Did You Look Under My Bed?

   As I sit in front of my writing tablet, well....that was a little Jane Austin.
   As I sit in front of my computer, notes on the side, my mind wanders.
   I need to write this personal blog, and sometimes it is just difficult.
   I need to always look under my bed, to this day, monsters?
   The monsters are so real in your youth, they are big and a putrid color of green. Why they reside in closets and under the bed , remains a mystery to me.
   You would think, or like to think, that as we age, the monsters go away. That is so far from the truth.
   I have a friend whose young son, has been diagnosed with cancer, and is in the fight for his life. The monster lives in his liver and colon, and his parents are afraid.
   My brothers have monsters close to home, that I wish were gone, when we turn on the lights. It scares me.
   This week, I woke Bill up, telling him of another nightmare I was having about my son Ward. I had marks in the palm of my hands from my fingernails, gripping so hard. I could not save him in life or in dreams. The monster of grief, never leaves me.
    Yet, peace also lives with me.
     It just seems, that some weeks, monsters win, and I have to get busy.
     Prayer, meditation, good thoughts sent out into the universe, good deeds, and a extra Prozac thrown in.   
     ( firm believer in medicine and work!) ( Prayer is work! believe me!)
    The weather and the holidays, grease the tube of melancholy, so I crank up the music. ( thank you Perlotta, for my Chanukah, Thanksgiving, Christmas gifts. Bette and Barbra, saved me!)
     Thank goodness for Egg Nog Light, its out now, and I love it. Thank whomever decided to put the word light on the outside of the carton, it makes me feel better.( Paleo people, I know its probably the devil, but I need some joy juice!)
      So excited for Christmas Carols, and smells of Thanksgiving. See.....that monster doesn't look so bad anymore. My cousin Jeannine use to say, " I just like all the combination of Thanksgiving food, on my plate."
Sometimes it is all about the combination, and cousins.
     So enjoyable to hear from cousin Mel this week, to rant with each other. Only cousins can just let it spill out!!! Good, Bad and Crazy all at one time. Our tongues were just a wagging.
     She has her monsters, just like we all do. Sometimes it helps to share.
   Now how do I wrap up this entry?
    In a blanket, my favorite one, one dog and a cat, good book, happy family and  a big sigh..I hope the monsters stay away for the night, sleep tight.( and while you are looking under your bed, you are on your knees