Words or Silence??

I will not be silent, nor go gently into the night.
Holding my tongue, has never been my strong suit, but I do weigh my words.
Words hold so much power.
Words can take you higher, or lower then a snakes belly. They can be thrown like darts, or go down like warm hot chocolate.
People so quickly recite the word of the Lord, and in the same breath the word of Lance Armstrong.

This Inauguration Day, January 2013, words will be spoken. I will hang on each syllable with the hope of a nation.
Yesterday, while watching Joe Biden take his oath, I saw him tell Judge Sotomayor that he loved her. He also said it was "his honor" to have her present. It was a beautiful thing to say to anyone. To be present in sharing moments in history or in day to day living, we need to tell people that we love them.

This week I had lunch with a friend, and when leaving she said, " I love you Bonnie Baron." I like that she called me by name and always leaves with that message. Words are enormous!!

When I was at University Hospital Cardiovascular Lab, my mentor and friend, Dr. Robert Miller would daily "throw out" big words to educate us. We were all young students, learning medical terms, and he reminded us that we had to cast a wider net!!! " There is more to learn, out there", then the cacophony of you girls.
Then in our most stressed of time, he would say, "Oh, the pulchritude we have in this lab, blinds me!" We all had to reach for the dictionary. He taught us, in so many ways, that words were important.

Then there are moments of no words. Grief over the death of my son, took my words. I had nothing to say, I was broken and silent. A mothers sound of grief, speaks volumes, with nary a word.

Words can be far-reaching, gargantuan, or off the beaten path.

Let us all be good listeners, and speak from our hearts. AND..maybe remember to count to ten!

Use our words wisely, and keep the dictionary open!

Have Gun Will Travel??

 
 There are so many things that are touchy subjects, where opinions are deep and divided. So what, it has never stopped me before, so here goes.....
 GUNS....Guns and more guns? Maybe in the Wild, Wild West? have we as people not evolved??
Let me go back a space..
 Laramie, Wagon Train, The Rifleman, Rawhide, Gunsmoke, endless hours of gun slinging cowboys, were a huge part of my growing up. My father loves a good western, so it would only be right that his first born daughter would sit next to him, night after night. I knew more about guns then any boy in my neighborhood.
Little did daddy know that I just thought the cowboys were cute, and I liked their horses.
 I have hated guns all of my life. They hurt people, and animals, the end. I know "Little Joe Cartwright" may have worn one, but surely it had no bullets!!!
I don't remember any guns in the house, but their probably was a B-B gun. Daddy always had cap pistols around, and he still collects them, I did not like them either, scared me!! My brothers probably have guns, I don't want to know. We were not a family of hunters, we were gatherers!! Daddy fought in the Korean war, he was a child, holding a weapon. No guns for me.
 I raised four boys without guns, even toy ones. No squirt guns even!! No paint guns, why point something at somebody wanting to hurt them???
They watched violent movies, and I'm sure played violent video games, with the hopes that they had some sense by then!!
AND for every bad movie they saw, we had a deal, that they would see one of my movies with me!! Musicals, comedies, foreign films!!! yes they were tortured with love!! Even my only girl, same rules apply!!

So when I see all these guns talked about, after mass destruction, I shrug my shoulders.
Is there a reason to have all these weapons?
Fear of people killing you??makes you want to buy something to kill them?

Are there lobbyists in Washington for crazy? Who are these NRA people??
I know people still hunt, its the "why" where the problem lies.
I know about the amendment for Davy Crockett to carry a gun.
But teachers in schools, cocked and loaded?? Have you ever had a crazy teacher? My high school English teacher gave us the same spelling test for an entire year! and my science teacher gave me an "A" for having nice teeth!! If they had been armed, somebody would have been shot at the pencil sharpener!!

I wish I had an answer?
I have no problem with people owning a gun, I guess?
Assault weapons? You know there are no Zombies coming!!!!
Armageddon?? I hope to hear Gene Autrey sing as I walk towards the light!!

Fear and ignorance, not a good combo!
I will hang on to hope, instead of a trigger.

Rhythm In The Rain

  It is raining in Atlanta on this first day of January 2013. A steady pulse of liquid, washing the last year away.
This past year, my first as a retired person, has been without a rhythm. No schedule or pattern to any day, to some heaven, to me an adjustment. I have loved each day. Looked at each minute of the day, in a different way. A different tempo even to my thought process. For sure, a new turn in the road, with added stop lights and curves!!! You see I also turned sixty, another big swing in the journey. Much to do about nothing, or manic time to reflect and think!!!  I think I shall look at this passage, like I have the others, with curiosity and the passion of my youth!! Why change now??

 As the lids to Christmas boxes were closed, and another holiday was packed away, I thought about  what I did not write about in December. ( Guess I should think more about run-on sentences?? Never) ( In my world this is just compound/complex/etc.....) Like the books that I have read. You did not think the bustling season would hamper my reading time. Reading is my fix! my Prozac, my booze, reading is my Person!!!(Greys Anatomy shout out!)( OK, I take Prozac but reading is my increased dose!) ( and..I have an Apple-tini but reading is my second drink!) Reading is ALMOST my Christian Grey, but now that is a big stretch and I do mean BIG with a whip!!!
Paris: A Love Story by Kati Marton, a different kind of book for me. She was married to Peter Jennings and Richard Holbrooke. She has lead a charmed and heartbroken life, intrigue for me. She was married to larger than life men, who died young.
Some quotes from this book are:
          Grief distorts everything-time included.
          Like a human snowplow, I surge against the flow
          She had the look of someone who just assumed nothing bad would ever happen to her.
          In Paris you smile only when you have something to smile about. Sorrow and pain are deemed part of life.
          The past should not imprison you

The End of Your Life Book Club by Will Schwalbe, a spectacular book, one to read again. A book to pass on to others. I don't know how to tell you about it? The mother is dying and her son decides to have a book club with just the two of them, in her last years. That would not grab me, but that is all I can think of to say. Its special what we do with our time on this earth, is probably a better way to describe this book, but to be honest that does not do it justice. It is not sad, it is filled with joy. Yes maybe that is the word I was looking for, a book about Joy. We all need to read this, right?
Here are a few pearls from this book of joy:
           Its much easier to follow your bliss when your rent is paid.
           Attacking her desk, her way of cleaning
           There are some genies that, once let out of their bottle, cant be put back in
           Mom had always taught us to examine our decisions by reversibility
           I often seek electronic books, but they never come after me
           there is an etiquette of illness
          Hospitals are interruption factories
          Secrets, she felt, rarely explained or excused anything in real life
I could go on and on, but this brief blog is getting heavy!
I also read Far From the Tree by Andrew Solomon if mental health is your thing. I loved it, and now am reading his second book on depression, The Noonday Demon.

Its a new year, and its still raining. The only thing I know for sure, is this day will be grand, its up to me.
Now if I can just find my sun-light machine, this gray sky is killing me!!! Happy New Year!!