Have Gun Will Travel??

 
 There are so many things that are touchy subjects, where opinions are deep and divided. So what, it has never stopped me before, so here goes.....
 GUNS....Guns and more guns? Maybe in the Wild, Wild West? have we as people not evolved??
Let me go back a space..
 Laramie, Wagon Train, The Rifleman, Rawhide, Gunsmoke, endless hours of gun slinging cowboys, were a huge part of my growing up. My father loves a good western, so it would only be right that his first born daughter would sit next to him, night after night. I knew more about guns then any boy in my neighborhood.
Little did daddy know that I just thought the cowboys were cute, and I liked their horses.
 I have hated guns all of my life. They hurt people, and animals, the end. I know "Little Joe Cartwright" may have worn one, but surely it had no bullets!!!
I don't remember any guns in the house, but their probably was a B-B gun. Daddy always had cap pistols around, and he still collects them, I did not like them either, scared me!! My brothers probably have guns, I don't want to know. We were not a family of hunters, we were gatherers!! Daddy fought in the Korean war, he was a child, holding a weapon. No guns for me.
 I raised four boys without guns, even toy ones. No squirt guns even!! No paint guns, why point something at somebody wanting to hurt them???
They watched violent movies, and I'm sure played violent video games, with the hopes that they had some sense by then!!
AND for every bad movie they saw, we had a deal, that they would see one of my movies with me!! Musicals, comedies, foreign films!!! yes they were tortured with love!! Even my only girl, same rules apply!!

So when I see all these guns talked about, after mass destruction, I shrug my shoulders.
Is there a reason to have all these weapons?
Fear of people killing you??makes you want to buy something to kill them?

Are there lobbyists in Washington for crazy? Who are these NRA people??
I know people still hunt, its the "why" where the problem lies.
I know about the amendment for Davy Crockett to carry a gun.
But teachers in schools, cocked and loaded?? Have you ever had a crazy teacher? My high school English teacher gave us the same spelling test for an entire year! and my science teacher gave me an "A" for having nice teeth!! If they had been armed, somebody would have been shot at the pencil sharpener!!

I wish I had an answer?
I have no problem with people owning a gun, I guess?
Assault weapons? You know there are no Zombies coming!!!!
Armageddon?? I hope to hear Gene Autrey sing as I walk towards the light!!

Fear and ignorance, not a good combo!
I will hang on to hope, instead of a trigger.

Rhythm In The Rain

  It is raining in Atlanta on this first day of January 2013. A steady pulse of liquid, washing the last year away.
This past year, my first as a retired person, has been without a rhythm. No schedule or pattern to any day, to some heaven, to me an adjustment. I have loved each day. Looked at each minute of the day, in a different way. A different tempo even to my thought process. For sure, a new turn in the road, with added stop lights and curves!!! You see I also turned sixty, another big swing in the journey. Much to do about nothing, or manic time to reflect and think!!!  I think I shall look at this passage, like I have the others, with curiosity and the passion of my youth!! Why change now??

 As the lids to Christmas boxes were closed, and another holiday was packed away, I thought about  what I did not write about in December. ( Guess I should think more about run-on sentences?? Never) ( In my world this is just compound/complex/etc.....) Like the books that I have read. You did not think the bustling season would hamper my reading time. Reading is my fix! my Prozac, my booze, reading is my Person!!!(Greys Anatomy shout out!)( OK, I take Prozac but reading is my increased dose!) ( and..I have an Apple-tini but reading is my second drink!) Reading is ALMOST my Christian Grey, but now that is a big stretch and I do mean BIG with a whip!!!
Paris: A Love Story by Kati Marton, a different kind of book for me. She was married to Peter Jennings and Richard Holbrooke. She has lead a charmed and heartbroken life, intrigue for me. She was married to larger than life men, who died young.
Some quotes from this book are:
          Grief distorts everything-time included.
          Like a human snowplow, I surge against the flow
          She had the look of someone who just assumed nothing bad would ever happen to her.
          In Paris you smile only when you have something to smile about. Sorrow and pain are deemed part of life.
          The past should not imprison you

The End of Your Life Book Club by Will Schwalbe, a spectacular book, one to read again. A book to pass on to others. I don't know how to tell you about it? The mother is dying and her son decides to have a book club with just the two of them, in her last years. That would not grab me, but that is all I can think of to say. Its special what we do with our time on this earth, is probably a better way to describe this book, but to be honest that does not do it justice. It is not sad, it is filled with joy. Yes maybe that is the word I was looking for, a book about Joy. We all need to read this, right?
Here are a few pearls from this book of joy:
           Its much easier to follow your bliss when your rent is paid.
           Attacking her desk, her way of cleaning
           There are some genies that, once let out of their bottle, cant be put back in
           Mom had always taught us to examine our decisions by reversibility
           I often seek electronic books, but they never come after me
           there is an etiquette of illness
          Hospitals are interruption factories
          Secrets, she felt, rarely explained or excused anything in real life
I could go on and on, but this brief blog is getting heavy!
I also read Far From the Tree by Andrew Solomon if mental health is your thing. I loved it, and now am reading his second book on depression, The Noonday Demon.

Its a new year, and its still raining. The only thing I know for sure, is this day will be grand, its up to me.
Now if I can just find my sun-light machine, this gray sky is killing me!!! Happy New Year!!

There Is No Elf. There Is No Shelf. There Sure Is No Elf On A Shelf!!!

Each year around this time, I certainly am reminded of things to be thankful for. This holiday season is no exception. You see our Elf On The Shelf went to be with Jesus, many years ago.

With much luck, all my boys escaped the beady eyed creature. The elf began to show up when Em was about four or five. That was also about the timeline that the skinny, red, bendable waif went bye-bye.

Of course I bought the book and the little man, and introduced Emma to all that glitters does not wear a red suit!! You have to move him around the house, and come up with things that the pesky pal would do to mess up your house!! Apparently he watches to see if you are good or bad, something I thought Santa did and teachers!!! Emma was never bad, so why watch her, right?? Also, I was never into pranks or a big fan of a  mess to clean up, so I would just hide him. I would forget where he was, and Emma would forget to ask where mini elf was lurking. There were days, when he was outside sunning, or hanging from lamp, but we really did not care where he was. There was no magic pixy dust to make us find the joy in this venture.
That was just the first year, surely I would try it again, never should our kids miss out on the latest fad!!

The next Christmas rolled around, and he was here again. I asked Emma if she remembered the elf, and she gave me a half smile. Why do mom's add any more stuff on their plates!!! This was just a burden elf, and I proceeded to hide it. Then I became paranoid that it was looking at me, like a demon puppet, so I hid it face down!!! Emma found it laying on the bed, among her stuffed animals and asked me how it could see her, if it was on its stomach???? Hmmm.....x-ray eyes precious, and he gets tired without blinking?? I think she was not waiting for my answer and out the door, but I was ready!!!
A few days into the month she said, "Where is the Elf?" and I said, "He has gone to be with Jesus." ( And I think Jesus in this sentence may be a reference to Je-sus our garbage collector man, who is very kind)
So she brings me the entire manger, barn, kings, Mary, Joseph and the babe. " Mom, do you see the Elf?" ( so the attitude begins) "No Emma, its a miracle!" and she returned the manger and seemed satisfied.

I could find many joys to share with Em and her brothers, without the elf. You pick your battles as parents and you can pick your joys.

Its all good.

My Favorite!?

 It is very hard for me to distinguish what is a true favorite, an almost favorite, or just a love, love this !

My family reminds me often that it is impossible to have so many favorites.

I think that is so not true, I have many favorite things. You see there are so many categories.Certainly at this time of the year, December 1st today, my favorites come into view.  Anne Lamont has a new book, that I have read twice, and she is one of my favorites!! Help, Thanks, Wow: Three Essential Prayers, another jewel in her crown, of writing. I adore her way with words.
Christmas music remains on my list, and this year Rod Stewart has a new CD, that keeps him on my special list. His raspy voice croons a Christmas tune, like none other. FAVORITE!
Putting up Christmas decorations, a pain in the arse, but the lights!!!and the ornaments from each of my children, FAV!!!
Ornaments from relatives and friends over the years adorn my tree, causing me to pause and daily say, "This tree is my favorite! Shopping yesterday, at Crate and Barrel, I spoke in a loud-ish angel voice? "I love this store, it is my ....you know the word by now!" Each dish towel, bowl and cake pan winked as I traveled down the aisles, they see me coming, all these beautiful things. Even the cash register lady, had such a sweet disposition, she was darling, sharing stories, becoming one of my favorite sales people so far this season!

Joy to the world, for this minute!

I returned home and glanced in my dinning room, my favorite room, and saw "THEM" my very favorite thing, maybe forever. They are my signed, Nutcracker Ballet slippers. Used Toe Shoes, yes worn out!!
In Atlanta after the Nutcracker Ballet, they sell all of the toe shoes, to help fund the arts. I love them, and every year, I don't know where to put them. So right now they are sitting on my piano bench, so I can touch them and hold them to my ta-tas, wishing I had been a ballerina. A sweet dream, of a little girl from long ago, who thought she could dance!! I look at these shoes, and think about these young girls, and hope they are so happy dancing. Of course that little girl grew up, and dances like no one is watching! Dancing is another favorite!!!

The season reminds us to read, dance, shop, decorate and rejoice.

If you are reading this, you are also one of my favorite things. You can never have too many!!!!

OH HOLY NIGHT!!!

No I am not delinquent in my writing, I am surrounded by notes and ideas. Sitting down and writing my personal blog, has been interrupted by this glorious fall in Georgia. OR..Should I say, I have languished in the sunshine and warm temperatures, listening to the season for the first time in sixty years. When you are young, you can't pay attention. Little minds are filled up with excitement, pure joy, but unaware of natures majesty. In your twenties and probably thirties, you are considering careers, children and maybe a spouse! You and your brain are on overload, especially when babies come into view. I remember work, work and more work for many years, failing to notice spring, winter, fall and my summer. Surely I made mention of an unbearable winter snow, a welcomed spring in the north, too many leaves to rake every fall, and "my summer" hot and humid and never long enough? Never have I listened to the season. Never have I smelled the leaves and paused.

 I think it has to do with, retirement and my age. Plus October and November in Georgia this year, has been grand. I truly am in awe of whatever the reason, my cup is full.

Little and Big Elves are now putting up the Christmas tree, waiting for me to do all the decorations. All the Thanksgiving dishes are put away, and a few leftovers remain. I sit at this computer, listening, looking, aware of my life, charmed and flawed like so many. So very thankful for this time in my life. Especially Spanx and Botox!!!!! For my five children, who have made me a better person. A husband who lets me, be me and has never questioned what I have bought!!!Thank you Baby Jesus!!! Friends from long ago, and yesterday continue to make me laugh, and hold me when I cry. I love you enough to lick you, but will refrain!!!! So thankful that my parents are still with us, and communicate, text and e-mail and phone!!!! ( I should say Mary, you know Homer will not even pick up the phone!!!) My brothers, who will always be younger, because I AM THE OLDEST SISTER!!!!forever, the queen and you will bow!!! Tommy and Benjie, you rock, I love you.

Tis the season, take a moment to enjoy.

Thank You Baby Jesus and Moses!

  I truly want to thank everyone, light a candle for Mother Mary's cousin Saul, send prayers out into the universe, for President Obama being elected for a second term.
One of my friends called him the pro-abortion president. I wanted to tell her it is called Pro Choice, and that we hope no one ever needs an abortion, but if they do, the people of America will help them. Maybe instead of hating, the forty some odd percentage of people who voted differently than I could go volunteer at a Planned Parenthood facility. Another friend of mine made a list of things that disgruntled republicans could do, to take their mind off the hard loss. Mags wrote that all of us should volunteer to help a teen in trouble, work at a woman's shelter, soup kitchen, look at your elderly parents and thank whomever that they will have affordable health care. I wanted to add, Hospice is always in need of people, watching a family say good-bye to a loved one dying teaches us much. Support small business in your community. To whom much is given, we have to give back. Of course that is the liberal speaking in me.

We do, as a country, have much work ahead, but we always do. You see, we are young and growing. The country is becoming so much more diverse. The demographics have changed. We are not a "Mad Men" TV show anymore, we are a "Modern Family."

Some of you know that my sweet Ward, age 25, died over five years ago. In his lifetime, due to mental illness, he was on many medications. Those medicines made his life normal, at a high cost. You see he stopped taking all of those meds when he was no longer on our insurance plan. He could never afford them, so he stopped. One pill was 800 dollars a month, Ward took four or five different pills a day. He no longer went to the Shrink, because that was 250 dollars an hour. One July morning we found him dead of an apparent accidental drug overdose. Street drugs, they cost 15 dollars. He came off of our insurance the day he graduated college. Now you can keep your children on your policy until 26, thanks to our president. In my heart I wish, that I had been able to help Ward for a little longer, maybe if I had a few more years to keep him safe and functioning, you see affordable health care is personal to me. Yes, to your questions, we took out many loans to help him, tried to get him in many programs that would not take him, because of his insurance. Yes, you see, he did work. Now even his precondition of Autistic, Social Anxiety disorder, Schizophrenia/ Bi polar problems would be covered. He was lucky to live in a time when medication made his life awesome, and unlucky that was taken away from him.

This election has made huge divides between people, both sides can argue their point. I have no fight left in me. I believe in my party and I have hope for the Republican party. Our country needs both parties, we have to work together.

I am a child from the 60's, I believe in love.

I also believe in hard work, it will take all of us.

Spin This!

I know it may be hard for you to believe BUT I do like to exercise. I'm a member of a local Georgia gym, or is it called something else???? Fitness center!!! Not only am I a member, but I go. I love Zumba class, and my aqua swim class is a beautiful thing, I even cycle. Yes I have gone to a spin class, and I don't spin! The music is loud and shaking the rafters. This is probably my driving force, the music, because I don't like to drip sweat, or ride a bike standing up. So I spin in the back, like a turtle, and dance like no one is watching. In fact, I dance and exercise to my own drummer in all my classes. That may explain the loaf of challah around my middle, I spin everything my own way.
Since my retirement, I have decided to try yoga also. I'm searching for the right fit for me, slow and easy. Possibly with some handsome young man in tights, to lift my legs and brace my head up, Downward Dog!!
I figure if the media can spin things their way, so can I.
Today is the presidential election, and its tight.
Depending on who you are listening to, Abraham Lincoln may win. I feel like I cannot believe anyone, or anything. In my optimistic world of hope, that is not going to work.
I think the right person will win, of course my person,(its my spin) and we will all be happy and peaceful.
Just last week, getting ready to go to sleep, I said to my Bill, " I think this 64 degree temperature is as cold as it will be this year." My grumpy Bill replied, " Your delusional Bonnie, its not even winter yet."
I slowly turned towards him and in the dark spewed, " I am filled with HOPE, that is not delusional!!"
You can spin hope, can't you?
Of course!!!!!

Remember to vote..