Goldilocks and the Three Shoes

    All my life, I have loved shoes. I am pretty certain that most little girls have this habit.
    Growing up we had Sunday shoes, school shoes, tennis shoes (sneakers), and in Florida many flip-flops.
Normally these lasted you through the school year, there just was not much money floating around for extras.
I remember my first pumps, they were navy and pinched!! I know that you could not skate in most tennis shoes, that oxfords were better for keeping your skates tight around your toes. AND... if your mom caught you skating in school shoes, it was not going to be a happy day dance! so we all knew where the polish was located. My first pair of Weejuns and Lady Bostonians lasted me most of high school, and I wish I had them today. My loafers had pennies in them, and it was very cool, for awhile. In 6th grade I was playing Mrs. Santa Claus in our school play, and it was a prime role, mom splurged and bought me red, shinny flats. I was in high cotton!! until I wore them to show my Adah (Aunt Alice) and road home with dad in the truck! He turned the corner, and out I flew, dragging my red shoes down Pearl Street, and him holding my hand, until he could drag me back into the seat. ( Note he did not stop the truck!!) (Homer stories!) Mom could not console me, but with enough red shoe polish, I was able to wear them, and of course shine in my part!!! You know I love the stage, even with scuffed up new shoes!!
    As I grew up and earned my money, I bought shoes for no reason. Monthly shoes, football game wearing shoes, date shoes, bedroom slipper shoes, nurse shoes, running/tennis shoes, hooker heels, the list is endless. I even had cowboy boots, in Florida?? with short legs, not a cute look, but I had them!
Flip flops, in every color, and some worn thin as paper, loved those shoes.
  You may wonder why this female rant about something so universal? Well recently I have seen my shoe fetish, dwindle. This alarms me. Just this week, I went on a shoe journey, and came back with Merrill slip on shoes. I have five pair of these shoes! They are not attractive but they are comfortable!! WHAT has happened? Never did I think I would choose comfort over cute!! I remember last year, just last year, buying several pairs of high heels, with no intention of wearing them, just to put them on around the house! I still had the desire to toot my own horn, in the confines of la casa!! To strut the cat walk, headed to the laundry room. Where is that women, I want her back.
   I broke my leg, a couple of years ago, and I think that pushed me towards, comfort in a big way. I walked all over Paris, and that continued to convince me, that comfort in shoes is a must. I just know Goldilocks knew when she found the stuff that was "just right!" Why do they have to look like mesh .....clod hoppers(is there such a word?)
  Do I have to give in to this aging process? Maybe if I could just put a cute bow on the top? I bought all the cute colors, but its the same orthopedic looking shoe.
  Oh the obstacles that face us, and cause me concern!
  Comfort has won, but I will not surrender....the search for cute is part of the fun!!

People Magnet?

 My mom and I have always laughed that we attract people.
 We are people magnets.
 We must ooze something that people see and say, "Let me just tell this person, my life story with many adjectives!"
 Most times, this is an utter joy, and gives me much needed material. Other times, I want people to be able to take facial cues, look at the big picture.
 On an airplane, my eyes are closed, I have earplugs in, and I am holding prayer beads. Does this scream, Talk To Me! Maybe I have a conversation aroma, that I am unaware of?
 Strangers talk to me, under the bathroom door, in many places. " Can you believe how long women have to wait in lines at the bathroom?" stranger is talking. I look around, and think, ( how do you make a thinking bubble on paper?), Maybe its a distant cousin, so of course I reply, "I know, flush!"
 This week was no different. I was at Piedmont Hospital, in the nuclear medicine department, with Emma for some tests. Emma and I both look anxious, the procedure will be three hours, she goes back. I pull out my Kindle and am sitting in a corner. Only one other person, is in the small, freezing waiting room. Its very quiet, when something bellows, " Are you having a procedure?"
 "No, my daughter." whispered I.
 Stranger Carol (yes she told me her name) proceeds, " Well I have had breast cancer, I have a pacemaker and I may have a blood clot!"
 " Oh my, I am so sorry, eyes go back to book." me reading.
 SC ( stranger Carol) moves closer, to continue about not having 92.00 dollars for a co-pay, and she goes to the hand sanitizer machine, to put the soap in her hair!!! not on her hands, her hair. I think she feels bad, because I have on lipstick. ( this is my thought process!!)
 SC has 63 years worth of family stories, to fill up at least two of my hours. She is a white racist, and a christian,( which I always find fascinating!), she always wanted children, and most of her family has been in jail. She has worked for the banking system for over twenty years, with many of those years being disabled due to bad things!!!!! I have placed my Kindle in my purse.
She goes back to her exam, and I sigh. So pitiful, and in pain, what a horrible combo. She has shared her life story with me, why?????
 SC comes out, and I speak, "Now you can go home."
 "Oh no, I have to wait" SC does not miss a beat.
 " I think I will need another Heart Cath, and those scare me, although......I did not bruise when they put the catheter in my groin, she points!" " Have you ate?" SC was thinking about me.
 " I am fine, thank you." me.
 Technician comes out, and says she can go.
 SC comes over to me, grabs me out of the chair, and hugs and kisses me, almost in the mouth!
 I tell her, I wish for her the best and remind her not to let her nephew crack head  move in with her.
She leaves.
Again, I smile, shaking my head and thinking, " Brain, I hope you took notes, because this is some good stuff!"

We never know, never, who we will meet up with in life. Also, we will never know this SC's heart, she just needed a listening ear.
Emma came out of her exam and looked at me, " Mom you look drained!"
" Stranger Carol...(Emma looked confused) lets get out of this place, hospitals make me sick!)
Like my mom says, " Bonnie we attract all kinds!! its  a gift??!!"

A gift with no return policy! Magnets, its a gift for sure!!!

Peter,Peter, Pumpkin Eater....

   Many years ago, when I was in Radiology Tech school, at Duval Medical Center,I began my issues with smells.( I make myself laugh! I don't know how I will connect this, but I will!) As a young student, taking care of sick people was new to me. In fact, seeing people naked was a new concept. Seeing poor people, ravaged by diseases that were new to me, eye opening. Working the ER, mind altering. I was like a sponge, soaking in all of the things associated with medicine, except for smells!
  There were no "plug-ins" back in the day. I think maybe the hospital, did not even have much in the line of air conditioning. Body odor, bodily fluids, feces, puke, car wreck smells, burnt skin, and my favorite, autopsy fun!
 My first trip to the county morgue, and the doctor told us to cram Vicks Vapor Rub in our nose? I smeared a little, as if I had the sniffles. The body we were to take the xray of, was a young man, who had been shot, and left in the Florida sunshine for about a week. They unzipped the bag, and I ran to grab the entire bottle of Vicks, which barely masked the decayed smell. Smells are huge, good and bad, and some will never leave you. This morgue visit, I'm talking about some forty years later.
 My first visit to the ER, was taking care of burn victims from Woodbine Georgia. Some kind of plant had blown up, and we received some of the people. I had burnt, dead skin on my shoes, and the smell is just as strong today as it was then. I went upstairs to the Radiologist office, and told him that I did not think this was for me, he smiled. He sent me back to the war zone, and I never let smells change my plan of action.

 However, I feel certain if places, like hospitals used the smell of pumpkin, people would heal better. Maybe even apples, the smell of Autumn. With all my serious thoughts, I believe this to be true.
Pumpkin pudding, pies, cookies, bread, just pause and sniff! You do not even have to like the taste, the smell, makes you take pause.
 There is pumpkin hand soap, lotions and potions!!, face masks, candles and sprays.
The color pumpkin, in nail polish and lipstick, to die for!
This time of the year, when summer leaves me wanting more, pumpkin saves me.
I had to pull over to the side of the road, last week, and hold my pumpkin latte from Starbucks in my hands, for a moment! I held it to my face, the warmth and the smell, thank you baby Jesus, for such a smell.
 If only this divine smell, was available in a jell form, back in my training days? I don't know, maybe I would not have gone back to the ER that day, I guess I had to learn. How would I know how such wonderful smells would touch me, if I had not smelled the worse? I will never know, I just think, pumpkin vs Vicks, Iam voting pumpkin!! (Hospitals, listen to me, I may be right!) and (by the way, it would not be a bad idea, to not paint hospitals the color of smashed peas either!)
  Life is so full of stories, I hope you write yours down.
I got to thinking about Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater
                                  Had a wife, but could not keep her!
He put her in a pumpkin shell, and she never left!!!
The smells of Fall, the smell of pumpkins, will heal you.
***Malia Bagdy, thank you from the bottom of my heart, for giving me your pumpkin pudding recipe. Thank you for making it for me for my Christmas present, you knew I loved it sooo much!!!

Yes, We Have No Bananas

  There are times in each of our lives, where the fork in the road, is covered in kudzu. So what do you do? Turn around, remove the choking vines, or plow through making a new path, because both forks, f*ck.
To turn around you see the same stuff, boring.
You know I will not go into any vines, scared of snakes.
At least a new path, you can skip the fu*ked fork, right!! (at some point I may have to write the word, the little asterisk is pissing me off!)
  August had me laying stones for a new road. My favorite month, had too many bumps and bruises. Sharp turns, steep cliffs, and a weary soul was I. Usually the Leo in me, holds court, not this August. I had to dig and keep digging to find my joy juice. I promise you each day there is so much happiness, just sometimes it is like Waldo, hard to find even in that stupid striped shirt.
The rain this summer, tried to override my meds, but a few good books saved the day.
Amy Falls Down by Jincy Willet
Zealot:Life and Times of Jesus by Reza Aslan
Hadol and Hyacinths: a Bipolar Life by Melody Moezzi ( Best title ever)
Reading restores me, educates me, and allows me to let you in on my secrets.

   Orange is the New Black, is downloaded on my Kindle. However, I decided to watch the first series , before I read the book. May be a first for me, and what a good choice. I enjoyed it so much, all the characters are prison delicious, and would make nurse Ratchett proud, or maybe annoyed?? The casting in the series is over the top, crazy good.

  We saw in August the movie, The Butler, that brought back so many memories. I have never understood why a persons skin color made any difference. I cried through most of the movie, remembering the times so vividly. I remember the day I drank out of the colored water fountain, and my cousin nearly died. I did not care, it was a stupid rule. I would have walked with Martin if I could have, I was too young, but maybe I wasn't. Those times made me the person I am today. A person where the content of your character, is what should be judged, NOT EVER the color of ones skin. A must see movie, for all, to see. I hope.

  Bruno I have written about, hope you have had a chance to read some of my few August blogs, I have been in a funk!
  The thing that saved me, and touched my very core of happy, was my banana tree. Yes, you never know what will just thrill you, but that tree carried me. One morning, I was in my yucky ways, making the bed, gathering clothes to wash, and I decided to open all the windows in my bedroom. The side windows, I seldom open, but this morning, I did and the beanstalk was there!! My banana tree was up to my window of our two story house, waving her hands at me. " Look at me Bonnie, how can you be sulking!" said my tree. I always share joy, so I yelled downstairs to hubby, " Bill, I need you to bring my camera and I need help!"
He is huffing up the stairs, "What is wrong?" (see negative energy)
" I need you to take off the window screen, so I can hang out of the window and take a good picture of my tree." OK, thanks dear. ( I did not say dear, but he knows I was thinking it??)
" How am I suppose to take out this screen, this high up?" spoke the chemist in him.
" I don't really care, bring it in, let it drop, I have been called to take this picture of joy and I NEED IT" said I in a much loving way. He did and I did, take the photo, and I look at it and smile.  You will see.
 Happiness is all around us, sometimes you loose a window screen, but its a new path and its a new month,
and Yes, We Have No Bananas, but we have a tree.