A Bib In Your Panties

      You know there is a baby around your house these days, when the laundry changes.
      A baby bib had found its way attached to my drawers!! ( undies, for none southern people) ( Knickers for my Brits) It just made me laugh, its the most simple things, look for them.

     Now for my two blogs, maybe three all stirred in the pot.
     I may just write one today, but if you know my brain, I will wander.

    I wrote one on Saint Paddy's Day, and dreamt of Ireland. I put on the Three Tenors Irish CD, and sang to my bonny best, to that baby with the lost bib!! Download it if you don't have a copy, its still March, get your Irish on. I love Irish music, it requires me to close my eyes for some reason and tap my way around the world. Not Lord of the Dance tap, but an Irish jig will seep into my feet with such ease. I think my name, Bonnie, lends me to these people. ( My hub would say, I lean towards all people!) I do lean!! I am drawn to the color green. I think it is the only crayon in the box, that smells like its color. I cant smell blue, purple, orange but I can smell green. I close my eyes and smell Ireland. ( I smell France also, but that for sure is a blog on its own!!) So on this holiday, that gets rid of all snakes, another plus, I tap, and sing. Try it. ( I refrain from drinking like an Irishman, but I have had my day!!)

   Well, this holiday, that I embrace, near to my heart, because I was sure Scottish and Irish were in my blood, my people. Until my DNA came back!!
   I asked for a DNA kit, for Christmas. National Geographic have an ongoing study, that is so much fun. I spit in a tube and thought about what a not fun job that is!! I appreciate all the jobs in the world, I salute the receiver of spit.
  Many weeks later, I had my results, maternal side.
          My percentages are highest in German/Russian and French 36% ( Eastern Europe)
          Southwestern Europe 27%, comes my Spanish/Portuguese side 27%
          Northwestern Europe 25%, my Brits, Scots, and Irish ( My people)
         And back to Northeastern Europe 6% back to my Russian, Finnish and Scandinavian
         Asia Minor 5% I think I skipped though this area, I was well traveled.
         They found some of my Neanderthal bones in a cemetery in Israel, which explains my 16% Jewish DNA. It is all so exciting.
         I began this journey in Africa, at the very North West corner, near the water and the desert, I was happy with the heat  millions of years ago, and the sea began my jaunt.
        It seems, that last DNA to leave Europe, about 500 years ago, was from Sweden, Denmark area, which is interesting. How I made it to the swamps of Florida, well that is for more research and updated data files. Family history, all our maps are different, and yet connected.
       We are all immigrants, there are no borders in space, we are planet earth.
       Hope you get a chance to explore with your feet, and your DNA.
       Now I had a third blog, but I will save for another day, its about the movie Beauty and The Beast. Go see it and then we can talk.
       Happy Monday, Spring has arrived, I think?
 
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You May Say I'm A Dreamer, But I'm Not The Only One- JL

   Imagine living for today.
   He was such a writer, maybe a magical mystery man. John Lennon, thank you for leaving us your words and melodies. AND my blog title.
         I had to look through three notebooks to find this one dream I wanted to share with you.
         To wake with the feeling, that you may have met someone holy, is pretty cool and a tad crazy.
          Early last week, I woke drenched in sweat, and the menopause days, are long gone. I felt like I had been somewhere in the night.
          This is as much of the dream sequence that I could recall, its enough.
          I had to see a new shrink, not that I need a new one?! but somehow, I was headed to meet him, or her? The waiting room was filled with children, I was the only adult. I thought, this must be a huge mistake, or all the adults are in session and left these kids out here to drive me kooky! I waited and it was hot, and I felt the germs on everything, when this petite, dread locked, Indian Man dressed in a loin cloth and Sari called my name. I rolled my eyes back so far, I thought they would stick, but I followed. He opened the door to brightness and a courtyard that was crawling with people, the colors were exploding, the smells were strong, I felt disaster coming on. There were stairs, that I dreaded, but he said " Oh no, come here." Like he knew what I was thinking. A little tiny, empty office. Hot and pungent, with a green velvet, worn seat on the floor.( I had to go to the bathroom, and I thought, I will never get up off the floor) ( The chair covers reminded me of the living room furniture we had when I was a toddler) His desk was a rusted metal piece of nothing, and a metal chair.One notepad on his table, and he wrote little, and took his sari off. Now this Indian man, in the loin cloth, was sweating bullets, and I did not care. He shined out of his skin, adorable, charming and said nothing. ( I thought this is costing me so much money, for nothing) ( But I didn't care) ( I knew, I was there for a reason)
He asked me about my children, I told him I had five. He looked sad, " You say that with such sadness." I felt terrible, is he reading something coming off of me, that I don't love my kids?? How can that be, he has not even looked at me. He turns around, and said, " You have to embrace sadness, you will be OK.", " You are scared of being sad." and then he laughed, so hard, with no restraint.
     I sort of looked around, then a little kid came out of the back, it was his son. The Dali Lama ( That is what I thought he must be) grabbed my hand, and took me to his kitchen behind his office, his family was there. We exchanged hello, and the doctor man, DL, was bragging about me, proud of me, for something, I did not know what? Then I thought, this is the best therapy I have ever had. I feel wonderful, the smells were delightful, the peace coming from just the everyday hustle of people, was contagious. The magic man, took me to the courtyard, to continue to introduce me to his colleagues.
   There were flowers and food, and linen tents. Breeze and sunshine, and this little man, taking me all around. He then told me, you do not need to see me again, I charge 534.00$$ an hour, and you are perfectly fine, wonderfully whole and sadness will come to you, but never stay.
   There were more steps to get out of this place, and then the door shut. I thought about how much more I wanted to say, or just be in this persons space. Yet I was content to leave, and did not pay my bill, no one asked me to.
           As I said, I woke up, as if, I had been to India, and talked with a holy man.
           Routinely descended our staircase and started telling Bill my dream, then I had to stop. Grabbed my book and started to write. Bill said, " What are you doing?" Me answering him, " I have to write it down, quickly, it could float away in a second, and I think this one was special." and " I did not lose my purse or search for a bathroom in this dream, and that is a miracle!" He laughed, he hears all my dreams. ( Although I did think about peeing in green chair in his office, I don't know why? It is a dream, you know)
      My lesson, who knows, for sure.......I feel like since I lost my Ward....I think that I just have no more sadness to come out of me.....like when sad things may happen....I will break open and never close up again...the holy man said...I would be fine...sadness will come....I guess that may be what I took from this dream. Also to be at peace, where ever you are, knowing, "You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one...there is comfort in numbers, we are in this together, all of us.

This Is How I Roll

     There was a horrific storm in our area of the country last night. Maybe around 3:00am, I woke Bill, the hubs, up and said, " Did you hear that?" Note: He never does. " I think we may need to go to the basement?" mumbled me. Needless to say, the storm did not lift us to Oz, and I fell back to sleep.
I was a little pissed, because I was brain deep, into a dream. Not a nightmare, but something I think I needed to finish. I dream every night, and remember most by daylight.
I have two to tell you about, but this one below, is fresh off the linen.
Bill and I were taking our children and a few others, somewhere, I don't know where, but I was not going to go. He was squeezing a herd of middle age kids into our car, and I saw a cooler and a picnic basket.  I am OUT!!
Next I was at a mall-ish, Las Vegas convention center, with the brood, and I may have wandered off, on purpose, and they left me. (This may speak volumes, ignore) I ran into Dr. Bill Walklet and Dr. R.D. Jackson, whom I have not seen in forty years. Dr. Walklet was a radiologist who taught me everything about special procedures, he groomed me for bigger things, and I am forever grateful. I was thrilled to see him, and wondered why he was wearing a puffy shirt!!(Seinfeld) All I remember from my youth is fatigue, passion and wearing scrubs! Dr. Jackson was with me in the Cardiovascular Lab, and he was not a good teacher, he was a good friend, and low on patience. I love him to this day, my buddy, my friend who taught me more than he will ever know, but not about the Heart! or maybe he did? It was so good to see them. Dr. Jackson looked a little Asian, which he was not, but I knew it was him. They were young, like I remembered them.
       Then switch, I always am looking for my purse, and a bathroom, in every dream. I was in the process of doing so, when this convention center, locked down, due to terrorist and a flood. I had no way to escape, because, if you remember the hubs has the kids, and car. ( stop trying to think, you know what this is about!) ( just a dream) I think I saw Sammy Davis and Frank Sinatra, running, but as usual, I followed idiots!! They did not have a plan, and I soon went out on my own, to try and save my life. ( you can not rescue the world!) ( that may be the lesson?)
Then I heard the storm, or vice versa, all I know that I needed to talk to Dr. Jackson for a day or two, I had so much to tell him, but I got up.
     Before my feet hit the floor, I was singing, Don't Cry for me Argentina, loudly and I smelled a hamster cage!! Yes, that is correct. It is so much fun being me, seriously, laughing I roll down the stairs to let Bill know all about my dreams, and ask him if he smelled a hamster! Note: he never does, I just want him to be ready if this is my sign for a stroke.
I know....
Pure Joy....
Now I get to watch Wyatt, and our song list for the day, ( I have been practicing) is Leslie Gore, Bobby Vinton, and Sonny and Cher( early years) finishing off with CSN and sometimes Young!
Happy Friday to me and all of you.

My Drug of Choice, Books!

       I do love a good glass of wine, on occasion. A Bloody Mary with a brunch or two. My one Margarita, that gives me a splitting headache!
      But my best buzz, comes from reading.
      I cannot go anywhere or function, if I do not have several books downloaded and real books, stacked to the ceiling.
 I can read as many as I want, and not effect my driving or my behavior. Too much alcohol, is just that, too much.
      Grab a book,(get on some good anti-depressive meds) and maybe a glass of wine.

     Here are my last books that filled my cup.
            1. A Man Called Ove by Frederick Backman 
            2. Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty
            3. Sisters One, Two, Three by Nancy Star  
( Note...I wrote this blog on paper while watching, my Wyatt, and now I cannot read my handwriting, so hang with me! You may need to check these authors names!! and Book titles!! I think I am pretty close to what they are called!! Near is good!!)
( Near is Good, next blog title!!) ( No Gin and Tonic can make me that happy!!) ( to trip upon a word grouping!!)( plus I may write the entire blog in parenthesis!)
             Lets start with.Sisters.....I think these three books, I would put under summer reads, I do not know how I read them in February, but I did.
             Now some lines from Sisters that will guide you to reading it, or steer you away..
                Mimi is stubborn as bloodstain ( Love that)
               " Who knows. I trained myself not to listen, The minute she got that cuddly tone in her voice." ( powerful)
                You know tears are not for the car. Tears are for the privacy of your own room with the door closed. ( You can tell from these words, what year this book took place in)
                She didn't know a neck could be so unhappy (OMG this is brilliant)
                Well raised in the art of deflection ( holy)
                Ivan says a quiet exit speaks louder than a hundred words. ( yes it does!)
                Ginger felt the heat of her mothers irritation seep into the air. ( love the word, seep and I can feel this sentence!)
                about a thousand square foot of quaint! ( goes a long way)      
               Big Little Lies, I only started to read, because I began to watch it on HBO and I have no time to wait on things. Reading the book is quicker for me, so when I found out it was a book, I read it!
              Who has time to wait for endings??
              lines from the book....
              It's like their religion. They are fundamentalist mothers!! ( well, that is the truth) ) a step too far)
             Madiline had her mood under control, like a rabid dog on a leash. ( and the leash is not working)
             Women are like the Olympic athletes of holding a grudge. ( guilty)

Summer read for sure, think it may be an older book, can be combined with the series, kinda fun.
             Now finishing up Ove... I think there is a movie out on this also, maybe a foreign short film.
             So far it is lovely.
              A couple of snippets...
              He was a man of black and white. And she was color, all the colors he had. ( love that thought)
             Ove, only swine thinks size and strength are the same thing.(hummmm.)

Those were my three February reads. I start painting in spring and summer, so my reading dwindles, not in volume but in time that I have to read. Like I said before.
             It is my drug of choice. 


         

Fat to Ash

    March is here in Atlanta, hot and cold, with a twist of lemon!
    My new baby, Wyatt Heyward will be two months soon. He is divine. Maya Angelou said that you should light up, when your child enters the room. I wish life would allow that, but it gets away from you. This grandchild lights up my life, just as my other two do. You have nothing to do but shower them with love, without thinking about washing clothes, cooking food, or packing a lunch. I guess some of the critical work is gone, you hold them, and remember your babies. What you did right, and what you could have done different. I try to concentrate on all the good, and for me, there is much.
   This time of year, between Fat and Ash, pull at me. Maybe all holidays do, but The Lenten season, Easter and The Empty Cross, require your attention. Or, at least,mine.
   Easter growing up, going to church in the finest outfits, knowing you could come home to your still full Easter Basket, AND you could rip off your crinoline. ( Plus the elastic, and dotted Swiss dresses itched and were no fun!!!) But cute, mom had us all spiffed up.
  Easter time, with my babies, baskets and photos and Yardley, Pa. I loved the church we went to there. Father Gammon's and his family, Saint Andrews and the Duck Pond. The seven layer cake at the bakery! Oh that may have been another holiday!! Hot Cross Buns, now these were heavenly.
  Now Spring and Easter comes around with a new G-Baby.
  ( I could lay at the altar, right now, spread eagle, crying)
  It is just so special, to have another one.
  He is our good egg, our pint sized angel baby.
  This Easter we will get to be with Adrian and Finn, two of our older golden eggs!! It was not so long ago, that they were held ever so tight, by me.
  Maybe its Spring and New Growth, a peak of the sun on Ash Wednesday.
  This New Testament Story told, over and over again.
  Its Emotional, it is the only reason, I can get up in the mornings. It is the promise, that My Ward, is whole. Somewhere is this mass universe, maybe he has landed. He can come and go as he pleases, and visits me often. The Old Rugged Cross, is not just a song. It is the reason for everything.
  Pay attention to your people, even if they get on your last nerve!! Life is never easy, but it is full of Joy.
  Between Fat and Ash, take a minute to think, give thanks.
  Be still and Know.