Run Forest, Run!!

Today is the last day of June, 2010 and I'm running with scissors and an ice pick!!!into July.
I understand how Forest Gump tried to outrun his broken heart. You eventually have to come to a stop. July is my stop.
July 13, 2010, makes three years that , my Ward, has been gone.
I run though life, all the other months, working, functioning in some fashion. July is a different beast.
I relive each day, leading up to the 13th, thinking that I must have missed something. Did I love him enough. The answer is yes, I loved him everyday, and I don't think I missed any red flags, that would have helped me, help Ward. My mind replays every moment, the thirteen days of July, until he left us.
This July, I will try and concentrate on his precious life, instead of the events leading up to his death, or the specifics of the day he died.
The above posted picture, is one of my favorites. He was cute, silly and happy, and that's what I will remember this last day of June.
July will come, and it's OK.