A Very Expensive Dorm Room

I have never held the title of "Superwoman", even though I have had Super moments!!!!
Working and taking care of a house, and people who live within, whips me.
My beautiful house, looks like a dorm room, with laundry multiplying as I type. My multi-task skills are used at school, and I turn into a vegetable when I open the garage door.
Dishes to wash, dishes to unload, shoes dropped all over these new hardwood floors!!!! Dog toys, cat toys, people toys lurk around each turn. Magazines and mail reaching near the ceiling, and it's OK. I fully embrace that I can NOT do it all!!!
My rumpled, messy palace gets cleaned on Mondays, and today its Tuesday!!!
Two loads of wash is spinning, we just finished supper, that all hands were on deck. Bill grilled, I made Broccoli and sweet potato fries. Hart took care of Lucy the lab, Tuesday and Thursday are his drop by nights. Emma did the dishes, the roomba is about to be turned on, three TV's are humming, chaotic joy. My charmed life, comes back into view.
We all can ,so quickly get overwhelmed with the little things, that we miss the big picture.
How many 59 year young women can still say they live in the dorms!!!

No Time To Think!!!

This is the first fall that returning to school, I feel I may make it!! It could be a mirage, and I may crumble any minute. Each year going back to work seems harder, until I see my kids.
Incredible, brilliant young minds, learning to speak southern English. Children from all over the globe, wanting to learn. Middle school mega drama, with no English, has to be so hard. These kids of mine, find the courage to tackle it all. I barely could change my clothes for PE at Kirby, Miss Pate scared me!!! and I knew the language.
I have depended on these children to hold me up, these last four years, and they did. I forgot for minutes about my broken heart, and held theirs. Wiped their tears, instead of wiping mine. All of us learning so much.
Grief seems to be hibernating more this year. I have placed it on the top shelf.
Although grief seems to be in a coma, its toll on me as a person has been life altering.
Work saved my life, these little children, carried me through.
This is my first fall in four years, that I can feel peace.
My family at school, and my real family will celebrate my Ward's 30th birthday tomorrow.
Laughter and Love will fill the house and the halls of school, in your honor, my precious boy.
Who needs time to think anyway!!!????

The drawing was done by Ward, the superhero, flying over mom, many many years ago. I think he still hovers near!!!

Dog Days of Summer, Extended..

My two boys were born in the Dog Days of Summer. Hot August birthdays, three years between. Thomas Ward Baron, August 26th, 1981, will not physically be with us for his 30th birthday, but we will celebrate his precious day!!!!! William Hartley Baron, August 21st, 1984, just turned 27 and we are "all caked out!" Webster defines the time between early July and early September as 'DOG DAYS" of summer. I define them as when my baby boys were born and my feet were the size of watermelons. Forever etched in my mind as the end of time(thought I was dying) and the beginning of life. I wanted those babies out of me, even if I had to reach long and far up "there" to yank them out. They were fully cooked, and I was done being the oven. Little, very little, did I know that my departure gate would not open. Two c-section babies coming right up.
My recovery plodded along like a sloth, but I was cruising on mommy la-la land brain cells, so it was all good. Both of these Bebe's never cried, because I could not put them down. I wanted to absorb their very breath!! My face lay buried in the nape of their neck, sucking up baby smell, praying it would last. We rocked to China and back, a millions times over.
My boys, and those sultry summer days, so MANY years ago, and so crystal clear.
It seems the not sleeping for thirty years has been blocked out of my memory!!!
Happy Birthday Ward and Hart, my boys of summer.

Photo of Hart, Ward and brother Brian

Are You Happy Yet?

I think I may have read this book before, or I have read so many "Make Me Happy" books, that they are morphing!!! I picked this last summer book, to continue in my journey, to be a better person. It's hard work, and I'm already happy!!! The book, The Happiness Project:Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun by Gretchen Rubin. How can you NOT read this book, the title is worth the price. My desire to ooze happiness, did not happen, the book annoyed me. Honestly not all of it, she had a plan for herself, and she is just sharing information, I get it. Do we need a plan? I guess it's ok, to set some goals? I think happy people don't search to be happy? My shrink once said, " Bonnie why do you think people need to be happy?" "No one is happy!" I loved that doctor!!! For years we fought over our opinion about happiness, he finally gave in, and I sent him a bill!!!
Happiness is all around, and you just have to give it a comfortable seat at the table!!! Each night, I thank the lord for my bed, I love my bed, it thrills me. Good shoes make me happy, and diet coke. Hair color makes me jump for joy, friends, family, animals. I love to open a new tooth brush, hold a baby, happy hold my heart.
I just did not feel it from this book. There were many good quotes in the book, that I will steal, and I thank her for that. Like Garrison Keillor saying, "we all fancy ourselves to be above average" love that line. Also "Everyday life seems so permanent and unshakable but, as I was reminded by these writers, in can be destroyed in a single phone call!" I have lived that sentence, and happiness found me. This quote, "Happiness is a how; not a what. A talent, not an object."
I choose to live a big life, giving and giving more. Using it up, wearing it out, all day, everyday!
I have a plan!!
So did this author, and I think she is happier for it.

It Has Been A Long Hot Summer

Before the movie began, we were sitting through the movie previews. Something that I usually enjoy, until I smelled horses!!!! I looked at Bill, and carefully asked him, "Do you smell horses, or horse s_it!!!!??? He looked at me with disbelief, and I got on my high horse!!! " They are making movies with smells these days!!!" and I do have horse whisperer powers!!! It was a strong smell, lingering. Did I mention there was a Spielberg preview about horses on the screen!! A true sad/happy horse story, and I smelled them!!! He laughed for a long time, too long!! I just blamed the heat, its been a long hot summer.
Many friends have expressed their hopes for fall to come quickly. Not I, my anxiety level is high, and its still mid August. I savor summer until the last bead of sweat falls. My house is warm, ac stays on 78 or above. I like the doors and windows open, the sun streaming in at all times. God don't change the time back, I need light. Summer is not finished with me yet, sweet summer stay.
I know its only a matter of time, and I do love the smell of pumpkin pie. Christmas delights me, and going back to school, well...its time.
Hope all my brain cells have not been "cooked" and my sense of smell has not been destroyed!!!
I find great pleasure in my ability to smell things, especially during previews!!!
Did I forget to tell you, I smelled fried chicken during "The Help?"
Praise Jesus, the heat did not get me yet!!!

Photos of the new movie coming out, "War Horse"

Not The Love Boat

Just returned from the ocean , on a big boat!!! My girl wanted to go on her first cruise, for making such good grades in her last year of college, I could not say no. So off we went. I had been on one cruise before, but that was before babies!!!
Many things I enjoy about cruising, and much that freaks me OUT!!! I love people turning down my bed and leaving me chocolates . Who doesn't?? I like when complete strangers know my name, after one day!!! Some semi-nice lady said, "Well, you know your name is on your sail pass(that you use like a charge card!)." I knew that, I just want to believe they know me, and are glad to see me!! My coffee lady, even knew I was Emma's mom!!! That is a great skill, and it says volumes about how much coffee I needed!!! I like dinning, and getting dressed for dinner. People act better when they are dressed better, fact!!! Now some of the gag moments. How about ugly people? I have never seen such people, with there guts hanging out, and no teeth, and PURE bad looking people. I was worried that there was something in the water. Not too much later, there was something in the water, a beyond skinny, too tan, drunk lady with an enormous open sore in the pool!!! So much for my pool time. The heat was so intense, that I had to take a dip, and then scrub my skin off, so the germ-germs would not choose me as a host!!!! Time to order a beverage, and it was only 9:30 am!!! Our excursions were informative and fun. I did start praying in the straw market, in Nassau, like a Pentecostal preacher! That these poor hot people, did not have to weave bad souvenirs, for all of us tourist!!!SO..I bought a fan that said, "Praise the Lord in the Bahamas!" We had fun in the sun, and did not hit any icebergs! I would have liked to see Jack coming down the banister, maybe another time.

Main Street Drive-In, 1967

My girl and I just returned from a sun-baked cruise. My blog list is long, but it will have to wait.
After not seeing a newspaper in a week, I began my morning routine turning the pages. The Atlanta-Journal Constitution Living Section, is my number one piece. Hubby grabs the sports, and we throw out world news. (CNN covers that info) I love useless information, and its never useless!!! Page two, celebrity birthdays, Dustin Hoffman is 74!! I could read no more. I was frozen in time, at the Main Street Drive-In, with my high school love. The Graduate was the big movie out, and I was going with HIM!!!! He asked me if I had seen it, and of course I lied. I had viewed the movie twice by our date, drooling with my girlfriends over Dustin Hoffman, and seeing sex on the big screen, Huge!!!! I was so excited to finally get to make-out with HIM, little did I care what was playing. We sat close to each other, both of us young and nervous. OK, he was nervous, I was about to eat him up, when Dustin Hoffman came onto the screen. I lost myself, AGAIN, to his sweet innocent self. This was one of the most important dates of my life, I was a young girl in love, and we were at the drive-in!!! The speaker crackled on the window, and my heart sunk!!! I'm in love with two people, one in this old black car and one in the movie, what was I suppose to do??? Kiss and watch the movie, it can be done. Sweet memories, came rushing toward me this morning, with the thought, Dustin Hoffman is how old??? The Graduate will always remain one of my all time favorite movies, and that night at the Drive-In on Main Street, I'm still thinking about it forty years later. Here's to you Mrs. Robinson, Happy Birthday Dusty.