Caffeine, Chaos and Cuss Words

Bonnie snippets that I have written down in my books of quotes, random thoughts, and things that have made me laugh.
            HBO, last year of Girls, has been the funniest show I have seen in these past six years. It is outside the universe BOX, and that is my comfort zone. Cringe worthy moments of being young, not in my day, but I feel like my generation paved the way.
                  Hannah- I can only control the mayhem around me. ( which really means, no control)
                  Hannah- Well Fuck me, I did not get that information. ( Sometimes in life, Fuck has to be used)
                  Hannah's gay friend that she now lives with ( name escapes me at the moment)- My goal is to Fuck my way to the middle!! ( I feel off the couch, who wants to rise to the middle!!)
             This may not be your cup of tea, which is OK, it is mine. And if you want to know how people glow from the inside out, you will have to watch. ( I will try to keep my cuss words in check, but.....)
           Next-The Young Pope, think it was on HBO also. Very odd, but had it moments. ( I love Jude Law)             Young Pope's mentor as he is dying- You think you are the hinges, but you are the door!( that one line was worth watching the entire mini series)
           One from me, " Lord, Lord, Lord, lord, lord, whisper my sweet lord, my prayer while trying to take a nap, but my brain will not turn off. Then yelling, " How can I pray to you?" "Where were you when, My Ward died?" but..... that is my conversation with the holy man and mother. ( I write down everything.
           Visiting my hometown of Jacksonville, My brother Tommy-not worth a flicker!! I can never explain it to you. It is more of a hand signal, then spoken word, we have our own language. We make each other laugh, and cry! ( I know that most of these, need quotation marks, but I have a hair appointment, I may be in a hurry?) ( not really, I just like to mess with grammar people)
     
          The real reason for this blog, besides cleaning out my notebook, was to talk about Flat land.
I love driving in Florida, walking in Florida, riding a bike in Florida, it is flat as a pancake. Level, smooth, straight, you can drive and relax, and look around. It gives me such pleasure, that it took me by surprise, this last trip. I can feel the road change, and the water level coming up to meet my tires. The smell changes, the landscape turns to Pines and Palmettos, and then to Palm Trees. The swampy, moss infected areas of North Florida, my home base, never changes. It is the land of many stories, damp with humidity.
               My daughter and I, drove around my old haunts, and she may have mentioned, "You do this every time we come!" and " I don't know any of these people or places, that you are talking about!"
              I just kept driving, there is Edward's house, Melinda and I thought we would marry and live next to each other, in those two houses, I always thought the Corum's house was so pretty. There is Bruce Street, Lucky Drive, Pop-Pop made that fence that surrounds his house on 65th, or one of those numbers. Look, there is Andrew Jackson, Kirby Smith, My Emma, did not look, she just let me remember with fondness and rolled down windows. Main Street, slow and flat, sprinkled with youthful wonder. I know that you can really never go home again, but sometimes it comes to you. In the sound of the road, flat and constantly straight, holding me gently, pointing to the sea.
              love
               B

      I 

Fifty Shads

     Words are important. Coming out of your mouth or in print, it may alter your course.
      Just this week, my Atlanta girlfriends went to see Fifty Shads, that is what the marquee read.
      Before entering, hysterical laughter began, we all looked at each other. I said, " I will get up and leave if this is about fish!" Then all kinds of fish stories began, our journey was to start with a mistake.
      I took out my ear plugs, because movies are so loud anymore, and my buddies, thought maybe I had brought in some small sex toys, you see we were in out seats for Fifty Shades Darker. Then I caught a whiff of Vicks, asking my dear BFF, what kind of love potion is this!! ( they were Vicks cough drops, for a cold, and to quiet out cough from laughing like Hyenas ) Then the Queen, brings out of giant purse, a Swifter duster!!! ( the movie has not even started) We are now doubled over, crying, because this duster would probably be in our Red Room of Delight! We were weak in the knees and at that point we had not seen The Pummel Horse!
     For sure we recommend this movie, you attract your tribe, bring them with you.
     Don't be fooled by the sign, about fish! We caught a whopper of a good time on our line, and a small ( well, we don't really know?) butt action of Christian Grey.
    
      This Saturday blog began to be about words, but you know how my mind travels, it is awesome!!
      The house is quiet, Lucy girl is snoring by my feet, and I can just wander in my head and out!!
Before the movie, that I saw this week, I had a few minutes to retail dance. I scooted into Anthropologie and roamed. I like their marketing skills, colors, sets, designs, its a wonderful store to look at. The have a very wide list of interesting stuff, pricey, but off the beaten path combo of things.
I found some hair ties that were in my price range, and claimed them as mine. I turned over the package that they were on and it read like this:
                                            SHE TOOK HER HAIR
                                                like her drink
                                            NEAT, WITH A TWIST
I screamed, a little, I love clever people, good writers and marketing giants! The hair ties caught my eye, but when I turned them over to look at the price, the above quote was on the back. Yes, these are calling my name. Yes, the were too expensive, but I can blog about it!! So I will reason my purchase, through hell and high water.
   Then I quickly went to the sale area, found a scarf and some dish towels, looked like they were from India, prices slashed. I think, Christmas gifts, girlfriend gifts, Bonnie gifts?? I walked to the counter, and the lady was so adorable, then she put my jewels in a darling paper bag. Check all boxes, words and details make a difference.( I tried to use my new hair ties today, not great, but they are cute, so......half a check!)

  Movie and retail therapy during the work week, and dinner!! ( food delicious, waiter young and talked too much,) ( we also had to stop talking about politics, before our food got stuck in our throats)
Sometimes, lack of words, conversation, chatter is preferred. We took a small vow of silence, in remembrance of days gone by!! No Trump zone, dinner, movie and night!! I slept like a princess.
      Now, I am going to finish reading two books, and listen to my quiet house, the sound is beautiful.
      Expect a couple of book reviews to come, in a couple of days.
      February has been so busy, not complaining, just thinking as my fingers hit the keys!
      Love, look for it in the words. 
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From Both Sides

   Our family has been so blessed this year with a new baby, Wyatt Heyward Baron, adopted in January, to my son Hartley and Nicole.
   Adoption is a big part of our family, we adopted two little girls from India. Amy Grace did not live to be with us, and Queen Emma Lea Reshma Baron reigns Baron all the way. She is my baby girl, my only girl and will turn 29 this year, I think. ( mom is getting old!) ( birthdays, years, ages, not high on my brain cell count lately) ( retirement, I don't even know what year it is!!)
  We are graced by these wonderful women, who cared that their babies had good homes, good people to love them. These women are strong and filled with so much love for these children. We are thankful for their choice. AND it was their choice. The whys and hows, we don't know or understand, but they made a choice.
      This is what the Planned Parent Organization, Pro choice, Pro life, Pro health is all about.
It is all about choice, and I do not think any body makes these decision with a flip of their hair.

     I know I didn't. You see I have been on Both sides, adopted a baby and had an abortion.
     Both decisions were about choice.
     Both decisions are really my business, but you know I live to share.

At 23, I was a young Radiology technician, getting ready to go work in the Cardiovascular Lab. My career path, and education were everything to me. ( One step down from boys!!) ( forever boy crazy)
Birth control pills became the norm, and I was thrilled. However there were so many kind, and they made me deathly sick. My OBGYN who was once a resident that I worked with, tried me on soooo many kinds, until we found one that worked. Except it didn't, I was pregnant on the pill, and just threw up my hands!! I had a choice to make, and quickly. I was not scared or ashamed, I knew I could not carry or deliver a baby, at that time. Youthful selfishness maybe, but I am a pretty smart cookie, and I weighed out all of the options. I was not pressured by anyone, very few even knew about it. It was between, me and God, and the doctor. I was not paralyzed with what was right or wrong. I made a choice, and it was the right choice.
  The procedure, was painful but done in a hospital clinic, with a resident from the hospital I worked for. It cost a lot of money, that I did not have, and I borrowed from several people.
  I promised the universe that I would spend my life helping people, loving people and serving people.
  Not because I felt guilty, but I did feel an empty spot.

 I went on with my life, married a man with two young sons, instant family. We had two more boys out of my body, and then we adopted Emma. Did I give back, give someone a life, that would not have survived? Maybe, but I think she gave to us.

Life is very much about choices. No one goes out and gets pregnant, celebrating that they will have an abortion over a glass of vino. These choices are huge.

It is very hard to dial back, as some would like us to do, in this election season. The divide is so wide, and deep. I am having a hard time finding any common ground, and every fiber of my being ( and there is a lot of it!!) aches for some of the recent decisions I see happening now.

 Many people asked why the snowflakes ( whatever that means??) marched, because we believe choice is important to all women. Pro life and Pro Abortion rights, female rights, we should march together.
  The common ground, that I search for, is maybe a dialogue of kindness, and an open heart on both sides. You see I have been on both sides, It is about choice. Yes I know, does the fetus have a choice, not when its in my body. That is how I feel, and you can feel however you need to, and be at peace.
   When I was split open to have my second baby, I asked my doctor to burn/cut my tubes. She said, " Bonnie, are you sure, you are so young." I was very sure, never more sure, that no other child was coming out of me, it was my choice, not the hubs, or the doctors, MINE!.
  I had wanted to adopt children since I was a little girl, if there were going to be any more Baron angels, with protruding baby horns, I would adopt.

 Sigmund Freud said;
            If age knew; if age could.
Choice comes from both sides, remember that.
I pray to not be angry and be a good listener, but I will not be silent.