BOO, October

    So much heartache in this beautiful month of October.
    I lost my baby brother, had two friends from high school, lose their brothers. One friend lost her beloved husband, and my cousin lost her son. My hubs lost a cousin, and grief knocked at so many doors.
   I know if you are lucky to love and live a long life, grief will visit more often, but this month has been wicked.
   There has been more joy then sadness, there always is, if you look. However, in between the layers of joy, death hovers too close. I have no sympathy cards left in my drawer, and they never say what I want to say, which is nothing!! There are no words, to comfort people.I don't know how they feel, I just know that my heart hurts for them. My family is so sad about our Tommy, being gone. It has just been a few weeks, but in grief-time, that is nothing!!
   I remember after my sister died, my mom said, it took her four years, to see some life and light. I told mom, after my son Ward died, I could not last four years with the pain that was holding me hostage. Mom was right, I remember at four years, thinking, I could breathe without thinking if I was breathing. Now its been over eleven years, and I walk the journey daily.
  To my cousin Becky, God give you strength, You are in shock, and I think that allows your body, to rest some.  The loss of a child, is the end of normal. The new normal will be good, but its very hard work. To all my friends that lost brothers, I hope you loved yours, as much as I did. We have so many good memories, funny stories, and him being a pain in the ass stories, that keeps us laughing. Harriet, your love for Derek, is so beautiful and your devotion to seeing him on his journey, taught us all about love. May your days always be filled with so much love, past and present. Bill, I did not know your cousin, but I knew his parents. Uncle Ward and Aunt Virginia were fantastic people, so I have to assume Chris had a little of both of them. Over the years, I knew of his adventures through Christmas letters, from Aunt Virginia, I think he lived a beautiful life. I wish I had met him, one day.
   Our trip home from Barcelona was awful, I had food poisoning on the 10 hour flight home. My jet lag recovery on top of that horror, kept me isolated for a few days extra. When I recovered enough to see my kids, my DIL Nicole, asked me what did I like most about out trip??
  I quickly said, " Coming Home!!"
  Traveling teaches you to be tolerant of others in a profound way, takes you out of your comfort zone. Exposes you to history, art, cultures, food, different landscapes. It educates the soul. I am blessed to have seen so much of our planet, but, home is where I want to be. My family, friends, pets, plants, house, I like my diggings!! as my Grandmother would say. My stuff, my space, my spot of joy, is home.
     I hope all of you have a place to hang, that comforts you. Especially all of the people who suffer from loss. Smells, sounds, love surrounding you always.
   October, BOO!!
   November, be kind, we are waiting for you, and yes we are THANKFUL!