I Have No Title

 I have a title for my little essay of nothingness, but I cannot find it. I have looked, and it was awesome, no can find. The title gives me my push, my beginning, guides me. Now you know, I may stray far and wide, but here I am with no title, so hang on....I'm pissed off from not finding the damn thing, and it still on my mind where I put it!! ugh........

Lets start with this book, The Enlightenment of Angelina by Joshua Berkov

It was precious, raw, disrespectful, lovely and like all families, more truth then we sometimes want to hear.

Hear are a few pearls...

Having children is like a game of Russian Roulette. You never know which kid is going to take you out!!

The effects of old age and illness are like predators stalking me in the dark.

Her cheese never quite make it onto the cracker.

"Try to stay present. I know it's hard, what with all that spit and vinegar rolling around in that addled mind of yours."

Cantankerous hornet of a woman!

Charlotte has always been stubborn like it was baked into her at conception.

Read it, if you can find a minute.

Book that I am almost finished with now is Finding Freedom by Erin French.

Couple of words to ponder...

The best way to avoid stepping on his wide radius of broken glass was just to keep quiet. ( gosh this happens all the time)

My depression had severed my ability to care.

A good person, in a bad place, can do things she would never imagine. ( sad)

My father saw emotions as a sign of weakness, and weakness was not masculine. ( Ugh)

Now let me tell you I thought this was a book about food and cooking!!! It said something about cooking from scratch, or starting from scratch?? Well there is food and cooking in the story, but....I think it is about survival, not to swallowed alive, and do not feed the haters, they bite.

I hope for a good ending, I will let you know. 

Next coming up is Stanley Tucci's new book, TASTE, My Life Through Food  I know this will be about food and cooking, right??? Who knows, I love Stanley any kind of way!!!

So there are three books for you and if you don't read, well, I just don't understand why not.

None of us have enough spare time, but we can make some out of thin air, if needed. Most people need a good read, try it. Books on tape, have someone else read to you.

Weather has turned cool here and I never did find my title. It all works out, Later.

B

Two Quarters and A Hurricane

  At sometime during my busy week, I ran by the tomato man. He will only be open for a few more weeks, and I may have a panic disorder over fresh fruit and vegetables!! I refuse to eat a yucky tomato, cucumber, plum, peach, I eat in seasons!! and summer left the arena a few weeks ago. Berries in the local grocery store are from, God only knows where, and they look like my Big Momma's skin!! Kuddos to those who jar and can, fresh things to eat!!!! Now if you are confused, so be it, I  am heading to a point.

My tomato man, likes cash, so I always have some on me. ( that comes from my parents, insisting that we all had to have cash on us at all times!!) ( Only dad would encourage all the bills to be in order and facing the same way!!)( For years he would ask to look at my wallet, and shake his head!!) ( I may have dollars and change scattered and smothered in my purse!! Under the lipsticks!!) 

Wait a minute....back to my tomato man, I gave him a ten dollar bill the other day, and he returned me two quarters. I had not seen change in so long, coins. I smiled and thank him, for my money.

They were shinny and felt good in my hands. Where to put them?? The cup holder of the car, now holds masks and hand sanitizer. My purse is really just a bag for lipstick and a few ID cards. Sunglasses are at rest in my bag, so where does the change go?? Well, I will just drive home and hold onto them. I will put them in a little box, to save and show my grandchildren, whom have never seen coins!!! I had my tomatoes , plums, cucumbers and two quarters. I was and am a happy girl. I show up, pay attention and love each day, the little things count!! Until.......

My husband, the beloved, stops my quarter story the next morning and asks me if I know about this Hurricane in the ocean?? I knew nothing, did not know names, where it is, where it may be going??

I think I only pay attention to things that light up my world!! So I felt a little shame, and promised to be more in tune with the world and news of the day. ( which is not even close to true) I know about some bad things, but I can't fill my brain with horror stories, or I will not get out of bed!! Depression is my companion, and I keep her at bay, with any tools I have. Tracking a damn hurricane, was not on my list, so I thanked Dr. Bill for keeping me in the loop of despair. I got up from the CNN den, and found the birdseed to feed Chip n Dale. I have taught my chipmunks, how to eat quickly and stay under the bushes from the Hawk. Bill then told me, " I was making my pets, large by feeding them so much, that the hawks will be very happy." I  told him, to turn off that news, it was making him crazy!!" Then I go upstairs to see mama Mary, who read the obits for entertainment. She is a news person, 24/7, local Georgia, Local Jacksonville, and all morning and evening news. She truly had a pretend on air love affair with Dan Rather, and my brother had him call her from the golf course!!! She loves news people.

I need sunshine and good human stories, and flowers, music, and on occasion a good tomato and two quarters!!! Having some blinders on, just ask the horse, keeps me looking forward, doing good things, and thinking about how brilliant the human race is!!! I live with Hope, Big Hope, and that, my friends, is all the change I need!! It fits in my heart, even when my purse is full.