"Show" Food!!!

When Ward died, I could not complete, or often try, everyday tasks. One of them, was going to the grocery store. I guess, like all moms, I associated buying food and cooking for my family, a nurturing responsibility. My child had died and somewhere in my brain, I could not nurture anyone else again. So I stopped going to the store, along with not caring what my family or I ate.
Thank God Bill took over, and Hart soon came home to live with us for a year.
They took care of me, until I had the strength to take care of them.
Eventually I would have to come back to the land of the living. Nearly two years would pass before,
I ventured into a store by myself. I still don't like to go to Kroger, our main store without someone.
Sounds strange, yes, but the death of your child is not normal, so everything is strange.
This July finds me able to go and not see everything that Ward would eat as a child. I have even found ways to make shopping a little more entertaining, and healing. I buy, "show food"!! Food that I just display. I'm not wasting it!!! it is a tool to make me feel better, and learn to love to cook and feed my family again. I keep muffins, or cakes or cookies, under a glass cake plate. Bananas and oranges, and apples, all out. In neat baskets, and on the counter, bringing me joy, and teaching me, that I will be OK.
This Saturday, I went with Bill to shop, and it was not horrible!!!! We were in the produce section and I saw the most darling Clementines, and I said,"Oh we have to get these?" Bill said, "Do you eat these?" "NO, its show food!!!" As long as we can laugh, we can nurture.
****Note, I did buy some Old Spice body soap for Ward's bathroom, Bill looked at me funny. Sad-like eyes, until I chirped up and said, " He would love that I remembered his soap!!!!"We put it in his shower, July is a hard month.