Church Whore

Whore {hawer, hohr, hoo r} noun or verb
1. Woman who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse, prostitute; harlot; strumpet. Strumpet….

2. Obsolete. To make a whore of; corrupt; debauch. Debauch….


Hooker, hussy, hustler, jezebel, courtesan, call girl, lady of the evening, woman of the streets, slut, madam, tart, tramp.

Delicious words, but is it the right word?

Born into the Methodist church and head sprinkling, “Old Rugged Cross”, page 62 in the Cokesbury hymnal, or is it page 33?
At seventeen I went next door and became an Episcopalian, the cathedral called my name, and Father Cerveny melted my heart, but that is a different story. Thank you Jesus!

The two nearest churches to me are the Methodist coliseum church and the Catholic Church. Distance does matter on Sunday morning; I like to pray in my zip code, The Methodist church has a bookstore and a gift shop, a plus, but no kneelers or stained glass.
So this Sunday I went to the nearest Catholic church, a beautiful building until I saw pale, skinny Jesus hanging on the cross.. No son of God would be that skinny and pale, this Jesus would not have had any followers, and it was horrible. How could I concentrate after that? And I was sitting on Satan’s pews, I squirmed and sighed and tried to listen to the sermon, it was about The Golden Gate Bridge and how it is a lot like Jesus, not the hanging Jesus for sure, but some other golden Jesus. I think I may be getting to crazy for this; I did not get the analogy. All I thought about was, Rose Kennedy praying all the time, and her life being so sad, and I was thinking, I hoped she had a different hanging Jesus to pray to. Therefore, I closed my eyes and prayed for strength of some kind to come into my life and help me be a little stronger through this grief after losing my precious son, Ward. Next, thought, Rose Kennedy again and wondering if all those rosary beads helped her? I thought, Maybe, I guess maybe is what faith is all about?

I left church and Satan’s humidity hit me like a brick, what the hell?

Next week the Episcopal Church, once a church whore, always they say.