See You later Nicky

I have been pouring through photo albums, and boxes of pictures, hunting for my cousin Nicky.
We lost him on Sunday, or maybe many years ago?
There was this one photo of all cousins stuffed into the house on Kenmore Street, I can not find it!! The more I look, the more anxious I become. There were photos of Nicky as a Lifeguard at Jacksonville Beach, in his glory, with all of his boys. I thought I had organized my pictures, but not one is within reach when I need it. There are photos of Nicky, and I and Becky Anding in a photo booth, where or where?? Oh well, who needs a photo, I have a lifetime of stories about loving Nicky. In fact, my charmed life, is filled with delicious stories about all my cousins. I think for years, I was not really sure if I were a Brown or a Blackman. Growing up with 'trunk loads' of cousins, affords me with endless material, that I cherish.
Bill and I met Nicky and my brother Benjie in San Francisco many years ago for dinner. He was stationed out west, and I think he left something of himself there. Nicky's life was very different, for the remainder of his days. Are there ever really any answers? I hope he knew we loved him, even on the crazy days. We all have crazy days, not just Nicky!!! that is for sure, and the love remains.
I choose to remember that young strapping lifeguard, who I claimed out loud and proud!! "Hey, I'm Nicky Brown's cousin!"

I did find one photo!!! of cousins, and brother, I also found one of me holding a doll!!! They were in the same box, I have no organizational skills!!!