I Have Been to the Mountain Top!

  I know it has been fifty years since, my friend Martin, spoke to the crowds in Washington. I respect him and others who rode the bus, and walked the walk. However.....
  Occasionally I use the phrase, in the biblical sense. Like I have witnessed a miracle, or been to see Bruno Mars!
 I have been to the mountain top of Bruno Mars, and it was life altering.
( You can not compare Martin Luther Kings speech to Bruno Mars, but..... I am filled with the spirit, and it is my blog!)
  He spoke to me, his voice is perfect.
  He brings back Little Anthony to me, maybe some Smokey, Michael Jackson, and some New Orleans Jazz with some Memphis Blues thrown in. This small, young man, with a Mahalia Jackson volume, and sex oozing out of every pore. Marvin Gay would have a run for his money. This precious man?boy? sung his heart and other parts of his body out!! He is Gladys Knight and the Pips, he is mine! Old school and new wrapped up in glitter, yes he dropped gold glitter on the crowd towards the end. I held my hands to the heavens!
His band was fantastic, the lighting was the Matrix, and a single spotlight all at once. There was a screen behind him, that had all, from his old videos to giant parrots flying off the screen.

 We danced the night away, and sang each word. Bruno Mars is an entertainer, who would take a grenade for me!! Young and old, black and white, men and women filled the seats, and he put a spell on us.

I have been to the mountain top, and my preacher man Martin, would say, " and all my children shall hold hands!
and we did, united by music, we are beautiful, just ask Bruno!

Tangled Web of August

  Usually August is my favorite month, she holds me with her sweaty hands, and I pause.
  Not so much this sweet month of August, I feel like the fly in the spiders web. Stuck in some ways, not necessarily someones supper, but for sure trying to break loose!!
  My children's birthdays, and so many friends celebrating with me, the well wishes I hope have reached all.
  My Trip with Emma to Hilton Head, with a second trip to Jacksonville. Spun me deeper then I had intened.
  My mother has hurt her back, and daddy depends on mom, so off I went. Not sure of how to help, but thinking I could, somehow?? The web pulls in so many different directions, you try and go with the flow, until the spider starts to move! Then you need a plan, A,B, C and maybe D, because most spiders are not Charlotte.
  It is never easy to see your parents hurt, or age. I have been lucky to have so many good years, and my brothers that live near them. This visit I was caught, being a daughter and wanting to be a helper. My parents, 82 and independent, came to a bump in the road.
 We children have our ideas of what to do, how to help, but I don't think they are listening right now. That is OK, they are hurting and their minds are reeling. They may be stuck in that web also.
 August is testing me, teaching me to be a good listener, trying to communicate better, and loving my parents through this special time.
 It has also taught me to pack lightly, and be ready for anything.
 August rain has drenched my feet and soul, but she reminds me of all that is good.
 Faith is in knowing that I have no control. Who does, is what I know.
 While helping?? daddy burn garbage, yes I think it is not OK, I saw this spider in this web. I ran and got my camera and took several pictures. I was like a child, I ran back inside to show mom and dad, " Look at his beautiful spider web." They oooooo'd and ahhhhh'd , like I was five. I told them, I think there is a blog in here somewhere.
 I was right, there was.
 Perception and a plan, Iam not waiting for that spider.

SPF 30, What??

 August, my favorite birthday month, and all around summer month of hotness, is here and she is staying.
 I welcome the beast...
 However after a short trip to Hilton Head this weekend, I noticed a change in how my semi-young body is reacting to the rays of August. After about an hour of lolly gagging in the sand, 15spf smeared on, I felt a burning sensation. What could that be? I sat up, and looked at my girl Emma, and said, " Crack out the 30 momma is cooking!" Another hour went by, front thirty, back thirty, ankle deep in the ocean, repeat and I was ready to go. "Sister, lets go to the pool, and look for drinks with umbrellas!" I whispered to Em. So we trudged through the sand, to relief. Funny thing is that, I was already crispy burnt, ME, this Floridian! This native of iodine and baby oil, was well done. When we arrived back at the apartment, jumped into the shower, and came out, Emma Lea said, " Mom, have you seen your back?" snap, she took a picture.
I looked on her phone and screamed, "What has happened to me? and you had better delete this picture this second!!!"  I didn't have any pain, (maybe I have diabetes and can not feel things??)...I would have prayed for all this sun in my youth and sat in the sun for over eight hours to get it, day after day! This was a couple of hours, and what am I going to do on Saturday, I was going to spend another glorious day at the beach??
I guess I need spf 50, is there such a thing?? I refuse to buy it!! I will wear a shirt over my swimsuit, its all good. In my brain its always good, not a bad way to live!!

Reality bites.

Saturday, spread out again on my towel, covered with a shirt and now a visor, I lasted maybe 45 minutes. Then I ran to the pool, and sat under a giant tent with all the old people. I was the only person there, with any color, these folks were Casper white. They looked like Q-tips, long and with white hair. I kept my Prada sunglasses on, one to look cute, and the other to not let them see me stare. Why do white people go to the beach or pool, to sit in the shade??? Well now I know, because I am one of them!! I opened my Kindle, had my phone near, and remembered the waiters that bring you drinks at Ponte Vedra Beach pool. That's what is missing, I want a pool person.

I was having a lovely time, until this grandmother asked me if the chair beside me was being used, and I said, "well yes, by my stuff!!" I was an organized shade person. I chuckled and gave up the chair, and she 'fell Out' beside me. She was as white as the concrete we were sitting on, she had big bags of stuff to spread out, she had bobbie pin curled white hair!! She was chatty, shade people are chatty!! I had to gather up and head out, these are not my people yet!!

I need the sun, I will put on 50spf so I can sit out. Iam not ready for the tent.

Needless to say, I sit here today, creamed over with aloe, popped a Benadryl for itching, and am thinking about how my August has changed forever. I have advanced to higher sunscreen, I have been to the tent!
Its a new day for this sun goddess of years gone by.

The only things that should be white, are these! 

To Keep In Reserve

   I can not be the only one on the planet, that worries about hoarding.
   ALSO...surely others beside myself watch the show!!!

  There is so very little to watch on TV, why am I drawn to these poor people who hoard? I gasp at the houses filled with stuff ( I would have said shit, but I don't want mom to flinch!!) Truly it must be a disease, no one would live among tons of, what can you call trash and five million Christmas ornaments? Stacked to the roof, boxes of Boxes, nothing in them!! Help me understand this crazy. Baffled and with a little puke in my throat, I watch. Not often do I see the show, I just happen on it, with the clicker, one of many clickers!! Is that the first sign? I have more then one clicker to choose from!! Yikes, its happening.

Last week, I got sucked into the horror show, and lost it. The lady had thirty-five cats, thirteen that were dead and flat as a pizza. They did not use a litter box, naturally! cat poo and urine throughout the castle. Years of living like this. She had a chair, the rest of the house, was packed like sardines with SHIT, not the cat kind. ( Sorry mom, this blog requires some choice words, close your eyes!) The clean up people could not help this lady, it was not cleanable!! It was destroyed, and she thought it was fine. She used her bathtub as a toilet, and the towel rack for ribbon that she used to wrap presents?? I sit in utter disbelief that this can happen, but it does.

Bill asks me why I watch? I want to see the clean house at the end. I think??

Yesterday Hart and I were at an antique store, where I was stepping over stuff, and found some gloves and a picture that called my name. I looked at him and said, "Hoarding!" Being his fathers son (yes mine too?) he said, "Why do you watch that show?"

"Well...its cheap therapy, it prevents my hoarding demons to take over!"

He smiled, and I know what he was thinking, "Where are you going to put the gloves mom?"
"On my hands, what kind of question is that?" me thinking....gloves are stylish and these are pink, and I love them, oh  sweet Jesus....its happening.

So this beautiful Saturday morn, I will be cleaning out some of my clutter. Classic clutter, some you just have to keep in reserve.

pssssss this is a serious problem for people, I hope they all get good help. Stuff (shit) will suffocate you. ( thanks mom for giving me your cleaning DNA, keeps me balanced!)

Self Help ME!

 It should not be a surprise to anyone, that I read great quantities of books. So it needn't alarm you, that I like to throw in a Self Help book, every fourth book or so.
 I have just finished two, that I would like to offer up to any one wishing to learn more about their self!!
 Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live by Martha Beck and The Joy Diet: 10 Daily Practices for a Happier Life also by Martha Beck ( note this is not a diet book!!)

 These two reads, were just so fantastic, that you just have to trust me. I think all humans should be trying to better themselves, it takes research and work, but we are so worth it. We benefit, and those we surround may reap the rewards. I too believe in good meds, and a therapist, but knowledge is power,  keep reading.
I also believe in deep knee bend praying, and some holy water thrown about! I engage in yoga, zumba, tai chi, chi chi, ho ho, and he he!! Whatever it takes, to live a happy life and pay it forward.

Let me just temp you with some lines from these two pills, take with a tall glass of something!!

The North Star:
     * Any good Buddhist will tell you, the only way to find permanent joy is by embracing the fact that nothing is permanent.
     *she gave me some of the best advice I've ever heard. " Listen," she said, "you're supposed to avoid stress and get lots of rest. But if your soul wants to dance, staying in bed is stressful!"
     *Thanks for sharing Yoda, but I have rent to pay and a cat to feed!
     *we choose elements of what William James called "the blooming, buzzing confusion" around us, and build our stories from a very limited selection of facts.
      *some people have the maternal tenderness of a starving crocodile!
Are you healed now, feeling better, finding your own North Star? I had highlighted 79 places, this book is a keeper.
So I liked this woman, so I downloaded her next book, Joy Diet, one I liked Joy in the title and it was not about weight loss.
 Here goes.
      * doing nothing is the most productive activity you will ever undertake
      *always end with me hunched at my computer, muttering and rocking like Rain Man when he couldn't get cheese puffs. ( you have to read the book! this is about a child asking for something a million times!)
      * I suggest that instead of spending your idle time stewing in guilt, you do nothing with pride and gusto.
      * the typical human mind is like a supercomputer possessed by the soul of a demented squirrel.
      * Michelangelo once said, " If people knew how hard I work, they wouldn't find my achievements so remarkable."
It takes WORK to be remarkable, it takes WORK to be kind and live a life of Joy. People who read self-help books tend to be members of the High Achievement Club. I feel like if you are reading my blog, you too are in my club. Always learning, seeking to be better and understanding.
Picasso said, " I have worked all my life to learn how to paint like a child." This is gold.
This blog makes me happy, these books helped me write this blog, hope you get a chance to read them.
You were born for Joy.
psssss. My favorite shrink asked me, " Why do you think you are suppose to be happy Bonnie?" I think I will send him these books, AND charge him 200 dollars an hour!! ( I do love him as a shrink!) ( he just needs some joy juice!)

Fauna and Flora

  Recently, my girl stated, "Mom, July is almost over and you have not written a blog!"
I would never know she was adopted, she is so much like me. Who thinks July is almost over on July 6th? Only a child from my loins, right! or my child from India, who has my DNA swimming through her veins as I type! Nurture or Nature, will always remain a big debate, just not in our household!
 I reminded her, that we had just returned from South Alabama, on a girls trip, I have time!! Thanks for reading my blogs Em, and keeping me on my toes. Oh my its July 10th, where has the month gone?

 The first ten days in this July have "Gone with the Rain!" The heat turned up, and the heavens opened. The syrupy air hangs heavy, and we saunter through the days. These are the days of my youth, minus the beach!
The beach at my backdoor, would be my Nirvana. Instead I have the flora and fauna in abundance this month. In Atlanta, the flowers have bloomed and bloomed again. It has been a beautiful spring and early summer, UNTIL the bunnies and deer came to stay. Never have I concerned myself too much, I figured that they needed some blossoms. The bunnies are so cute, there must be sooooo many, and in one night my garden was gone. Nibbled down to a few stalks, I called all Barons out to witness the destruction. Then proceeded to google natural remedies. No luck, nothing worked, and now I have no cayenne for chili! So I went to the depot and bought deer and rabbit spray(especially after google told me to pee in a jar and sprinkle my urine all around, lord!). Sprays scare me, I don't want things to die, just not like my beauties. ( although I did hear, that my neighbor saw a hawk grab a bunny for lunch, and I did not cringe! Food chain!)

Well, before I spray, I decided to read the label, and I noted that the ground has to be dry! It has rained for 10 days, what the heck, is someone suppose to do? I thought about blow drying the area, but I think a storm is coming!  The spray sits on my counter, and the fauna is happy, the feast continues. It has been dry in Atlanta for the past several years, when I could spray but didn't need to! Now it is raining cats and dogs and bunnies and deer, and the bottle says, spray in a dry area!!! I am sure Satan has something to do about this mess, a friend of mine got bit by a copperhead so now I cannot even go in the yard!! and Lucy the lab, has a box turtle cornered in the yard!!! I live in the burbs, what is it with all the animals!!?? It is like a huge petri dish around my house, everything is growing!!! 

I have no complaints , I have had cut flowers for two months, and now you can see all my 4th of July flags, because all that is around them are stalks!! So I guess its, a win-win July, at least for this day, and if you listen to Emma or her mom, ME, July is almost over!!!

Zelda with a "Z"

   June continues to seem like a long month to me. Summer slow, where the air begins to get thick. I yearn for these days. My back door is open, and Satan's humidity is creeping into my diggings. Atlanta is no Miami hot, but it will certainly cause you to wet your whistle! Ice water, sweet tea with lemon, a little something to ease the pain, so you can wither away longer. These are reading days, back porch sitting, reading days. So before I settle down, I thought I would share some of the books, that have been my friends for June.

 The Fitzgerald duo are near and dear to my heart. Scott and Zelda, are like relatives to me. Scott, because he married Zelda. Miss "Z" because she was born in the south. That Alabama girl is surely related, so I read all books about my kin.

 I love writers, books about writers, and when you throw in the influence of the south, Iam in knee deep in hanging moss and humidity.

 So it is no surprise to me, that I picked, Z: A Novel of Zelda Fitzgerald by Therese Anne Fowler.

My Bill always asks me, as do others, what I am reading? When I told him about Zelda, he said, "You could write your own book about her."
I semi-smiled and said, "Why thank you, I think?"
I remind him, that it is all family research. "You know she is a relative?" repeating myself over and over!
"Yes, so you say!" he responds, knowing I know he is not listening to one word I have said!

 Back to my story, the book was delicious, but you know that. Who doesn't know about Zelda? Anyone?
 My daddy always said, " Never assume!" but I think the world reads like I do. Unbridled desire to learn everything! Non-fiction, fiction, you need to read about my Zelda.
 Here are some lines from the book, that may spark your reading fever.
  *If only people could travel as easily as words.
  * Nothing except luck protects you from catastrophe.
  * But Zelda, what wouldn't you give to go back to the beginning, to be those people again.
  * Look closer and you will see something extraordinary.
  *"You can't have peach preserves every day of your life!" Aunt Julia said that was the only thing keeping me sweet enough to evade the devil!!! (delicious)
  * My standards were based on good sense, not the logic of lemmings
  * Zelda Sayre of 6 Pleasant Avenue, she of the toe shoes and angel's wings. Livye said, " and devil's smile."
  *"I'm wiser than I am impetuous or improper, rest assured."
  * Trouble don't need an engraved invitation.
  * His father was old-fashioned, too, but Scott thought him benign, like an old pocket watch that keeps time and has style but isn't worth much.
  * "Ludlow once told me his nanny could cut his meat just by scowling at it.
  *Days longer than whole months crawled by
  *There would be too much everything and not enough anything, and then where would that leave us?
I will end on that line. Zelda and Scott sucked up life and spit it out, and if they had lived now, certainly would have been put on some good meds. Then no books would have been written, and no stories told.
It is a fine line with artists, alcohol, mental illness and the years you have it all.

T.S. Elliot wrote, If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?

This is a tall story, a long month of June story, a must read story for all who read.

My Zelda, "Z", from Montgomery, dressed in her prettiest spring dress and finest floral perfume, met Scott and the story begins.

I love them both.