PBS

Please BE Safe, wear a mask. Stay home, wash your paws!!

PBS in this blog, stands for Public Broadcasting System.

I hope you always look there first, Netflix second, throw in National Geographic and Disney Prime!!

This Saturday morning PBS it was and crazy learning going on. ( Note I have been depressed going on three days, and its unusual for me because I have Big Meds!!) ( I felt different on Thursday, and its been over 20 years since I have felt the beast.)
I guess we are all depressed during these stranger things kind of days. Virus counts are off the charts high, especially in my beloved south.( You know I will blame it on Humidity!) ( or plain stupid!!)
We have been inside, tooooooo long, Mom has good and bad days, and the hubs is, well, trying to help. I have been painting and reading and cooking, like the mad hatter, and am way down the rabbit hole!!
Back to PBS.
I will find joy, I have the tools, I need to be happy and work hard. I know how to PIVOT!! Turn around and keep going, fix this chemical imbalance, and everyday life. I have always shared with you, the reader, none of this happy is easy!! We, all of us, have to redefine our limitations. Life's daily struggles are harder to rally for than life's big mother cooter stuff!!!!
There is no such thing as, we have it all together. That is where PBS comes in.
Today there were two stories, and I just saw pieces of each, (making up bed, and taking a bath may have led me astray). One was about a man who refinishes furniture, and he was lovely. Beautiful work, with many warehouses of projects to do. Hand carving, reupholstering, staining, and knowledge of so much. A gift of a job, he had. A master artist, builder and handsome. Beautiful hands, and hair, I notice everything So glad I got to meet him half way through. Then went to the other PBS channel, and this lady, Ashley Longshore, was being interviewed during dinner. Who is this ray of sunshine, the bath could wait. She is a very different kind of artist, Warhol, Betsy Johnson, Peter Max ish!! She wakes up happy every day!! She is intoxicating, and said her greatest super power is Enthusiasm!!! I needed to see her this morning, and she came to me!! She has a big story, read about her. She also said her ability to Pivot in life, is a game changer!! She also, after eating some beautiful soup, said, it made her cry, it was so fantastic!! YES, enjoy each moment, make it enjoyable, work super hard, look around you, support your local broadcasting stations!!
 The virus is now a part of out everyday, we know what to do, Pivot!! change the negative results.
Do more for others, love each other, intoxicate the world.
Gotta go fix mama some lunch, love you al.
(

I Like A Little Dinge

Title is a pearl from Ben Napier (Make Something Good Today, book)

This current situation of, hanging out with the family, has me looking closely at everything. Normally I look toooooo close, I turn over the rock, dig a hole, keep digging, buy a plant, watch it grow, learn all I can about the rock, soil and plant, then worry about the weather.
I PAY ATTENTION, to words and actions, movement and reason for the movement!!
What I am trying to tell you, this hunkered down virus time, is difficult!!
So I keep moving, reading, working in the yard, visiting with mom and hubby, few kids here and there. Write letters, paint, and stew standing up!!

My family is lucky that I can entertain myself and I like a little dinge!!
I left hand prints from all my grandchildren on my windows, for months, just enjoying their little fingers. I like a clean house, just not orderly.
In the above mentioned book, the Napiers write-We are all houses, altered by time and circumstances. Our lives shaped by the good and the bad, and we take it all in and make it a part of us.
I think we are our homes, patched together with this mess of a life. We are tender as, raw biscuit dough, ( from book) and haunted by what-ifs and, worst case scenarios.
During this year of 2020, all the days, are large and limited. It will take work to navigate these waters. I wish you strength and abundant joy to be your best version of yourself.
   Today is Fathers Day, and facebook sent me a memory from 2007 or maybe it was 2010, I have shot short term memory!! That explains so much.
I had called my father on this Fathers Day morning, and my brothers had done the same. We had apparently called back to back. Note-my father never talked on the phone!!! I asked daddy how he was? Simple question, right?? He spoke, " I have been on the phone all morning with you kids, checking on me.!!" his day was not going so good. He continued, "I am fine, now bye!" and " If you send me any shirts, I am giving them to Tommy(my brother)." I held the receiver a tad away from my howling laughter, and said, " OK Homer, and we love you too!"
My daddy was very different, if he hugged you, some animal of ours had been run over in the driveway.
 He quizzed us on old movies, old music, history and cowboys. I have a doctorate degree is strange things to remember. He was Yoda with a drawl. He taught us all to know the ins and outs of a car, and convinced us, that we could never learn. He tried to teach me golf for about five minutes, and told me in no uncertain terms, do not ever try this again. I played tennis instead!!! He never unpacked a suitcase in his life, while traveling, because I promise he was not staying!!
I can also say for sure, no one could love us anymore then he did. We knew it, we understood his ways.
I miss him, but I have stories on top of stories.
My old boyfriends still tell Homer stories, not everyone one wants to watch a boil being lanced before a date!!!
He made me pull off the road laughing so hard, I could not see. Also made me so angry, I jumped out of a moving car, because he was trying, in his way, to teach me to drive.
We were lucky to have him so long.
I will not call you today daddy, but I will write about you.
Thank you for being you
Number one daughter
Bonnie

Bring Me All Your Dreams

  Bring Me All Your Dreams
         You Dreamer,
     Bring Me All Your
          Heart Melodies
    That I May Wrap Them
    In A Blue Cloud-Cloth
Away From The Too-Rough Fingers
           Of The World.

Langston Hughes

   Mom has been living with us since March. Daddy has been in all my dreams, a guest appearance, is guaranteed. My father passed away recently, or it feels recently, if you want extra info about him. He was never in any of my dreams, not one. Now he is visiting on a nightly basis. I told mom, he is just checking on her, through me. However, he is not asking about mom, he seems to be helping me, find lost items, and giving me directions. ( he gave all of us directions, all the time!!) ( road rage, hung close to dad, in a car. Even explaining how to do anything!!was his wheelhouse) ( God Bless him!!)
( I do know how to get to Main Street Dad, 67 years later, still!)
Being a big dreamer, I write down a bunch, because I remember my dreams, and sometimes, I just can not figure them out.
The other morning, I woke up and began to write. I was celebrating Brenda Brickel and my birthdays, (a friend from high school, love her) in a big world of our birthdays. ( Brendas birthday is not the same as mine, if you are thinking that) I never saw Brenda at the party, I was looking for her. I did get to see so many people, that I have probably loved at some time. Dream lover, that I am.
Ron Howard was so nice, a good hugger, Nancy Sinatra still was walking them boots!!,all the Harry Potter kids, allowed me to be in the book or the movie, so exciting. I could just walk onto any play, that I have dreamt about being in, boom, Rent, The King and I, all original cast.
I was wearing a cute red hat, and had lost my glasses, and purse, which is in every dream. There were also so many doors to open!! I was lost, as a ball in tall grass. That's when I saw daddy, and he showed me a few doors to open, they were all good choices, and told me to look at Waze on my phone to find the way to the beginning of my birthday. ( note, he never owned a cell phone, nor would have told me to use Waze!!)
 I found the start of the party and it was over, as if there never was one. I felt OK, missed the cake, and never found Brenda, but I knew how to go to the parking lot.
Always nice to see old friends, Melinda Youngblood Brewer was there, in a huge, lavender flower hat, like and old lady at church. We laughed so hard, and neither of us knew why.
I woke up a little later then my 4 or 5 am call time, I think it was around 6 and I panicked!! Half the day was gone.
I wrote as much as I could remember down, to later think of it.
I did not find the words to describe how happy I was, it was just a sweet feeling.
The world today, is so harsh with virus, protests, and a 30/30 TV program on Lance Armstrong that has sickened me!!!
I looked to Langston, to find some answers, and I did.
A blue cloud cloth, wrap me up, I bring you a very special dream.
Daddy go visit mom, I know which way to go.

I Stand Aghast

Not totally true, and you can not fact check me.
I am in a sitting position, front room window, with nada to say.
My mother wished me a Happy June, this morning, so I know the month.
I have three lists going, and nothing is checked off. Again.....I did look for a mink stole and can not find it, can any one in my family direct me to where it is. I found the mink and fox jacket, but not the stole. I found the dentist number, I have a tendency to GRIT my teeth to a powder, when stressed!! Why was I looking for my animal skin/fur things?? I don't know, just cleaning out closets and my cluttered mind. No reason.
Someone idiots ( use that term with ease) have been on my blog, like a hacker, only writing down, like those games you play on FB. I may need number one son, to go investigate. What my smile tells me, ( that is the repeated blog hack) I don't need to know, because I am not smiling!!

The C virus is here to stay, people are acting like it is a normal summer, and let me tell you, its not.
There are so many rules at out neighborhood pool, I think I will have to take the packet with me. Normally I would just be required to bring my towel, and know the code to get in.( which means I would call one of the kids to tell me the code) I go to free swim, no lifeguards ( no George Garcia, Nicky Brown, all the darling lifeguards of my youth!!) to save me, I hang out for a spell, swim, read, pink up, and done. Are all these rules for me??

AND now, this horrible protest, war zone, of people who are unheard.

I believe in protest, I have walked in every march for a cause. I grew up in the 60's, I know how to burn my bra, fight aids, love all people whom go by an initial LGB....etc. I followed the Black Panthers, marched in Civil rights groups, I believe in equality, for all people. ALL, that is ALL people!!!!
 I do not believe in violence, looting, pot stirrers, uneducated, lazy, BAD people.
BUT.....where do you channel the anger? The fear?
You don't destroy where you live, and that Gucci purse?? Steal food for the family, then we can talk.

Poverty, lack of education, racism, and a political system that needs an overhaul, I hear you, we can not breathe. I have been to my own mountain top, not yours. I will walk with you, all of you, to make myself heard. I will not support stupid actions, of violence, that does nothing but make a cause look worthless.

We, WE are all in this together, in my heart, my actions, and my service to others. Am I a liberal pussy, maybe in some eyes. I prefer to call myself a liberal tiger mom, who has been to Laurel Canyon, I heard the music!!!  Peace is in my soul, how do I get that for others to follow. Writing, voting, living a good human life!!!
Loving people, even the ones hard to love, I love you, and put down that brick.

Now I have to call the dentist, I have no teeth left!!

I stand Aghast