting all day little labor)
He was a big baby, and went home wearing 3 month baby clothes! He was solid, or maybe I had just grown in three years, and could handle a baby better. Maybe both, he was good and I was seasoned.

I brought him home, and Ward wanted to nurse with him!! I told him, he would not like my milk anymore, but he was going to have his way. He tried it, and turned up his nose, but he felt included, and that seemed to make us all happy.

My August boys, took my heart and still have it.

We had many August months through the years, until Ward died. We never forget his birth, and will celebrate it always. He was the best of what might be.

Hart continues to shine and now he shares that light with his bride. He is one of my best, I have five best in all!! Keith, Brian, Ward, Hart and Emma, you are my Summertime, my Best.