I think we are in January of another year. Very exciting to see 2022. The numbers roll off my tongue, delightful. They happen to look pretty neat also, look at it again, 2022. ( the font looks small, I may change it and lose everything!!) ( my hands are cold) ( and my mind is circling the drain) ( December was a Biatch!!!)
Mother Mary has been going downhill since she turned 90. Not eating, weak, checked out, is about the best way to describe things. That was in October. November, same.
December, to the hospital, and then to rehab for 21 days. She went from there to Sunrise Assisted Living, Palace of the Elderly. She needed more help, medical and social, and all of the above, to try and thrive. Many changes to all of our lives, hard on the heart and mind. We all know, including her, that it was time. This playground for oldtimers!! is 2 miles from our house. So we can go up there, in a minute. Over the weekend, I went for a banana drive by. She has not been eating good, and I had this banana that looked perfect, so up I went. We took everything in her room at our house, and remade her studio room, the same. Even the clothes are in the same drawers, so she can feel the comfort of being here. Surrounded by photos from birth to now, of all of us, our children, and grands. She has a pillow of our lab Lucy, whom she loved, to look at. She even has a photo of Dan Rather, one of her many loves, in the bathroom, signed by him to her. Everywhere her eye looks, I wanted her, to laugh, smile, see joy and beautifull things. She has a new black iron daybed, with a quilt from her niece Vicky, a Barefoot Dreams( my favorite company)
on her bed. It is a darling studio, tiny kitchen that she says she will never use!! OK!!, a huge picture window to fill the room with light, and Mount Pisgah rings the church bells on the hour. With covid raging, the food is brought to her room, soon, I hope they can all meet up for things, dining room, church,baking club( which she will not do) Bingo( she hates!!!) singing and exercise groups. Pt is in the buiding, and a beauty parlor.
It is only day 5, and she is weak and tired, but she said tonight, she felt a spark of life!!! I told her, I will take it. Get up, stand up, show up, walk, eat and smile, were my words of wisdom for her today. Any prayers you may want to offer us, we are thankful.
The month has been so full that, I did not see or sit with Christmas. When we were putting away the decorations, I had Bill leave the lights on the trees one more day.
I told him I need to sit with Christmas, with the baby Jesus ( from a broken nativity group) in my hands, held tight. I closed my eyes, and just sat with the glow of the trees, thanking the heavens for all our blessings. I told Christmas goodbye, and that I will keep my eyes on the manger and the empty cross. AND I would appreciate a little added attention to my mom, God of all. She is weak, tired, fearful and you have her name in the palm of your hand. Hold her, walk with her through this journey.
Covid hit our families, and took some Christmas joy away, BUT......then their was Wyatt. We were out to dinner, and we saw a bunch of firemen, in uniform, and I told him to look. They saw him and waved, and I told him, they are some heros, so of course he was intrigued. We were eating and he stood up, "Where are they Uma?" I told him not to worry, Uma has her eye on them!!! When we left, I took his hand and way out into the parking lot, we went to look at the three trucks, just Wyatt and I. We touched every surface, looked at the hoses, holes, ladders, tires, we may have almost kissed them, the TRUCKS!!!! We went slow and talked about firemen heros. Wyatt said, " Uma you know everything." Which I agreed!! and then he said, " Uma, you show me so much." and I held tight. That is Christmas.
Hold tight, is my mantra this year.
Love wins
B
PS My two best Christmas gifts this year, was an ornament made out of an okra!! Thank you Jamie Charbonnett, and talking to Finn Baron, who is not a man of a lot of words!! for a lengthy facetime convo, for the first time every!!!
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