Clean Inside and Out by Homer

  Rain has descended on the east coast, for months!! It comes with a price. A leak in the basement, and not helping my mood, at all.
   I have decided to write a little.
   You may know that my dad, Homer, died recently.
   However I may have failed to tell you everything!!
   Mom had decided on a closed coffin, her choice. We understood, dad had a lengthy illness and he did not look like someone we knew.
   I need to see a body, I need to thank that earthly body for carrying my interesting daddy for so long. The human body is a beautiful thing. I also needed to put some laxatives and tooth pick cleaners in his pocket. So we arranged for the coffin to be open a few minutes before the service, for me and my family only. ( of course that includes Derek!) We walk into the front of the little chapel, and I may have screamed, OMG daddy......you look great!! There may have been a delay before I said, You look great, because the funeral person( whom I graduated high school with! Jacksonville!!)turned ash white!! He on one side of me, Derek on the other, and Bill behind me, with my kids. Who is that is the coffin?? My father looks twenty, Jesus.....Get my brother and mother in here!! The funeral director said, " Are you sure?" By now, I have inspected every area of daddy's body that is visible!! I replied to whomever was in hearing distance, "Are you kidding me, this is a miracle!" Get my mom and brother.
     They wandered in, thinking maybe, I had lost my marbles!! knowing full well, I have so few left!! They turned the corner and I said, "Momma come see daddy, he is your young husband again!" Benjie, brother man, jaw dropped, and Mom was so happy, to see her cute young boyfriend of 70 years ago. Honestly, we did not even ask them to really 'get him ready' to see, because the coffin was to be closed. His body, without the pain, was young. He had very little gray hair, so it was combed back, so shiny black showing, James Dean or Elvis was in that coffin! His hands were soft, and cute, not a wrinkle on him. He was not embalmed, due to cremation,so we were working a time frame, because he had to stay cold. I held on to everyone, that strolled down the center aisle to visit us, telling daddy who was there to see him, out loud!! " Daddy, look here, Jane Anders is here, you loved your visits with Jane!" " Daddy look Melinda is here, we both thank you for letting her use your car, for us to cruise Main Street!" Daddy here is........showing off my daddy.
   Daddy had a very weird affection for laxatives and inter cleanliness. We think it is because Big Mama, his grandmother gave everyone enemas for even sassy talking back!! Or a fever!! You had an enema!! Dad wanted his insides to sparkle!! and he went through a ritual of flossing his teeth, all of his life. I was in charge only once, with brushing his teeth in the hospital, of course I did it wrong!!
  He had little tiny, teeth, ground down from gritting his teeth, forever! I told him there was not anything to hardly brush, and he would say, I was wrong, because ice cream, even gets caught in between his teeth!! And if you asked to borrow a floss pick!! You were allowed one!! He was a character!! I would put my hand in the bag to get ONE, and he would say, " Now you have touched them all!!" ( which may have been my point!) ( he made me laugh !)
   I put a ziplock full of his picks and high powered laxatives in his pocket!!
  Benjie, Mom and I stood at his coffin, as they were closing the lid, loving on him, thanking him, and mom told him she was so proud to be his wife. He was clean inside and out, looking like a movie star, done on this earth.
    Still hard to be without him, I saw him in a dream last night, he looked good, I asked  how he was, He smirked, half smile, and shrugged his shoulders. So I told him," well that is pretty good, right!"
  He was gone
  Homer, a legend.

I am I, Plus My Surroundings-Jose' Ortega Y Gasset (1883-1955)

  I do most everything with a notepad near, and pray for a pen to be close.
  Finishing up the Oscar movies, we were watching The Wife, yesterday.
  I heard the above line in my title, spoken and its reference to Don Quixote. I had a delayed response, will I remember this jewel?? Five or so minutes went by and I wrote down what I thought was said.
  Hours after the decent movie, with Miss Close, stellar performance, I began some research.
     I could not in, all of China, find the quote having anything to do with Quixote. However Jose' Ortega Y Gasset had written it in about 1914, using the word consequence in place of surroundings.
   Now I think he may have written a book on Meditation and Quixote, not positive.
   I like for the movies to be accurate, if you quote someone. Maybe it is from the stories of Quixote, No one even knows for sure who wrote that. All I know for sure is I liked what it said, and I borrowed it. ( I think in the world of words, you have to give credit if you borrow!! but to whom?)
    Right turn.
  My father died last week, from living a good, long life, and maybe a worn out heart. It has only been a week, and I have sea legs. Grief is so much like the ocean, waves and waves, and then still.
  I have never been without my father, all my 66 years of life. He was present, even if far away.
  Homer, my daddy, was raised by many aunts and uncles, the first grandson in a large family.They called him Sonny. Estelle Hartley his birthmom, was not in the picture, clearly. She watched him grow, from a distance. Pa, his father, had custody of daddy from early on.
   There are so many stories, of daddy jumping from rooftop to rooftop, for play.No rules or boundaries, then Pa had expectations that were extreme. A tightrope to walk, for sure. He was so handsome, like a movie star. His money he earned delivering groceries, went to staying at the movies all of Saturday, watching Cowboys. He also would tell stories of the Circus coming to town, and Joe Joe, The Dog Face Boy. Aunt Ruby, Aunt Lucille, Inus, Ustus, Essie, Herman, Beulah, Gerald, Big Mama, Big Papa, and hoards of cousins. They showered him with so much love, their Sonny Boy.
   He fell in love with Mary, my mom, in high school. I wear the friendship ring he gave her, to go steady.They were goo-goo, ga-ga in love, forever. I was conceived in Tennessee, to the tune of Patti Page singing, Tennessee Waltz. How many children, know when they were conceived and what music was playing, I would venture to say, not many. We are a sharing family!! Good, bad, ugly and beautiful, was always on the table. Daddy went to the Korean war, and never spoke of it again.
 Mom did say, over the last three or so years, he would talk about Korea more. It was a profound sadness that he carried to the grave about whatever happened in that war. I think many young men who go to war, have secrets that hurt.
  He was a parachute person. One year, we were older, he brought home an old parachute for us to use as a tent, it was beyond awesome. Daddy was a carpenter, a mechanic and an artist. I have his draftsman's table in my art studio, downstairs. I don't use it, I just like to touch it. He had a gift, that did not often come out. He was so busy working and raising a family, that being an artist was way down that totem pole.
   He taught me, how to shadow, and look at how the light hits things. He was a much better drawer than I. He told me, hands are the hardest Bonnie, remember that. So I don't do hands, He also told me eyes, take your time. They have to see, you have to paint them like they see you!! Needless to say, he was right, eyes are hard. He never let us paint, or draw, just instructed me, because I asked.
  He read many books, encouraged reading. When I think about his life, it was rich, of his own making. He played golf, watched sports, knew so much about so many different things. If he did not know the answer, he would find the answer.
   He collected Gene Autry stuff, until the house was a museum. Also Disney, he loved creative, smart people. Blue Grass music to classics. Lord, he loved music.
 Religion and politics, were not a topic for daddy. He always said, 'This country is a baby Bonnie, understand that, it may not work out." and  don't even get him started on organized religion, The Pope, or The Royals!!
     I do not like to type, He was. Even if that is the truth.
    I like to think, I am I, plus my surroundings, is daddy.
    Homer was Homer, happy in his place in history.
    We are happy we were in his surroundings.
    What a pain and a promise of laughter he still remains.
    Love continues.