I am I, Plus My Surroundings-Jose' Ortega Y Gasset (1883-1955)

  I do most everything with a notepad near, and pray for a pen to be close.
  Finishing up the Oscar movies, we were watching The Wife, yesterday.
  I heard the above line in my title, spoken and its reference to Don Quixote. I had a delayed response, will I remember this jewel?? Five or so minutes went by and I wrote down what I thought was said.
  Hours after the decent movie, with Miss Close, stellar performance, I began some research.
     I could not in, all of China, find the quote having anything to do with Quixote. However Jose' Ortega Y Gasset had written it in about 1914, using the word consequence in place of surroundings.
   Now I think he may have written a book on Meditation and Quixote, not positive.
   I like for the movies to be accurate, if you quote someone. Maybe it is from the stories of Quixote, No one even knows for sure who wrote that. All I know for sure is I liked what it said, and I borrowed it. ( I think in the world of words, you have to give credit if you borrow!! but to whom?)
    Right turn.
  My father died last week, from living a good, long life, and maybe a worn out heart. It has only been a week, and I have sea legs. Grief is so much like the ocean, waves and waves, and then still.
  I have never been without my father, all my 66 years of life. He was present, even if far away.
  Homer, my daddy, was raised by many aunts and uncles, the first grandson in a large family.They called him Sonny. Estelle Hartley his birthmom, was not in the picture, clearly. She watched him grow, from a distance. Pa, his father, had custody of daddy from early on.
   There are so many stories, of daddy jumping from rooftop to rooftop, for play.No rules or boundaries, then Pa had expectations that were extreme. A tightrope to walk, for sure. He was so handsome, like a movie star. His money he earned delivering groceries, went to staying at the movies all of Saturday, watching Cowboys. He also would tell stories of the Circus coming to town, and Joe Joe, The Dog Face Boy. Aunt Ruby, Aunt Lucille, Inus, Ustus, Essie, Herman, Beulah, Gerald, Big Mama, Big Papa, and hoards of cousins. They showered him with so much love, their Sonny Boy.
   He fell in love with Mary, my mom, in high school. I wear the friendship ring he gave her, to go steady.They were goo-goo, ga-ga in love, forever. I was conceived in Tennessee, to the tune of Patti Page singing, Tennessee Waltz. How many children, know when they were conceived and what music was playing, I would venture to say, not many. We are a sharing family!! Good, bad, ugly and beautiful, was always on the table. Daddy went to the Korean war, and never spoke of it again.
 Mom did say, over the last three or so years, he would talk about Korea more. It was a profound sadness that he carried to the grave about whatever happened in that war. I think many young men who go to war, have secrets that hurt.
  He was a parachute person. One year, we were older, he brought home an old parachute for us to use as a tent, it was beyond awesome. Daddy was a carpenter, a mechanic and an artist. I have his draftsman's table in my art studio, downstairs. I don't use it, I just like to touch it. He had a gift, that did not often come out. He was so busy working and raising a family, that being an artist was way down that totem pole.
   He taught me, how to shadow, and look at how the light hits things. He was a much better drawer than I. He told me, hands are the hardest Bonnie, remember that. So I don't do hands, He also told me eyes, take your time. They have to see, you have to paint them like they see you!! Needless to say, he was right, eyes are hard. He never let us paint, or draw, just instructed me, because I asked.
  He read many books, encouraged reading. When I think about his life, it was rich, of his own making. He played golf, watched sports, knew so much about so many different things. If he did not know the answer, he would find the answer.
   He collected Gene Autry stuff, until the house was a museum. Also Disney, he loved creative, smart people. Blue Grass music to classics. Lord, he loved music.
 Religion and politics, were not a topic for daddy. He always said, 'This country is a baby Bonnie, understand that, it may not work out." and  don't even get him started on organized religion, The Pope, or The Royals!!
     I do not like to type, He was. Even if that is the truth.
    I like to think, I am I, plus my surroundings, is daddy.
    Homer was Homer, happy in his place in history.
    We are happy we were in his surroundings.
    What a pain and a promise of laughter he still remains.
    Love continues.