35 Shades of Sunscreen

     Growing up in Florida, the beach was our backyard. In the summer we lived there, and in Florida the summer is long and hot.
     I remember telling mom, that it looked like a beach day, so school would be on the back burner that day. I think it was skipping school, but when your mom knows, its not so wrong. All of our grades were good, and all of our teachers knew.
    In the summer, you tried to have a job at night, not during daylight hours.
    The beach rules were 10 to 2, if you had a date, because beach hair needs work. Curlers and bonnet hair dryers took a couple of hours, for the Dippity Doo to set the curl.
    We traveled light, no sunscreen, no towels, maybe a chair, fifty cents if we were lucky. No snacks, no water, just us and a few free hours, with all of our friends.
   My early years were at Jacksonville Beach. I was so lucky to experience young lifeguard love. My cousin Nicky Brown was my ticket in. He was a lifeguard with George and Doug, and so many sweet, cute boys, that allowed me to swoon at the bottom of the lifeguard stand. They were tan and perfect and adorable. They were my heroes, all of them.
    Then came the teenage years, further down the beach. Past Neptune Beach, were the Access beaches. Access 5, was our favorite spot. That is were my surfer boys were. That is where I pretended to desire to learn to surf ( note this was before Jaws came out ). Jeff Owens spent hours with me, saying " You can do it!" ( and that was way before NIKE) I never did get up, but I was very good surf watcher. If I really wanted to watch the boys, we would head to The North Jetties. I recall getting cars stuck at the jetties, riding on the dunes, and sleeping at the Jetties. ( Some of those stories are in the vault, but still bring a smile to my face)
    The Crossroads, Talbot Island, Fernandina Beach, St. Augustine Beach and if a road trip was in order, beaches all around, up and down!
    I tell you all of the above information, for fun and to set up my next thought!
    I got ready to go to the pool yesterday, and you would have thought I was packing for Paris! ( Maybe the south of France) Three towels, ( one to roll up for my head, like a pillow!), thirty-five shades of sunscreen, ( to keep the dermatologist happy), two water battles, two kindles ( don't ask!), cell phone, pad of paper and pen for blogging material, sunglasses, bathing suit, bathing suit cover-up, visor, purse and some magazines ( trashy pool reads). What happened to that young girl at the beach?
   Well, she grew up and found out it takes a village to make her comfortable. She ( me) laughed out loud and knew that, all this stuff was just some added bonus for living a life of love, and service to others.
   SO I spread out all my things, and enjoyed a couple of hours at the pool. All by myself! A sweet time to reflect on my beach memories, I could see everyone's tan sweet face, hear nothing but waves and laughter, smell the ocean, and wipe a tear from my eye.
   I consider myself to be one of the luckiest girls in the world.
   All my beach buddies, know who you are, and I love you to and from Jacksonville Beach to the Jetties.
   Florida....we do things different....and are better people for growing up there...

Let Us Go To, Lake I Wanna Talka.......

   Hold onto your britches and try to follow this blog.
   I should be writing at least every other day, and life seems to just suck me into its vortex of busy.
   So I have a mass of random stuff to say, from the shores of Lake I Wanna Talka!!!!
      Last week, leading up to the anniversary of Ward's death, was a beast. Sometimes you just have to hide under the covers of grief, or in my case, keep moving like a maniac! I often feel like if I stop for a minute, my heart will hurt to bad, and I will never recover. Even if I remain still, like in painting a picture, my mind is at Six Flags on the Scream Machine! This seven year of not seeing my boy, was no different. I thought by Sunday that grief had won, my arms and legs, seemed so heavy. So I stayed in the prone position a tad longer, praying for some miracle. AND..expecting a miracle! You cannot just pray, you have to work hard.
The Sunday Morning program, the only news I can stomach came on, and my head was still flat as a pancake on the pillow! My eyes were to heavy to open, when I heard " synchronized fireflies" or as we say in the deep, lightning bugs!! I sat up, and knew that this was my miracle. This beauty in nature, beyond reason. I think it was in Tennessee,  but you have to take into consideration my mental state!! ( You will have to do some research, its good for you)
 People travel from all over to sit in the darkness, in the woods, waiting for this show. I have never seen such beauty in my life, and I have been around the block a time or two. This was heaven, thousand of these bugs with their hind end blinking together. I can not explain this magic, I hope you get a chance to see it. Find it. These beauties of light, gave me hope, on a sad Sunday morning. Joy around every corner, amazing.
   How to harness this happiness on such a sad occasion, was my job. So I got up and going, bought plants to add to the yard. I believe that your surroundings should comfort you. There was soccer on the tube, and I was thankful it was over!! ( I enjoyed it, but enough) ( another miracle)
OMG the computer just crashed for twenty minutes and I thought I lost my mind and the blog!!! found it, but now the train of thought has left the station!!!
  Then I saw a commercial about my real birthday day date, August 1!!! The James Brown movie is coming out and I screamed!! Thank you Jesus for James Brown and for whomever mad this movie.
   I love James Brown.
   I was a very young girl, and must have seen him on the Ed Sullivan show. I told my daddy that I loved James Brown. Now you do remember where I am from, right. It was the early sixties. My parents seemed semi-liberal to me, what did I know? But loving James Brown...was not an option. ( some of this story has to be shelved) ( ugly words will not be spoken or typed by me) There were words used to describe James Brown that I did not understand until much older. I could not buy his record, but I had a transistor radio. ( truly I think if James had been white parents all over the world would have been freaked) He was vulgar, nasty dancing, people had not seen the likes!! and I could not get enough. He was the King of his music, he was James Brown. ( note-my parents said the same things about Mick Jagger!!) ( Times were changing)
I had a long history of love for James Brown, and will be proud to see his story brought to the big screen.
( My brother Benjie can dance just like him! and Mick Jagger!) ( We Blackmans(maiden name) have all kinds of claims to frame!) The south was about to make some big changes, and I lived right in the center of it all. I give my parents credit for teaching me, to love all people. Never to judge a person by the color of their skin, but if their music is bad!! or if they are dancing "nasty" as mom would say, that is another story!
  Love one another, play your music loud, dance like my brother or James Brown! Walk through the bad days, looking for something past or present to cause you to jump for joy! and if you see the synchronized lightning bugs! shout AMEN!

Thank You Hart

   This morning I received a text from number four son, Hartley Baron, we call him Hart. It was an early message, which I like, seeing my children up early and getting ready for work, but....still having time for some research , plus thinking about mom!!

   Let me back up a minute...
   I celebrate my birthday right after July 4th through the end of August. Always have, will continue. My mother started it by giving us presents early, because she could not wait ( we do not believe in delayed anything), then she would feel bad, and get us something on our birthday, she was always a giver. You did not need a reason. I firmly continue this position, and I start with me! You have to take care of yourself, in order to spread the love so easily! Women have a hard time with this concept, not this lady!
 I give out many ideas and lists, and fortunately I am an easy person to buy for. It could be a bag of peaches, a card in the mail, or a text from my boy telling me, that Andre 1000,( or is it 3000?) is playing Jimi Hendrix in a new movie and he sent me me the movie trailer!!! " Come to mama! I love me some Jimi H." and all of this before 7 in the am! Let us celebrate each day!

 Watch trailer

   I must say that also, after July 4th I start to semi-panic that summer is on the down slope, and want to squeeze the life out of each warm day.
   Plus...always buy yourself some gifts, put them in a gift closet or drawer, in case of....well, there is no chance of bad gifts coming my way, but I don't know all your family and friends. I hope you have trained them well.
  Emma ( my only girl) takes notes, about what mama likes. From a tube of lipstick color, to my newest music love. I have a daughter in law, that has the best fashion taste, and a daughter in girlfriend, that loves to shop! I get calls and text from all my children, not daily but often enough! that I feel the love year round.
  Just last night Hart, asked me if I had seen the new ESPN spread of naked athletes in it? I told him, I had seen it on TV, but if he was a good son ( Yes I can be a Jewish mother also!!) that would make a good gift.
 Gifts don't have to cost anything, but its OK if they do.
 I bought pickled string beans at the Farmers Market, last Saturday, and hollered, " Happy Birthday Bon-Bon!" the lady said, " Oh, its your birthday." I smiled, and replied, " Yes, daily!"
 I scheduled my colonoscopy, and whispered, " Happy Birthday, to your health! Bonnie Kay!"
Again last night, Emma (voice of reason) reminded Hart " You know mom celebrates her birthday, all of July and August." Hart barked, " Well I am going to start doing the same thing!"
 I reminded him that he could not take all of my ideas, he had to make his own traditions. So he responded with, " August 21 until Christmas, that is what I will celebrate!"
 We all laughed, another gift!
  I think we should celebrate each day, and be aware of all of our gifts to each other.
 AND if you come up short one day, I have a closet full!!
 Giving and receiving, the best
 Jimi Hendrix, now that is the best best!! Thank you Hart

OFA

   June has seemed long to me, this 2014. Yet here it is the last day, and I feel so surprised that it is here.
   The sultry month of June has stretched on and on, like a long sip of iced sweet tea, with extra lemon!
The sun has been hazy and hiding, bringing showers on most days.
I love summer days, but...I have noticed that this June-Bug month has caused me to search for "outlets of angst" I know that needs to be on a bracelet!
    Luck favors the prepared, and you know I have my fingers in all kinds of activities.
The World Cup of Soccer has kept me entertained, and a little off-center?, I just don't understand a game that no one scores in??
Wimbledon, advantage me! I love tennis , on any surface.
I had a tennis instructor once tell me, " You love the net Bonnie, nothing is getting by you!" I think I said thank you, but he may have been calling me a beast?? who knows! So I used tennis as an outlet, whatever works. I love playing it, and watching it. It puts me in a zone, minus meds!or a martini, a perfect match for me.
 Reading is always an outlet for me, another zone of utter joy. I read A Place at the Table not great, all over the place reading. Am now on The Vacationers by Emma Straub, very enjoyable, so far. Families on vacation, with all their baggage ( not the rolling kind) is always a story or two that fascinates me. I have in the waiting, Hollow Ground, by Natalle S. Harnett, and If I Stay, by Gayle Forman. Those will be into July, now it seems fast, this summer is almost gone!!!
  I have seen two movies in June, or I may have not have remembered some?
  I watched Her, and liked it. I would have given Scarlett Johansson  an Oscar for her voice!
  I also viewed The Invisible Women  with Ralph Fiennes( I would watch him eat cereal) It was slow and English, and delicious. Bill reminded me several times, how slow the movie was! I reminded him, that it was perfect, and to do some research on Charles Dickens while we watched it! Since it was about Charlie and his 13 year affair with an 18 year old girl, I needed more details, and Bill needed to Sush!
   To wind down here, art continues to be my outlet of the summer, thrilling me to my bones. I have been doing watercolors, and am thinking of pastels for the fall. It is just a pleasure beyond words.
Tomorrow we are going to paint, I think Dahlias at one of the ladies home. We have to be there early for the cool morning weather and the right sun. AND she lives in the former house of Cher and Greg Allman, how much fun can a person have!!!
  If you know me, summer is hard for my family since we lost our boy, I tend to stay put and reflect. I work very hard to continue to breathe, left foot, right foot move, and enjoy this beautiful life.
Outlets for angst, we all need them, some more than others and some more in the summer months.
OFA, you know that needs to be on a bracelet!!!



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I Had An Epiphany Not A Stroke!

   While driving to my art class last week I had a moment of clarity!
    My entire happiness is contingent to the last song I hear.
   The ten minute car trip, or less began with Counting Crows, Mr. Jones. I took a big breath and almost spoke in tongues, " I forgot how much I like this band," and then I sang my heart out. One red light, two, should I turn the radio off so this song is stuck in my head, no I feel lucky, let's roll the radio dice.
  Nothing, I have clicked about ten radio stations, I turn to pull in at my art studio place, and I hear
      You've got your ball
      You've got your chain
      tied to me tight, tie me up again     Crash Into Me-Dave Matthews
I sit back and relax, to this perfect song and voice. Knowing that I will be in a good place for my artwork zone! Until, you know I can not be still! I had to write down the title of the song and some of the lyrics, in case Google never works again! I rummage in my purse, the cauldron of no return, to find a pen and pad.
I love my notes, that only I can read, I will post you some of them, for your enjoyment.
I see a line, Hike up your skirt a little more, but then started singing. I wrote his voice is heaven, but voice looks much like the word cock, so lord knows where my mind may have been going with this, lets stay with heaven!
I very seldom throw away my notes, because I find a word, phrase or entire blog written on scraps of paper.
Just like the above title, I had an epiphany not a stroke was a scribble from Amsterdam and at the bottom it says, Mobility Impaired!!! which I will use at a later date! I just love the sound of Mobility Impaired. There has to be a story in there!!
Back to music....
Turn up the radio, put on your favorite CD, to start your day, survive your day, and end your day.
Music makes a difference, or it could be a stroke!!

MEN and More Men

   As I sit at the kitchen table this sultry summer morning, listening to the hammers and paintbrushes of worker bee men in my house, (lord what a run on sentence and I continue!)I reflect about men in my life.
  Boy crazy is a term that I heard, very early in my life. Not pull off your panties crazy, but I love men.
  I have loved many and still do, from the depths of heart, love, love, love.
  I married a man, Dr. Bill, with two sons, we soon had two more sons and later adopted our daughter Emma. I have two brothers, and so many male cousins that I still love to this day! My dad and uncles, play and played a huge part in the person who types now. All the sweet boys, that I dated and loved to pieces, treated me like a princess ( OK, there were some toads, but they get no air time) and taught me to take it down a notch! I still remain on a pedestal, but I keep myself there! Its a healthy crown to balance! I just want to thank all the boys/men in my life, for stroking the fires ( that sounds naughty?) Maybe I should say, " Thank you for loving me back" and making me appreciate the good in men.
  Even the worker men, that help me, I salute you for being on time and careful with my stuff and listening to me!
  Thank you to my husband for helping me raise boys that are good men, I adore them.
   Thank you to all the moms out there that raise boys, to be exemplary men.
   ( I just heard the garbage man swing by, Lord I love a man that will pick up garbage!)
My den is a wreck, and I choose to think about good men in my life!
This finding happiness in chaos is hard work, ( now I hear the tree trimming men, Love them)

I Love Crazy

   I have a tendency to love crazy, dancing, music, people, plants, colors, smells, I just love so much. I could be a love hoarder! ( new idea for reality TV)
   People that know me, know this character plus or minus.
   Right now I am so in love with Jimmy Fallon, more then back in the day, love him.
   He makes me smile without saying a word, and he gives me so much material. Food for thought.
    I watch him, at a later date, so you may or may not get my references, but that is OK! ( remember I write my blog for me, and you are my icing, that I eat first! but the writing, is my therapy)
    One of his shows, he was interviewing Barbara Walters, and she mentioned (and they showed a clip) that while she hosted the Tonight Show years ago for Johnny, she danced with Ray Bolger! I looked at Bill, and he knew something crazy was about to pour from my mouth. To Bill, " If I could have anyone come back and have dinner with me, or just visit, it would be Ray Bolger!" He seemed mystified, which I find hysterical after years of marriage, " Really, not Jesus or Presidents?" I replied, " No Ray Bolger, and Fred Astaire, and I would dance with them for hours and wear a beautiful dress that flowed when they spun me around!" and " He was The Scarecrow, you know!" and " I think I am Ginger Rogers!" ' Jesus knows me, I don't need a visit!" Then the hamster wheel was turning, if I could have five people, dead or alive, come visit and dine with me? ( Get out the pencil and pad quick!) ( Thank you Jimmy Fallon for you!)
   Dancing is covered, now who else. I love funny people, and I love neurosis, so Woody Allen. He may have to come by himself, not with the others. I have many questions, and I love his comedy so much, that I need to talk to him about some stuff?? I don't like to be disappointed in my favorites, so we need alone time.
Two more.....hummmmmm.......I would love to sit and listen to Jackie Gleason and Red Skeleton. I can still hear my parents laughing so hard at them, when I was suppose to be asleep. It was a wonderful sound, and I would like to thank them, and laugh some more. Is that five? Oh goodness, I have a big house, lets invite more. Lenny Kravitz just to stare at, and he can play and sing, if the mood strikes! George Harrison, who I think may have a spiritual side to him, that I would like to know more about. When he died, the entire room he was in, lite up, like lights at Christmas! I want to talk to him, My Sweet Lord ! Jackson Pollock and Andrew Wyeth, Frank Lloyd Wright the list is too long, all the authors and maybe a saint or two.
  Thank you Jimmy Fallon for talking to Barbara, and finding the clip of her dancing with Ray Bolger, you could not have known, how touched I was. How it made me think, and think some more.
  This writing has just been such a pleasure, to think about.
  Just to let you know, you have a seat at my table also.
  The door is open, in the south we don't lock the doors, crazy is welcome