Hot July

Most celebrated the 4th of July with a flurry of fireworks. I looked at my yard.
You see, it has been four years since my boy died, and there have been no fireworks since. Many things ceased to be, after such a shocking loss, and my yard was one of them. I could not find the will to turn over dirt and plant something living. Grief had me weak in the knees, and heart. This year is different, things are blooming and thriving. If there were words to explain this, I would write it, there just are none. I can only say that I see beauty all around me, and I'm not mad at it. You see grief not only makes you sad, but it carries anger in that bag, then hangs it on your neck. I could not understand why the world could grow and be beautiful, when I hurt so bad. Of course the hurt has not gone, it has just be replaced with something. That something doesn't have a word either, and yet I still try and explain it!!!! Life is about growing, learning each day that mistakes will be made, but still look for the lesson. My yard gave me a signal, this hot July day, pay attention and celebrate like the 4th of July!!!!