BOO, October

    So much heartache in this beautiful month of October.
    I lost my baby brother, had two friends from high school, lose their brothers. One friend lost her beloved husband, and my cousin lost her son. My hubs lost a cousin, and grief knocked at so many doors.
   I know if you are lucky to love and live a long life, grief will visit more often, but this month has been wicked.
   There has been more joy then sadness, there always is, if you look. However, in between the layers of joy, death hovers too close. I have no sympathy cards left in my drawer, and they never say what I want to say, which is nothing!! There are no words, to comfort people.I don't know how they feel, I just know that my heart hurts for them. My family is so sad about our Tommy, being gone. It has just been a few weeks, but in grief-time, that is nothing!!
   I remember after my sister died, my mom said, it took her four years, to see some life and light. I told mom, after my son Ward died, I could not last four years with the pain that was holding me hostage. Mom was right, I remember at four years, thinking, I could breathe without thinking if I was breathing. Now its been over eleven years, and I walk the journey daily.
  To my cousin Becky, God give you strength, You are in shock, and I think that allows your body, to rest some.  The loss of a child, is the end of normal. The new normal will be good, but its very hard work. To all my friends that lost brothers, I hope you loved yours, as much as I did. We have so many good memories, funny stories, and him being a pain in the ass stories, that keeps us laughing. Harriet, your love for Derek, is so beautiful and your devotion to seeing him on his journey, taught us all about love. May your days always be filled with so much love, past and present. Bill, I did not know your cousin, but I knew his parents. Uncle Ward and Aunt Virginia were fantastic people, so I have to assume Chris had a little of both of them. Over the years, I knew of his adventures through Christmas letters, from Aunt Virginia, I think he lived a beautiful life. I wish I had met him, one day.
   Our trip home from Barcelona was awful, I had food poisoning on the 10 hour flight home. My jet lag recovery on top of that horror, kept me isolated for a few days extra. When I recovered enough to see my kids, my DIL Nicole, asked me what did I like most about out trip??
  I quickly said, " Coming Home!!"
  Traveling teaches you to be tolerant of others in a profound way, takes you out of your comfort zone. Exposes you to history, art, cultures, food, different landscapes. It educates the soul. I am blessed to have seen so much of our planet, but, home is where I want to be. My family, friends, pets, plants, house, I like my diggings!! as my Grandmother would say. My stuff, my space, my spot of joy, is home.
     I hope all of you have a place to hang, that comforts you. Especially all of the people who suffer from loss. Smells, sounds, love surrounding you always.
   October, BOO!!
   November, be kind, we are waiting for you, and yes we are THANKFUL!

My Plate Is Full

  This trip to Barcelona came on the heels of me losing my brother, and worry about my parents.
   So to say it has been wonderful, is not fully true, but it has been a great experience.
 I am convinced the food, is so clean and fresh. Tapas are the norm, so you get to try many things.
 Yesterday we found a bagel-ish place, bar, darling owner, for lunch. He was an engineer, from Slovenia, that decided to change his sails!!
  I had a turkey, cream cheese, dates , avocados and arugula bagel-ish. Each flavor so strong, and one, I probably would not have combined. Bitter arugula and sweet dates, just think on that for a second!! Magic. The chips, had a drizzle of maybe mustard and horseradish on them, very interesting combinations. So I think what I am trying to say, not only is the food fresh it is put together so neatly. I have had eggplant with goat cheese and honey, that would make your eyes roll back in your head!! So many kinds of omelettes, I think the eggs are different over here, one with yellow squash and onions that surprised me. Prawns, fish, crab, pasta, pizza, bread, salads that wake up your taste buds!! Olives by the handfuls, with little olive dishes that I lust after!! Coffee is pumping through my veins, hourly, and maybe Proseco to wash it all down.
   Then you walk hundreds of miles, at least it feels that way, and you eat again!!
My plate has been full of new flavors.
My plate is overflowing with artist and their stories, and Gaudi rules this kingdom.
Picasso I loved, Miro loved more, Mares made me smile, Gaudi not so much.
  I have tried to explain it to my Bill, the husband, that he creeps me out, a little. I know as an architectural artist he put together buildings with a flair, just not my flair. We go to the Parc Guell, on Saturday and maybe I will warm up to him, but he seems large and something!!! I like Frank Lloyd Wright houses, Gaudi is a tad tacky for the party. Even the Sagrada with all its glory, and beauty, left me cold. He is buried there and I paid my respects, but I don't get him, and that is why art is so fun. There is some art for all of us. I am convinced, if I was not before, that all artist seem to be good in many mediums. Fabric, clay, oils, watercolors, whatever is laying in your studio or house. Picasso used fish bones, that he had just picked clean, to do a beautiful clay bowl. Gaudi says the nature guided his genius and madness, Miro used fire and painted on the floor, whatever works. My plate is full.
 People, transportation and weather, perfect.
 Hurricane hitting my beloved Florida panhandle, hurts my core being.
 My plate is full of sorrow, hope for a quick recovery.
One of the six books, I have had the privilege of reading , Becoming Mrs. Lewis by Callahan, reminded me, how full my plate was. C.S. Lewis, his life and stories, and now this one written in first person, from his wife's point of view, just beautiful. I have read all of his books, but I think I shall reread them all. He is wise and I want to listen to him again. When my Ward died, I read his A Grief Observed, with my brother dying, I want some of his guidance again. So now I start my 7th book, on this three week feast to Barcelona.
  We leave on Tuesday, and I will try and squeeze in another blog, no promises.
  I will be thrilled to see my kids and animals, I think I am a born homebody, who has enjoyed some really neat trips seeing the world. France has my heart, but thank you Barcelona.

A Good Yarn

My beloved hubs, takes the only laptop to school, and I cannot figure out how to do the blog on my Ipad. It has a tendency to stay in Spanish. Lucky for me, after six years of Spanish, I can say Hello and Goodbye!!!
   We are staying in the area of L'Eixample in Barcelona, and when you are in a new area, ( or downtown Atlanta) you explore.
  I like to find the pharmacy first, child of the sixties, we may have been medicated.
  There is a Big Green Cross on every corner, and I was in need of powder. ( I do not like to sweat)
  The lovely lady doctor, I think medical doctors are the pharmacist, they treat you!! could not understand me, so I went into my silent acting chops! Shaking salt move, on my arm, and rubbing it in!. She said, "Come."
  Talc powder is the same as in our language, the only difference is theirs smells a tad like weed!!
  She rang me up, no helpers in store, and I may have said Namaste, I meant to say Gracias!!!
     Next Grocery store and market locations, along with bakery and florist shop. Very daily, routine of shopping. You have to be carrying a loaf of hard bread, that will break your teeth, at all times.
    I asked my local baker, if they had any soft bread!! She walked away. I figured with enough olive oil and rubbed tomato, the bread will soften!! Fruit and Vegetables are beautiful, and fish and meat counters, not so cute!! I can not look at things with eyes and teeth, and who am I kidding, I am not cooking!! I make a salad at night, and we celebrate the food from the earth!! Our lunch in Barcelona is the meal of the day.
  Bus, schedules, train schedules, taxi cab friends ( yes I like to keep good taxi peoples cards) I'm older, I don't have time for meeting new taxi cab drivers!! I surround myself with good people.
  Beauty parlors, nail salons, I do have a little down time! found!!
  Churches, museums, restaurants and the Mediterranean, found and found.
    A surprise, which is awesome, a yarn store. I DO NOT NOT KNIT!! It was just so beautiful, and they looked like a party was going on. I bought two big balls of yarn and a needle, I always try to crochet. I just like touching yarn, and material, tactile thing!! Iam going to sit on a bench, in a park, and pretend to knit!! and drink tons of coffee, its a beautiful thing.
  Another very delightful surprise was our apartment windows, floor to ceiling across the front, facing a courtyard. Also facing, many other eight story apartment building windows. It is Rear Window, at its finest. I love people hanging their clothes out on the line, connected to their balcony or window. I enjoy seeing the lights come on and off in the morning and night, it is like Christmas. I try not to Really look, but I have seen, people having supper. Yesterday a lady, sang opera on her balcony for hours, it was fantastic. I have posted pictures of this, hope you get a chance to see them. The art of my courtyard, just a huge plus.
  Bill, hubs, goes into work early, and I have a couple of hours of quiet, to "Just Be"
  Before the rest of the world comes to their senses.
  I hope you find your magic courtyard, wherever you are and squeeze our some, "Just Be" time.
  And if you tell a good yarn, or buy some yarn, I promise you something wonderful happens.
  Getting ready to go to some very giant Gaudi church, La Sagrada Familia .
  Bob NEWHART, my darling, just asked me, if my hair was ready for church??? Please..Jesus knows what I look like, and Gaudi doesn't care!!Guess I better go look.
  Until later
    BBB