Feeling Rather Than Doing??

    So often I see people doing, and doing and doing. Turning in circles, and feeling nothing.
    Going through the motions, to where?
    The whole point of being here is to DO and FEEL!! or Feeling before doing? OR just being still and feel. Quiet and listen, stop doing, especially the stupid stuff. My stupid stuff and yours may be very different, which is cool, just don't waste your earthly visit. It is Earth Day, do something for your planet, before its gone.
   Husband of mine, and I were returning from Hilton Head this week, and all along Route 16 there were bags of trash to be picked up. I am talking hundreds of bags, that jailbirds had picked up, and pushed to the curb. I became crazy, " Bill (driving) are you looking at these bags!!?" " Jesus, what is wrong with people, how can anyone throw trash out the window, and lots of it.?" Well, you may know by now, Bill is not hysterical in nature, like his wife. "He said, at least the prison people have something to do." " Oh for the love of God, ( this may be me talking) they are walking in sunshine, for doing something wrong, let them stew and feel what they have done wrong.( I don't mean torture, just not TV, or Ipad!!)." " How about people not throwing trash all over the place! Look at these bags, they do not stop!" "OH MY GOD, look in front of us, the truck that has picked up all the bags, did not tie them down, and trash is flying all over the highway!" I may have had my voiced raised. " Get the car tag, I am going to call it in to somebody!" Mild mannered Clark said, " Who would you call, and I am getting around this truck?" and I just heaved a big sigh. I did not know who to call, or what to do, I was waving at the driver of the truck, trying to sign language trash flying out of the back of his vehicle, both of us going about 75 mph. I feel things, and want to do, you cant always, but I will write a letter, you know I will. AND I will blog, and try to reach even one person, don't litter. I do not understand stupid. Recycle, reuse, refuse to act like a fool. Respect your garbage pick up people, and be the answer to the problem, not the cause.
    That is a little Sunday rant of feelings.
    When I was little, my family would always say, I was too sensitive. Wore my heart on my sleeve, which I still think is a good thing. ( I may have held my breath and passed out! but that was another special Bonnie characteristic!!) ( short-lived with Homer around!!)
   Feel the air, the trees, your family, birds, the list is endless. You can do also, but not without feeling first. This is not rocket science, love the earth, the universe, yourself, all living things and ROCKS!!
   I think Rocks may be living also? they are just still!! Be still like a rock, and just BE!
        Two more little short tidbits, Thank You to Aunt Linda Baron, for the great hospitality and laughter. You and Uncle Mike are very special. Most of all thanks for the recipe for Romanoff Sauce, I made a double batch and licked my fingers and the spoon. It makes fruit the dessert that it should be.
    Thank you John Avlon, Editor of Daily Beast. You are my favorite news person of the moment, and trust me, they are all dropping like flies!! If I find a picture of you, I will place it on my laundry detergent bottle, just like I did of Ted Koppel, years ago. I put some of my favorite people in places, that I can see them everyday. The laundry room, is a place of honor. Thank you.
   Also, Thank you Purlotta, for wanting to design a bracelet that says, WWBD on it ( what would Bonnie DO) because you liked the birthday gifts I sent you. It was my pleasure and I like being a spirit animal to some.
        New course, on Coursera, The American South: It's Stories, Music, and Art. it is awesome, quick lessons, short course, and delicious. Professor out of Chapel Hill. ( like EdX better, but like to spread the love around)
        Also new book going, Varnia by The Cold Mountain Author.
      Keeping the brain and body, moving, growing and learning, feeling each second.
     Barbara Bush left us this week, and took her pearls. She left a good feeling, which is pretty much, the best thing you can leave behind.

Allow Myself

 I sit here at the screen, with a draft in the air, waiting for The Masters Golf to come on.
    April in Atlanta is fickle as can be, warm, hot, cold, drafty. On TV it will show all of its beauty in spring. Golfers may be wearing sweaters, but oh how they swing!
I text mom this Sunday morning, to tell daddy, Thank You for teaching me to love golf. It is much like meditation to me, with the added bonus of cute guys and nice clothes!! Daddy only tried to teach me to play once, Homer has no patience, you do know that, by now!! However he took me to many golf tournaments, and we watched golf many a Sunday afternoon. Our Kenmore Street, backed up to the golf course. I would go lay on the green, on some summer days, just for the quiet and pure pleasure of pretty green, fresh cut grass. OF COURSE mom said to never go on the course, we could get hit by a ball and die!! Heck, I was going to go out happy!! ball to the head, but so peaceful on the course.
  You also realize....if you follow me....this has nothing to do with my blog!!!
       Now...
 Last weekend, Dr B. ( number one hubs) and I had to attend a memorial service.
 Which is getting much too often for me.
  I did not know this lady who had died, nor really her husband, he had worked with Bill for several years. It does not make a difference, you support each other, when they have to attend such things. ( I may have gone, kicking and screaming a little, but it was in an old church in Decatur, Georgia, I was in!) ( Atlanta in spring, old church, Decatur, summers of my youth, Aunt Frances)
   This church smelled old, but I felt a comfort in the hard, hard pew. ( I told Bill that the pew was for penance!) ( He was raised Catholic, I have to teach him about Baptist, Methodist and all in between) This was a Baptist church, that had told in the bulletin, there may be singing and dancing!!( talk to me Jesus!) ( I was hoping for a Pentecostal laying on of hands, for my hubby) ( maybe next time) ( baptist freak him out a little) ( duh)
  We sat, nodded our heads, to strangers, and this girl and lady, go to the front to sing. WELL.. I had to grab my heart, Hallelujah by Cohen, was sung like a young Joni Mitchell. I have never heard it sung so well, in my life, ever!! I was saying AMEN out loud, and think scared the man in front of me. ( Don't people get moved!) then there was a great poem, John O'Donohue's, To Bless The Space Between Us, "On the Death of the Beloved" This is beautiful, then children spoke about their mother, so raw and darling, the good and not so good relationships that they all had, with her. So pure and sweet. Then this little preacher, ( baptist, go long) began to talk. I thought, gosh, I wish I had known this Barbara Ann Tolbert, she lived life to the max. Doing good things, she was real. I had to take notes, I found a pencil and money envelope!! ( Bill is giving me a look)
   This lady who gardened ( her yard and her family, that is a wonderful thought! to garden your family also!) was struck with horrible pancreatic cancer. She suffered greatly, yet made a podcast to help people who are going through some of the same things she was experiencing. She is a warrior. The minister finally ( god bless him) said she had to learn to allow herself to be cared for!!
    That was her last life lesson, and she shared that thought with him. So powerful.
 What do we allow ourselves to do,, see, learn, explore, share, love in this earthly life.
 Hate is everywhere, even in church, I was hating that pew!!
 I did not allow it to stay long in my mind, love was swirling around that church, I honestly felt like if I looked close enough, I may see it, visible love.
  Then it was over, you know big covered dish in the basement fellowship hall, but I was spent.
 We walked out into the sunlight, and I told Bill, We are so close to Aunt Frances house, lets find it. He thought out loud, we don't even know if its still there. I didn't care, I just needed to see the street. It was there, I took pictures of all the azaleas, Mrs Kessler's house was gone, but Aunt Frances house was whole. Cracks all in the driveway, no roses anywhere. No laughter bellowing out of each room.
But I felt the same thing, I had felt in church that afternoon. Pure love and memories, I allowed myself to feel each little thing, it was a beautiful day.
I hope you have many, like my new friend Barbara, what we leave behind matters. What we do each day, is important. Allow yourself.
       Take the time, to allow this precious day to unfold, good or bad, live it fully.
    AND if you are lucky, which I think we all are, with a little work! watch The Master's and breathe.

I love Rory!!!