Air Beads

    This time of year, filled with the excitement of children wishes, can also be heartbreaking.
    Of course I blame the cold, melancholy malady. The media also tries my patience, with poor hungry, sick animals blasted all over the tube. Crippled, cold children all over the world, wishing for food and water. I do not need a visual, at any time of the year, to want to help others. Christmas time can be raw for people in so many ways, with joy filtering in with each Noel.
   I gather my prayer beads, I need many!! and they help my wandering mind focus on prayer.
   Over the last two weeks, the same family has had two tragedies. ( How is that possible?)
   These are old neighbors of mine, growing up, in Norwood.
   Damon, 54, never woke up. I used to change his diapers. His mother and I sat on her bed, dressing him, in all kinds of cute outfits. My heart hurt for the loss. ( I asked Jesus how to pray, because you know I have issues, like GOD remember all those years I prayed for my Ward?? How can I trust you??)( there is no lesson in your baby dying, and the almighty will someday fill me in on that plan)
Now how do I pray for the family of Damon, His mother is filled with cancer, how do I pray?
   Then not even three days after the funeral, Derek, his older brother, whom I also babysat for! age 57, has a brain bleed and was flown for emergency brain surgery. He is, right now as I type, alive but do not know to what quality his life will have. ( I do believe in miracles) How do I pray? I want him to be healed, his frontal lobe with all his memories and skills back to our Derek. ( What are you doing? Baby Jesus) This is too much, I pray for strength for my family, to be strong each day, we never know what we are facing. I pray for Derek, to come back to us. I pray for Damon's sweet family to hold onto love. I pray for my Ward, to be near. ( where is he, I want him to be right here, but explore the universe, I will understand) All my kids to be kind to others, healthy and whole. So much to pray for, how can I in my heart pray for this country that was so broken, that they had to elect this Trump person to lead our great land. ( HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, you are testing me!) but I will.
   But...I pray better with beads!!! my ADD needs BEADS to pray.
   SO in a panic, after all this sadness, Hubs and I are in bed, toasty and I say, " I need my beads, Bill, I need my beads." ( you know they are on a table pretty near my side of the bed, but.....it takes me longer to get situated and asleep, he can go right back to sleep) ( at least that is kind of what I was thinking, he is very sweet to me) but this night, he was having none of it. ( I sleep with prayer beads,my burdens are huge!) I nudged him again, he told me, " You can pray with air beads." I sat up a little, "are you kidding me, just touch my fingers and pretend, I need to count the beads, feel them in my hands, and hope I don't poke an eye out with the crucifix in the night!" We both laughed, and neither of us got up.
   The next morning, barely leaving the bed, I said to myself, " I will fix this, I grabbed a handful of rosary, mali and any other kind of beads I had, and put them next to my bed!"
   I woke up this morning, clutching two pair of beautiful blue rosary beads in my hands, I told them, " I hope you did some good praying in the night, because I am out of words, I just have to have faith, and release this madness." " Oh and stop with all the sad media stuff, it is not helping."
   I walked downstairs, with a smile on my face, still laughing at "Air Beads", after all these years, Dr.Bill, makes me laugh and that is a Merry Christmas. ( OK, so some of my prayers have been answered, many. It will not stop me from asking questions Jesus!)
  I think I felt Jesus, Joseph and Mary smile, " We know you Bonnie!"
  I think God has a handle on things, I have to believe.